Do you still get nervous?

[Daenna Paz]

For those who go out, I have a question; do you still get nervous before opening the door and leaving? ;^)
I have been out quite a bit - day and night, alternative and mainline, many different places. I find I still get nervous before leaving my house / hotel room. Is this true for any of you? If so, what do you do to settle yourself?

[AllieSF]

I used to get a little nervous when already out the door. Now, I am pretty much over all that except for that occasional hesitation using public transportation, being in a way trapped in one location with no way out, besides the next stop.

[Holly]

Daenna, I can't say that I do. The way I figure it, what do I have to be nervous about? I mean, it's not like I'm planning on robbing bank or something. Am I not entitled to buy groceries, enjoy a movie, spend a day at an amusement park, try cosmetics, shop for clothes, or any other activity of daily living I choose to engage in? I have yet to encounter a sign saying, "Men in skirts and/or dresses, your money is not welcome here."

Here's a thought... people are generally nervous doing things they lack confidence doing or fear failing doing well. I simply cannot fail by being myself. I start having s good time the moment I hit the door!

[Sarah Doepner]

I still get nervous, but it's a lot like jumping in a swimming pool. It's so much colder if you ease in slowly instead of just jumping in. I prepare the best I can before leaving the house or room, that one last look top to bottom to make sure everything is as good as it's going to get. Then if I approve of the look I give myself a spritz of perfume as a reminder that I'm okay. Having the perfume as the last thing helps me if I begin to worry. I just take a deep breath and the scent reminds me "all is well", then I smile and go about my business.

[Elsa Larson]

For me, the burst of adrenaline before stepping out en femme is the same that I feel when it is time to step on stage in a role.
In both scenarios, I am in costume and will be playing a different part than in my daily life.
But the real world stage is huge, there is only a bare outline of a script and it took time for me to feel comfortable while improvising.

[windycissy]

Sure, it's part of the rush...guess that's one reason why I only smoke when I'm en femme, a little nicotine hit calms me down. Once I've had my first encounter, I settle down and sometimes I almost forget who I really am. Of course, first date jitters are something else, even real girls have those!

[sandra-leigh]

For over a year I haven't gone full out including wig and makeup; I grew my hair out instead. If it has been several weeks since I was last out in a skirt or (more so) a dress, then when I go out, I might feel a bit apprehensive. Of course apprehensive if it is a short skirt or short dress, but even if there is no real question of modesty, if the garment is "unquestionably female" then I can start out a bit nervous, or get a bit nervous as I enter a crowd, or as I enter a more isolated place.

For example, I have a number of blue denim skirts, and as long as they are more than half-way down to the knee, no-one gives a hoot, as blue denim is practically a unisex fabric now. But for example my green and black and slightly lacy skirt is a color and trim combination almost never worn by males around here, so I am no longer wearing something that people can mentally translate in to "guy shorts that are cut a bit unusually": instead I am decidedly wearing a female garment. It doesn't have to be attention-getting to have this effect; for example I have an light-colored skirt that is on the boundary between yellow, brown, and orange -- quite subdued, but you wouldn't see a guy wearing pants made out of it.

Likewise, I have some blue denim dresses, and people don't pay much attention to them. I also have a number of suit/skirt or suit/dress combos, and people don't pay a lot of attention to those either... jacket covers the top, the bottom is not flashy, so people can map it into "close enough" to guy-wear. But let me put on one of my green dresses, and that's a DRESS, dangit... and I get a bit anxious about whether today will be the day people won't accept it or will stare or young punks will call me "faggot", or so on.

I am not consistent about such things. Two weeks ago I went out a couple of times in one of my red dresses, and the anxiety there was at the time of choosing the garment for the day, "is it too much?". But once I had put it on me to see how I looked, I was fine and there was no anxiety about going out in it either day (one of which was about 10 hours.)

[Sara74]

Daenna, I can't say that I do. The way I figure it, what do I have to be nervous about? I mean, it's not like I'm planning on robbing bank or something. Am I not entitled to buy groceries, enjoy a movie, spend a day at an amusement park, try cosmetics, shop for clothes, or any other activity of daily living I choose to engage in? I have yet to encounter a sign saying, "Men in skirts and/or dresses, your money is not welcome here."

Here's a thought... people are generally nervous doing things they lack confidence doing or fear failing doing well. I simply cannot fail by being myself. I start having s good time the moment I hit the door!

Well said Holly. It's posts like this that helps me to build confidence in myself. I have yet to venture outside my front door en femme, but when the day comes that I do...I will be remembering this and all the other brave stories from all of you that have no fear. One day it will happen..

[Rachel Morley]

Not any more. Going out of the door, even if there are neighbors just the other side of the fence, don't bother me. These days, the only time I might get nervous is when I'm in a very busy public place and there are a lot of people up very close to me, like in a crowd. Last time this happened was a busy Saturday afternoon at the King Tut Exhibition at the De Young Museum in San Francisco. Lots of people, teens, families, etc all up close even brushing shoulders with me it was so packed as we walked through the exhibit. I come out of that one ok though. :)

[Nicole Brown]

As many others have already said, I use to but not really anymore. Going out as Nicole has become a very normal everyday experience for me. In fact, I now feel more comfortable going out as Nicole than I do in drab.

[renee k]

For me it's getting by the mirror on the way out the door. I'm my own worst critic, if a hair is out of place I panic. It's really not that bad. But I do give myself a once over before leaving. And the same holds true when I exit the car one last look in the mirror before hopping out. Once I'm out the door I'm fine.

Renee

[OccasionalSkirt]

Actually, I'm normally scared...but mainly that I'll slip in heels! I nearly broke a leg on the sidewalk going from my car to a party.

[jenna_woods]

I used to ger nervous, but now I have acepted who I am and I don't cae who knows it, so no not any more,

[NathalieX66]

i only get nervous when trying to leave the door when my "SuperCop/FamilyMan®" neighbor and family are at home and their kids are riding their bicycles in my driveway, which he uses...that's just how my property is arranged. They don't know this side of me. They're also close friends with my parents. Once I'm in the car, and out in public, I'm much more at ease.

Yeah, people might stare or "clock" me, I',m not bothered by that. So far, i have gotten nothing but smiles.

[ArleneRaquel]

After over 50 years of dressing and over six full time I completely at ease, except for my new male, neighbor ( 40's )who seems to be at home at all times and is always starring out of the window. He gives me the creeps, and he does not like CD'es, at least not this one. :sad: :2c:

[DianeDeBris]

Holly got it exactly right (as she pretty much always does, I just love learning from her!) -- we are simply going about our business peacefully and lawfully, we collectively provide a huge number of jobs for our neighbors, and we are overwhelmingly good people. Who has any right to second-guess us?

[Diane Smith]

I only get a little nervous if my very conservative and religious next-door neighbor is out and about when I leave the house. So it lasts for about the 15 feet from the back door to the car, then. Otherwise, I come and go as I please these days, and it feels natural and normal to be doing it. It took many years to get to that point, though.

- Diane

[faltenrock]

usually not, if I do get nervous, it's just the first few seconfs when out

[Frédérique]

For those who go out, I have a question; do you still get nervous before opening the door and leaving? If so, what do you do to settle yourself?

Yes, I still get nervous, since my crossdressing is inherently clandestine, even on the best of days. It’s not so much fear as it’s a desire to go around unnoticed and unbothered, becoming completely immersed in something I love to do. In my case, these moments are rare, and I plan for an experience – I want it to go well, if only for the story (or the memory), so I get nervous. I actually delay pleasure, which helps to “settle” myself to a certain extent, but once I’m out and about I’m OK. Vulnerability will creep up on me from time to time like a shadow, but I’m somehow able to convince myself that all is well – crossdressing has the power to do that, but it comes with experience…:battingeyelashes:

[dominique]

Yes if I haven't been out for a while. But normally no.

[Kathryn Martin]

The only reason I get nervous when going out is that when I am dressed I am more fearful of being assaulted by random people. I know to some extent that this is irrational. Being dressed in itself does not make me nervous.

I feel excited and anxious going out too, but in a positive way, like stage fright.

[Gerrijerry]

Yes every day. You never know what the day will bring who we will meet or what adventure we will have. I tend to worry about a lot of things, do I have enough money to pay my bills, will my family be ok, how will life be when I finally retire. At work will I get my work done on time. Oh my the list just goes on and on. I worry so much that I am worried I will forget to get dressed and leave the house naked. Who does not worry about something. I guess all I can do is just keep going and worry that all the worry does not kill me.

[AKAMichelle]

Yes - but the good news is that it is short lived. Because once you are on the other side of the door, the nervousness starts to subside.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I still get a bit nervous, but it's more a feeling of anticipation. It begins when the make up kit opens, and builds to a crescendo to when I am walking through the doors of the shopping mall. Then it's almost always a couple of wonderful hours wandering and mingling :daydreaming:

[Tranny Tee]

The first time I went out I felt Sheer Terror. My anxiety level has diminished considerably since then. As I leave my hotel room or my house I am a bit nervous, my feelings are a combination of the uncertainity of facing new situations and the anticipation of having a good time. It take only a few moments for the nervousness to go away and I feel mre self assured and confident.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Not me... I am a woman so what is there to get butterflies about???

[Kate Simmons]

I never get nervous being myself, regardless of mode.:)

[Ruth]

I liked Elsa's suggestion of the adrenaline rush similar to going onstage. I feel something like that: not so much nervous as in a way uplifted. It's a great feeling.

[StaceyJane]

I used to be so nervous just to walk out the door.
Nowdays going out just seems fun so I'm not nervous.

[barbara f.]

its a great feeling, but i am still nervous.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

strange, but the first time i went out last year, i had no nerves at all. When i had my make-up and dresss on, my confidence came natural, and its been like that eversince. Going mainstream seemed easy too.......i had no nerves at all.

[Alice B]

Not any more. I usually get in my car and then open the garage door, with tinted windows up. Then once away from house roll down a window , weather permitting.

[NicoleScott]

I never did go out very much, and I go out even less now. Mostly, I just like to make up and dress up, and doing it home alone is fine. But when I go out, I always get nervous, afraid of what might go wrong that would bring embarrassment or harm to me. Call it paranoia if you want, but it's not completely unfounded. The fear can be mitigated several ways: staying in safe places, bringing along makeup remover and guy clothes, keeping the car in tip-top shape, etc.

[andreana2.0]

I have been dressing for a while, since I was about 12 and I have only ventured outside the house a handful of times. Even now its only in the backyard to smoke a cigarette, but WOW what a rush!

[5150 Girl]

More excited than nervous thease days.

[Lucypink]

I still get nervous when getting out of the door, Hotel or Home I always have that tickling in my stomch. But is part of the fun and satisfaction when every thing turns out right.

[KatieV]

Its hard to imagine what going out would be like if I were not nervous about it; I'd rather be perfectly self-confident but that will never be the case. On the other hand, the element of danger, for lack of a better word, can enhance the excitement.

If you are not replused by it, you could trying smoking a cigarette or two; I'm a non-smoker/tee totaler except when en femme; then I find smoking to be calming and a bit sexy, too.

[tricia_uktv]

It doesn't worry me any more and I pretty much go everywhere dressed. I sometimes miss the adrenalin rush I used to have when I left the house though.

[stefanie]

I almost find that perhaps i am more excited than nervous every time....if anything not about people seeing me and questioning but more am i ready, everything in place so to speak. If i am out of town even more so so i do not forget my room key. :)

All said, when i hear that first step in my high heels, the wind on my legs and the door close, its simply just another world and all is at peace.

[stefanie]

I almost find that perhaps i am more excited than nervous every time....if anything not about people seeing me and questioning but more am i ready, everything in place so to speak. If i am out of town even more so so i do not forget my room key. :)

All said, when i hear that first step in my high heels, the wind on my legs and the door close, its simply just another world and all is at peace.

[KatieV]

"All said, when i hear that first step in my high heels, the wind on my legs and the door close, its simply just another world and all is at peace." Perfectly stated.

[jazmine]

OH YEAH I DO!!!!.......what i do to make me go through with it?.....

I tell myself,,,"whats the worst thing that could happen?....I DIE?......and that probably won't happen tonight"

Sounds crazy...but thats what shoves my ass out the door.

[Cheryl T]

Nervous...no....
Anxious with anticipation....YES..

[danica d]

Definitely nervous as I'm not experienced enough to consider going out dresed routine. But the adrenaline and excitement are usually more than enough to offset any jitters!

~D

[AlexisWest]

The only time I get nervous is when I approach a group of boys 13-25ish. I went to the 16th street mall in downtown Denver last Friday night. (the 10th) and got a little nervous then, otherwise I love it.

[linnea]

yes, I still get nervous. Every time I go out, I feel less nervous and more comfortable. One of my strategies to avoid jittery nerves is to make a conscious effort to remember how it has felt on the best of my experiences and keep those thoughts in my head. Another is to ask myself "what's the worst that could happen?" Usually I realize that the "worst" is very unlikely so that's it's going to be better than that. That usually calms me.
And at times, I just stop and take a couple of slow, deep breaths--my mom taught me one. For me it has two effects: first, the extra oxygen settles me; second, it reminds me of my mom and how great a mom she was and how happy I would be if I could share my experience with her.
That's what I do.

[L0vleyme]

I'm only nervous from the time I decide to walk out the door untill I get to my destination. After that its always a great evening and no nerve at all walking back home (go figure)

[dilane]

Not any more. Going out of the door, even if there are neighbors just the other side of the fence, don't bother me. These days, the only time I might get nervous is when I'm in a very busy public place and there are a lot of people up very close to me, like in a crowd. Last time this happened was a busy Saturday afternoon at the King Tut Exhibition at the De Young Museum in San Francisco. Lots of people, teens, families, etc all up close even brushing shoulders with me it was so packed as we walked through the exhibit. I come out of that one ok though. :)

Rachel, I find that kind of close up crowd easier -- everyone's distracted by the close contact with so many people. The most shaky thing for me (and even that is pretty easy now) is walking alongside a line of people with nothing else to do but look at the passers by. Or being in line inside a ladies' room.

[marny]

replied to a thread the other day. travelled for 6 hours with bra and forms, and feet all girled up and not a peep. feel happy to go out!!! :devil:

[Taylermade]

Yes, I still do after all the many ocassions where I have been out and about.

I think for some people they can overcome their nerves, while others like myself, just have yet to overcome.
Even those times when on dates, those who have taken me out have certainly noticed my nerves flaring up too.

[PretzelGirl]

Not yet. I don't get out often enough. I think that even when we conciously overcome all that has bothered us in the past, the body still has a trained response built into it. So even if you get comfortable, it may take that much longer to completely shake the nerves.

[Christy_M]

I only get nervous when I am out of the hosue dressed...every single second I am wearing feminine clothes (including just underdressing) while I am not in the safety of my home...sometimes, I get nervous in my house dressed. Wow, I sound like a train wreck...