Wife/Breasts

[linda allen]

I was kidding my wife about her breasts (she was complaining about her back hurting) and she said "You ought to try carrying these things around all day."

Well, I didn't tell her that that's what I sometimes do when she is away, but how could I have responded to "get the ball rolling" (get to the point where I could dress around her)? Yes, she doesn't know.

[AKAMichelle]

You couldn't respond to that one. You must lay the groundwork before you tell and think long and hard of the consequences. It doesn't always work out but over time it does usually improve but to limited success. There are several posts about how to tell you spouse and you should read them very carefully. Take you time thinking about what will happen before telling her. Also you need to read some of the horror stories about telling a spouse - mine included. It could cost you everything you have, but lying to her can too and getting caught one day.

[MiamiMarie]

How long have you been married?

[Chickhe]

You can now...halloween is coming and you just say, 'you said I should try carrying around some breasts all day so I thought it would be fun to try it...'

[CallMeMeg]

"No problem. Nothing could be easier. I bet I could walk in heels as well as you do too. Too bad we'll never find out."

[dayna_nj]

The only way I was able to tell me girlfriend was force us into a fight about something trivial where I could let it out in the heat of the moment. Otherwise I wouldnt have been able to do it.

She was not happy, but she hasnt left me either, which I was very prepared for. She just wants me to be happy, but I cant do it at home, and I dont want to either, that would be very awkward for me, not something I could ever feel comfortable doing around her.

[Lorileah]

Never a good idea to "come out" when your wife has just made a statement about something she doesn't like on her body....I would have just let that go and responded "But you are beautiful and I love every part about you"

[linda allen]

You couldn't respond to that one. You must lay the groundwork before you tell and think long and hard of the consequences. It doesn't always work out but over time it does usually improve but to limited success. There are several posts about how to tell you spouse and you should read them very carefully. Take you time thinking about what will happen before telling her. Also you need to read some of the horror stories about telling a spouse - mine included. It could cost you everything you have, but lying to her can too and getting caught one day.

I couldn't think of anything to say and you're probably right, there is nothing to say.

I've read the posts. I just don't think that after thirty years together, I can just sit her down and say "Honey, I've been wearing your clothes for thirty years and I thought it was about time to tell you."

I went through two divorces early in life and I don't want to chance it again. It's a life changing experience and I'm far too old to start over. If I get caught, I don't see how it can be worse than telling her ahead of time. I suppose I could blame it on old age.

Thanks for your response.

[linda allen]

Never a good idea to "come out" when your wife has just made a statement about something she doesn't like on her body....I would have just let that go and responded "But you are beautiful and I love every part about you"

I didn't mean to imply that she doesn't like her breasts. She does. It was just a "moment" thing.

[linda allen]

How long have you been married?

About thirty years.

[kimdl93]

I don't think that's the way to introduce your CDing to her....you need to read the sticky note on how to - be prepared. Then think about when, where and how.

[nikkijo]

haloween.... use it

[Tomara]

Hi Linda
If you haven't already read through this it may give you the help and courage that you are looking for if you really do want to share your secret with your wife.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner
It is never a easy thing to talk about but it's a lot easier to be honest and open about your feelings then to hide and wish you could be yourself.
Best of luck to you.
Tomara

[Patty B.]

Been there/done that. Do a lot of reading on how to tell your spouse, gather as much info as you can. After 30 years, it can cost you everything as Michelle said and I think I'll be going down the same road. I can understand why you didn't tell at the start, as I didn't either. Go slow and be prepared, to tell or not, it'll be a personal choice of yours alone. Good luck whatever choice you make or are forced to make.

[tricia_uktv]

Do you absolutely have to tell her? You will be risking a lot after all that time.

[prene]

You can now...halloween is coming and you just say, 'you said I should try carrying around some breasts all day so I thought it would be fun to try it...'

I agree.
For you get forms that you can attach and are heavy.
You should empthyse with her when you are done.

Because if we cd'er had the back of a gg big breasts would be it be a big deal (haha).

Empthyse and enjoy . . . who know what will come out of this?

[Shananigans]

Yeah, I think I am echoing here on don't come out to your wife when she is complaining about female problems. If Ryan had done that, I probably would have thought he was a damned fool for finding removable breasts comparable to having lug them around 24/7/365... Not to mention breast tearing from exercise (ow)...pain in breasts from menstruation...or pain just because your tits hate you and want you to suffer...mammograms...

And, women can be saucy enough that the conversation probably would have turned into that "defensive" route and "you don't really have a clue."

That's not what you're trying to accomplish. And, women can be pretty defensive about...all things womanly.

Get the ball rolling at a time where it seems like she might be having a good day. If I am complaining about my tits...it's just not a good time. Repeat: NOT a good time. It would be equivalent of me not having a tampon and having bled through ever item of clothing I had on and then you pulling one out of your purse, saying, "I always carry one on me. Not only does it help me feel more feminine...but, it's just a good idea in general. Oh, and, btw, I'm a crossdresser..."

Put it this way...back when you were a kid and wanted something for your parents...or, wanted to tell them that you skipped class and got detention...when did you tell them? When they were in a good mood. It's just when everyone is more understanding.

So, mood is important. Weigh out the decision of telling her too. I think it's important to be who you are, but some people on this forum have had horrific experiences.

Do you think she would accept you? Or, would it just bring more pain and further push you into "the closet?"

Also, how you go about telling her is important. Make sure that you are comfortable enough with yourself that you can answer ALL of her questions. Because, we have a lot. We may not know we have a lot right off the bat...but, we do.

[linda allen]

I don't think I was clear about this. She was not "complaining" about her breasts, she is proud of them. She was kidding me. She is a good looking woman with a nice body.

As for bringing up crossdressing after thirty years, I can't see any good comming from that. If she finds out, I'll deal with it then. Thirty years ago might have been a good time but I wasn't doing it a lot back then and I was in a position where if it didn't go well and she decided to spread the word around, it would have been very bad for me. I was somewhat in the public eye at the time.

CDing is not important enough for me to sacrifice a marriage over.

I do appreciate all the thoughts and responses. :)