The person within

[Tiffany Lynn]

I’m not sure how to word this because we're all are in such different places and have such different needs and wants, I’ll word it for my situation and you modify where needed.

The person I share this body with is in control. He decides what I do, and where I’m allowed to go. When I want to go shop he always takes me. When I see something I like, I beg him to get it for me. When it my play time, he sits and watches me. He constantly reminds me how much time I have left, and I need to have my play things put away by then. I’m allowed to use this body about 5 percent of the time. My question to you is what‘s your balance percentage and who's in control.

[Asako]

I'd say "who" is in control changes with my moods. The more serious I become, the more that my "male" side comes out. The rest of the time, it's all female with a few strokes of society's "male imprintment" which makes for a not-so-easily-embarrassed woman who makes all sorts of humorous jokes that leaves people picking their jaws up off the floor. General rule of thumb is if I'm super serious, it's all "male". If I'm laughing, joking around, and having a blast then it's all female.


First joke that came to mind as I started typing my response:I used to be locked up in the funny padded place but the doctor says we're okay now. =)

[Persephone]

I am really sorry to hear that you are a prisoner in your own bod, hun. Letting "him" be in charge is one of the worst mistakes you can make. I know you feel powerless in the face of his masculinity and all of the social reinforcement "he" gets for being "the Man," but you're just going to have to find ways to assert yourself. Maybe hone your feminine wiles and use them on him.

I've been around ever since birth. I worked really hard at being out at first and then, when we were around teenage "he" tried to stuff me in some sort of little box. He got his way for a few years and then I kept working him for just a little more time, just a little . . .

The current estimate is that the body is mine anywhere from 50% to 85% of the time, depending upon the day and what's going on. But I try to be fair -- he gets the rest. I also let him have his turn whenever we're sick. That's fair, isn't it? :battingeyelashes:

[Sophie86]

We're like an old married couple. We always know what the other is thinking, and we even finish each other's sentences. We go everywhere together, and we share each other's things. When there's a decision to be made, we make it together based on what's best for both of us. I'm definitely his better half, though, and he knows it. Wherever he goes, he hears my voice in his head, helping him to be a kinder and more patient person. On the other hand, he's stronger and I don't know where I would be without him to protect me. I don't think either of us could make it without the other, and we love each other too much to ever split up.

[donnalee]

We're like an old married couple. We always know what the other is thinking, and we even finish each other's sentences. We go everywhere together, and we share each other's things. When there's a decision to be made, we make it together based on what's best for both of us. I'm definitely his better half, though, and he knows it. Wherever he goes, he hears my voice in his head, helping him to be a kinder and more patient person. On the other hand, he's stronger and I don't know where I would be without him to protect me. I don't think either of us could make it without the other, and we love each other too much to ever split up.
What she said.

[Tina B.]

We're like an old married couple. We always know what the other is thinking, and we even finish each other's sentences. We go everywhere together, and we share each other's things. When there's a decision to be made, we make it together based on what's best for both of us. I'm definitely his better half, though, and he knows it. Wherever he goes, he hears my voice in his head, helping him to be a kinder and more patient person. On the other hand, he's stronger and I don't know where I would be without him to protect me. I don't think either of us could make it without the other, and we love each other too much to ever split up.

Good answer, I agree with this. for me I just consider it a blend, sometimes mixing to things together, makes it better than either one alone.
Tina B.

[StaceyJane]

I understand how you feel. One step that I have made is to realize that I really am one person. There is no he controling the she or she controling the he. It's just me.

[LitaKelley]

For me it's the other way around.. Since she's come out, she wants to stay out.. She wants to come out more often.. She's taking over not only my body, but my head, and I really don't mind. :) Though, someday she may come out and not want to go back.

[kimdl93]

I'm sorry you feel trapped and controlled by the male part of yourself. I hope you can find the self confidence and resolve necessary to let yourself out of that trap. Afterall, in reality you're the only one there...and its you who are in control.

[kellycan27]

I killed him :heehee:

[Persephone]

I killed him :heehee:

Plead self-defense.

[Marcie R.]

I know the feeling. The person inide my head tells me when to dress in my favourite clothes and keeps pushing me to do it more often. That makes me frightened of my own inner self. I am pushed to take chances even when my wife is asleep in another room. She is totally unaware of "Marcie".

[Frédérique]

I’m allowed to use this body about 5 percent of the time. My question to you is what‘s your balance percentage and who's in control.

We are both in control 100% of the time, but I adjust my effeminate self, in terms of brightness, according to the situation before me. The clothes are merely the outer layer of a reality that goes far deeper – if I am presenting myself as feminine, I’m doing so when my comfort level is high. If I’m in drab, I’m in the shadows, but no less effeminate – I merely seek to preserve what is magical to me, and do so for my own happiness. Think of the concept of a dimmer switch, where I adjust my own transgendered “brightness” as I see fit…

[Bethany38]

For me it's the other way around.. Since she's come out, she wants to stay out.. She wants to come out more often.. She's taking over not only my body, but my head, and I really don't mind. :) Though, someday she may come out and not want to go back.

Wow Lita it is like you are reading my mind. I can really relate. Oh and Kelly you are'nt right:), funny as hell but not right.

[kayegirl]

Not sure about the dimmer switch analagy, but I agree with Frederique. We are both in control 100% of the time, but adjust either my femme or male side to suit the circumstances.
Although I would say that Kaye is the dominant character.

[carolinoakland]

I was always him, but he was never me...

[tanyalynn51]

Its funny to be thinking about this after my answer to my first tg counselor the other day. I told her that Tanya was the real me. He, the guy I have to put on 2 1/2 days to work for a living, and to function at times, is a mask. I fit some of the girly stereotypes, some of the guy ones, but we all know what theyre worth anyway. This is who I am.

[tricia_uktv]

For me it's the other way around.. Since she's come out, she wants to stay out.. She wants to come out more often.. She's taking over not only my body, but my head, and I really don't mind. :) Though, someday she may come out and not want to go back.

That sums it up for me - and she is very close to coming out completely. I once thought the aim was to make my two personnas one but now realise that is impossible and to therefore cherish the differences.

[Jay Cee]

I'm guessing that Jessie comes out about 10% of the time. She does rule the sleeping hours - nighties are mandatory.

I'm predicting that she will become more dominant, once she learns how to put on makeup. :)

[Ruth]

This stuff all sounds weird to me. There is only one person inside my head and that's me. Oh, and I like to wear women's clothes sometimes.

[jessica renee]

I'm me. When I'm in male mode, I still find that Jessica's thoughts and feelings come through, just as my male thoughts somrtimes (although not nearly as often) come through when I'm presenting as Jessica.

[Kelly Blaine]

Well, I am an older CD but I have been dressing for a very long time. I travel and live away from home probably 60% of the time. I find that when I am away. Kelly comes out and lives full time when not at work. I guess, if I was younger and had the great skin and body, I would probably live that way.

[Karinsamatha]

The only reason I keep him around is for work. He is a facade the true me is Karin! I would like to evict him in the future :devil:.
:hugs:

[Danni Bear]

Kel,
Didn't kill him, he just comitted suicide.

Danni

[Sammy777]

I killed him :heehee:

I tried that but it didn't work.... :battingeyelashes:

Although I did get everything in the divorce :heehee:

"Who's motorcycle is this?
It's a chopper baby.
Who's chopper is this?
Zed's
Who's Zed?
Zeds dead baby........ Zeds dead" :lol2:

[Jenniferpl]

Who is in control? I am. Who am I? Jennifer. I am always there making sure he thinks about me. He cannot take his mind off of me and love driving him crazy.

[MichelleL]

I was very confused by this thread. I don't have two people in my head. There is only one and that's me. While I do have to wear a mask for others (work, etc.), that isn't really me and I know it. That is simply the mask I wear because of their expectations. MichelleL isn't really me either. I simply needed a femme name for the forum and chose it. When I think of me, it is my given name that applies. If I were able to go femme all of the time, I think I would still think of myself with my given name rather than the femme name that becomes the mask I would wear in those situations to meet others' expectations.

I yam what I yam (but I do have to wear masks for others)

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Tiffhub,

First, thanks for a VERY interesting thread :)

I cant honestly say who is in control most of the time, but I DO have those female moments that wash over me and they have to be addressed. Its not a physical sort of thing, but mostly emotionally related. My S/O can just about always tell when my brain is in girl-mode. When that time of the month rolls around the both of us are in sync and that makes for some interesting conversations. When out shopping, I too have that inner voice that chimes in when we pass the shoe or dress shop and DEMANDS we go in!. We dont have a problem with one or the other taking over really. Its jsut a matter of taking things moment by moment and not worrying too much about the little things.

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[sometimes_miss]

Its funny to be thinking about this after my answer to my first tg counselor the other day. I told her that Tanya was the real me. He, the guy I have to put on 2 1/2 days to work for a living, and to function at times, is a mask. I fit some of the girly stereotypes, some of the guy ones, but we all know what theyre worth anyway. This is who I am.

I don't have an alter ego. I'm just me. As I feel 'normal' as a girl, basically I, too, feel like I'm playing the part of a male person when I have to go to work or go out in public. I really don't see it as any different than putting on any other type of protective garment that I would have to wear for a good reason, like a rain coat when it's raining, or boots when it snows. So, I just put on male clothing when I go out to protect myself from the pain and aggravation of having to deal with all the small minds out there. No biggie. After all, lots of people have to wear stuff that is way more uncomfortable, like firefighters gear, deep sea diving outfits, toxic waste clean up suits, etc.. So, wearing standard guy shirts, pants, underwear and shoes really isn't that much trouble in comparison. I just look at it as my work clothes.