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jenni_xx
09-15-2010, 07:38 AM
Hi everyone.

I'm not exactly sure where my confidence has come from, but I'm getting more and more confident in regards to expressing my true self while out in public. Although I only go out fully dressed to bars/nightclubs that cater for the transgendered community, when it comes to going out in the daytime, shopping, walking, the usual, I am now combining drab with feminine clothes/accessories. I pretty much wear heels and wedges all the time now, and I'm actually really surprised by just how much people don't notice, or just don't actually care. My feet are now used to walking long distances in heels, which obviously is a huge bonus, and I just love the clicking sound they make on the ground. I also wear feminine trousers and tops with my breastforms, although admittedly, these are usually covered up by my jacket. Accessories include rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings (luckily I have both my ears pierced).

My confidence also extends to trying on things in store while shopping. Because it's clear that I am a man, I do use the male changing rooms when the store caters for both men and women, but have been able to use the female changing rooms in women's only shops, but only when it's quiet. The staff I've come across have all, without exception, been really encouraging and very helpful. This also extends to trying on shoes in the shop. Giving me advice and telling me what actually looks good, what works with what outfit, and what doesn't. One shoe shop - the sales assistant even ordered me a pair of heels in a bigger size when the pair in the shop were just a little too tight - she realised just how much I loved them, and did comment on how good I looked in them. I know first and foremost it's a sale to them, but I genuinely feel as though they are being non-judgemental and accepting, which obviously is something that is very important for us all.

I also get my nails done professionally at a nail salon where I'm now a regular, and they treat me just like they would any other customer. When other girls are in the salon getting their nails done at the same time, their reaction extends from not even batting an eyelid, to a smile, to (the most extreme) them having a little giggle towards me. But never once have I experienced anything that even remotely resulted in me feeling uncomfortable.

Like I said at the top of my post, I'm not exactly sure where my confidence has come from, but I do have to admit that the more I go out partly dressed (I call them my signifiers - nails, shoes, accessories, etc), and the more I barely get a reaction, or even when I do get the occassional double-take (but nothing bad happens), this is only resulting in my confidence levels growing more. I think the underlying point to my post therefore, other than telling you all how confident I'm becoming on a personal level (and how happy that's making me feel), is that in my experience up to date people do seem to be more tolerant (for want of a better word), and even gradually coming to be acceptive towards a transgendered individual.

AKAMichelle
09-15-2010, 08:34 AM
It probably comes from accepting yourself

tricia_uktv
09-15-2010, 08:50 AM
Yay Jenny its far easier than you think and London is a lovely City to do it in. I found bthat the next thing to build after confidence was attitude. I found dancing really helped with that as I could display both my femininity and my new found confidence.

Isn't life great?

Chari
09-15-2010, 08:53 AM
When you are comfortable with yourself, your confidence grows regardless of the "packaging"! Dressing age appropriately for the event and smiling helps too.

lucyUk
09-15-2010, 09:43 AM
I agree, confidence and accepting who you are make a huge difference. For instance I was in London yesterday, popped into Selfridges to visit the MAC counter...asked to see someone about buying some lipstick, i was served and sat down at one of there makeover chairs and tried on a few different shades! I didnt want to pass up the opportunity so asked about other colours and products they may reccomend for my skin tone and tried on a few other things too - it was great fun :), I was in drab so got a couple of looks and a few really nice smiles too. But i felt reasonably at ease about it, i was nervously looking at my phone at times but i started to relax after a few mins. With my new found confidence i then went to the lingerie floor and tried on a few/fitted for some new bras too. All in all a great way to end my day :)

jenni_xx
09-15-2010, 10:24 AM
Absolutely Lucy. I Love shopping in London, and the experiences that I'm discussing in my opening post relate to this City. I have to say, I've not tried the make-up counters... yet! But the confidence that such an experience brings just feels, well, it feels exhilarant to be honest.

lucyUk
09-15-2010, 11:04 AM
Yes I saw that, its cool isnt it? London is such a melting pot for different cultures, people, genders its really cool. I definitely reccomend a trip to a makeup counter, they can give you some great tips and really is alot of fun :)

jenni_xx
09-15-2010, 11:07 AM
Right, you've sold me - I'm off to the make-up counters on friday after my visit to the salon to have a refill on my nails :D

lucyUk
09-15-2010, 11:13 AM
Cool :), good luck, dont be afraid to ask questions and let us know how it goes

jenni_xx
09-15-2010, 11:19 AM
Ok, I will do lucy. x

Emma England
09-15-2010, 01:45 PM
Good for you!!

London must have many transgendered people.