PTSD to an Awakening

[BreenaDion]

I am finding that there is no scientific answer that will satify my mind. As I told my dr that I have to put a label on an issue so I can file it away inside my brain an then move on beyound this or any event. My psychologist suggested that I read Invisible Heroes survivors of trauma and how they heal by Belleruth Naparstek. This book talks about people and the trauma they had to endore. Many different ways to develop PTSD and their symptoms that are associated with it. Only to see how more heinous my mother was and to understand more of how I suffered. Not pleasent to relive the horror over an over again an to add more insult to understanding of my PTSD.
After my Awakening of april of 09 I started to have symptoms surface and some total state of confusion on WHO I AM. This book explains the effects my body and mind had after the result of the trauma I suffered. Then I had a reenactment and flirting with danger on 3 lane highway with my motorcycle.I never had such an experence of that kind in my life. This snap that happened in my head scares me to death. I know I have no triggers to commit suicide, hopeing this isnt one. The more I read the more my symptoms got worse. I had to stop an drop the idea of finding more pain an horror an just work on healing.
I was finding myself as one of the first main charater of this book which they call her Frannie. So eerie similar I did what the therapist had to do just stop the treatment beacause it was making her worse. Focus on relaxation technique rather than conventional therapy. Thus I abandon my quest, also was thinking of retrieving lost memories, instead I will just let this matter die.
Thank you all for your consideration in my plight, I am going to just leave a sleeping dog lie.
Love Bree.

[Ze]

It doesn't sound like you've found an appropriate therapist, but rather the person is pushing you too hard. In the instance such as the book, if it's making things worse as opposed to better, you're supposed to stop reading the book. Period.

It sounds like you need psychiatric aid, however, and hence I encourage you to find a better therapist. If you considered your past a "sleeping dog," then it wouldn't be bothering you in the present. But from what I've seen of your posts, it indeed bothers you, which is why you bring it up so often. So please find a better therapist instead of going solo. It could end up being your most fool-hearty decision.

You can't run from an abusive childhood. If you're over it, then that's fantastic, but then you wouldn't be so easily triggered but something such as a book on the topic. And since it bothers you so much, it shows you need to conquer it; and a knowledgeable therapist is an important tool in that. Abuse survivors can heal, but they can never forget. Trying to push it back down is going to continue to damage you.

[Hope]

Therapy works most frequently by providing a safe place, and sufficient time to experience and process emotions and situations that were to frightening to experience or process while they were happening. One of the side effects of that is that, as we come to terms with issues where we were endangered or abused, we sometimes feel worse than we did when we started. That is a normal part of the process, but not the end point. It's sort of like having a tooth with a nasty cavity pulled - it hurts like the dickens to have done, but feels better after the fact. If you are doing things that are placing yourself in danger, you should tell your therapist about that, and she can help you with that as well. Ultimately, if you do the work, you will get to a point where you feel better about your history, but it is painful work sometimes. No doubt about that.

[BreenaDion]

Nothing wrong with my Psychotherapist or my Phycologist. I agree with my dr cause she told me just to live my life. I was preoccupied with the connections I had with these 2 events. I wanted material so I could gain a better understanding on what im dealing with. That seams to be the problem is conventional therapy will not work for me. I did preform Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on myself when I was only 13 years old. This amazes my dr. I will not seek other therapy, cause I dont need to. I am not alone in all of this I just came to a conscious conclusion that I need to shift gears an not wait months an years to not act on it like what Frannie did. Doctor told me I have no mental illness an Both Psychotherapist and Phycologist remarted how smart an intelligent I am. I noticed I have a problem I seek help untile I can find a right match an is what I did.

I suggest you read the first 146 pages of "Invisible Heroes" and then you will have a better understanding of what I am saying. I wont get negitive but seams alot of people are just not well imformed.

I am proud an happy with my decision an already in one short day I feal a burden lifted off me. I faxed the post I made here to my Gender specialist. Got appointments next week with the both of them. Guided Imagey does work an im back using it again I just motify the sections I use to fit my needs.

Thanks, your opinions are noted and sent out with the breath.

Bree.