Going Commando!

[Kathi Lake]

No, it wasn't like that - I was wearing underwear (a cute pair of Hanes boyshorts). Promise!

As many of you may know, my girl stuff has been locked in a storage unit since around February while we prepare to sell our house as a new one is being built. I'll be truthful - it's been a tough bunch of months! Not being able to "get my girl on" has been almost painful at times. Sure, I have tried to compensate; I have plucked my eyebrows past the "highly-groomed male" stage. I have been using a lash growth serum (review in a few weeks!) in an attempt to grow my paltry lashes. I have been taking very good care of my nails - buffing and polishing my toenails and shaping and buffing my very long fingernails until my wife says, "All right, your nails have been wayyyyyy prettier than mine for far too long. Clip 'em or polish 'em, buster!" (and I know she doesn't mean to go with the polish :)). So, you know, the pressure builds. What's a girl to do when she can't express herself?

Cue to a few weeks ago. I was at Ulta for my once-or-twice-weekly gab and makeup session and the manager tells me about their 21 Days of Beauty event. They'll be giving freebies away, have vendor support, and more. She told me that the Smashbox representative will be there, and had asked about me last time she was in. For those of you that don't remember, she did my eyes with a new Holiday-themed eyeshadow palette last December. I never thought I could wear cranberry eyeshadow with my complexion and hazel eyes, but this lady is good! She was a makeup artist, and even worked on some of RuPaul's Drag Race contestants (she told me I was prettier than some of them. Oh, shut up! :)). Anyway, I signed up for an appointment. Although I knew that I didn't have a wig, or shoes, or clothes, or heck - even boobs - that I had to do this.

Well, Friday came and I was ready! I've been wearing a pair of girl's skinny jeans as my normal jeans for a few months now. I borrowed a top from my wife, my normal guy's Merrell shoes (they kind of look like women's flats) and I was off. I walked into Ulta with my skinny jeans, my women's mock-turtleneck and my short hair and was greeted by the manager as she was giving someone a smoky eye demo. "Cute top" she said. "Well" I said, "In for a penny, in for a pound, right?" She laughed and brought me over to the Smashbox artist. She recognized me and greeted me by name, and asked what we were going to be doing today. I told her that I had just bought their new Masquerade eyeshadow palette, and that I wanted to be able to "bump up" my everyday look with a bit more color. I told her that last time she only did my eyes, but this time she could go nuts and do the whole thing. She smiled at that, and we went to find everything we needed. Here's what I looked like before she began:


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After trying about four foundations, we got a good color match. She started with a tinted primer. She told me that Smashbox was coming out with a new tinted primer that should help us out. It is an orangey-reddish primer that should really help disguise our beard shadow. I jokingly asked her if Smashbox was targeting crossdressers now, and she said that the makeup artists in their development area have done makeup on men - for drag, HDTV makeup and the like, and they knew that it was an area they needed to look at. Cool!

So, after primer, she talked with me about how I usually did my makeup, and how I liked it to look. I told her that I usually went for understated and classy - that I don't like it "caked on." She asked if I usually used a concealer. I told her that I didn't. She said, "Well, we're going to try one today. I want to give you as flawless a finish as possible." She used the concealer and told me to look in the mirror. Wow, my beard shadow was nearly gone. I just may have to start using concealer! About this time, one of my friends stopped by and gave me a jar of her homemade salsa and a peach. She gave me the peach because I had given her a recipe for peaches (she had two bushels!) on Facebook. The oher girls said, jokingly, "Why did you give her salsa and not us." She said, "Cuz I like her better than all of you guys! Besides, us skinny bit**es need to stick together!" (the real reason is that I have been talking with her for months about her marriage, and the benefits of staying together, and giving him another chance to pull his head out. So far, so good).

The Smashbox artist then started on my foundation. She told me each step of the way what she was doing and how and why. She then started on my eyes. About this time, I saw a guy walk past me, stop, then turn and keep walking. Since he wasn't the only one - male or female - doing that, I paid no attention to it. In a bit, he came back with the girl that gave me the salsa. She introduced me to her husband. He said, "I thought I recognized you." I smiled and said that I just had one of those hard-to-forget faces. They went off to lunch after the "nice meeting you's" but as they were leaving, I had my eyes closed so the artist could do my lids, I felt him clasp my shoulder for a few seconds and heard him whisper a thank you. Awwww, I felt like crying on the spot!

Anyway, she went back to doing my eyes. I asked questions like why she alternated sweeping the shadow with pressing (it's easier to build the shadow by pressing), how high is too high for your crease shadow and other things. I also asked her about her upcoming wedding plans - the colors, the dress, all of her plans. It was just great, fun, relaxing girl talk.

OK, as you all know, I like to break up posts when they start getting too lengthy. Right now, I have to go to my new house and dig some trenches for sprinkler lines. I believe life is all about balance. I had my girl time yesterday, now it's time for a little guy time. So, I need to go upstairs, wake my kids, feed them, and off we go. I will post more later, including some more pictures and also talk of what I did after the makeover was done, and also explain the Commando part of the title.

:)

Kathi

[PretzelGirl]

Well, I am sorry I didn't make it. Had a pet emergency and didn't get there until 2:40. I walked around and couldn't find you, so I guess it was all over (unless you turned blonde and got shorter as that was who I saw in the chair).

Sounds like you have some more posting to do. Make-up, lashes, jumping to third for a bit in the contest. For someone not dressing, you are staying pretty busy.

[Kathi Lake]

. . . unless you turned blonde and got shorter as that was who I saw in the chairThat depends. Was [-]she[/-] I pretty? :)

OK, sprinkler trenches are done, with only 117 blisters this time. A new low for me! Usually the only exercise I get is clicking and dragging a mouse, so my hands are usually baby-soft. :)

Back to my story; She worked quite a bit on my eyes. We wanted to try this beautiful jewel-green eyeshadow just below the crease to make my hazel eyes pop. She brushed and she tweaked, swept and glided. She started frowning. I cocked my head to the side and she said, "Well, this won't do." She told me to look in the mirror. Gahhh! Apparently the shadow that looked so pretty in the compact went on as a very dark smoky gray - not green. She said we were starting my eyes over. She got out the Q-Tips, makeup wedges and cleaner and started undoing all of the work she had done for the last 10 minutes on my eyes. Once it was done, we chose another three colors to work with. The colors must've been winners. As she was doing my eyes, people would stop on by and compliment me on the colors. Of course, we were chatting all the while. I just love the rhythm and tempo of "girl talk." It's different from how guys normally converse. It feels so good to just "sink into" it like a comforting bath.

She finished my eyeshadow and we moved onto mascara. I have been using a new mascara from Tarte called Lights, Camera, Lashes! I used to use Smashbox's Lash DNA - loved it - but tried the Tarte and loved it more. As she was putting it on, both she and the manager went "Whoa!" together. Apparently, the lash growth serum has been working. The Smashbox rep asked the manager if my lashes were that long normally (she's done my eyes quite a few times and knows them well :)). "Nope. She said, he's definitely had some growth there." The rep said that she was going to start using it today so she could have lashes like mine in time for her wedding. :)

Now it was time for blush - we went with a soft pink - and bronzer. I loved hr expert touch - so sure and quick. A little lip color and we were done! What a fun time of pampering! Here are a few pictures of the finished product:


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Sigh. Now I need to run my son to the mall to buy a present for his new girlfriend. :)

More later!

Kathi

After thanking the rep profusely (which will be followed up with a wedding/thank you card and a gift certificate to one of her favorite restaurants), and saying my goodbyes, I went out to face the world - commando-style. No wig, no padding, no worries! Now others here have done this before; Magicman and her skirts, etc. - but not me. I felt kind of naked and exposed, hence the Commando part of the title. For instance, as I was up front in Ulta paying, two teenage girls were there as well. One looked at me, looked away, and then her neck snapped back. She "unobtrusively" held her cell phone to her mouth while leaning over to whisper to her friend. I was ready. As her friend turned towards me, I had the largest, most charming smile just waiting for her. They both smiled back. Situation defused. I told the girls at the register that I was off to do a little shopping. They said it was good to hear that from me - finally. I guess they missed hearing about my trips too. :)

My first stop was a gas station for a cold drink. I walked in and sauntered over to the fountain, filled up my mug and walked to the counter. I got a cheerful "Hi! How ya doing?" from the girl at the counter. I told her that I was actually doing really well today, and that I couldn't put my finger on why. I said that maybe it had to do with my makeover. She laughed said that yeah, she was going to ask me about that. She wanted to know what foundation I had used, and said that I looked very pretty. I told her the name of the foundation and we chatted a bit more about how much fun makeovers were and I was out the door.

Next stop was Robert's Wigs. It's where I got my first wig, and the owner there is soooo super nice! I walked in and she told me that I had just missed a man from Texas and his friend (from her description, a post-op M2F) buying a wig. Bummer! Ah well, I told her that my wig was getting a little old and wanted to see if she had another in stock. She didn't, but said she could order it in. Since I was there, we decided to try a few different wigs on.

First, we tried a cute angled wedge. A friend who does my hair (and used to work at Ulta) told me that my face was just made for a cute wedge. It was a bit light, but very, very cute. The bangs were great, and the shorter hair just gave me a pixyish bounce. The owner sat i the chair next to me and we had about five minutes of girl talk about he family, her business, etc. She likes to be with the person to see how they "live" in the wig and how it fits their personalities first. After that one, she tried a beautiful long curly one. Like my first wig, I just love long hair. The soft waves cascading down my back and framing my face just make me feel pretty. We chatted some more. She said, "OK, I think we've found a winner! I asked which one. She said "the one you have on right now." I asked about the wedge. She said, "The wedge is very cute on you, and you would look fabulous in it, but the longer one is who you are. The shorter one is who you're trying to be." Good advice.

Well, I told her that I would be back in a mont or so for the wig as until we move I have no place to keep it. I thanked her for the visit, and told her about the Ulta event after the third time she complimented me on my makeup. She said she might just close early and go as she was due for some pampering. :)

I left the wig shop and, having a little bit of time left, went to one of my favorite boutiques where I saw a very cute top last week when I was getting my hair done at the salon next door. More in the next post, ladies.

:)

Kathi

As I pulled into the boutique, I wondered what kind of reception I was going to get there. The owner is always fabulous with me, as we're the same size and she knows what looks good on "our tall, skinny little boy bodies." Well, the owner wasn't there that day. Instead, it was a twentysomething girl I had never seen before. As I walked in, her eyes got a little bigger, but she held her composure well. There were a couple of other ladies browsing the racks. We made eye contact, and smiled at each other, but that was it.

I found a top that I had seen the week before when I was getting my hair done, and grabbed one to try on. That's when I saw a cute ruffled top and shrug in the window. I asked her if she had a medium, and she looked in the back. Sure enough, she came out with one. Yay! I took my goodies into a tryon room, and changed. First, I tried the top and shrug. I went out to the three-way mirror and turned to see how it looked in the back. The SA came by and said that it really showed off my assets - she really said that. :) My BS detector was pinging gently as she kind of had that cheerleader smile - the mouth is smiling, but the eyes are dead. It was kind of cute. My thoughts on it? Eh. As I told her later, "It looked cuter in the window." Next, I tried on a off-white cami that stopped with a bit of lace at the hip and a translucent harvest gold top with rhinestones and long sleeves - long enough for my apelike arms at that!

I walked out to the mirror and waited for another woman. She was kind of hemming and hawing about the fit. It was a pretty dove gray cardi with ruffles in the front. I told her that it looked great, showed her how that shoulder seams were fine, reminded her that she was going to wear it open anyway, and told her it draped really well in the back. She was getting encouragement from the SA as well, but in her hollow little way. I had had enough of smarmy girl, and she wasn't in love with the sweater, so I (quietly) reminded her that a color like that was best for Spring or Winter anyway. She agreed, and let me have the mirror. She told me that the color was perfect on me, and that I was lucky to have such a cute shape. I thanked her and asked the SA how she thought it looked. This time, she was more honest. I guess I had passed some sort of test in my interactions with her and the customer, and now she was treating me much more normally. She told me in a much less guarded way that the top was really cute on me, and that she had one in a different color and loved it. Although it was cute, and she was honest about how it looked, I still wasn't in love with it. So, my score was 0 for 2 for this trip. Ah well, they can't all be winners. :)

So, I left the boutique and went back to Ulta. Since my makeover was at 1:30, and it was now nearing 4:00, it was time to change back to my boring total-guy self, rather than the pretty-guy look I was doing today. I walked back into Ulta and said hello to everyone. They asked me what I bought, and seemed stunned that I didn't find anything. "You always come back with the cutest stuff!" they said. I chatted with them for awhile. The manager was doing an older ladies' eyes. The color looked good on her and I told her so. She thanked me and said that my makeup looked fantastic. I thanked her and she said, "No. I mean it. You really look beautiful." I thanked her again, and she asked the manager if she should add a bit of the plum color to bring out her eyes, and keep using her normal eyeliner. I said that I wouldn't use the plum because her eyes were pretty deep-set already, and that the lighter shadows really opened up her eyes. I also said thatif she used a liner that she should go light on the top, line only the outer-third of her lower, and smudge it a bit. Otherwise, she would really close up her eyes. She looked at the manager and the manager said,"What he said. Exactly! Heck, she should be running the place!" (yes, she used both pronouns. Not sure why).

The lady left and I talked with the manager awhile. I said, "I wonder what she'll say about me. Heck, I wonder what all the customers say about me." She said, "You know, no one has said anything bad. Most are pretty complimentary. Quite a few think you work here. There was one lady that you had helped with the facial scrubber who made it a point to talk about you at the register. She asked if you were an employee here. When I told her that you weren't, she said that we should hire you as from the minute she walked in the door, you made her feel welcome and were very professional." The lady then said something like "I don't know what it is about him. He didn't strike me as a guy, you know? He just has a different vibe about him." I smiled at that and asked the manager what the Ulta girls said about me when I was gone. She smiled and said "Usually something like, "Did you see her? God, I hate that skinny little bit*h." :)

Well, I told them that it was time to wash the girl off. They laughed at that and said that I was going to need a lot more than soap. I asked what they meant. They said, "You doofus, don't you know that your girl goes much deeper than makeup?" I smiled and told them that I was beginning to suspect. They told me to go change back into a pumpkin, so I did. After I washed everything off, all I was left with was the scent of my perfume, and the wonderful feeling of rightness that had pervaded these last few hours.

So, how did I feel going out with no wig, padding, or accessories? Vulnerable, honestly. When I dress, I usually go all the way so as to blend into my surroundings. Going like this, I felt that I had a much bigger target on my back. It was quite obvious quite quickly what side of the gender divide I was on with only makeup on the feminine side of the ledger. My experiment in "going commando" was interesting, but not I see myself repeating soon. It was fun, but not as freeing as a normal outing. There was a feeling of looking over my shoulder and nervousness that is usually not a part of my thoughts during an outing. All in all, it was like eating at McDonalds instead of a nice restaurant - filling, but not fulfilling.

What do you ladies think? Is this something you would try?

Kathi

[Sarah Doepner]

Kathi,

It takes all I have to go out fully ready for combat. You are one of a kind and I doubt you will find me trying to get my girl time in like you just did. You are amazing, keep raising the bar and telling these stories.

[DianeDeBris]

And Kathi does it again!! I so admire you and your strength in being who you really are, no matter the circumstances. You will never know how much courage you give to so many others! Hugs -- Diane

[Sara Jessica]

You never cease to amaze me Kathi, finding opportunity after opportunity from your self-imposed (out of necessity, of course) exile from feminine presentation.

Not to hijack your thread at all but your story reminds me of the one and only time I've "gone commando" as you describe. It was actually a cold & rainy December evening in 2006. I was on my way down to San Diego to reacquaint myself with the Neutral Corner support group and wanted to pick up a new foundation before I got ready so I stopped at UTC in La Jolla. I was wearing jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. The SA at Lancome was very sweet and while doing a color match, she said "why don't we just do a complete makeover". So of course I took her up on her offer and when finished, the challenge was to get back to my car at the other end of the mall. Where you would have walked proudly through the mall, I took the chicken way by walking (ok, running sometimes because of the rain) around the perimeter.

Back to the original programming, BTW, regarding the "pressing" technique for eyeshadow, that also works well with some foundations if they are buildable. Prescriptives made one that was and the pressing/dabbing worked really well for small areas which might require a little more coverage.

Great tale Kathi, I am probably looking forward to you being able to take the girl back on the road as much as you are!!!

[Kathi Lake]

Honestly ladies, as I've always maintained, I don't know how much is due to bravery, and how much is due to stupidity.

Sara, thanks for the pressing comments. It's a new technique for my bag o' tricks.

:)

Kathi

[Christie ann]

Once just last summer I was on a trip by myself. I went into a mall and sat down in the chair and asked the make up ladies all kinds of questions and they did a complete makeover, while in definite guy mode. (The only funny look I got was from a young girl who was with her mom.) I told the make up ladies that I was all set to stay in the make up for the rest of the day...and I did. It was awesome!

[SherriePall]

Kathi -- What are we ever going to do with you? I would have fainted the moment the first person looked at me.

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi -- What are we ever going to do with you? I would have fainted the moment the first person looked at me.Nah. No fainting necessary. It was fun! Were there people looking at me? Sure. From the guys, I got mostly looks. A few would "slyly" pretend to read a box of something while they were making sure that the person in the makeup chair was actually a guy. From the women? Mostly smiles. A few comments (nice ones). Was the pink fog driving? Nope. I was clear-eyed and clear-headed the entire time. Overall, a nice experience.

Was the store about 10 miles from my house? Yes. Have I met people that I know there? Yes as well. It all came down to a very guyish mindset. I had something I wanted to do. I planned it. I did it. Problem solved.

:)

Kathi

[jessica renee]

Sounds like a really good experience.

[Kathi Lake]

Sounds like a really good experience.It was, actually (go figger! :)). I went back to Ulta today to see what was said about me - if anything.

The older lady who I was talking about eyeshadow with apparently kept raving about me after I left. Apparently, she had never seen anything like me in all her years. She couldn't get over how comfortable I seemed standing in the middle of the store in makeup (and how good it looked on me). It's odd how some people know that there are mentally handicapped people around and about, but can't seem to recognize one standing in front of them. :)

I talked to the woman whose husband met me for the first time in the store during my makeover. His response? "He's tiny! He looks much bigger on Facebook." Nothing about a guy getting a makeover in a crowded store. Nothing about the clothes I was wearing. Very, very odd.

So, do you think that maybe people don't care how we dress or present ourselves? :)

Kathi

[Loni]

were and how did the word commando get to mean no undies??

[Kathi Lake]

where and how did the word commando get to mean no undies??It's from the old Scottish, "Comen-du" which means (loosely-translated), "Ach! It's a wee bit drafty under this kilt without me knickers!"

:)

Kathi

[Loni]

..............ok.


.

[Nick2Nikki]

Kathi, you are a role model for us all--I wish that I was as comfortable talking with other women as you are! Plus, that makeup looks fabulous on you!

-Nikki

[Kathi Lake]

..............ok.I did mention that it was loosely translated, right? I just didn't say how loose.

;)

Kathi

[Loni]

well with no undies on, things will be loose....

[Kathi Lake]

well with no undies on, things will be loose....Good! I wondered if anyone would catch that.

:)

Kathi

[Andrea's Lynne]

Love this post, Kathi (and ALL your posts). You are my heroine!!

[insearchofme]

What wondeful posts. Whether you consider yourself to be brave or not to a lot of us you are. Keep having fun and even in guy mode you're a such a cutie!