RSVP For a meet up

[Lucy_Bella]

I took that step to get out:straightface:.... RSVP to meet with some ladies at a nightclub, the venue featured a drag show...I did that last night , got up for work late this morning the day ended up to be very long and worked extra O.T. with out much sleep last nite.

Got home checked the Meet up site noticed that the club was going to be packed!!
It was switched to a wait list ( very popular venue ). So I decided to cancel my first time going out to a public place with the ladies from my meet up group.. I fell asleep instead:eek: for 4 hours!!

I told the ladies maybe nextime as to I have never been out in public and sounded like I was going from isolation to very extreme .. Was that a bad Ideal should I have gone instead of being a chicken? I'll never get out maybe it was meant to be.

[Presh GG]

Hi Lucy,

Are you a night-club person in drab? You just don't strike me as one.

Is this the norm for this club? If so, it may not be the right club for you.

We belong to a tg social group that has something going on every week, even if it's just bowling,and yes, afterwords some of the gals are going danceing... but how in the world will you get to know your new friends if you can't hear yourself think over the music, let alone talk?

Are there other venues for this club or is it all nightclubs?
On [in?] your next call , maybe ask about dinners/cafes/ movies/ home/church meetings. If "clubing" is all they offer , I'd look for another club.

Hope I'm makeing sense,
Sincerely
Presh GG

PS,
I wouldn't be caught dead in a drinking scene, dressed or not. I'd be terrified and I'm a GG!

[Lucy_Bella]

O h Presh,
Of course you are making sense , you are the sanity in my currupt world..lol..

Yes they do other things , we have a Dennys here that they call Denices because all the ladies go there also after clubbing.. The Club... Is a Gay bar for the most part.. So yeah.......... Anyways the owner is a CD'er and welcomes us with open arms..I mean why not?
But they do other things like rent a house for a day and have parties etc..etc.. But I just joined and these folks are still new to me..Don't get me wrong they welcomed me with open arms as they still are today..The support is there..

One of the things that concerned me as I was getting info for the safe place to dress before clubbing was one of the staff who sets up the safe dress place email was " backdoorsex" That to me was ...well .. never mind you decide.. Anyhow the club was packed it did have a dance area in the bar and the Ladies did go ..I just chickened out..

[sterling12]

You get to determine what makes you comfortable. Just be careful that you don't start looking for any little excuse not to go. Remember, Like He said in The Music Man: "Oh Miss Marion if you keep putting things off until tomorrow, all you end up with is a lifetime of yesterdays."

I think that's a Rumor about "back door sex," and I think you ought to treat it that way. Short of Rape, with a threat on your life, nobody can make you do anything you don't want to do! If your really concerned, get one of The Gurls to go with you, but I'll bet it's a bunch of BS, and you have no trouble. I really doubt you would get hassled in The Dressing Room, The Owner has no desire for a Lawsuit!

But, here's The Good Thing out of this Episode...learn from it, and realize that Tomorrow Morning is The First Day of The Rest of Your Life. Next Weekend....GO! When The Evening Out is done, you will no doubt mentally kick yourself for procrastinating. Bet your think, "Wow, look what I've been missing. Gosh, look at all of My Lost Opportunities that I've squandered!"

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Lucy_Bella]

Sterling,
Thank you, That first step is always the hardest... So much goes through your mind , all the " what if's"...Like what if I get there meet these people and I don't like em? Meaning we all just stare at the wall with no conversation , Ice breaking chit chat here and there but stuck with strangers in a Gay bar emulating females.. Hmmm.. Yeah.. I know boo hoo ...

But I have to be a man get my undies out of a twist and step out ..Your post was so helpful Thanks.. Oh I, at one time wished there was a pill I could take to end my dressing desires...I am so happy I no longer feel that way.. Would you know by any chance if there is a pill that you can take to get rid of THE PINK FOG?

[sterling12]

One last Reply, and I call it a Night. You WON'T be bored, but to have maximum fun, you will be expected to open your mouth and start talking. The only Gurls I ever saw that ever had trouble, are the very shy ones who are afraid to speak to people. If you "barricade" yourself back in a Corner, if you don't take The First Step, stick out your hand, and start talking to Folks, it can be a Long Evening. Expect Nothing from The Other Person...it's up to you to show friendliness.

The Pink Fog, waxes and wains. You will find it much more "controllable," as you spend more time out and about. But, it's always there, someplace in The Background; and you will find that there are always situations or circumstances that bring it instantly, right into The Frontal Lobes of your Mind. Joanie has worked very hard at perfecting a feminine walk. Saturday Night, I attended a New Club down in St. Pete, and got right in The Middle of The Crowd exiting The Rays Game. As I'm "prancing" through The Parking Lot, swinging My Backside, it dawns on me just how Gurly I feel, how much I enjoy "strutting my stuff," how "Free" Joanie feels, and how much she enjoys it! I would call that "Instant Pink Fog," and I think that each and everyone of us gets these moments of sudden adrenalin rush no matter how long we've been out.

So, The Simple Answer is: "Nope, there really ain't no pill, and it never goes away." However with Time, it becomes more controllable, and as you work toward self-acceptance your learn to welcome your Special Little Moments of "Pinkdom." It all gets Better!

Peace and Love, Joanie

PS. To beat The "What-Ifs," think of each new situation that's coming at you as a Challange. I believe all challanges are beatable, and we just need to apply the right solutions. If you don't share much in common with your Meet-Up Folks, well there are other people at That Bar. Gay people don't bite, they don't neccessarily want to "make" you, and you often find interesting conversation. I imagine you won't have any problem "fitting in" with your new Friends, but there are always "Alternative Solutions." Inotherwords, a New Challange.

[CallMeMeg]

Lucy, there's a local DC group that I belonged to but never met with ~ it seemed like hooking up was... not discouraged. I'm not going to say what's right or wrong, but I know what's wrong for me and it didn't feel right. I've had admirers want to date and I don't like the pressure and the firm no (sometimes, many firm 'no's') that are required.

There's another local group that seems more into getting out for a night with the girls. They also meet in a gay bar with a drag show, but I'm seriously trying to find the right date to join them ~ they seem more like my kinda ladies!

[Tina B.]

Lucy, I think you did exactly the right thing. The first outing with a bunch you are just getting to know can be stressfully enough. Try doing it when you are not so tired, and I think I would try Denny's first, not much sex going on at Denny's, not in mine town anyway. A bar, dancing, and men looking for men, you did say it was a gay bar, might be just a little to much pressure to handle the first time out. Now after you have been out a time or two, it could be the most fun place in town. And remember, going out is like coming out, it has to me when you are comfortable with it.
Tina B.

[Lucy_Bella]

Tina and Meg..
Exactly! I mean once out you are down the unknown and for me that's a risk. I live in a large metro area with well over 4 million people. Although not as big as New York or LA ,I literally watched this place grow for the past 30 years.. So I know many people , yes the chance of running into someone to or from the bar is small but there is one, and if I run into them at the bar who cares, right?

But a couple of you hit on " it's a Gay bar " not that anything is wrong with that maybe I could get lucky and hook up with a Lesbian . But what does worry me is drinking and Tranny Chasers along with meeting strangers alone. I think I will continue communicating with these folks on the site and maybe meet at a lower keyed place before going to a bar such as that.

[AllieSF]

Hi Lucy. You have gotten some great advice already and I will add a little, or a lot, of mine. I have been to many gay and lesbian bars, with and without drag shows. I have never been hit on seriously and have always had a great time talking to "everyone". I have also ever had a negative reaction from anyone there. I think they are a great place to go out for the first time because in essence everyone is accepted there including straight guys, girls and couples. Also, since this specific club has a CD owner, what more can you ask for? That being said, you should only go out when you are ready, and looking for a quieter night may be a good idea, but remember that on a crowded night you will really blend in and disappear into the crowd. Normally, if the bar is big enough you will find a spot to talk almost in normal voice levels. I would also recommend that you communicate more with the group so that maybe you can find someone that you are comfortable with and who can answer all of your questions and maybe v]back you up on your first night out. They had their first night out jitters and fear too, so they should be more than willing to help you out there. She may also know of a secure place to change, or at least clarify the 'back door sex" item. I think that you would have been fine changing there because they would not do anything that may jeopardize them and the services that they offer. I would also check out the club as a guy, maybe on the night that your CD girls go there. No one will bother you. Have a beer and talk with the bartender. That will help you feel much more comfortable when you go there en femme. Good luck and enjoy life, because it is the only one that we have.