Do you feel you are a better man for due to being in touch with your feminine side?

[BRANDYJ]

I wonder if any of you feel that your being transgendered, specifically a Crossdresser, that you are in fact a better man for it?

I do. I think being a CD and in touch wit my feminine side has made me more understanding, more gentle, more open, more compassionate, and even more forgiving then most non-crossdressing men seem to be.

It's like those nurturing, softer and gentler qualities that GG's seem to be born with have been born out of my transgendered state of mind.

I don't mean that I am not rid of those male thought processes that most were raised with. I do have my macho side when needed. I also have that protective instinct towards those I love and feel I wold die for my SO if I had to in order to save her. So it's not that it has taken away my manliness, but I think I've gained some of those female traits that I have always admired about women...staring with my own mother.

Anyone else feel this way?

[suzy1]

As a man I think I am a nice person but I do have a bit of a short fuse.
Now if I am to be honest I would have to admit that tends to transfer over to Suzy and she can become a bit of a bitch………………but a nice one!

SUZY

[Freddy12]

I have found that I'm less likely to get into a confruntation when enfemme. Perhaps that's because I don't want to be read, but I have also found that it has transferred to when I'm in male mode also.

[Steph.TS]

I'm a better person for allowing my views and beliefs to be challenged, it's allowed me to come closer to accepting myself and others, I hope to be more open and accepting in the future.

[Alice B]

With out question and my wife would agree.

[Kathi Lake]

Not just a better man, but a better father and a better husband.

Kathi

[Kiera79]

Yes it has made me better all around and my SO would also agree. I can relate to all kinds of issues that i could not have previously done so. In my male side I am more understanding and try to read a bad situation and make the best of it.

[Kaz]

I am most certainly a better person, and I feel that I am more understanding of many things on many levels - however it may be that this is why I CD? Chickens and eggs come to mind!

Am I a better MAN? My SO would not agree with this, as I would appear to have lost or at least diminished certain classic male traits that she "wants" in a partner. Ironically, I maintain certain traits that she finds irritating in the extreme. Bugger! It is a technical English (and I use the term as a native Englishman) expression for extreme flabbergastedness (another English term)! So I lose the stuff she wants and I emphasise the stuff she doesn't!

And the answer to the question is... I am very comfortable with who I am. I am not sure what a better "man" is... my interpretation of this concept does not agree with that of my SO and most other GGs, who would rather have a "normal" guy... warts and all!

Kaz xx

[ArleneRaquel]

Most certainly, but I am man less than 10% of the time nowadays. :)

[Loni]

i do not know if a better "man", but yes to a better person, and most any real girl i have dated could say a better man to them, but that is cause i understand a woman better than a non cross-dresser can. and how many men would ever go shopping with there lady...and like it?

but as a man or as a woman my fears are about the same....maybe, my likes and dis like are the same. i am the same person in both modes. just one goes places in jean's and a T-shirt all grubby. the better half try's very hard to look good in a skirt/dress.

i am just...me.

.

[Melissa in hose]

My wife feels that it makes me a better husband-we are able to realte on a different level than a lot of her girlfriends and their husbands. I enjoy shopping with her and look forward to shoe shopping with her. I think I like it more than she does.

[Krysta]

Yes I think it has made me a better man, when i couldnt crossdress in college because i had 4 roomates i was a pretty angry depressed person, but now that i can dress and get the warm fuzzy feelings/stress relief from crossdressing I think it has made me a calmer happier person in general. and since i spend most of my time as a normal male, yes it has made me a better man and husband. I am more aware of my wife's need to get pampered and how to be a good listener.

[Jill]

Excellent question, good topic. I guess that depends on your definition of what it means to be a "man" and what it means to be a better one. I've put a lot of thought into this lately, what it means to be a man and the existence of male and female traits in each person. Some might argue that being a man means that you watch a lot of sports, drink a lot of beer, get in fights, driving a big truck, lifting a lot of weights etc etc etc. This is not my definition of being a man or being a superior man. In my opinion, the people who think that's what it means to be a real man or be a superior man are horribly misguided.

I believe that each person whether male or female has both male and female traits within them. I found better balance and happiness in my life when accepted and embraced the positive male and female traits inside of me. This doesn't necessarily have much to do with crossdressing specifically, but yes, I believe that accepting and embracing feminine tendencies brings balance to my life. I love my male side and my female side, I love being in guy mode and I love being in girl mode. I don't think we should be afraid of our male sides or being a man because even though those macho men are a totally bogus misrepresentation of masculinity, males have excellent, amazing qualities, just like women do.

[Kathryn Martin]

I have real trouble answering this question. I consider myself a transgendered person, and have always been the way I am just not dressed as a woman. So in this sense I am not a better man for dressing like a woman. I always felt that I was a better man and life partner because I was deeply braided into my feminine side. I also have protector instincts yet they have not made me less feminine.

Kathryn

[Christy_M]

Not just a better man, but a better father and a better husband.

Kathi

Amen, Sister...my wife would agree, too. When I didn't dress for a long time, I emotionally disengaged from my family for either depression or guilt or something. Now that I have started again and my wife knows, I am more in tune with the family unit and participating more than ever in the goings on in my house. I am me, now and before I was hiding from who I was becoming...I know it's complicated but it is as it is.

[Jay Cee]

A better man? Nah. A better person? I'm hoping so.

[Kara Connor]

Definitely, but not just because I now enjoy shopping with my wife, can relate better, have made some great friends in the TG community that I never would have, but because I am way happier in myself now that Kara gets to go out.

[BRANDYJ]

First, I want to thank all of you that have responded. I get it when some of you said it makes you a better person, not a better man. So let me explain why I said "better man" and not a better person when I posed my question. I meant better then men that do not cross dress or have not embraced their feminine side. Better then those males that tend to think of women as mere sex objects and lesser of a person then males. You all know the stereotype I'm talking about. I have a deep respect for women as well as my deep admiration of them. When we talk of strength, the only way a man is stronger then a woman is in shear muscle. I feel women are stronger when we talk about matters of the heart and all the hell they put up with in raising children and taking care of their families. Not to mention what some put up with from males that think of women as second class citizens still today.
I hope I'm conveying my thoughts in a way that you understand what I'm trying to say. True, I am less of a macho man due to my being transgendered. But since it has made me respect and admire women so much more then many so called macho guys, otherwise called "bad boys" , I am happy and proud I am not one of them in my care, concern and love of women in general. I feel it has made me more romantic and gentle in almost every part of my life with everyone. And yes, a better person as well as a better man, friend, lover and partner to the woman that loves me as I love her.
Oh, I also like to watch Chick flicks instead of shoot em up action movies. So that comes from my romantic and or feminine side I would assume.:daydreaming:

[sandra-leigh]

I meant better then men that do not cross dress or have not embraced their feminine side. Better then those males that tend to think of women as mere sex objects and lesser of a person then males. You all know the stereotype I'm talking about.

In that case, I would have to say NO.

I was a teenager in a feminist household during the peak of "first wave feminism" in the 70's. Even if I had never cross-dressed, I wouldn't have adhered to those stereotypes. Many males grew up to respect women; I don't think that I am "better" than them because I cross-dress. I don't cross-dress to make ideological points or to impress anyone: I do it for me.

[OccasionalSkirt]

I would say yes, but not a lot. I understand more about how my wife and other women live, but I don't think crossdressing has made me any less manly. I still enjoy all the stuff I do as a guy (hunting, fishing, benching weights, etc.), just I allow myself to also enjoy putting on makeup and dressing up.

[Lucy_Bella]

I will agree with the above post ..But in the real world....No I don't...Real men are not sensitive or as often..I was watching where the Red Fern grows the other day...What the hell is that all about? I felt like crying when that stupid kids dogs died!!! I have never been such an emotional person and thats not good when your a man.. It makes you weak !! Gawd !! I hope I ain't turning into a Sissy..

[suchacutie]

It may be easier for us who came to this later in life, after being "only" male for many years. Frankly, I was amazed by what I didn't know and didn't even know could exist from the feminine perspective. Of course the obvious comes to mind of the dressing and makeup and generally dealing with a body from a different perspective, but I'm also referring to the emotional and psychological issues. I almost never felt "vulnerable" as a guy, but I was shocked by how vulnerable it felt to be dressed as a woman in front of my wife for the first time.

How can we not all be better people for the knowledge and experience we have in truly wanting to learn about and "be" feminine? I've had a number of small smiling moments wondering if in the future women will expect men to be able to be transgendered? Interesting thought, no? :)

tina

[Tina B.]

I agree with Sandra-Leigh, except I grew up in the fifty's with a mother that was ahead of her time. She didn't know she was a feminists, but she was. I have two brothers that as far as I know, are not cross dressers, and they both always had just as much respect for women, as I do. Outside of knowing how to put an outfit together, or understanding why it takes so long to get ready to go out, I'm not sure how much insight it has giving me. I am a better person because I cross dress, but that's just because I'm such an a** when I don't. But a better man, no I don't think so. I'm no better as a provider, not worth a darn at home repairs, and I can't teach a kid to throw a ball very good because I can't do it myself. At times I'm sure my wife wishes I was a better man, and not just a better person.
Tina B.
Tina B.

[Sarasometimes]

Not just a better man, but a better father and a better husband.

Kathi
Me too! I am in a macho field and the guys who, I doubt are in touch with thier feminine side, ( I May be very wrong about this) are disrespectful of thier wives, lie and cheat on them, and say inappropriate things in front of thier kids and frequently drink to excess. No me! Also I have taken care of my two kids when they have been really ill in a way many would think a mom would do it. I managed to buy my wife a handbag (She loves it), bras and jewelry making supplies for her birthday. Now granted she isn't privy to Sara existence but I think she may have suspisions. Sara

[JulieC]

I wonder if any of you feel that your being transgendered, specifically a Crossdresser, that you are in fact a better man for it?

My wife certainly thinks so. She appreciates many femme aspects of me, and is ever glad that I _don't_ have certain male aspects. She says I am much more of a real man than the typical 'male'.

[BRANDYJ]

My wife certainly thinks so. She appreciates many femme aspects of me, and is ever glad that I _don't_ have certain male aspects. She says I am much more of a real man than the typical 'male'.

She has a point. Now if we separate the words REAL and the MAN, ya might say that we are more real for being true to ourselves and not shun feelings of being more gentle, honest and communicative. I never understood exactly what is meant by being a real man anyway. Ask 10 men and women and you will have many different descriptions of just what a real man is. Let's see....I am very real and last time I checked, I am a man, so I must be a real man.

I guess I see many so called real men as being afraid to express anything that would make them seem less manly or gay. They have to protect that macho image therefore they shut out or dismiss feelings and emotions that otherwise would make them a better partner.

[JulieC]

Let's see....I am very real and last time I checked, I am a man, so I must be a real man.

I agree with all that you said, but thought it funny to highlight this and respond "Well, I have an orange and an apple together so I must be have an orapple! Or is that Applange? :)

[Samantha_Smile]

I must say, dressing does help me to unlock my feminine side. Obviously more when dressed, but it has shown me that I dont have to be a blokey bloke all the time.
THis in turn does help me to relate to the oposite sex more easily.
Im almost certain that it has facilitated a stronger relationship between me and my fiance, as it has given me the gift of prolonged stress reduction, and lower stress helps me communicate with her more fluently about my feelings day to day.

Better man? Well deffinately a more complex one, thats for sure :D

[tealannette]

absolutely!