Phallocentrism – let’s talk about it…

[Frédérique]

So, I’m all shaved and bathed, ready for my long-anticipated plunge back into all things femme, and…something keeps getting in the way, physically AND mentally. It has a mind of its own, it’s something I have to work around, and it demands my undivided attention. I can only circumvent this intense gravity well by using all my strength – I use my inherent femininity to repel unwanted masculinity. Is he gone? Is it safe to NOT come out? Ah, that’s better…:whew!:

I’m not going to discuss phallocentrism in a Freudian sense, nor am I going to talk about the phallocentric world we find ourselves living in – I’m interested in its close relationship with MtF crossdressing, specifically the suppression or enhancement of the body part in question. Do you dress for sexual excitement, or for suppression of sexual thought? Maybe you do neither…:thinking:

There are many times when I think how interesting it is that I’m a crossdresser in the first place. I mean, I inherited my father’s over-the-top masculinity, phallocentrism oozing from his every pore, a human being who channeled his libido into useful labor-intensive activities. He was sufficiently in control, strong yet gentle, coarse yet fair, a barely-contained sexual volcano. I am his only son (born late in life – oops!), and, like all good students, I learned all I could and then improved on the example of my teacher. I need to get away from the power of my inherent maleness and seek out a calm space – the more I do this, the better I feel, and the more “me” I become, at least a “me” I like being with…

The idea of Onanism doesn’t attract me; in fact the very opposite of that spurious activity imbues me so completely at times that I cannot even take a dainty step without being overcome by some primordial urge welling up inside me. It has to get out, don’t you know, so it shall, with an attendant feeling of helplessness. Pleasurable, of course, but only in a fleeting sense. When phallicism demands my immediate attention, it’s impossible to crossdress, for me at least, in fact it lays waste to all the delicate feminine feelings I cherish…:sad:

I may be the only one here who dresses to actively suppress sexual thought, and I’m quite good at it. I can go for days and days, as if in a trance, skipping merrily along en femme, forgetting all about you-know-who. I can push the offending member out of sight, snug as a bug in a rug, for the benefit of the beautiful undergarments and over-garments I must wear, and there will be no corruption. Granted, there’s not much to deal with, but it has to be dealt with – I wonder if this characteristic of MtF crossdressing is the source of much of the anguish I encounter, both within and outside of our little transgendered community. I mean, why on Earth would a male wish to suppress the very thing that makes his phallocentric world spin on its axis, driving every desire forward in a never-ending effort to conquer and dominate?

Like it or not, we’re all dancing around the amoral maypole of the male mind. Everything has a phallic connotation, be they hose couplings, rockets, lipstick, skyscrapers, instruments of war, Father Jack’s earwax candle, or the cave you just have to enter out of curiosity. Despite all this, I think it’s beautiful, which places me in a distinct position between two (or more) polarized camps of sexual thought. Don’t you know -- it’s a pleasure to pull it out and admire, but it’s an even greater pleasure to put it away and pretend it doesn’t exist. The way I see it, tucking is a manifestation of anti-phallocentrism – you’re in control (briefly), making a conscious decision, detaching yourself from all cylindrical* thinking. All is well, until you notice something, or feel something (well, you are a crossdresser, right?), that triggers a new chain of unstoppable events…

*BTW, when I was in art school we had life drawing classes (from male or female nude models) three or four times a week. Why? Well, if you can convincingly render a cylinder, or a sphere, you can do most anything (artistically)…

Who’s in charge, “him” or me? I can manage six days by myself, but then he demands a day. I’ll be doing just fine, and then something suddenly comes along to hang the towels on. I’m saddled with a male projectile that wants to assert itself, while I prefer to yield, withdraw, and dream my fairy dreams peacefully. Tell me -- how can you cry and feel vulnerable when you have an erection? It just doesn’t add up. This somewhat debilitating condition lies at the heart of all the confusion over the need to crossdress, IMHO. How many times do you hear “What am I doing?” or “What’s wrong with me?” Yes, it’s Mr. Demon Rod doing the talking, asserting dominance over the proceedings as he tries to mentally get the train back on the tracks by force. Derailment is not an option, you know, but can’t we simply get off at the nearest femme station and shut it down, at least for a while? Looking around, I see many crossdressers who grasp (pardon my pun) their innate condition and revel in it, while others are seeking to displace it, avoid it, or even remove it. Some people dream of getting their own, but it always seems to be at the heart of the matter. I understand – I’m just trying to get a handle on this whole thing…

I’ve almost said “I have a problem” to someone on numerous occasions, and I don’t mean my penchant for crossdressing. It really is that pervasive, a perversion in terms of degree. I’m not sure if I’m normal, or if I’m par for the course, but I’ve been detached from society for so long that I’m starting to transform innocent urges into pathological conditions. I guess I’ll continue being pulled along by an unseen force, since I have little or no choice in the matter, although I don’t know where it’s leading me. I treat things by not treating them, a necessary technique for mental health and happiness -- I’m happy, but I’m subsumed in this comic opera starring my own overt sexuality. The show must go on, even if there’s only one member of the audience applauding…:clap:

Well, thanks for reading. If you don’t see me around, you’ll know where I am. Tell me – how do you deal with your barely contained maleness, if indeed that is the case? Give me some stick…

PS – I’m mixing some dough to make cookies -- would you like to lick the spoon? :heehee:

[Sophie86]

I'll be in my bunk.

:laughing:

[Pythos]

um.
hmmm.
er.....
Right let's see.
let me say this. (and you all will think I am even more nuts than you already do)

I FRAKING HATE HOW NEARLY EVERYTHING HAS SOME PENIS OR VAGINA CONNECTION!!!

lol

What I mean is I really hate how everything in our world some how or another is some expression of our prowessness or lack there of in a certain area of our bodies (males).

I really dislike it when someone is said to have balls when they have done something brave. Why is it testicles, some very vulnerable and horribly located organs have anything to do with bravery? There are MANY females that have done some brave and courageous things, so being male has little to do with being brave.

When I drive a classic muscle car, I really don't like the idea people think that I am driving it cause I have a small unit. I have heard this so much "oh that's his penis extension" and so on. In my case NO IT IS NOT. I am driving that vehicle because I LIKE IT!!!. LOL

I personally find truck nuts, offensive. :)

I have heard some people call aircraft phallic symbols. This just makes me wanna wretch. There is a reason aircraft air shaped the way they are, and it is not to penetrate a vagina.

The Saturn V, the most awesome machine ever made, just short of the submarine (the sub is actually more complex than even the Saturn V) I have heard a woman say "oh that was made by a man, I mean look at it, what a penis symbol", I just wanted to smack her for her stupidity. How else would you design a machine that needed to be sleek, light, and be able to propel a heavy machine to the moon? The shape of the Saturn V was not to satisfy Werner Von Braun's want to have a HUGE penis. It was to get humans to the moon. (there are those that say that endeavor was just a big penis fight too)

Speaking of Freud. He was a very smart person. How so? In all his talk about Phallocentrism he said something that is more often true than not. "A cigar is just a cigar"

Very little of what I do is about putting forward my manhood, frankly I find it more annoying than "fun". LOL

I do think however, many wars have been penis fights, which makes them that much more dumb.

[Kathi Lake]

I’m just trying to get a handle on this whole thing…Ay, there's the rub - so to speak. :)

We have male urges, dearest, because we're male. We have a biological imperative to use the tools we're given. Our brains, our hormones, our upbringing, our very nature compels us to do what we do. Being the visual creatures that nature made us, along with being the emotional creatures we aspire to be, triggers certain reactions to our state.

Our brains (and by our, I mean our fellow transgender sub-species) also tell us that what we have should be hidden as that there just doesn't belong. So we do the tuck and roll to keep that not-so-subtle reminder of our maleness because it intrudes on our feeling of femininity.

So, get a grip, sister!

:)

Kathi

[DeeDee1974]

I don't necessarily dress to supress my sexual urges, but when dressed I don't feel sexual desire like I once did. I do feel feminine and sexy. I become one of the girls and want friendship & acceptance. Although I also notice a desire to be noticed by and flirt with men, but it has never gone any further than flirtation.

[Sophie86]

Now that I have my Firefly one-liner out of the way, here are my thoughts...

Dressing gives me a feeling of euphoria, a kind of psycho-sexual energy and femme mental state that I really enjoy. Releasing the sexual energy via orgasm diminishes that lovely feeling, so I try to hold on to it for awhile. After so many days of climbing the hill, though, I'm ready to reach the top. How many days that takes varies. I prefer for my wife to be there when it does, but that's not absolutely necessary. I can go it alone in a pinch. :heehee:

Of course, there are relationships built around delaying those moments for long periods, and having the woman in charge of saying when, where and how they happen. Devices other than tight panties are used to suppress unwanted extrusions. Some gurls go for that, but I like being in charge of myself.

[AllieSF]

Fortunately or unfortunately, I do not suffer from your affliction. However, I really do like and enjoy your writing style here and think and recommend that you further develop it into short stories like those in Playboy, which I actually read, after looking at all the pics, of course!

[Gerrijerry]

If thy part has wrong the, have it removed.

[Ruth]

Thanks for your beautifully written post, Freddy. I can't say I totally understood it, but it's good to read such a detailed self-examination here. We are, by our nature, a bundle of contradictions, and it's never easy to express what's going on in our heads when we dress. It is one of the lasting benefits of this site that there are people who will try to do this in hopes of striking a chord in the minds of their sisters.
Love and best wishes,
Ruth

[Persephone]

Phallocentric? Or phallophillic?

[Rhonda Jean]

Whew! Thank God for online dictionaries! Give me a couple of days and I'll get back to ya on this.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Frederique, the bigger question might be, why do you feel the need to suppress your sexual desires? I could understand if one is a TS and hates their male anatomy. You are not alone in how you feel, and I have known a few others with similar feelings.

Maybe it is because I am "just a TV and too male" (as a TS friend once told me), but I don't understand why being a sexual person is such a bad thing, and something to be ashamed or feel bad guilty about. For male bodied folks that kind of sexual desire you speak of is natural, literally "normal", and perfectly healthy. I know I would be *very* distressed if I lost my desire to be a sexual person. :sad:

[Emily Barton]

I can't even begin to wade in on something this complex, it's quite literally way over my head. The reasons why I (intend to) dress are the opposite of yours - for sexual excitement. But reading your post I felt like I had to say something, because you clearly put a lot of thought and effort into it. You have a way with words and I definitely feel somehow enlightened having read your post, despite not being able to relate to it through experience. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

[Rianna Humble]

Do you dress for sexual excitement, or for suppression of sexual thought? Maybe you do neither

Please forgive me if I missed something important in the doctoral thesis :heehee:, but I will try to answer this question to the best of my ability.

To my recollection, there has never been a link for me between dressing and sexual activity. To be precise, as far as I can recall, I have never associated dressing with sexual excitement neither have I thought of it as a means of sexual repression.

I can say definitely that I find less need to relieve myself sexually now that I have accepted who I am, but the lessening of need is not the same as repression (one is passive, the other active).

I will admit that seeing myself in some new garment in the past has occasionally made my male genitalia stand to attention, but again, this has never been associated with any form of sexual release or repression.

I am almost definitely not the norm, but this is the way that I am.

[Kaz]

Hey Freddie, totally got you! PM me...

[Kathryn Martin]

Where to start:straightface:

I must say this is really an issue that for me is under the "masculinity management" rubric.

I, like you, seek the feminine expression to suppress the phallic demands of my body which, unfortunately continues to produce detest-osterone. I have always found that these very basement level urges (this is not a value judgment but a descriptive term meaning so deeply part of my human foundation that they are beyond fine subtle control) lay waste as you put it to any subtle, discriminating, and differentiating emotions or thoughts. In fact it's somewhat like "squirrel" for the dogs in the movie UP.:D

The phallocentrism that we get handed as boys with our first dose of T (around the age of 9) takes much away from us and with respect gives very little in return. I have not ever found a woman who could satisfy the demands of any males phallus (at least after the first honeymoon is over) so that a combination of onanism and sex life usually tries to keep the some control of the thing. However, I have always found sex is like good theater(usually some form of comic opera like you say), to be satisfactory you must set the stage, evolve the characters and give a great performance. Well, guess what, usually the phallus just stands there like a stage hand without hands and does plenty of nothing. It can't even hit the right spot without being aided:eek:. So then you masturbate, which means to defile yourself by hand, or sometimes "to stir up by hand". It can't even do that on it's own either. Essentially at the end of the day it's real value for me at least is to ignore it. And when I dress I can ignore it and sublimate the basement into an emotional flower gardens of sometimes spectacular beauty.

I can manage up to two weeks, but then I am 56 and the demands are less compelling since I have long realized that it's a disappointment anyway. Don't get me wrong I love sex, always have, but what that's got to do with the basement or unrestricted incompetence of Penises, is beyond me.

If we only realized that we are constantly treated in some way or another, which is really a declaration by the therapist that we are somehow incompetent and are suffering from a condition. Like Blanchard when he says we are all deviants because we have a romantic or sexual involvement with our image as a woman, by typing us as autogynephilliacs. That way we are easily controlled in manner of "ah, poor thing, he can't help it you know, he's a little gaga, he's an autogynephilliac, dear".:eek::heehee:

I like your approach, and mine for that matter, let's all go from the coarse to the sublime.

Kathryn

[jessica renee]

After all that, which I didn't quite understand all of either, I still feel compelled to add my opinion.

I too have a father who is very masculine. He has worked in labor intensive jobs since before I was born, works on cars, played sports in school, that sort of thing. Myself, I have had jobs in the retail sector since I started working, never was one to play sports, although I do watch them frequently, and my only interest in cars is that I have one to get me to where I need to go. However, I don't think any of this has anything to do with my dressing. My reasons for dressing have never had anything to do with anything sexual, not even when I was a teenager. I simply dress because I like to, because it makes me feel more feminine, and because I like to feel pretty and feminine.

And I agree with Pythos as well as far as why everything in life has to have a connection to certain parts of the anatomy.

[Barbara Dugan]

Very interesting post Frederique...I wont deny that sometimes dressing for me is sexually exciting and is my only way of sexual expression and release but I really dont dress just for sexual gratification most of the time I am just being me.

I really welcome the moments that both issues come together and I dont try to supress any of them... that part of the anatomy has really come handy now before I had no use for it..its not secret that most guys that are into us are looking for that duality:o

[Kelly Blaine]

Hang around, I think this great family can help you figure things out.

[Stephenie S]

Ah, the trials and tribulations of testosterone poisoning. I am sorry for you.

S

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm reminded of the King of the Moon in "The Adventures of Baron Munchousen", the Terry Gilliam movie. Robin Williams is the King and his head has sailed away to pursue philosophy because it is disgusted by the unseemly and sensous needs of the body. It's well worth the viewing. Freddie, it seems that you bring us back to that mind-body question from a slightly different point of view. For me, I have to admit the body needs food, drink, rest and maybe a little release now and then to stay properly operational. The care and feeding of the human male body may require that particular bit of service now and then, just because it is a human body. Regardless of how we think or what we desire it's doing the things that come natural to the beast and try as we might to train it, curtail the very unfeminine behavior and remain aloof, it's a difficult task. However, I don't see it as a failing of will or an example of how we can never treat our feminine side the way it deserves. It's just the nature of our duality. I hope you don't think I'm giving up, but I hate to fight a battle I'm not equiped to win.

I'm afraid it will be like the farmer who was finding ways to save money in hard times by attempting to train his horse not to eat. When asked about the results a few months later he replied, "He had just about learned how to do it when he up and died." Unless I get some major changes in my biology this particular problem is one that I'll have to face because the horse has to eat.

[Sophie86]

Well, guess what, usually the phallus just stands there like a stage hand without hands and does plenty of nothing. It can't even hit the right spot without being aided:eek:.

Is there some other external body part, male or female, that does what it's supposed to do without some assistance from the brain and the other body parts? The way I see it, if he's standing, he's doing his job. I can take it from there. :heehee:


So then you masturbate, which means to defile yourself by hand

Fortunately, I'm over that way of looking at it. With or without a partner, it's still a spiritual experience.


Don't get me wrong I love sex, always have, but what that's got to do with the basement or unrestricted incompetence of Penises, is beyond me.

Penises can't be that bad. Women ask for them by name. :)

I imagine that a lot of the CDs here who are out with their wives have had the discussion about how, whatever else they do, retention of the male member is an absolute must. There must be a reason why women like them. Perhaps their vaginocentrism makes them phallophillic? Being only 73% heterosexual, and a parttime girl to boot, I think I may have some insight into that. ;)

I don't mean to be contrarian, I just believe that, so long as my guy is willing to stand up for me, I should stand up for him. :heehee:

[Butterfly Bill]

I'll be in my bunk.
:laughing:

This must be what going mad feels like.

[Butterfly Bill]

[reply to original post]

In my early days (back in high school and college], it was quite the opposite for me. I would wind up "taking myself by the hand' at the end of almost every CD session. I also liked the feel of certain fabrics as they passed over that part. I was definitely confronting that femaleness as a male, perhaps not unlike having sex with a real woman.

[sherri]

While I was reading your interesting post, I was thinking, like Vicky, why would you want to suppress your sexuality? And why do you feel that your sexual urges detract from your sense of identity? To me, there is no battle of male vs female sexuality, or sexual desire interfering with my sense of gender. I'm a sexual creature, and I play that hand with the cards I've been dealt. It may not be the only reason I dress, and it certainly doesn't happen every time, but being sexually aroused in a skirt feels perfectly natural to me. In other words, I'm a gurl who likes sex. ;-)

[GaleWarning]

In other words, I'm a gurl who likes sex. ;-)

For me, the situation is even simpler ...

I am a CDer who likes sex.

Sometimes dressed, sometimes not.

It's not something I choose to agonize about.
:)

[Asako]

As always Frederique, you make me think quite a lot with your posts. It got me on the track of "if I could get rid of my male organ right now in surgery without negative repercussions...would I do it?". I ask myself that because I'm not fond of "getting off" but at the same time, if my "buddy" was gone...I think I would be in a bit of shock since physically I ID myself as female but emotionally ID myself partially as male and have to admit that I'm somewhat partial to him being there.

For most things, in my eyes, gender just doesn't apply. If I were female when I helped a friend drop his gas tank, I would have still been underneath the car helping him the whole time. I probably would have bruised and scrapped my chest here and there, like when we dropped the tank and it hit my ribs, but I still would have been beneath his car, helping him out. Why? Because I don't see cars as a "guy thing" or something like cooking as a "female thing" because I like working on my car went something breaks but I also really enjoy cooking.

I inherited my father's masculinity right down to height and looks. At 20, my grand parents and mom thought I looked a great deal like my dad did at 20. Heck, even I could see that I resemble him greatly in some aspects. At the same time though, I have a great deal of "traditional" feminine traits. I love my long hair. Can't stand my arms and legs having hair. My voice goes up and down the scale like several other females that I've met despite being a masculine bass. Since I've gotten my forms and bras, I have never wanted to take them off because it just feels RIGHT. Those things don't sound like masculinity to me. I'm physically attracted to women and emotionally attracted to men. Doesn't entirely sound masculine to me either. So, which am I? After a good deal of thinking over the last 4 years, I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to gender in my soul and personality, I am a hermaphrodite(mix of female and male physical aspects with BOTH reproductive organs) but retain a physical female identity.

You display a high level of intellect Frederique. If a dumb high school drop-out that put forth just barely enough effort to pass their classes like me can find an answer as to what they are, then I know you definitely can find an answer. I don't know if my method of introspection will help you but if your area is anything like your profile picture, then stare at the sky on a nice day and let your thoughts and feelings roam and touch on anything and everything while blocking out the world. Sometimes, you just gotta "feel" your way to your answer instead. =)

[Tima]

A very interesting topic, Frédérique! Yes, it’s a phallocentric world out there, and men are obsessed with keeping an eye on the prize. I have to work around my own central idea of masculinity, but I’m not sure how much I love it. It does get in the way, and it can be exhausting to deal with. I’m most happy when I’m “away,” in a different zone entirely, but I really don’t give in to feelings of aggression or dominance in any event. I’d rather yield than put up some form of resistance, but yielding to pressure from an undesired gender characteristic is a drag!
:sad:

[Frédérique]

How else would you design a machine that needed to be sleek, light, and be able to propel a heavy machine to the moon? The shape of the Saturn V was not to satisfy Werner Von Braun's want to have a HUGE penis. It was to get humans to the moon. (there are those that say that endeavor was just a big penis fight too)

Every design has its visual counterpart in nature. Would you at least agree that the thing has visual similarities to the male member? The fact that the Saturn V was a certain shape to help achieve escape velocity, plus sufficiently lengthy to contain enough fuel, equipment and sundries, not to mention the crew, to go on a mission (remember that antiquated idea?) is one thing, but I know a visual pun when I see one. How about the spermatozoa-shaped “Discovery” in 2001: A Space Odyssey? Hey, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist, you know! BTW, all wars (hot or cold) are exactly what you so eloquently described, albeit in a second-hand "I don't agree" fashion….

Tell me -- if the phallus was square, or triangular, or rhomboidal, and the female orifice was a different shape entirely, don’t you think these overly-familiar physical forms would seep into the human consciousness over time, finding their way into design, unconsciously or otherwise? Being an artist (and a designer), I submit they would…


Frederique, the bigger question might be, why do you feel the need to suppress your sexual desires? I could understand if one is a TS and hates their male anatomy. You are not alone in how you feel, and I have known a few others with similar feelings.

Because, like I said in the OP, the level of displacement I experience is THAT debilitating – I get nothing done at all, except for the aforementioned phallicism, and the build-up is lengthy. I don’t hate my male anatomy, which is why I post in this section -- I’m merely trying to keep it out of the way long enough to enjoy my feminine clothes and their attendant peaceful thoughts, usually during a lull in the proceedings. It is an ongoing struggle to suppress sexual thought, simply because it is so insistent, in my somewhat rare case. I blame heredity, but my visual imagination (also inherited) certainly contributes…


I must say this is really an issue that for me is under the "masculinity management" rubric.
I like your approach, and mine for that matter, let's all go from the coarse to the sublime.

Yes, “masculinity management” is an excellent description for what’s going on here. I know all about the coarse, but the sublime is just that, a peaceful, beautiful place where you can forget who you are. I go there frequently, but “he” comes along for the ride – minimized and “offline,” of course…


Phallocentric? Or phallophillic?

You consistently read me like a book, my dear! Only my hairdresser knows for sure…:heehee:

[Diane Smith]

All the way through reading this thread, this quote from Robin Williams keeps popping into my head:

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

- Diane

[docrobbysherry]

Which we can solve, resolve, or simply give in to!?

Altho I don't relate to YOURS, I think I understand how deeply they effect u!:straightface:

To me, sex is life! Like eating, sleeping, going potty! I don't NEED to think about any of them. They present themselves whenever they need to! I have NEVER thot about it as "MALE". Because if I were female, I think the desire, the demand for sex, would still be part of life for me!:)

When I broke with my ex, I had no desire for sex. I "died" for 2 years!:sad:
Then, Sherry appeared! Renewing my vigor. Life returned!:D

I do NOT dress thinking about sex!:straightface:

I do it because I want to create the beautiful woman I see in my mind. However almost inevitably, when I have finished creating her, and have tried on all the outfits and looks I had set out, finished taking pics of her, and am simply relaxing and looking at her in the mirror, I feel lust and desire!:devil:

Many years ago, I stopped sullying her perfect fem image with ANYTHING male! :doh: And, I have NO PROBLEMS satisfying myself while I'm completely tucked and she remains completely dressed! Virginal appearing, but happily, NO VIRGIN!!:heehee:

[Julogden]

Hi Frédérique,

I am one who does get most of what you're saying, not so much regarding the sexual aspect, but I feel like there's always been a war going on inside me with the masculine side being the spoiler, the instiller of guilt and very good at sabotaging the feminine aspect. At 59 years of age, I am nearly at the point of totally exhausted surrender. Deal with it while you're still young and resilient if at all possible, as your masculine side will wear you down as time passes, and believe me, time will pass more quickly than you can imagine.

Carol

[sherri]

All the way through reading this thread, this quote from Robin Williams keeps popping into my head:

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

- Diane:go:

[suchacutie]

What a fabulous post! I begin to think that approach to the world of femininity has, happily, put me in a position I never thought possible (okok, of course that's true, but bear with me). The phallocentrism that exists in my personal relationship is relegated to my masculine side by agreement. It had nothing negative to do with Tina, but completely to do with the fact that my wife sees Tina as her girlfriend. That said, Tina has been free to explore what she is and what part of our life she will occupy without having to worry at all about intimacy. I can't even begin to tell you how many ways that frees her to continue the adventure she started 5 years ago to let us see who she is. The whole struggle you describe simply vanishes when "Tina comes to visit".

The parallel is "when in Rome....." When I'm a guy...I'm a guy. I do what guys do! Tina is then free to be herself, and that she certainly is (high maintenance is her middle name!).

Maybe it's this complete separation that works so well for me. I do need both of me, no doubt!

tina

[Cassandra Lynn]

Note to self, *remember to get popcorn before reading her posts*.

All i can say is wow! But really now, aren't we just tucking it for the sake of a more realistic look?

Now then, off to find the advil bottle.
mj (Cassie)

[sissystephanie]

Unlike many of the "girls" on this forum, I crossdress simply because I like to!! Sex has never entered into the picture for me. Although when my wife was alive, we sometimes changed roles when in bed! But my dear late wife always knew that I was her man, no matter how frilly I was dressed!!

Cassie's note to self is very good. The opening post on this thread was a little much........ no offense, Frederique!! It is good, just long!!

[Veronica 1]

Whew! Thank God for online dictionaries! Give me a couple of days and I'll get back to ya on this. :confused:


What she said.

[eluuzion]

I have certainly done more than my share of hiding things and running from things in my life, but sex was never one of them. It is one of the few things in life that is left, which is fun, without being illegal.

I just do not take sex & CD & life's mysteries as seriously as many seem to. The more "rules" you make, the less imagination and creativity you will experience. I will admit that ultimately, everything ends up having some degree of sexual pursuit for me. It does not disappear, it just is less consuming at some times than others, lol...

I think of my travels in life more as of a process of adding experiences, not controlling things or replacing one thing for another.

Life is just one big "StreetCar named Desire" for me...."And the wheels on the bus go round' n round'...round' n round'...round n' round'....

[Frédérique]

The opening post on this thread was a little much........ no offense, Frederique!! It is good, just long!!

My motto is: “Why write a few words when you can write 4 or 5 (or 6) paragraphs?” :heehee:

I promise I’ll compose a thread some day titled “WTF?” and leave it at that! Sorry, but the phallus seems to be in control today...:o

Here’s a good response to one of my overly-long OP’s: “Huh?” :eek: