I need to get this off my chest

[Kim_Bitzflick]

So I’m here at work, doing my job but what is not typical is that I’m wearing a bra under my regular dress shirt. I’m a size 38AA to A. I finally found a couple bras I like that mostly fit well with little or no unfilled cup. This gives a smooth look under my shirts. I’ve been doing this for about two weeks now and the more I wear my bras, the more comfortable I get with it. I still try to hide this but also am getting to the point where I’m almost ready to not care if someone pats me on the back and realizes that I’m wearing a bra…..almost.

I work in a mostly male industry but more females are entering it all the time. It’s office work – all computer & paper work so it’s not the testosterone filled environment some work in, but it is still a mostly male industry. 20 years ago, it used to be the only female in the office was a secretary (now called administrative assistants). Now we have about 5% of women who are in other positions.

So wearing the bra daily has been nice. I feel like it is right. I’ve worn a bra to work before, but never on a daily basis. Part of the reason I didn’t do it on a regular basis is because I couldn’t find a good fitting bra that was not one of the molded cups that gives you a chest whether you have any or not. Those kind of showed through & so I had to be careful when I wore them. The other part is because my wife would always say she could see my bra under my shirt (she actually saw the larger chest the molded cups made).

In addition, I have been wearing the bras at home with my t-shirts & shorts. The bra is barely noticeable even under a loose t-shirt. If my kids have noticed they haven’t said a word about it.

So why am I posting this? Because I needed to tell someone what was on my chest (but I don’t want to get it “off my chest”) and I think telling my wife all this would be too much for her right now. She’s supportive. She knows that I’ve been doing this and has been quiet. I don’t think she likes it. So I don’t want to overload her with my thoughts, feelings etc. In time we will talk about it, but for now I’ll let it go unsaid.

Thanks for listening.

Update:

It's hard to believe that is't been over a month of wearing the bra to work. So far no comments, stares or funny looks. In fact, no one is treating me any different. I assume they either A) don't notice or B) don't care. I'm still a good worker and just got a raise a couple weeks ago.

I'm getting to the point where I sometimes forget I am wearing it.



Update Again 11/29/10

So here it is over 2 months of wearing a bra to work and at home daily and not a single comment.

Now I often forget I am wearing it. Now if only I could grow breasts.......

[Gina X]

Hi Kim, I know just how you feel I've been wearing a bra mostly with different sized breast forms (no not all at once) for over two years in that time I've had just two funny looks from fellow shoppers in the supermarket. Today I'm at home and decided to not wear a bra just for a change and it feels funny like I'm missing the support (I'm a 42AA-A naturally) so only really need the support with forms but am missing it au natural so I shall have to go and put a bra on soon it just doesn't feel right anymore................

Love GinaX

[JessiRed]

if you don't mind me asking, what kind of bras did you find that don't show through your shirt?

[Emily Ann Brown]

As it gets colder I will wear my bras to work. The first thing I do when I get home is put a bra on...the "B" girls feel better with support. I work with guys..who love to "touch"..so I have to be care.

Em

[shelly-55]

So let me get this straight... you're wearing a bra to work but you "want to get it off your chest"??? Are the hooks stuck or what? Ha ha, couldn't resist that.... actually I wanted to get serious with you here--What would you do if someone actually did "slap you on the back" ? Wouldn't that lead to a rather embarrassing sitch? Wouldn't it be a bit difficult to face that guy afterwards without somekind of explanation which, depending on who it is (your boss!) may or may not go so well. I guess what I'm saying is be careful! Losing your job or having to quit in these hard times is nothing to fool around with. I hope you aren't addicted to taking chances to get your thrills, especially since you mentioned you are a parent. Be cool!

[Kim_Bitzflick]

if you don't mind me asking, what kind of bras did you find that don't show through your shirt?

Barely There # 4285 color taupe.

Also note that I wear my shirt tucked in so it puckers near the chest. But still it is not very visible under a t-shirt alone.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

So let me get this straight... you're wearing a bra to work but you "want to get it off your chest"??? Are the hooks stuck or what? Ha ha, couldn't resist that.... actually I wanted to get serious with you here--What would you do if someone actually did "slap you on the back" ? Wouldn't that lead to a rather embarrassing sitch? Wouldn't it be a bit difficult to face that guy afterwards without somekind of explanation which, depending on who it is (your boss!) may or may not go so well. I guess what I'm saying is be careful! Losing your job or having to quit in these hard times is nothing to fool around with. I hope you aren't addicted to taking chances to get your thrills, especially since you mentioned you are a parent. Be cool!

Actually there is only one person who ever does that & he probably would be ok with it (he's from France and a little more open minded). I know my job is not worth it, but then again, I'm not openly displaying it either. my under clothes are my personal choice as long as it doesn't affect my work.

I don't think this is to "get thrills". It just feels right to wear it. in fact, I rarely get excited over dressing. I just enjoy being me.

[shelly-55]

Barely There # 4285 color taupe.

Also not that I wear my shirt tucked in so it puckers near the chest. But still it is not very visible under a t-shirt alone.

My often used rule of thumb is to look at someone else who is wearing what you are, in this case a large T, and ask yourself, "would I be able to tell if that guy was wearing a bra under there?" and I think your answer would have to be a big YEAH! Think now when you bend over to tie your shoe, pick something up, etc and your t shirt streches over your back and there is someone behind you... voilé!!

[Gerrijerry]

many things in life our up to us. You can wear what you like. The effect may be ok with you but not to others, that is what you need to measure. Personally I think you should be able to work and dress the way your want. However people that work with you could make you life a living hell. Only you really know the kind of people you work with and the companys feeling on the subject.
As for the bra not showing I would think under the right light and right shirt it will show, So sooner or later it will be noticed. Now it is up to you to deside what you want to do.
No one can deside what is correct for you. Just think it out clearly.

[kimdl93]

Kim, I think this is a great place to let out things while you're working things out in your own mind. I know your wife has been supportive generally, so I suspect that her only concerns will be your safety and employment security. If you're discrete - perhaps neither will be an issue. You're in a much better position to judge that than anyone else.

[JessiRed]

Barely There # 4285 color taupe.

Also not that I wear my shirt tucked in so it puckers near the chest. But still it is not very visible under a t-shirt alone.

Thanks!

I will say though, it has hook and eye closures and the strap adjusters are on the back which means it is visible to others. SORRY if it seems negative, but I need to wear a bra every day for several reasons but can't be "outed" so I look for things like that.

Take a look at this Camisole. It's what I wear everyday, I still get the support of a bra, but without the VBL (visible bra lines). Also, you get a little tummy control and the material is so soft against the skin. It is possible for people to see this in the right light etc, but it looks just like an A shirt (or wife beater, although I hate that term).

http://www.herroom.com/Vanity-Fair-17196-Body-Fresh-Camisole.shtml

[Stephenie S]

I think it's great that you are feeling good enough about yourself to be doing this.

But, as a few others have already pointed out, don't think for a moment that no one can tell. Sweetie, any one can tell. You can't hide a bra except under a winter coat. It's not that they can't tell, it's that they don't care.

"Oh, that's Jesse. He's a little weird, but he's all right."

We see these posts fairly often. But contrary to many people's thoughts, wearing a bra is a pretty obvious thing. Just look at the women around you. You can tell can't you. Well, others can tell about you.

It's OK. Take this as a learning experience. What you have learned is not that people can't see a bra. They can. What you HAVE learned is that most people just don't care WHAT you wear. They have their own problems to worry about and those problems don't include you and what you are wearing for underwear.

Stephie

BTW, when you said you had to get this off your chest, I thought you were going to talk about HAIR.

S

[Delenn]

I did wear very long years(15 - 20) underwears and bras under my male clothes and no one said anything. I do not know someone saw ar not, but maybe this was my preparation for coming out of closet, even I did not think about it yet.

[Ann Thomas]

Kim, I can appreciate where you are with this - it's exactly where I am as well. I went through the slow transition at a prior job, and once it became apparent that I was noticed, things changed for a while but that faded away and things got back down to business. Now I'm going through that cycle again at a new job - been wearing bras full time now to work for a month or so. I have a variety of types, some more or less visible than others. Like you I feel that it is right most of all - it makes me feel comforted, and in today's economy that's important to me. My wife is about the same as yours in some ways, but she suggested it at one point as a way of having an outlet that doesn't affect her as much - she knows but doesn't want to on the other hand.

You go girl!

Hugs,
Ann

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I appreciate all your advice and support. I do realize that it may be able to be seen. I do check myself in the mirror (front & back) before I leave the house to make sure it can't be seen. Yes if I bend waaaaayyyyy over the strap will show through but 99% of the time I'm alone in my cube (yes, I'm in Dilbert land).

Shelly,

I'm glad you picked up on my dry sense of humor. The title was supposed to evoke that kind of thought.

Jessi,

I know the hooks make it more possible to notice but I wanted a real bra not the pull over your head type. I do wear satin cami's over the bra when needed and for the last two years I wore only the cami's similar to what you have.

Stephi & Ann,

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm not sure how far I'll go with this but it's nice to know what is possible.

Hugs to all.

[Rhonda Jean]

Several years ago when I was married I wore soft cup bras, usually lacey strecthy things, every day and everywhere. At work I usually wore dress shirts with an undershirt or camisole and polo shirts in the summer. I'm pretty sure if anyone at work had noticed I would have known it, even if they didn't say anything to me directly. Outside of work I'm not sure. On my own time I often wore shirts that I knew my bra showed through. Once when my wife and I were out of town, in otherwise drab clothes, I wore a thin gauzey blouse that my bra obviously showed through. White bra, thin white shirt. I thought my wife might nix it, but she didn't say a thing. Even though I knew this top made my bra as obvious as if I'd been wearing plastic wrap nobody reacted, except when these two old ladies were coming toward us down an aisle. I could plainly read one's lips when she exclaimed to her friend, "He's wearing a bra!" I guess these examples only show that, yes, you can get away with wearing a bra at work undetected, but in some situations even if you are detected you'd never know it.

I have seen one guy wearing a bra. Haven't seen him in a long time, but for a few years I used to see him around occasionally. I usually saw him in thrift stores, sometimes with a woman whom I presume was his wife. He was all guy. Always wearing a short sleeved T-shirt. In his case, though, he needed a bra! He was slightly overweight, but he had a spectacular rack! He was at least a D-cup, and in those tight t-shirts, there was nothing subtle about it. He had superbly feminine breast and unabashedly wore those industrial strength 4-hook bras, sometimes with a shirt tight enough that you could see the lace imprint from his bra. I always thought, "More power to ya, brother!" What I'd give for half that much boobage and half that much moxie!

[lingerieLiz]

This question keeps coming up. The bad news is. The answer is, YES they will see your bra. Sorry, truth is that most every bra I've seen or worn will show. In my past work life I spent many hours sitting in the back of boring meetings with a majority of women. I would sit and look at their backs to distinguish bra lines. You could see them on almost every woman.

Yes, I've worn a bra to work, but seldom and only with a very thick sweater. I've appeared on a dais similarly attired. But a sport coat or suit coat will not hide a bra.

The good news is that in general most people aren't looking for the unexpected. The eye and mind filter much of what we see. People don't expect to see men wearing a bra so they filter out details and recognize the image of you. Today I wear a bra much of the time. I go to town, neighbors, and many places wearing one. I have boobs, 36Cs, that stick out no matter what. Always have. Strangers never say anything and neighbors accept me as a neighbor. Do they know? I'm sure they do.

[k lynn]

Iwear a bra every day 38b and have for the past 6 years I try to wear one that is less noticeable but the truth is the bra can still be seen but like others havesaid people today are caught up in there lives and just dont care

[Kim_Bitzflick]

This question keeps coming up. The bad news is. The answer is, YES they will see your bra. Sorry, truth is that most every bra I've seen or worn will show. In my past work life I spent many hours sitting in the back of boring meetings with a majority of women. I would sit and look at their backs to distinguish bra lines. You could see them on almost every woman.

Yes, I've worn a bra to work, but seldom and only with a very thick sweater. I've appeared on a dais similarly attired. But a sport coat or suit coat will not hide a bra.

The good news is that in general most people aren't looking for the unexpected. The eye and mind filter much of what we see. People don't expect to see men wearing a bra so they filter out details and recognize the image of you. Today I wear a bra much of the time. I go to town, neighbors, and many places wearing one. I have boobs, 36Cs, that stick out no matter what. Always have. Strangers never say anything and neighbors accept me as a neighbor. Do they know? I'm sure they do.

36C and no bra? :eek: Wow. I would wear a bra everyday with that. I guess at work it would be a minimizer bra, but still.

[Kari Lynn Franks]

my wife and I have this disscusion all the time im always wearing a bra and as soon as she hits the door off hers goes and when I do laundry I never know where im going to find one of hers

[MsRachael]

I'm on my phone so this will b short, but I'm at work wearing a bright pink VS shirt (under my button up uniform shirt) but you can clearly see it at the neckline, and I'm wearing a VS bra under it (regular bra). Just wearing a size A. But if anyone asks I'll just say I'm sick of wearing white all the time and I have lots of different color shirts, this one just happens to be pink, what, you not man enough to wear it? Haha. As for the bra... If a guy pats me on the back... Yeah I dunno what to say there lol, so I hope they don't. (Which they have done before so emm I'll just try to avoid it lol keeping my Fingers crossed)

[Josey]

I agree with most;wearing a bra is almost imposisble to hide. Frankly almost everyone who notices could care less anyway. So keep doing your thing!

[Kim_Bitzflick]

If anyone has noticed, they haven't said anything and everyone is still talking to me like they always have.

As for seeing the bra straps on women, I've noticed that the cut of women's clothing is a lot tighter than male clothing so that these things are more noticable. But there are several women i work with where I've tried to see the bra straps and I can't. One in particular wears dress shirts that are male dress shirts & I never see her bra.

So if they have noticed, they have not said anything or stopped talking to me. They may be talking behind my back, I don't know.

[Dee Baker]

Hi Kim,

I do check the mirror when underdressing with a bra that the straps or bands don’t show through my shirt.
I have, last minute before leaving the house, taken the bra off and gone braless because the strap showed through the shirt I was wearing.

Depending on the shirt and color of the bra, I can wear a bralette (no back hook) or a regular bra (with a back hook) with no visual give away.

Just my 2c:
Dee

[lingerieLiz]

36C and no bra? :eek: Wow. I would wear a bra everyday with that. I guess at work it would be a minimizer bra, but still.

I doubt that you would if you wanted to advance in corporate America. BUT, I liked my job and even more my pay so I played the role of a corporate executive for many years. I've seen what happens when someone doesn't fit with the stereotype image that a company wants to portray.

I do wear minimizer bras often today or tight tee shirts. When I gained weight from eating way too much I ended up wearing 40Cs last year. Now that I'm losing weight back to what I was I wear 38Bs or Cs. I will be back to 36 bands shortly. The difference between a 38B and 36C is the projection you display. The volume of tissue that each is designed to hold is the same. They are called sister sizes.

[Diane Elizabeth]

Here I thought you were going to talk about getting hair off your chest. I once wore a bra to work with a T shirt under my uniform shirt. It must have been noticable because a co worker slapped me on the back to double check. He didn't sasy anything and I am not sure he said anything to anyone else. Nothing was said to me. But even with a T shirt and a uniform shirt it was noticable in the mirror to me. So I got it off before anyone else decided to slap me on the back. Now when I do wear one to work I will have a jacket on as well.

[subwrx]

Wile we are talking about getting caught underwearing. Several years ago I got caught by my boss (the owner of the company). Wearing purple Victoria Secret rio briefs. Two weeks before I got married...... I was mortified for a wile but I stuck it out. When asked why I said "why not" and "They are comfortable". I earned the nickname Vicky and continued to work there for 4 more years until they went BK. I work in a small aviation industry and it has not effected me. I still underdress today everyday.

I got a $250.00 gift certificate to Victoria's Secret from all the people that worked there as a wedding present.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Wile we are talking about getting caught underwearing. Several years ago I got caught by my boss (the owner of the company). Wearing purple Victoria Secret rio briefs. Two weeks before I got married...... I was mortified for a wile but I stuck it out. When asked why I said "why not" and "They are comfortable". I earned the nickname Vicky and continued to work there for 4 more years until they went BK. I work in a small aviation industry and it has not effected me. I still underdress today everyday.

I got a $250.00 gift certificate to Victoria's Secret from all the people that worked there as a wedding present.

Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

[laurincd]

Kim

I envy you. I tried a few times underdressing with a bra (and also panties and nylons with garter belt) when going to a restaurant or the movies.
But then I got afraid of being outed if I was stopped for a traffic violation so I stopped doing it.
I wish I had your courage.

Laurin

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Kim

I envy you. I tried a few times underdressing with a bra (and also panties and nylons with garter belt) when going to a restaurant or the movies.
But then I got afraid of being outed if I was stopped for a traffic violation so I stopped doing it.
I wish I had your courage.

Laurin

Laurin,

I understand your fear of being outed. Maybe one day you will come to the realization I came to. Although I have not fully lived the realization I have taken many steps toward it. I am me & I can do what I want as long as it is not illegal and it doesn't hurt my family. Will this hurt my family? I don't think so.

Hugs

[wearingtanpantyhose]

Well, here's how I handled the same situation. You just need to be prepared ahead of time.

FIrst, I started complaining openly at work that my back was hurting. Then, I mentioned that I was going to see a doctor about it (I think I had a dentist appointment!). When asked, I told a couple co-workers that the doctor wants me to wear a posture support brace. Have you seen them? Even ones designed for men look much like a bra. I even bought one and wore it for a few days, complaining how uncomfortable having this thing wrapped around my chest. After a couple of days, I went into the restroom and took it off and folded it up on my desk. A female co-worker noticed it and said to me, "now you know what it's like for women."

That's all it took! A few week later, another female coworker and friend touched my back as we were going over some paperwork and she felt my bra. She asked me if my back was still hurting, and I said no, not as long as I wore the brace.

I wore a bra to work every day ever since. Little did they know I was usually wearing matching panties and pantyhose, too!

Now, if I could only get away with a skirt....

[linda allen]

I've worn a bra out a couple of times. Not to wok or anything, just driving around or once to a restaurant for a take out order. I even had very small forms in it. I just walked up, placed my order, got my food and left. It was under a pretty bulky shirt though.

Wearing panties should be no big deal unless you get in an accident or go to the gym and change. A bra is different. Less to hide it.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Well, here's how I handled the same situation. You just need to be prepared ahead of time.

FIrst, I started complaining openly at work that my back was hurting. Then, I mentioned that I was going to see a doctor about it (I think I had a dentist appointment!). When asked, I told a couple co-workers that the doctor wants me to wear a posture support brace. Have you seen them? Even ones designed for men look much like a bra. I even bought one and wore it for a few days, complaining how uncomfortable having this thing wrapped around my chest. After a couple of days, I went into the restroom and took it off and folded it up on my desk. A female co-worker noticed it and said to me, "now you know what it's like for women."

That's all it took! A few week later, another female coworker and friend touched my back as we were going over some paperwork and she felt my bra. She asked me if my back was still hurting, and I said no, not as long as I wore the brace.

I wore a bra to work every day ever since. Little did they know I was usually wearing matching panties and pantyhose, too!

Now, if I could only get away with a skirt....

That is a very interesting way to handle it. I don't think I could do that in a convincing manner. I'm glad it worked for you.