Bree-asaurus
09-23-2010, 11:32 PM
There have been a couple threads recently about people coming out to their parents or their family and it going really well and I wanted to add another thread to the pile of happy reactions. It's always good to read stories with happy endings (to chapters, but I'll take what I can get, lol) so here's mine!
I had come out to most of my close friends, and a family I am very close with (to the point where they have been possibly more than family to me). Everyone has been super supportive except for the family I just mentioned. They are trying to be supportive, but it hasn't been easy with them and it came down to me taking some time off from them until they either come around, or I decide it's worth while to have their negativity in my life (but I'm not really a masochist... so we'll see). I think they'll come around in time.
So after standing up for myself with said family and finally putting my feelings before theirs, I've been feeling better about myself, like I'm a stronger person. I finally decided it was time to tell my real family what's been going on. I have been drifting further and further away from them because I'm uncomfortable pretending to be someone else around them. I decided I'm strong enough to deal with whatever reactions they have and that I'd rather take the chance of them not supporting me than having them think I was drifting away out of neglect or selfishness.
I always thought my sister and mom would be supportive, but I felt my sister would have to share this secret. My mom had a hard time worrying about me being gay and she has enough on her plate. My dad, while a great guy, I've always felt like he would be the most critical. I was expecting him to either not listen to me, tell me how the bible says it's wrong, or something along those lines.
So today I said enough is enough, I hate this distance between us, and I visited my sister and told her. As I expected, she was super cool. Drove to my dad's house preparing for the worst and OMG... he was SUPER cool about it! He listened to me, told me how he still loves me, I am still his son/daughter, and he will always be here for me! He even wants to talk to my therapist to learn more about what I'm going through! HURRAY DAD! After that, I was feeling super and called my mom (she's in a different state) and told her. And as I expected she was great but I know she is going to worry too much. I called my sister and told her how everything went and she told me that her hubby (who had left the house so we could talk) came back home and basically guessed at what we were talking about. After my sister explained things to him for a while, he's apparently cool with the whole thing too (which is cool because he's a super macho Marine type guy)!
So I just wanted to share this. I am soooo happy I was crying tears of joy earlier. My dad and I have always been close, but this... I can't even express how close I feel to him now.
Of course, it is quite possible that there will still be hard times down the road as they see more of my transition, but this is am amazing start with my family that I did not expect.
+1 happy stories! Hope it gives some other people hope who are struggling with the thought of telling their families.
I had come out to most of my close friends, and a family I am very close with (to the point where they have been possibly more than family to me). Everyone has been super supportive except for the family I just mentioned. They are trying to be supportive, but it hasn't been easy with them and it came down to me taking some time off from them until they either come around, or I decide it's worth while to have their negativity in my life (but I'm not really a masochist... so we'll see). I think they'll come around in time.
So after standing up for myself with said family and finally putting my feelings before theirs, I've been feeling better about myself, like I'm a stronger person. I finally decided it was time to tell my real family what's been going on. I have been drifting further and further away from them because I'm uncomfortable pretending to be someone else around them. I decided I'm strong enough to deal with whatever reactions they have and that I'd rather take the chance of them not supporting me than having them think I was drifting away out of neglect or selfishness.
I always thought my sister and mom would be supportive, but I felt my sister would have to share this secret. My mom had a hard time worrying about me being gay and she has enough on her plate. My dad, while a great guy, I've always felt like he would be the most critical. I was expecting him to either not listen to me, tell me how the bible says it's wrong, or something along those lines.
So today I said enough is enough, I hate this distance between us, and I visited my sister and told her. As I expected, she was super cool. Drove to my dad's house preparing for the worst and OMG... he was SUPER cool about it! He listened to me, told me how he still loves me, I am still his son/daughter, and he will always be here for me! He even wants to talk to my therapist to learn more about what I'm going through! HURRAY DAD! After that, I was feeling super and called my mom (she's in a different state) and told her. And as I expected she was great but I know she is going to worry too much. I called my sister and told her how everything went and she told me that her hubby (who had left the house so we could talk) came back home and basically guessed at what we were talking about. After my sister explained things to him for a while, he's apparently cool with the whole thing too (which is cool because he's a super macho Marine type guy)!
So I just wanted to share this. I am soooo happy I was crying tears of joy earlier. My dad and I have always been close, but this... I can't even express how close I feel to him now.
Of course, it is quite possible that there will still be hard times down the road as they see more of my transition, but this is am amazing start with my family that I did not expect.
+1 happy stories! Hope it gives some other people hope who are struggling with the thought of telling their families.