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View Full Version : Do we act to others as we don't want them to act to us?



PretzelGirl
09-24-2010, 04:24 PM
Okay, this is a bit of a vent but not at anyone in particular but at a thought process I have always seen here.

We tend to get worked up and very upset when people make assumptions about us or say comments. A big one is people who are deliberately calling us sir and it is obvious it is intentionally made to make us mad or embarrassed. Or maybe it is a SA who realizes we want to shop in the women's section and gets rude or just walks away. I agree it is fair to be mad. But I am always big on educating people because we just might swing some people to acceptance. I also agree that sometimes you can't cure stupid.

So if we get so mad when people make assumptions about us (pervs, gay when we aren't, whatever) then why do we turn around and trash other people too? Specifically what got my mind churning here is a thread where someone makes degrading comments about someone because they worked at McDonald's. For the people that didn't work there, I would like to mention that there are many CEOs that worked there, I worked there, and my two best friends who are doctors worked there. I wouldn't be surprised if many of us worked there. I would bet a lot of US adults worked at a fast food place as kids.

The other item that fits this mold is talking about the People of Walmart page and the general degredation of those that shop there. I get it if you don't want to shop there because it is the big corporate steamroller. But do we need to talk bad about the people that shop there?

So the Educational Moment that I see here is how is it right for us to talk down about any other member of society when that is exactly what we are fighting against ourselves? We have people that do treat us bad and a lot of them can be educated because I believe a lot of the responses are from them not having dealt with us before. We really are all breaking fairly new ground and have to think that way. So while we fight that battle, how about if we act in the same manner we want others to act and not talk about other people because of where they work or shop, who they date, where they live (dang hicks) and what they wear? We yell about not labelling ourselves here often and turn right around and do it to others. Maybe it is time we treat others as we keep wanting them to treat us. Seems fair.

Persephone
09-24-2010, 04:29 PM
Amen, amen, amen, Sue!

You are so right on! I'm also tired of the people who make disparaging comments about other peoples religion, beliefs, values, and politics.

MichelleL
09-24-2010, 04:42 PM
Absolute agreement. I was thinking about the people of Walmart thing just this morning and thinking exactly what you said here. Well stated. A little tolerance for others goes a long way.

Kathi Lake
09-24-2010, 05:33 PM
Agreed! I've always tried to keep a civil tongue in my head. As my father was Hispanic, German, Native American, Black, Spanish, and many others, I'm basically a mutt - I can't afford to be racist without biting my own tail. :)

I worked at a fast food place while starting out, am now a crossdresser, a member of the religious community, one of America's killing machines - the military - (or so I have been called), have been known to shop at WalMart, and have voted Democratic in the last bunch of elections, and much, much more. If there's anyone more "insult-worthy" than me, I haven't found them. So, I try to view everyone in the best light possible, and never tear anyone down.

So, thanks for the rant, Sue! Good words.

Kathi

Michelle James
09-24-2010, 05:34 PM
I agree. BTW clear out some of your old PM's your box is full

eluuzion
09-24-2010, 05:54 PM
Maybe it is time we treat others as we keep wanting them to treat us. Seems fair.

"You should always treat other people in the same manner you would like to be treated (nice). That makes it easier for other people to indentify you as a loser and take advantage of you". :heehee:

Sahwee bout' dat'...I just couldn't resist that one...

"It is better to offer a hand, than to point a finger".

K, all better now...:battingeyelashes:

Considering my twisted outlook, it was tough raising a child and instilling a sound respect for other people. I am always talking aloud to myself and making up distorted scenarios that describe everything around me. It takes a little while for new people to get used to me and realize I am not a lunatic or escaped psychopath. I poke fun at myself as much as I do others. But I never degrade or disrespect them...that is never "fun" or "amusing".

When my daughter was young, I was concerned she might not understand my humor and learn some bad social skills. I was the one (single dad) that always had the sleepovers & B-Day parties at my house. Most week-ends, I would have at least 3 girlfriends of my daughter's spending the night. (big rec-room with a soundstage/microphones/lights/music. It all worked out well since they all thought I was just "nuts". I was referred to as "random" by all of them.

I always enforced the "respect and empathy rule" with all of them. Kids can be brutal, especially girls. Once they get their turn to be the one made fun of or "left out" by the "gang", they understand how fragile others are and respect people.
Actually was quite an interesting realization to watch each of them "figure it out" on their own. It is contagious once it sets in...they are all good kids now...16 yrs later....expensive...but good...lol

They all just look at me, smile and shake their heads now...lol

so, yes I agree, there is no merit in exploiting others...

Lucy_Bella
09-24-2010, 07:06 PM
Ok ....I will be honest here....Yes ...I do!!!! So lets help me ... I am bad at accepting those who are like me..

Alice Torn
09-24-2010, 07:26 PM
The worst persecution, and torture, are from parents who believe you are thrie property to control for life, or siblings who d3edicate their lives to making us miserable.

Hope
09-25-2010, 03:35 AM
It is reflection, we react most strongly to the things we see in others that we hate about ourselves, or are most worried about seeing in ourselves. It is the same reason why that one guy (almost invariably a fundamentalist republican) who is most homophobic is eventually caught at a gay bar. It is the same reason why a lot of TG girls a bit uncomfortable in groups of others. You see some other girl's beard shadow, it reminds you of your own. It is why you can't invite a recovering alcoholic to a party.

The things we can't control, but most hate about ourselves are the things we REALLY hate about other people - particularly if those other people dare to not have the same self-loathing we have. It's not cool, but it is normal.

charlotte_sp
09-25-2010, 03:56 AM
@Sue: Completely agree with your sentiments! Thank you for posting them.

It's simply about respect.

Cassandra Lynn
09-25-2010, 11:23 AM
I couldn't agree more and this is alot of the reason i haven't spent as much time around here the past 4 months. Honestly though, i have been guilty of this behavior myself and i'm working on it.
In particular, as Persephone points out, the way we treat each other here in regards to values, beliefs and politics.
There are some here who find it necessary to bring up our male hobbies as being unacceptable, if we are to truely be feminine.

We are here to support each other, period . end of story, and the same goes to how we treat society in general. Thanx for bringing it up Sue, and reminding us.
mj (Cassie)

Asako
09-25-2010, 11:44 AM
So if we get so mad when people make assumptions about us (pervs, gay when we aren't, whatever) then why do we turn around and trash other people too? Specifically what got my mind churning here is a thread where someone makes degrading comments about someone because they worked at McDonald's. For the people that didn't work there, I would like to mention that there are many CEOs that worked there, I worked there, and my two best friends who are doctors worked there. I wouldn't be surprised if many of us worked there. I would bet a lot of US adults worked at a fast food place as kids.Since I still work in fast food, it's probably a good thing I missed this thread you speak of.



Maybe it is time we treat others as we keep wanting them to treat us. Seems fair.Err...*feels even more guilty about another post of hers in this section* Yea, I was a little harsh. >.>


I must say, sometimes...I am guilty of this but thankfully, not often. My parents made a very solid attempt to instill kindness and empathy in me. I have to say...I think their attempts worked. Once in a while, something cruel or mean will cross my mind when someone irks me considerably but I immediately squash it with a similar kind of reasoning.