Is crossdressing a curse or a blessing (sorry to be so long winded)

[bridget jones]

I remember when I was 5 or 6 wearing a camisole and panties for the first time,silky smooth feeling. I have no Idea what made me put it on but the feeling was unexplainable at he time. I would later steel my mothers knee highs,hide them in my room and wear them when ever I could. I never thought anything about it and for some reason stopped. Now that I became a pre-teem/teen I remember wearing my mother and my sisters clothes,all attire. I would wear panties,girdles,bras,jeans,blouses and dresses....let's not forget the high heels. I would stay in the bathroom for long periods of time putting on their make up and laying in the tub only to wash it off then go to bed. I remember getting my drivers licsense at 16 and going to the wig shop after my first paycheck to buy a wig. I always had times when I would just stop but it came back in a fury to dress even more. In my late teens and early twenties it was more sexual,I would actually get excited and when IT came I hated myself for being a freak and wanted to die. Believe it or not that didn't stop me from wanting more. I actually went to a wig shop and purchased a gorgeous wig that I could not style at home. I was so desparate to get it right I got all dolled up (make up,dress,heels,totally shaved) and went back to the boutique where I purchased the wig,wearing my ol trusty wig of course. I walked in with wig in bag in hand and explained that I was having a hard time styling it,the girl working was absolutely wonderful as she said come on back we'll see what we can do. As I took my wig off all she said was "oh I see". She explained everything she was doing with the hair as she set and styled it and I left there feeling gorgeous,you know young and beautiful. I will never forget how the wind blew up my dress that night. Eventually I bought breast forms and a hip/butt panty. I was a CD from head to toe and when IT came I ripped all girly things off and wanted to die. I later got married threw all away had kids,divorced,had girlfriends,broke up and it is still in my mind. Crossdressing is my curse but the feelings I get when I dress is a blessing. I still don't know why I feel this way,why me?

[Loni]

well it is a curse for my wallet.
it is a blessing as i can understand my self a bit better.
it is a curse as some of my friends can not ever know...me
it is a blessing as some of my friends know..................me
it is a curse for having a gg friend
it is a blessing for a gg friend
it is a curse for?
it is a blessing for?
hard to get a answer. easier to ask what is the meaning of life from a super giant tv addicted multi million year old computer.

[Nick2Nikki]

It is not a curse or a blessing. It just is. You can either embrace this part of you, and call it a blessing, or you can hate it, and call it a curse. This is true of all things, sometimes you may feel they are a blessing, other times they may feel like a curse. You simply must play with the cards you are dealt.

[Dora Faye]

The blessing is that you realized it. The curse is having to deal with it in the "real" world.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It can be a curse if you are want to find a GG partner (or keep a GG SO, as a recent thread about divorce illustrates) :(

[Kate Simmons]

Just like anything else, a lot depends on how it is utilized.:)

[KathyC]

Its not a curse nor blessing, I was having the same question as you do about a month ago.
you love & believe in yourself more than anyones, don't feel bad about Cding & caused the divorced & broke up with girlfriends. In the society, we all believe all men must married & have children, I am not saying its bad.
I have been pushing myself to find a wife or a steady girlfriend awhile back, but everything turn nasty, lies & big waste of money.
Now I am more focus at my work, my boss gave me a thumbs up yesterday (he never ever does that to anyone even they do the job right), I make decent income so i can buy kathy clothes & other stuff that I like.
Learn to really truely love yourself first before getting into another relationship. Kathy will leave me once I find my otherhalf, hey! this is not really a bad experience as a CDer.
Cheers!

[sissystephanie]

I agree with several others. Crossdressing is neither a curse or a blessing. It is just something we do that we like. Yes, it can be a "curse" on your wallet, believe me I know! But wearing those beautiful things can certainly be a "blessing." Don't try to put labels on something that we do naturally. Just go with the flow and enjoy being pretty!!

[MichelleL]

I think the "curse" you are really talking about is the curse of not having resolved all of the inner conflict that this issue raised in you. Until you resolve that conflict between the rational, thinking you and the emotional, human you, you will continue to carry this "curse." (I have not completely resolved this inner conflict either but I am getting better.)

[AKAMichelle]

I think the answer to this question is dependent upon your own level of acceptance.

Long time ago when I hid my cd'ing and purged multiple times the answer is it was a curse. Nothing good ever causes those feelings of dispair, self-loathing. You hide it because you know that is it wrong in so many people's eyes. You don't want to be viewed that way so you hide. Your spouse many times doesn't know because you are telling lies and deceiving her. That causes some very terrrible consequences if you are discovered before you are ready. Even after you tell them it is still viewed negatively for some time by many spouses and we don't help our case since we were the ones hiding, lying and covering it up. Politicians never get in trouble for the act, but for the coverup.

When I finally began to accept myself, I learned the truth about cd'ing. It had both good and bad things and depending upon how we acted determined many times the benefits or consequences. So I began to learn how to receive the benefits and joys of cd'ing and avoid the negatives. I still don't know if I have everything right or if there is more to learn but I finally enjoying the journey.

I hope everyone will learn from my journey and see that only by accepting themselves can they ever see the good things about cd'ing. The temporary feelings of joy and excitement when you try on the clothes doesn't last. Many times we go through a period where we get so excited for an hour or so and then quickly have to take the clothes off in shame and guilt. We won't even dress again for several days or weeks. There is so much more to cd'ing than meets the eye. It takes a long time to understand even a little bit about it and I hope everyone on here can get to the point where they accept themselves and cd'ing quits being a curse.

[Shayna2008]

It's interesting that I saw this thread here this morning, as I have been pondering this question for the last few days. I've seen 3 therapists, been dealing with this since before elementary school age, and have come out to several people over the years, including my parents. Yet I still don't know why I'm doing this, or what the future holds for me. I really feel lost now since I've recently realized that I'm not as comfortable with myself as I thought I was. I still have issues with going out in the world as Shayna - it scares me. Yet I want to meet people and have a social life and have them know the real me. It's a sinister set of circumstances.

[Elle1946]

I think that you are walking down the road that most of us have walked. I know that I did. Right now I have decided to sit back and smell the roses. I am a CDer and will always be.

[ArleneRaquel]

Its a bit of both. The cost and the potential loss of friends are a curse. But the blessings far outweight the curses. As Arlene my circle of friends & experiences has vastly increased and my level of acceptance of people who are different has also increased. Being a full time woman my amount " judgemental " judgements has fallen and I look at things in a vastly expanded way. My distrust level has diminished and I feel that I am a much better person now that I live as Arlene. :battingeyelashes:

[LitaKelley]

Hmm.. definitely a curse on my wallet.

[ArleneRaquel]

Hmm.. definitely a curse on my wallet.

Yes it is, but I prefer to look at the bright side. :battingeyelashes:

[Inna]

Turmoil, confusion, doubt, anger, frustration, well if that ain't curse then I don't know what is! But more interestingly all those feelings come about not from our own estimate of our self but our self in the eyes of societal oppression. If it was up to us individually then such curse turns into bliss, wonder, sensuality, vulnerability, femininity, all those point to a blessing rather than curse. So the difference lies in how you view your self. Which is important, to feel centered with society, or your self? I suppose ask your self a question, when near the end, would you rather lived life the way others wanted you to be and shoved your soul deep down into abyss or lived as who you are within and let your soul soar free?

[Kelly Greene]

Yes:

[Annaliese2010]

Neither curse nor blessing to me. It just... is what it is.

[Karren H]

A friggin curse!!! My life would be so much simpler if I could pick just one gender and stay there... Either one and I'd be happy. I not picky. Slip a coin. But nooooo.... I know that's not what was dealt me so I accept it and embrace who I am and move forward...

[Andrea Reynolds]

Is crossdressing a curse or a blessing? I believe the correct answer is yes. Andrea

[Anneliese]

I love who I am when dressed, but there's no question it's killing me financially.

[Ryank]

Um. Like a couple of others here I'm going with yes!!

[suchacutie]

Being in a minority is usually rather difficult, no matter what that minority may be. Being different has its costs, one way or another. I'm not sure I would call that a curse, but more the "cost of doing business"! As Karren said above, life would be simpler in only one gender, but then again, I do love a challenge. Being transgendered is certainly that! The rewards in knowing one's self are even sweeter when one understands the challenges needed to be met to get there!

tina

[CalamityJane]

Is crossdressing a curse or a blessing

Well as with most situations it rather depends on the angle that you are approaching it from....are you a pessimist or an optomist.....do you see the glass as half empty or half full??, your general outlook on life may have a bearing on how you feel towards crossdressing. It is also a situation which has a dynamic nature attached to it, for example you may find that your SO is more accepting of your crossdressing somedays more than others, and from what I have learned from reading post on the forum crossdressing can be very corrosive on relationship, it takes a very understanding SO to be OK with your crossdressing activities.

So be it a curse or a blessing is dependent on many factors, as no two crossdressers are alike or have the same goals in life, some of us are happy to part-dress for some of the time, some like to be fully dressed but not venture outside the house, whilst others desire to be dressed 24/7 and do so. Therefore level of dressing time is another key factor.

One anomaly that I have observed in the replies to this thread is those who cite the effect that crossdressing has on the wallet. Firstly I am surprised that its your "wallet" and not your "pocket book" , but back to the point, I by no means have a large amount of disposable income, infact far from it, but I have over time learned to pace myself and to not leave me or the household short of money. Yes you can argue that any money spent on crossdressing is a foolish waste, and that the money could be better spent on something else, but where do you draw the line, some people enjoy smoking, others like to drink .....I think you get the general idea, we all chose to spend our money in our own personal ways.

So....Curse or Blessing....you decide.....only you really know the true answer??

[FionaO]

A curse or a blessing? That's an interesting one. I do spend a lot of money on clothes but a lot less in a year than it would take to join a golf club for example, so that aspect doesn't bother me.
I love the company of beautiful women especially when they are nicely dressed and I think my CDing stems from trying to be like them. I recently came to the conclusion that if it wasn't for my CDing I would be a terrible philanderer. However I have been happily married for 30 years and have never been in anyway unfaithful. Hence in many ways CDing has kept me faithful to my beautiful wife and kept my family together.

[BRANDYJ]

To me it's been both but at different times and for different reasons. Once I accepted myself and educated myself on what it is to be a crossdresser, I then began to see it mostly as a blessing in many ways. Yet, there are still some areas where it can be a curse of sorts. But would I change who I am? Not on your life. I am happy with the way I am.

[NicoleScott]

It's just the cards that were dealt. Some of us got the queen.

[BRANDYJ]

It's just the cards that were dealt. Some of us got the queen.

Now why does this remind me of an old song...."From a Jack to a King, I played an Ace and won a Queen" Maybe the words of the song should be...from a Jack to a King, I played in lace and now I'm a Queen. lol

[sonna]

we are all blessings .

[janice murray]

I would say both.

[Karinsamatha]

Yes it can be both. I am now finding it to be more of a blessing for a couple of reasons.
1. It has allowed me to be a complete person.
2. Put me intouch with feelings that I had burried so so deep - hence feeling as a complete person.
3. I am much happier when dressed, which translates to being happier when not dressed.
A curse because.
1. I am expensive:sad:.

[sabrinaedwards]

As others who have replied, yes crossdressing can be a curse. I can tell you this, however, crossdressing has made me a better person. I am more open minded, more caring and generally warm hearted. I still embrace thefeeing of anticipation as I transform to Sabrina.

[robynanderson]

I think it is a bit of both some parts are awesome and I would not trade for the world, other parts stink, I just try to focus as much as I can on the positive.

[Frédérique]

Crossdressing is my curse but the feelings I get when I dress is a blessing. I still don't know why I feel this way,why me?

It’s a blessed curse, or a cursed blessing, depending on how you choose to feel about it. I see (or feel) it as a blessing. Why not? It doesn’t go away, because there is some need to be fulfilled by crossdressing. In your case, the “blessing” takes the form of certain feelings you obviously enjoy. Why not just carry on and let the feelings guide you along? It’s wonderful that you’re here, at long last, able to talk about these, dare I say…beautiful, feelings. Even if I came to view my beloved crossdressing as some kind of curse, I would still do it, simply because I have to. Why you? Why me? Why us? Many questions, but no answers, just like everything else in life, but you can take this mixed blessing and make it into something personal and uniquely special simply by embracing the obvious…

BTW, if you think YOU"RE long-winded, what does that make me? :doh:

[Patty B.]

I guess its both, and depending on what part of my life I look at, I considered it a curse or something like that and now that I've been outed to family and probably society I guess its a blessed curse or a cursed blessing not sure yet, but am coming to terms with my cd'ing. I agree with Karen it'd be much easier to be one or the other, this mix can have consequences, intended and unintended. It now appears my wife has me out to family and probably a lot at work, now she wants me out to the whole world, and I know my level of acceptance of cd'ing isn't there yet. She says so long as I dont out myself to all guy friends or relatives she's living a lie and can't live that way. Told her a last summer after 28 years married, obviously should have told her before, but in 70's and 1980 just didn't have that info and certainly wasn't comfortable with myself, thought it would go away and never return. Wrong. But my wife doesn't accept this and our relationship has gone from acceptance to complete rejection. We only have one chance in life, make it a good one.

[Heather J]

I have found it to be both a blessing and a curse

[Aprilrain]

I always wanted to be different. I guess I should have specified! Oh well. Believe me there are worse things like detoxing from opiates. of course once they are out of your system that's it. Good luck getting the TG out of your system. Ha ha ha.

[justbejulie2]

In my real life I am very analyical.....(I'm most definitely not Julie) LOL.
Does it make you feel good?
Does it hurt anyone?
If it's yes and no, it's right for you.
I've been hiding it for 20 years, but am now separated, able to dress daily, and loving it. Am I hurting anyone? No.
So is OK?
Hmmmm, I don't see why not.
Julie (still can't get used to a new name, joined just this week) Fab feeling.

[KarenSusan]

Basically, I think it is a curse. The problem is, that were I given the choice to get rid of it and be a normal male, I don't think I would.

[Noemi]

Bridget,
We are all expressions of the Universe. Various shadings of sexuality and temperaments. The CDing is one way for us to connect to the force that we are all bound to, that force expresses itself through our cding. We are a man who is able to feel feminine, there are many subtle feelings/observations that are availed to us because we, I will use the word choose, to go with the flow of the urge to dress. Do not resist, continue to discuss your thoughts and you will achieve some healthy perspective. Cding needs to be discussed, it is a source of internal conflict. But as we all have experienced, the man and woman acting together inside us drives a powerful engine. These are higher thoughts, the cding is not a bad thing, it is expression. Even the reactions it draws from others reshapes how our world is perceived. The biggest to the smallest and everything in between, with the biggest and smallest continually redefining themselves..
Now I am off to Macy's.com to look at panties and dresses....:battingeyelashes:

[MichelleOhioCD]

Both - but the older I get the more I see it as a blessing. Maybe it has to do with identifying with some of the women I know and how much pleasure they seem to get supporting each other. I feel more and more that I want to part of that sisterhood.

[PuniPuni]

I consider it a blessing that I'm in a sex that allows me to experiment this way. There's a high level of violence correlated with women who dress like men...

[CharleneCD]

It is an absolute blessing in my case. I am dual gendered enough that I do not fit in well with the average male in society. It has been that way as far back as I can remember. I couldnt see a difference but the other boys could and made my life hell for it. I remember very well being called gay and girlish. Unlike the average TS, I didnt have any body disphoria to clue me in on what was going on, so I just tried to change how I approached things and pushed as hard as I could to never do anything that could be considered feminine. I was still different and others could still see it. I ended up spending almost 3 decades going through times of extreme self hatred with an external hatred of gays or any guy who would wear a dress. Thank god that last part ended in my mid 20's. Then by accident when the wife wanted to dress me up for Halloween, something finally clicked due to trying on the right peice of clothing. This led to trying more and then realizing what I was. It was like opening the door to come out of the darkness into sunlight. I now understand so much more about myself and am comfortable living within my own skin. The only curse is the closed mindedness of general society in that I am not free to fully express myself without recieving abuse.