Help im freaking out!

[Iztlacihuatl]

So I guess this is what I get for doing it. Anyways I posed an add on craigslis and this guy emailed me this!

"I know who you are, you live at (I removed the name) apts."

what should I do?!?!?! I'm so scare!!!!

What if he tells my parents?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Marissa]

so was he cruising the cd/ts/tg listings or what? so that is a good thing if he was..more weight for you.. see if he responds once more.. and then decide..its the chances you take by posting on such a large websit.. good luck with that..

Hugs,
Marissa

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe u should tell them FIRST!?

[Iztlacihuatl]

Maybe u should tell them FIRST!?

my mom is soo religious she would die from a heart attack if she knew i did that

i was thinking of maybe sending him this

"well gus are you looking for CDs and TS?or what made you cruise in that section? anyways i wouldn't do anything with someone who lives too near it would be awkward."

[charlotte_sp]

I guess first off, don't panic and don't do anything rash.

Was that the entire message he sent?
It sounds hella creepy, but sometimes people are just oblivious to how something will sound.

My two cents:

1. Don't respond.
2. Be a little more careful than usual if you go out alone.
3. If there are any threatening messages, call the police.

[Iztlacihuatl]

Yes that's the entire messege he sent.

I will be careful and I always carry a knife just in case anything happens.

And i will call the police good idea.

I just hope this doesn't end up outing me.

[charlotte_sp]

I don't think the police will do anything with just that message, so it might not be worth calling them yet.
I sent you a PM with some numbers you can call.

If he does send anything threatening, please do call the police.
Um, I have to add that I think a knife is not a good idea, but hopefully it will not come that.

If you're mostly worried about being outed, then please give those numbers a look.

[Iztlacihuatl]

I don't think the police will do anything with just that message, so it might not be worth calling them yet.
I sent you a PM with some numbers you can call.

If he does send anything threatening, please do call the police.
Um, I have to add that I think a knife is not a good idea, but hopefully it will not come that.

If you're mostly worried about being outed, then please give those numbers a look.

Oh yea of course i mean if the emailed me and furthered threatened me i would call them.

Yea i dont wanna come to that but i prefer to face charges for using a weapon that having my folks to to my funeral.

im actually thinking now that just being outed would be the best out of all the bad outcomes. i think ill call those numbers tmw after work.

[Hope]

It may be that he is on a fishing expedition to see if you will confirm his suspicion. He may think he knows who you are, but he may not. If you respond in any sort of defensive way, you will simply be confirming his suspicion. It may be that he is just trying to get a rise out of you. If you haven't already responded, consider ignoring him.

If you have responded, and confirmed his suspicions, and let him know that he has rattled your cage, you should do your best to try to get as much information from him as you can. Get him to give up his identity. Be realistic, this is someone who knows you - chances are good you know him. If he is not forthcoming with his identity, let him know that you have copied his super creepy email to several different email accounts (and actually do this), and that if anything happens to you, he will be the prime suspect the police will be looking for.

Do your self a favor and take down whatever ad or profile you have up, and anything associated with it. If this guy is going to try to out you, make it harder for him. And be prepared to be out with your parents. Be prepared for a poor response from your mother, have a "go bag" packed and ready if you need to leave in a flash, have a friend in mind who will let you crash on his sofa for a few weeks if you need to. You may not need it, but like the girl scouts say, be prepared.

[Dora Faye]

Yeah don't respond to this jackass and block his emails. F'ing jackass. Want me to put a gypsy curse on him? ;)

[Iztlacihuatl]

Yea put a Curse!

And Hope I'm glad I put a msg here I knew more ppl who weren't panicking like me would have good ideas. Thank you all!!

and yea I did remove any further adds and pics. took all down.

[PortiaHoney]

Carrying a knife for protection can easily turn into it being a handy weapon for your aggressor. You don't want to be the person who provides the means for your own demise.

[Dora Faye]

Yea put a Curse!

Shazaam! Done.

[7sisters]

Please do not carry a knife.
I think Hope has given you excellent advice. All websites beguile you into a false sense of anonymity. Dont fall for it. I'd say dont respond. And please pull down all your photos and info off other websites. Please do this as a personal favour for me. The only way to fight a blackmailer is to come clean.

[Stephenie S]

As several have said, don't respond to this stuff. Ignore it totally. Stay off the internet sites like that. Whatever were you thinking?

Don't carry a knife. Don't go anywhere you think you might need a knife. If you think you will need a knife where you are going, you shouldn't be going there. If you are going out as female, don't go out alone. Girls don't go out alone.

Try to involve your parents. They love you and will be a part of your life for a very long time. Believe me, your mother may be upset, but she won't have a heart attack. Learning about CDing never killed anyone.

Stephie

[Asako]

One of my sisters had a really creepy experience with a man who interviewed her for a job. He did a search for her name and started confirming things she never put out on the internet like the school that my 9 yr old niece went to at the time. If he listed the name of the apartments you live at, then he knows enough about you to warrant extreme caution and even more extreme awareness of your surroundings and those around you. Now, I'd suggest a search of this person's e-mail on every social site that you know of. Start with craig's list. Try to find out as much information as you can on this person in return. Just remember not to let the fear and anxiety overwhelm your mind. Keep it in check so you can keep making sound decisions on how to deal with this person.

[Gerrijerry]

yes go to the police. Tell them what happened. and hopfully you still have the persons email to you or reply. You will be surprised but it can be tracked by the police.

[Asako]

You will be surprised but it can be tracked by the police.Now that I think about it...don't the larger police forces have units that specialize in dealing with cyber crime?

[Josie M]

I agree with the other posts, DON'T carry a knife. Besides making the situation even more dangerous, it's also a concealed weapon. If you must, go with pepper spray.

I suggest you just lay low for now and see if he follows up. Also, pull your add. It's clear that you were not ready to be outed. There are support groups and other generally safer crossdressing outlets then craigslist.

[donnalee]

I've carried a knife for most of my life. It used to be a Buck 112, but that became a problem as it was so heavy it caused undue wear to my clothes. After going through a number of different options, I am now carrying a Ken Onion designed Kershaw "Leek". It has a California legal 3 1/2" blade , and an assisted opening design, which makes it as fast and easy as a switch blade (I have peripheral neuropathy, which makes a manual knife difficult to use). To me, a knife is just a tool; I firmly believe that everyone should carry a sharp knife and know how to use it safely. This does NOT mean one should use it to threaten people or brandish it as a weapon; self defense, however, is everybody's right and California, thank God, at least, has a Castle Law. I find the reluctance of some on this forum to take responsibilty for their own and their family's safety more than a little dismaying.

[Kathryn Martin]

Sorry but I have got to ask: Why are you posting an ad on Craigslist. And I presume the ad was not for selling your car. Given the news cycle surrounding Craigslist it's like an invitation to get killed, like Stalkers Grand Central Station. Carrying a knife? Have you ever considered what it feels like to stick a knife into another human being even in self-defence. Self-defence as a defence to assault causing bodily harm requires you to prove that there was no other way out of the situation than to defend. So, If your Stalker Creep gets you cornered, you then have a choice (mind you likely in high heels short skirt and tight top, wig that blows all over your face etc.) pull out your "legal" knife of 3.5 " blade length, and after he has taken it away from you and stuck in you to go to the hospital, or to go to jail because you stuck him and cannot explain how you could not avoid the situation in the first place.

You should have a talk with your parents and tell them about yourself. Then you should go to the police and tell them about this. Finally, grow up a little and recognize that Craigs List the the wrong way to find a romantic partner.

Kathryn

[MichelleL]

Wow! I really have nothing to add other than to add my agreement to what has already been said. Hope gave great advice. I am also very concerned about you carrying a knife for protection. Unless you are trained to use it in a street fight, I think it could very well do you more harm than good.

Please be VERY careful!

[AKAMichelle]

It appears that you posted a picture and that is how the person found you. The person may just be someone who lives in your apartment complex and haven't really met you before. Otherwise he wouldn't know where you lived. He apparently was looking to hook up with someone and he might have been using the email as a way to get your attention and cut the ice with you. My gut response is that he was just trying to talk with you and didn't understand how scary it would be.

We have all been that creepy guy before. We are out there and see someone that we would like to know and we take the long shot chance and start talking with them. If it is another guy then we may be successful but if it a woman then she will most likely looking for an exit. She doesn't feel safe so she will try and get away. You didn't mean any harm and weren't trying to be creepy you just wanted to take her out on a date. Most of the time you are just playing the odds and looking for that one in a million who will give you her phone # and agree on a date with you. What is it that happens most of the time? We strike out!

This guy sounds like he was trying and lost. Unfortunately he may try to find you at the apt complex sometime, but I don't think he will be dangereous to you. Think about it from this perspective. He has seen you out and about in the complex and he thought you were very out and didn't care who knew. He thought that he could approach you very easily, but he didn't know that you were hiding and scared to death. If he was interested in you, then he will try to meet you again and he may or may not tell you that he was the guy on craigslist.

P.S. Don't post anything on an open site that you don't want everyone to see. Your parents or a friend of theirs could have been that person who saw you. In fact they may already know.

[Asako]

Kathryn, I do believe your response over her carrying a knife is a bit ridiculous. You make it sound like a laughable attempt to defend herself. Not to mention how you rail on her as if she never considered the possibility of what might happen if she had to use it for self-defense. Who is going to protect Iztlacihuatl? Iztlacihuatl will and no one else. If...IF~! someone hears her screaming for help, they may decide to even turn around and walk away to avoid being caught up in it. On that note, who's to say that she wouldn't miss with a can of pepper spray, get disarmed of it, and get sprayed by the assailant in turn?

Take it from someone who got the absolute s!@t beat out of them in high school while everyone INCLUDING the people who I THOUGHT were friends just stood there and LAUGHED AT ME. Nobody but the teachers moved to help me. I suffered vision damage in my left eye because of how badly I got beat up for having a gay friend. I can't see things as distinctly either in that same eye as I can with my right eye. As for my friend who was gay, he got hit from behind when he was alone and got a worse beating than I did BECAUSE he was alone. Nobody will defend you but yourself.

I know this should have been a PM but I really can't stand it when people feel the need to tear on others who carry something "unconventional" like a knife for self defense.

[TGMarla]

Scroo 'im. Don't act scared. His little skeletons are probably as bad as yours. In a while, this will all pass, and you'll have it all behind you. Ignore his threats, and move on with your life as usual.

[Kitty Sue]

As previously said, I would not respond.

[Kathryn Martin]

Kathryn, I do believe your response over her carrying a knife is a bit ridiculous. You make it sound like a laughable attempt to defend herself. Not to mention how you rail on her as if she never considered the possibility of what might happen if she had to use it for self-defense. Who is going to protect Iztlacihuatl? Iztlacihuatl will and no one else. If...IF~! someone hears her screaming for help, they may decide to even turn around and walk away to avoid being caught up in it. On that note, who's to say that she wouldn't miss with a can of pepper spray, get disarmed of it, and get sprayed by the assailant in turn?

Take it from someone who got the absolute s!@t beat out of them in high school while everyone INCLUDING the people who I THOUGHT were friends just stood there and LAUGHED AT ME. Nobody but the teachers moved to help me. I suffered vision damage in my left eye because of how badly I got beat up for having a gay friend. I can't see things as distinctly either in that same eye as I can with my right eye. As for my friend who was gay, he got hit from behind when he was alone and got a worse beating than I did BECAUSE he was alone. Nobody will defend you but yourself.

I know this should have been a PM but I really can't stand it when people feel the need to tear on others who carry something "unconventional" like a knife for self defense.

Asako, I completely understand your point, however, there are are several things I'd like to say:

Firstly, I found it absolutely astounding that not one person on here spoke about the obvious, how on earth would you advertise in Craigs list for a partner in the TV section and get anyone other than a creep trolling for meat? Do you think Craigs list is an appropriate place to find a romantic partner, or even a one night stand? And, with respect that is where Iztlacihuatl's story begins. Would prudence not dictate to be very circumspect with that outfit especially given the recent history or murders surrounding it.

I am 56, I grew up in the 60s and 70s. I don't know what you think of those times but do you believe my world growing up was any less forgiving. I remember the bullying, the humiliation, the beatings, the being made fun of every day all the way through school and the many times I got home and swore I would never go again. I learned how to defend myself and gave many guys a black eye, for which invariably I was punished. This did not stop the violence but rather next time they were two guys beating me up. It escalated, and eventually I asked myself if I wanted to be the person who constantly lived in fear, carried a knife and lived with the possibility of having to do serious damage to someone else. It is often the choice of whether you can't live because you are being violently attacked or you can't live with yourself because you violently defend yourself. The beatings and the humiliation got so bad eventually at age 15 that my parents took me out of the school and sent me to a boarding school in England (I grew up in Germany) a thousand miles from home where I had a chance to get a fresh start. When I returned one year later, I was no longer the center of the attention of the bullies and kind of slipped under the radar after that. I still have nigthmares. Worst of it all I didn't understand why this was happening to me, but I guess I was great punch bag because I always was visibly disturbed and unhappy and hurt after those events.

Now then let's get to the knife issue. Tell me what you think about the following: Police are investigating a stabbing in some alley, where a girl is standing over some dude who is bleeding from several knife wounds and moaning. Except turns out girl is a dude too, who as it turns out met dude through a Craigs list ad; or met Dude just on the street. Girl who has has by now been identified as dude claims she was attacked by dude because she is dressed like a girl. But the facts are there is one seriously injured person and a dude pretending to be a girl. Do you really think that the police will conclude as follows: Man, dude dressed like girl (laugh, what a ........ [your choice of expletive]) was attacked by dude. We better arrest the bleeder who'se in hospital, 'cause he's the bad guy here. Do you think that is a likely outcome? Who do you think gets arrested?

No weapon is a good means of defending yourself. I know it's unfair and all that, I have been at the receiving end just like you. But who do we want to be as human beings? I chose to be not one of them, never, I'd rather die.

Kathryn

[Saren]

Asako, I completely understand your point, however, there are are several things I'd like to say:

Firstly, I found it absolutely astounding that not one person on here spoke about the obvious, how on earth would you advertise in Craigs list for a partner in the TV section and get anyone other than a creep trolling for meat? Do you think Craigs list is an appropriate place to find a romantic partner, or even a one night stand? And, with respect that is where Iztlacihuatl's story begins. Would prudence not dictate to be very circumspect with that outfit especially given the recent history or murders surrounding it.

I am 56, I grew up in the 60s and 70s. I don't know what you think of those times but do you believe my world growing up was any less forgiving. I remember the bullying, the humiliation, the beatings, the being made fun of every day all the way through school and the many times I got home and swore I would never go again. I learned how to defend myself and gave many guys a black eye, for which invariably I was punished. This did not stop the violence but rather next time they were two guys beating me up. It escalated, and eventually I asked myself if I wanted to be the person who constantly lived in fear, carried a knife and lived with the possibility of having to do serious damage to someone else. It is often the choice of whether you can't live because you are being violently attacked or you can't live with yourself because you violently defend yourself. The beatings and the humiliation got so bad eventually at age 15 that my parents took me out of the school and sent me to a boarding school in England (I grew up in Germany) a thousand miles from home where I had a chance to get a fresh start. When I returned one year later, I was no longer the center of the attention of the bullies and kind of slipped under the radar after that. I still have nigthmares. Worst of it all I didn't understand why this was happening to me, but I guess I was great punch bag because I always was visibly disturbed and unhappy and hurt after those events.

Now then let's get to the knife issue. Tell me what you think about the following: Police are investigating a stabbing in some alley, where a girl is standing over some dude who is bleeding from several knife wounds and moaning. Except turns out girl is a dude too, who as it turns out met dude through a Craigs list ad; or met Dude just on the street. Girl who has has by now been identified as dude claims she was attacked by dude because she is dressed like a girl. But the facts are there is one seriously injured person and a dude pretending to be a girl. Do you really think that the police will conclude as follows: Man, dude dressed like girl (laugh, what a ........ [your choice of expletive]) was attacked by dude. We better arrest the bleeder who'se in hospital, 'cause he's the bad guy here. Do you think that is a likely outcome? Who do you think gets arrested?

No weapon is a good means of defending yourself. I know it's unfair and all that, I have been at the receiving end just like you. But who do we want to be as human beings? I chose to be not one of them, never, I'd rather die.

Kathryn

The way you put that is fantastic. Especially that 2nd to last paragraph. Which person seems more suspicious?

[kristinacd55]

First thing. Don't advertise on Craigslist! Stick to this website. He definitely is a creep... Major creep.

[Asako]

Firstly, I found it absolutely astounding that not one person on here spoke about the obvious, how on earth would you advertise in Craigs list for a partner in the TV section and get anyone other than a creep trolling for meat? Do you think Craigs list is an appropriate place to find a romantic partner, or even a one night stand? And, with respect that is where Iztlacihuatl's story begins. Would prudence not dictate to be very circumspect with that outfit especially given the recent history or murders surrounding it.Here I was thinking it was another one of those ridiculous "on-line" dating sites. No, I'm not being sarcastic about that either. I really mean that's what I thought the site was. I have to admit, now having an idea of the site's nature, that I too wonder what was being thought at the time.

Sounds like you had a childhood somewhat similar to mine. Constant harassment, being bullied left and right. Occasionally fighting because there was no other option. It wasn't until my parents moved in my junior year of high school that I got to experience my first "normal" day in school. "normal" as in what you described. Being left alone, not having to constantly look over my shoulder, or being afraid to use the bathrooms on campus.

I would rather be the "guy in a dress" getting arrested for Assault with Deadly Intent than the victim waking up in the hospital seeing their parents worrying about them. Assuming I wasn't found dead in a ditch. My oldest sister was stalked and harassed by ex-BF while living on her own until my dad happened to see him in the grocery store. My dad had a little "chat" with him(slammed him into a metal display and threatened him) and the stalker went running to his dad crying like a child. When the stalker's dad found out the whole story, it got resolved real quick with the stalker getting put on ice. Best case scenario. Who's to say the OP will be so lucky?



No weapon is a good means of defending yourself. I know it's unfair and all that, I have been at the receiving end just like you. But who do we want to be as human beings? I chose to be not one of them, never, I'd rather die.Your choice is made. At least you aren't a sheeple who walks into the slaughter house. ;P I apologize for my hostility before but I stand beside what I said. If I am ever attacked by someone, I will return their intent of harm. I will avoid taking their life unless they pull a gun. If a gun gets pulled, all bets on trying to preserve their life are off because my chance of survival just entered a range of 10% or less.

Seems like the issue between us is a matter of morals and very personal decisions based on our experiences. *hugs Kathryn* I respectfully drop the issue and apologize for getting you worked up.

[Barbara Dugan]

Have you consider the possibility that the person may be another crossdresser that want you to stay away from CL for your own good or someone that you date before and is jealous

[Kathryn Martin]

Touche..... I also was not exactly nice in the way I first responded. And I agree, whatever makes us look in the mirror in the morning and makes us like what we see.... as I said I completely understand your point, it was not lost on me.....

Please take care of yourself. That's what I want to say every day to everyone here, and so I hug you back:)

Kathryn

[Iztlacihuatl]

Ok so two things. I will be careful and stay of CL. Thank you all for your perspectives and advice. I will be careful for my safety and if I were to be out to be honest that is not so bad as to being attacked. If its none of that then wtvr.

Now can this thread be removed plz?

[Yolanda_Voils]

Tell the "expletive deleted" that you have a rich friend who has volunteered to have the "Blank Angels" give him a little visit.

There is nowhere to hide, nobody to cry to, it WILL happen..

[LitaKelley]

Tell the "expletive deleted" that you have a rich friend who has volunteered to have the "Blank Angels" give him a little visit.

There is nowhere to hide, nobody to cry to, it WILL happen..

Um.. that's a bad idea.

All the person did was say "I know you live at wherever apartments" which really does not indicate anything whatsoever about his or her intentions, just that he or she knows who the OP is.. Everything else is speculation, and to respond to this with a threat is not only something which may have negative consequences, but can also end in criminal charges being filed for making threats.

Naturally the OP is concerned, but I feel she's more concerned that someone whom knows who she is knows her secret and that's the real problem here for the OP