Bummer

[Dora Faye]

Yesterday morning woke up feeling sexy (as usual). Decided to surprise my wife (we sleep in separate beds, don't get me started) wearing my nitey and nada else. I pokes my head in the door and says, good morning. What's up with you? she says invitingly. I jump into the room and, Ta da! Oh, she says with a sour face.

Shoulda seen that train wreck a'comin.

[prene]

Is this your dressing?
Hope not . . . good luck.

[MichelleL]

Was she previously aware of your cross dressing? Had she previously expressed any opinions on it?

[Dora Faye]

Oh yes she knows. And I know she doesn't like it so sheer stupidity on my part. Sometimes she tolerates it in varying degrees which kind of confuses me I guess. It's just not that great knowing the person closest to you doesn't like something that makes you feel good. It must be like being a woman and hating sports and having a husband who watches football? Or something worse. Anyway...

[MichelleL]

I wonder if it isn't time for a frank discussion and the creation of some ground rules about what will work for both of you. (Like I'm anyone to talk about this as I struggle with similar issues in my own marriage.)

[AKAMichelle]

The separate beds part really sucks. I hope you solutions will work for both of you.

[Dora Faye]

Well the separate beds part has been going on for years and it has been my choice since I just don't sleep well with her. It doesn't mean we don't have sex although that has fallen off of late. As for frank discussions they tend to get very tense very quickly so it's sort of a don't ask don't tell policy. Yes I know it's nuts and maybe it will work out in time. Don't get me wrong, we still get along good alot. There's just one teensy tiny area that it's not all that wise to tread, hence my admitted stupidity. *sigh*

[Daenna Paz]

Yes I know it's nuts and maybe it will work out in time. *sigh*

This isn't something that you want to leave to chance ... MichelleL said it well ... 'communication' is the key!

You said she vacillates between unaccepting and tolerance ... at least there is a ray of hope there ... :daydreaming:

This will all happen on her time frame and inside her comfort zone ... be patient (and smart).

[Karren H]

That's too funny!!! I'd die to have separate beds in separate rooms some times. Hell I'd be happy if my MIL would exacuate our spare bedroom!! I'm easy to please!! Lol.

[TGMarla]

Well, that was....ummm.....pretty dumb.

No offense, but what the hell were you thinking?

Duh!

[Dora Faye]

Well, that was....ummm.....pretty dumb.

No offense, but what the hell were you thinking?

Duh!

No offense but you are kind of hurtful, dear.

All others, thank you very much. Your comments and support are very helpful in a difficult situation.

[SusieK]

Slow down girl,
You are struggling to come to terms with your CDing yourself and YOU know what's going on in your mind. For your wife this is a confusing time. She has already shown some willingness to try to accomodate your CDing, which means that the outlook could be good. Don't blow it.

Your wife needs your support through this, because at the moment there's no-one else she can turn to. It's always difficult when the only source of support is also the cause of the 'problem'. (Maybe eventually she'll join the forum and the GG only section for support - but whatever you do - DON'T push it)
The impression I get at the moment is that you're raising the topic too frequently. You've not been CDing long, but you may be going at a pace - is your wife getting daily reminders that this is the new you, because she may not be able to adjust this quickly.

The separate room thing means that you have freedom to 'enjoy' your privacy. If you shared a bed would you be wearing a nightie to bed (yet)? just something to think about.

I hope you can both find the right balance.

Susie