Parents Rights vs. CD Rights

[MichelleL]

This thread originally started in the Wearing a Bikini thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?139939-Wearing-a-Bikini). I have started this thread to continue the discussion without detracting from (or hijacking) that thread. The following quotes are fromthat original thread and I believe they are all of the quotes that are pertinent to this thread. I may have missed some though so please feel free to include anything I missed.

The original post was:


I just got two 2 piece string side tie bikinis from Victoria's Secret. Has anyone tanned with the top on? I live in South Florida so a tan is quite easy. What is it like swimming in one and would it be okay to do it in male mode in public or when not many people around? I don't care what people think of me. I plan on always wearing them in my own private pool/hot tub in my backyard. I haven't gone out enfemme yet but would like to. I'm only 18 and don't have a large array. I have a lot of panties and thongs, one bra, two bikinis, polish my nails in clear or white, and shave my whole body. I also some lipstick but don't wear it often.

Post your experiences about swimming or tanning in a two piece bikini.

Followed later by:


When reading this please keep in mind it is written from a mother's point of view. I support my husband in every way. My husband and i go to the lake with him dressed in his favorite swim suit all the time. But I don't think it would be appropriate at a public swimming pool. I know there is nothing wrong with dressing up, but I can't see it being possible to completely hide your man part in a bikini. I also think maybe those children's parents should have the choice as to what they want their child exposed to. My daughter and us together will decided when she is mature enough for her to here all about her pawpaw. Anywhere else go for it! I hope my opinion doesn't offend anyone, but not everyone parent is prepared or even knows how to answer the questions that could come from that encounter.

Followed by:


Parents do have the choice to control what their children are exposed to. At home. If they don't want to expose their children to the big bad world, then they should not take them out in public. If parents do not wish to expose their children to the perfectly acceptable (if statistically infrequent) activities of other people, those parents should leave their precious little darlings at home instead of imposing their narrow minded view of the world on other adults. I am past tired of living in a world where the only acceptable behaviors are those deemed, by the most squeamish among us, to be "wholesome" for consumption by children.

Won't anyone think of the adults!?!?!!!

To which I posted:


I need to preface my remarks by stating a couple of things. First, this is only my opinion and I do not feel that I have the right to impose my opinion on anyone else. Second, I don't have a dog in this fight. I don't have any children and I have never thought (and I still don't) that I would ever be able to "pass" as female and I would never even think about going to a public place in a bikini.

I thought about these posts over night and was hoping that someone might post something similar to what I am thinking but no one has.

I try to live my life morally. In other words, I try, in everything I do to consider how my actions affect others. I try to put myself in the other person's shoes and think about how I would feel if I were in their position. Do I always succeed? No. I have done many things in my life that have had impacts on others that I regret. In those cases, I try to make amends by apologizing and letting them know that I understand and regret any harm I have caused them.

Do I think that cross dressing is immoral? No, of course not. What one does to their own body and how one chooses to dress are that person's own responsibility and right. Do I think that being heterosexual, bi-sexual or gay is immoral. Once again, no. How one chooses to express their sexual self is that person's own responsibility and right.

With that understanding, I think I can proceed to explain my thoughts on Carrie's wife’s and Hope's posts.

I believe that it is not only every parent's right to raise their children with their own moral values, it is every parent's responsibility to teach their children what is morally right (and every parent has their own beliefs about what is morally right and wrong).

I also believe that we, as adults, must understand that children are exactly that. They are children. They are in the formative stages of their lives and are progressing toward being adults. They are impressionable and vulnerable and it is the parents' responsibility to protect their children from harm so that they can become responsible and happy adults.

When I consider how my actions may affect others, I have to take into consideration a lot of things. First and foremost in my mind is the understanding that while I may have the legal right to do something, that does not mean that I have the moral right to do it. While I do have the legal right to preach to others about my religious beliefs, I do not feel I have the moral right to do so as I believe that each person's religious views are their own.

The reverse can also be true. I may feel that I have a moral right to do something that society has deemed to be illegal. (I am human and I may ultimately be right or wrong about the issue but I do have my beliefs.) In that case, It is my responsibility as an adult to attempt to change the laws that I believe infringe on my and others' rights. I can go about doing so in many ways and this is not the place to get into that.

There are also the situations where what I and society believe are morally right coincide. For example, society (in general) has decided that I have the right to get drunk and doing so is legal. However, society has also decided that I do not have the right to get drunk and then get in my car and drive. Why has society made these decisions? In the first case, society has decided that what I do to my own body (getting drunk) is my personal decision and responsibility. In the second case, society has decided that even though I have the right to get drunk, my rights in that area stop when my getting drunk may infringe on another’s rights. By driving when I am drunk, I am endangering the rest of society around me and I may even kill someone. Because I understand that my rights stop when they infringe on someone else’s rights, I agree with those societal decisions, rules and laws.

Now, on to my beliefs in this specific case. Because I believe that it is Carrie’s wife’s responsibility to protect her children and to raise them in the way she believes is morally right, I believe that it is my responsibility to defer to her beliefs. If I can go to an adults only location (and I can) to wear my bikini publicly, then that is where I should go to do it. I understand then, that if I go to a location where parents and their children will be present, it is my responsibility to defer to the prevailing moral opinion. Do I feel that I have given up something? Of course I do. Am I willing to do so. Yes I am. I am willing to do so because I understand that I do not know everything and that I may be wrong in my belief that my actions won’t harm the children. I do not have the moral right to take that decision away from the parents.



:2c:

Followed later by:


You really hate yourself so much that you think it is reasonable that children have to be protected from (even just seeing) you, least they be "morally" damaged forever?

OK.

Your claim to believe that what you do isn't immoral rings a bit hollow when you go on to suggest that people are justified in protecting their children from you, and others like you, on "moral" grounds.

I think this is a valuable topic to explore so I started this thread so more people may be comfortable in posting their opinions without detracting from the original thread.


You really hate yourself so much that you think it is reasonable that children have to be protected from (even just seeing) you, least they be "morally" damaged forever?

OK.

Your claim to believe that what you do isn't immoral rings a bit hollow when you go on to suggest that people are justified in protecting their children from you, and others like you, on "moral" grounds.

I think you may have missed the point of my comments.

No, I don't hate myself so much that I 'think it is reasonable that children have to be protected from (even just seeing) you, least they be "morally" damaged forever?' My point was that parenting well is a very difficult thing to do and that I do not feel justified in making it even harder than it already is by imposing my views on parents (and children) who may not be ready to face those issues. Each parent is responsible for teaching their children their moral values. While I may not agree with those values, it is not my decision to make.


Your claim to believe that what you do isn't immoral rings a bit hollow when you go on to suggest that people are justified in protecting their children from you, and others like you, on "moral" grounds.

There is definitely some validity to this in that emotionally, I have not yet matured to the point where I don't feel any guilt over my cross dressing. Rationally, there is no reason for my guilt but emotions are rarely (in my opinion) ruled by rational processes. Emotions, by their very nature, are not rational. While emotions can eventually be changed by using rational processes, their origins are based on a huge list of events that created who we are.

I was not raised Catholic (and I am not picking on Catholics, I am merely stating anecdotal evidence) so I cannot attest to the validity of what I am about to say. I am reminded of the many stories I have heard and read about the guilt that many adults who were raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools feel as adults, even though they may have come to a rational conclusion that there is nothing immoral about their actions.

It is very difficult for us, even as adults, to overcome what we perceive as the inappropriate programming we received as children. The emotions that hit us, frequently unexpectedly, as adults are a direct result of our previous programming and experiences. Good parents (in my opinion) realize this and attempt (never perfectly) to prevent their children from being inappropriately (in their opinion) programmed. That is their right and their responsibility as parents. Why would I want to make their job tougher?

[Asako]

*coughs* Isn't it part of a parents job to be ready for the unpredictable like their child pointing out "Mommy/Daddy, those two boys are holding hands! Why are they doing that?" when they're at the super market checkout. Just as it's part of a parent's job to be prepared for their child developing their ideas, thoughts, and views on what's right and wrong, especially when those views don't coincide with their own. On another note of how hard it is to be a good parent...God was Adam and Eve's father. Look at how they turned out. ;P So, honestly...I think you're just another wave rocking the boat a bit.

Now, to get a little more personal on the issue. My aunt has recently made several comments about how she "disapproves" of the local school system and how they're wanting to move her son ahead a grade when she was talking to my mom and I. She says "My son may be intelligent enough for the next grade but when it comes to mental maturity, he doesn't think like they do or see things like they do.". Meanwhile, I'm sitting there thinking "Well, duh...he's a different person than them. Different people have different strides of progress.". Then she got started about how it really burned her up that some of his classmates started picking on him because of he believes in God and how she really wanted to home school him to avoid negative exposure to such things. I really had to bite my tongue there and walk away from the conversation. My thoughts turned really ugly at that point: "Well, heaven f!@king forbid he encounter views different from his OR your own!" be what crossed my mind. When we came home, my mom voiced the same thing I thought. It's the differences in views, opinions, and ways of thinking that a child encounters that helps them mature and form their own views, thoughts, and opinions. The way my mother put it was "Well, if she does that, then how is he going to be able to adapt to differences in people when he's an adult?".

Now, through out the whole conversation with my aunt, did my mom or I say anything negative to her about what she was saying? No. We respected her rights as a parent who truly loves and cares about her child. Sometimes, it isn't easy to respect those rights. Especially when you KNOW the parent is wrong but it's still their right.

[Karren H]

Parenting is not the same anymore for me or my wife... Preconceived notions of what you children should turn out to be changed when our son brought his boy friend home to meet us...

Steer them as best you can and keep them out of harms way...

[Proteus]

Just a technical question, how much different is a bikini from a budgie smuggler proper? I know there is less fabric to go around, but let's not forget tucking.

[holly_n_ok]

So what is your stand Asako? Do you think free speech and equal rights for everyone untill it hits close to home or applys to your family? I have my own oppinion but sounds like you are all for your right to say and do as you wish untill you were presented with a situation to voice your beliefs. Is it ok to push your beliefs on anyone else as long as you dont know them or care about his/her feelings?

[Asako]

If I were to push my beliefs on others, wouldn't that require me to TELL them my beliefs? =)

[GaleWarning]

My name is not Asako (who is clearly not the village idiot she claims to be!), so I will offer an opinion, to stimulate further discussion.

I believe that we cannot have a discussion of human rights without simultaneously raising the issue of human responsibility.
I believe that whenever we consider our rights as parents or CDers, we should also consider our responsibilities towards our children or SOs.
Furthermore (and this is the controversial bit), I think we should always place the interests of others above our own.

I believe that Asako and her mum did just this in choosing not to argue with Asako's aunt.

[Traci Elizabeth]

It's a "Bikini" already.. nothing more. You are taking this way to the extreme. You seem too engorged in unrealistically worrying about what other people "might think about seeing a CC male in a bikini and how to protect children from seeing such.

Consider these:
1. A Man HAS large boobs be they due to a medical problem, HRT, BA, or for some other reason where it would be more of an issue if he went bare chested. These men are not allowed on beaches?
2. A woman is wearing a "G-String." She should be barred from a public beach because kids might see her butt?
3. A person has GREEN, Yellow, or any other unnatural hair color or style. Should they be barred from the beach for being different?
4. Someone looks liked they are death's doorstep. Should they be prohibited from going to the beach for fear it might give children a sense of death or dying at their "tender/impressionable" age?
5. Would it be OK if Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy showed up on the beach in a bathing suit?

Children are far more resilient than a lot of adults! Children also need to be exposed to a diverse society so as not to be raised with biases/prejudices and not live in cocoon.

[jessica renee]

I agree with Traci Elizabeth. But if I'm understanding the original post, I should not do a particular activity, like CDing for example, to avoid offending others? I'm sorry, no, not unless the activity is actually illegal.

That being said, I would not appear in public in a bikini, not because of the above, but because I know that I don't have the body for it.

[Asako]

My name is not Asako (who is clearly not the village idiot she claims to be!)I apparently need reading comprehension classes AGAIN. The first time I read that sentence my mind apparently decided to omit the "not". It prompted me to re-read a few other posts and I apparently misread someone's post quoted below.



So what is your stand Asako? Do you think free speech and equal rights for everyone untill it hits close to home or applys to your family? I have my own oppinion but sounds like you are all for your right to say and do as you wish untill you were presented with a situation to voice your beliefs. Is it ok to push your beliefs on anyone else as long as you dont know them or care about his/her feelings?

First off, I never voiced ANY of the disagreeable thoughts going through my mind while talking to my aunt. Neither did my mom. We both smiled and offered positive advice on what she could do. At one point, I politely excused myself and stepped outside to INTERNALLY process the question of how my aunt can be so smart and so dense at the same time.

I believe that a parent is free to teach their children what they please so long as it doesn't border on or cross into HATE or improper behavior(I.E excessive swearing), even if I disagree with what they are teaching their children. After all, they're going to reap what they've sown into their children eventually. So, no, it is not ok(in my eyes) for me to spout off my beliefs at others unless they have specifically asked for them.

My apologies for the smart-arsed remark. I missed the last sentence of your post. So, yes, I feel still fit the "Village Idiot" description in some ways. I'm working on bettering myself little by little. Though, I'd argue that "idiocy" of mine is a part of what makes me endearing.

[Jason+]

...

I believe that we cannot have a discussion of human rights without simultaneously raising the issue of human responsibility.



Clayfish is on the mark here. I have believed for a long time now that having the right to do something does in no way remove from you the responsibility of choosing not to exercise your right. My home and my backyard are generally places I have every right to present as I choose. One Saturday I went out to start the barbecue wearing a jean skirt and shirt. I got the barbecue lit and went back in to wait for the coals to be ready. On the way back out I noticed the neighbor had also started his grill and that his family and extended family had begun to arrive and mingle in his yard separated from mine by just a chain link fence. I thought for a minute about just going out and about my business in my own yard, perfectly well within my rights, the skirt was ankle length and the shirts was a mens shirt. Then I thought about how this neighbor gets together with his family and friends usually once every few months and that aside from how my wife would feel if there should be any confrontation and decided that the gain to me wasn't worth the perceived possible loss to the other family.

As to the objection to a man wearing a womens swimsuit based on an unsightly bulge not there in women, look at men in speedos and allow me to introduce you to the Mons Venus. (In fairness any bulge at the bottom of whatever style I wore would be drastically out shadowed by the bulge at the waistline of said garment. :D ) If it's a place where it's appropriate for a man to wear a speedo (yes I am hearing the groans and seeing the eye rolls) then the swimsuit should be a non issue. If I as a parent felt that my children would be damaged by seeing men in speedos or swimsuits I wouldn't take them to places I thought there would be a good possibility of them being exposed to it such as say public beaches or pools. At a private pool party for young children speedos or particularly skimpy bathing suits even on the women may not be appropriate.

The ground I am willing to give on the rights of others vs. mine is that I will be modestly covered without trying to hide who and what I am while still being willing to give up a little of my right when I think it should be my responsibility to do it.

[Proteus]

Quite frankly this reasoning that speedos and bikinis aren't allowed wherever there might be children and otherwise "cover our shame" sounds a lot like the reasoning of the people we are supposedly fighting in Afghanistan.

I don't see what harm speedos and bikinis can possibly do to children, period.

[LitaKelley]

During my first and only time out in public en femme, we stopped at a public playground at a local school so that our 4yr old daughter could play. We were hoping it would be empty, however, it was not. There was a couple with two kids there. Because of the children, I chose to remain at the car until they left. I felt I had a moral and ethical obligation to avoid letting those kids see me... Now, had it been somewhere else, like walking in a store, or sidewalk, etc.. it would of been different.. Maybe it's because of the place too.. I felt it was not right for me to be there like this even though I was with my own child.

[Fab Karen]

*coughs* Isn't it part of a parents job to be ready for the unpredictable like their child pointing out "Mommy/Daddy, those two boys are holding hands! Why are they doing that?" when they're at the super market checkout. Just as it's part of a parent's job to be prepared for their child developing their ideas, thoughts, and views on what's right and wrong, especially when those views don't coincide with their own.
EXACTLY.

For example, even if it "offends" some people, we no longer have Jim Crowe laws in this country.

[juno]

I think it is good for children to see some men dressed en femme. Most people start cross-dressing on their own, not because of seeing others cross dress, and feel strange and alone. Letting children see diversity will let them know that their own differences are OK. In fact, my main motivation for wanting to go out in public more is specifically so to show support for young people. Even is some people thing it is somehow morally wrong, exposure is still good to help understand the reality that there are MANY crossdressers. It is a NORMAL variation in genders.

[Jason+]

Quite frankly this reasoning that speedos and bikinis aren't allowed wherever there might be children and otherwise "cover our shame" sounds a lot like the reasoning of the people we are supposedly fighting in Afghanistan.

I don't see what harm speedos and bikinis can possibly do to children, period.

I'm on terminal leave following 20 years of doing my part to ensure that unlike in Afghanistan people here do have the freedom to dress or act as they please within the framework the law.

I am not implying that anyone should feel ashamed of themselves for whatever they choose to wear or that the mere sight of such will damage a child, if I thought that way the skirt in my avatar would have had to stay home today when I went out for errands.

If the belief that even though I have the freedom to wear a (insert clothing article here) to (pick a place) doesn't mean that I necessarily should is Afghan thinking then I am guilty as charged.

[CdChloe]

I haven't read the whole thread so if someone else has already expressed these views: I agree!...

Whilst I am not the proud parent I would like to be at this present time I can say this, I will not be fully outing myself to my children until I feel the time is right for all concerned. Also, while I have not been out in public fully dressed I do reserve the right to do so! If anyone feels they have an obligation to shield their children from how I choose to be myself then they are choosing to raise very narrow
minded little people!

If I ever take my children out and they ask me why that man is dressed like mummy, I will be more than happy to say "because that's what makes him feel comfortable".

I really don't mean to point fingers but isn't this partially what is wrong with our society as a whole? The narrowmindedness that comes from overprotective parents? My wife would have to be the complete opposite of this (and I know quite a few of you would be too) but sometimes just being raised in the environment where the rules and expectations of who you have to be are so black and white we don't allow for any shades of gray?

I have a few gay friends, not once would I ask them to not hold hands or be mushy with their boyfriends should my children be around, they wouldn't do it in the city so why should they do it just because my child is there? It's one thing for us to accept ourselves and take that large step in heels out the door, and should feel oppressed our degraded just because someone else views are different.

This is similar to a freedom of religion thing, everyone has their own spiritual beliefs and the government has seen fit to make laws saying it's ok! This is the same thing, I should be entitled to believe in myself as I feel fit!

[Faith_G]

My parents sheltered me, and I wish they had not. I think it made adjusting to adulthood and the real world much more difficult than it needed to be.

I wore a bikini to the church pool party this summer, and there were children. Shocking! :o

Actually, nobody said anything negative, I had fun playing "Marco Polo" with the kids, and none of the parents got upset. :)

Wear what you want, where you want. It's a free country. Things that used to be considered inappropriate (jeans in church, for example) are now acceptable. Why? Because people got used to seeing them. If you want to change the world you have to be willing to be socially unacceptable.

[AllieSF]

Living in the San Francisco area has exposed me to many variations of dress and undress in the public view. I have been to the annual Pride festivities here and there are always a couple naked men, actually almost naked because they did wear some type of footwear, and no one batted an eye. They would actually pose with them for their family picture albums. It was more an experience for everyone, including me. Being a crossdresser also helps a lot in forming my opinion on the topic of "to wear or not to wear" a woman's bathing suit, bikini, whatever to a public bathing place where children may be present. I truly do understand that some people would try not to expose their children and maybe even themselves from such an "exposure". I also understand those that decide not to exercise their personal rights to dress as they please in this situation. I respect their decisions. However, I am on the side of "wear what you like, where you like and when you like as long as it is legal". If someone else does not like it, they can look the other way, move to another location where they can still enjoy the bathing site, or leave. That is their decision. Regarding hiding the male package from view when wearing a bikini bottom, what about as mentioned above a Speedo men's bikini swim suit, or what about those long below the knee baggy totally covering swim shorts that tend to cling to "everything" when first coming out of the water all wet? I think everyone needs to practice live and let live.

[LeannL]

This tread is difficult to respond to. The thing is that there is always someone who won't like something about someone. The Yankees fan doesn't like the guy wearing a Red Soxes shirt. There are people who don't like women, men or crying babies. The point is that if you go out into the world, there is a chance there is someone out there is is not going to like what you do or what you believe or what your are.

So we have to draw the line somewhere. I hope that most would agree that it would be generally inappropriate for a woman to walk her dog around a pre-schooler's playground in a g-string and pasties. The problem is that this is like pornography - It is hard to define but you know it when you see it.

So where do you draw the line with interacting with the public which will invariably include children? Should a post-op TS stay at home because she has a not-so-feminine appearance and a child (pick an age) might notice and ask a parent? I think we would all agree that the TS has the right to live her life. What if the TS had a kindergartener, should she not be able to bring the child to school? Same. Would it make a difference if the TS was drop-dead gorgeous? It should not. Should it make a difference if it is a CD and not a TS? It is hard for me to come up with a good reason.
On the flip side, it would be inappropriate, IMHO, for the CD or TS to walk up to a child and start to explain who/what we are. That is the parent’s responsibility.
WRT wearing a bikini, if it amounts to more-or-less the equivalent of an acceptable male suit on the bottom and a bra on the top, then, IMHO, it is acceptable. If it is such a small bottom that something is hanging out (remember gg’s don’t have to keep anything in), then it is not acceptable.
In summary, yes , everyone one has rights and responsibilities. Those of us who are “different” should not force it down someone’s throat especially when it involves children. However, we must be able to pursue our lives in a reasonable way.

my :2c:

Leann

[docrobbysherry]

Conversely, if you've NEVER RAISED A KID, I believe you're NOT qualified to talk about it. You may have spent 40 years studying child psychology and behavior, but actually RAISING A KID IS DIFFERENT!:sad:

One problem with this country is our incredibly backward, compared to Europe, attitude RE: SEX! Oh sure, let your kids watch vampires ripping the heads off folks, or a weirdo dismembering folks that r still alive! But, if a teacher assigns a book with ANYTHING other than missionary sex in it, parents r up in arms! :brolleyes:

Most of MY male friend's children were ACCIDENTS. And many were raised, to a greater or lesser degree, by their moms.:straightface: The dads didn't give a crap about the kids education until they heard the kids were learning something that touched on their own prejudices!

ANYONE that thinks NOT allowing their children to learn about:

Different cultures, heritage, skin colors, languages, and family life styles.
Different religions, (or no religion).
Sexual diversity. Also, include gender diversity.
Responsibilities;
includes allowing them to hang with the friends of their choice, studying the curriculum they prefer, dating who they wish, and learning how to succeed AND fail ON THEIR OWN!

May be making a mistake!:straightface:

Many parents feel they should instill THEIR own; judgmental values, and self serving intolerance in their kids. This is more likely to cripple and/or injure your child, rather than help. And, when the child grows up and is finally exposed to the things you've tried to hide/protect them from, they're likely to embrace the new knowledge and reject u and yours!:eek:

I believe ANYONE THAT THINKS A CHILD VIEWING A WOMAN'S BUSH OR A MAN'S PACKAGE WILL HARM THEM FOR LIFE IS EITHER INCREDIBLY IGNORANT OR NAIVE!:Angry3:

It's MUCH more likely the; PARENT'S, TEACHER'S, PEER'S, or RELIGIOUS LEADER'S REACTION to what the child sees will scar them for life, than what they actually see!:doh:

I'm raising my second child. We "worked" for 6 months to create her! She's a teen now, and it's NOT easy! I'm trying hard NOT to throw extra obsticles in her path. If she sees a woman's bush, or a guy's package under her/his bikini out in public, she probably wouldn't bat an eye! Unless, I WAS that guy!:heehee:

[Hope]

Quite frankly this reasoning that speedos and bikinis aren't allowed wherever there might be children and otherwise "cover our shame" sounds a lot like the reasoning of the people we are supposedly fighting in Afghanistan.

I don't see what harm speedos and bikinis can possibly do to children, period.

It is a good question, what on earth are people so afraid of?

[Sophie86]

My children have seen me dressed up as Frankenfurter. I doubt a guy in a bikini is going to scar them worse than that. :p

[t-girlxsophie]

We all have the responsibility to protect our Kids from harm and any percieved threat to their innocence,but I think seeing a CDer in a bathing suit shouldn't IMO do them such harm,to take it further should the mother breast feeding her child at the pool side be frog marched out of the facility,for bearing her breast Of Course not.
In CD terms should we extend it to being dressed Anywhere Children may be e.g.in or near a fairground ,we took my stepsons to the park when I was dressed so are WE culpable in that respect to the feelings children that were about may have,I would like to think not.I think theres more Negative things that Children will encounter these days that would concern parents than the sight of a Crossdresser at the pool who am pretty sure would prepare themselves in such a way that Nothing would be left to chance before they stepped out their front door.

:hugs:Sophie xx

[Sparkles]

I want to thank all of you who responded to my original post. Your honesty has been very eye-opening and thought-provoking for me. I appreciate all of you allowing me to participate so that I may learn how to be a encourager and not a hindrance. I love my CD will all my heart and I want to learn all of her feelings, hopes, desires, so that I can be the best wife possible to her because she deserves it.

[LynnInDenver]

I have only two things I do with regard to my CDing. The first is that I will not go to a friend's home 'en femme' without making sure that it's OK to do so. The second is, for my friends with children, I check with those friends to make sure it's OK for their kids to see me that way.

Both of these are respecting boundaries that they might have... before I cross them and have to ask for forgiveness.

[Loni]

so many views on this.
i have no kids (i am sad for me on that) but it is up to the parents to understand there children will see and do things they deam unacceptable.
people say do not swear in front of young kids...when is the last time you were on a primary school ground.
young boys and girls search out these things, most young kids love to explore and see/hear/do new things, the world is so big for them.
it is our responsibility (ALL people that is) to try to not do some things around them.
but we still have the god given right to be our selves and live our lives...with in socialites boundaries, aka: no nudes walking down the street, no free sex in the park, etc.
as long as we are looking right (no mater how dressed) acting right, walking with in the lines. life is good. but just cause i think tattoos are a bad thing should we ban them? i think not. some out there thing cross dressing should be a crime. i thing not. i am not "gay" should it be banned? even i think not. should the so called third gen inbred kid be banned??

there are so many was of looking at life, and so many ways of doing life, just so long as what i do does not cross your door step life is good, if your kid asks "why is that guy looking so cute in that dress". ok with me, ...but can you answer his question honestly or closed minded.
that is the real problem in life.
invest in your children's lives with a open mind, and they will grow up to be good people.


Loni

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[eluuzion]

I am a bit lost as to whether the topic is parenting, human rights, tan lines, morality, 10-minute adult swims or how to properly size a bikini. So I will just jump in and wing it, as usual, (and just comment about parenting):heehee:.

I am a parent. I divorced my (unfaithful) wife when my kid was 2yrs old. I did not divorce my daughter. I chose to be a parent rather than becoming a vindictive victim battling with an ex-wife at the expense of my child’s emotional stability.

I got a house 3 miles from my ex and became the only responsible half (my ex is not interested in parenting) of a shared parenting plan, where my daughter lived with me every single Friday-Monday, as well as most holidays. Parenting for me began 16 years ago and as far as I can ascertain, it will never end…I will simply adapt to my changing roles as required.:thumbsup:

What is my “job”? To help a child learn how to be a “confident, well-adjusted and self-sufficient person”. Itls Not to tell her what is right or wrong, moral or immoral, good or evil, what to do or not do, what kind of a person to be…. But to teach her how to figure out all of those things on her own, by making her own evaluations and decisions. In short, my job is to teach her how to use logic, common sense and think for herself (in a world that is short on all three). Obviously always adjusting the content to match age-appropriate comprehension abilities.
(I have never provided an answer to any question she has ever asked me that she is capable of answering herself...I only help her generate a list of possible options, then let her decide for herself.)

My basic approach to all of the topics that surfaced in this thread is the same.

“I cannot control what other people do, or my surroundings or what may happen to me as a result. But I can control how I react to it.”

There is a difference between “regulating exposure” and “protecting an innocent child from dangers exceeding their defense capabilities”

For me, "Parenting" is not an issue of purposely exposing children to the perplexities of life. Nor is it a responsibility to overly shelter their exposure to inappropriate circumstances that we all encounter through responsible interaction with others in normal life. Rather it is a task of helping them develop a well-adjusted attitude and strategy for effectively processing (on their own) the myriad of experiences they will encounter in life.

That’s my view, and my strategy, and it works for me (and most importantly… for my daughter)

:love: