What DON'T you like about your physical transition? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

09-25-2010, 08:05 PM

Another curiosity for me. Anybody who has been on hormones "long enough" and/or has had any types of surgery, MtF or FtM, what parts of your body have changed that you do NOT like? For example, an FtM might say, "I don't like that I have back hair" or an MtF might say, "I don't like that I've lost some of my upper body strength." (I guess mental, emotional, and societal changes could factor in this thread, too.) This isn't meant as a complaining thread or some sort of "I wish I never transitioned!" thread, but rather just curious who here has taken some bad with the good and still doesn't regret they've transitioned. :) Do we, in essence, become somewhat like cisgender people during/after transition, in which there's very likely something about our (new) bodies we don't like, yet just deal with because it's still part of who we truly are?

Note: This is NOT a thread to express what you WISH your body could do. For example, comments of, "I wish I could get pregnant!" or "I wish I could ejaculate!" I'm saying this ahead of time because this thread may be otherwise bound for that avenue, which is irrelevant to the actual question. I'm sure we're all aware of the certain limitations being trans creates for us. It sucks.

Kieron Andrew

09-25-2010, 08:14 PM

I have been on T for about 9months and its pretty much all been good, i really didnt want too much hair but turns out im a hairy s.o.b....but oh well nevermind, i still feel way more at ease with myself than i ever did pre-T, having hair in places i never knew existed still is a small price to pay for feeling right in myself for the first time in years.....im sure there are other things but that was the one that i dreaded before T but now im like whatever...my hairline has receded some again doesnt bother me, thats just part of being a man....so its like its right cos im male?

09-25-2010, 08:17 PM

having hair in places i never knew existed

Sounds like a cheesy puberty reel from the 60s. :heehee: We should soooo do a trans parody of one.

Thanks for sharing. :) There are definitely things that I'm "dreading" with my own potential transition and hoping they don't happen, but if my mindset is able to change once I've started, then that'd be great. If I end up whatever about being a short, bald, greasy, pot-bellied dude with hair like Robin Williams, then yay.

I shall be Milo the Wolf Boy!

Faith_G

09-25-2010, 08:28 PM

Loss of strength would be the only negative to me, my job is physically demanding even for a guy so a lot of days I am completely spent by quitting time.

Traci Elizabeth

09-25-2010, 09:34 PM

I have three negatives:

1. Like Faith, my strength has really gone down the tubes. Simple everyday things like opening a new jar has become a task. I just can't do it anymore. Yesterday while in Walmart I bought a cool gadget to do it for me.

2. I get hot flashes like you won't believe when it comes time to change my patches.

3. I can get emotional really easy and cry a lot in those moments.

BUT I would not change any of those if it meant I did not have all the positives I do have. Nothing in life is 100% roses. You have to be willing to accept the negatives that come with it as well.

Oh yeah, I forgot these too....brittle fingernails (my nails had always been very strong), dry curry hair (I always had oily hair and straight), and much dryer thinner skin albeit much softer so there is a silver lining in that negative.

luvSophia

09-26-2010, 03:34 AM

I do not really look any of the changes that have happened as negatives, they have all been simply a part of being a woman. I will say that while I don't mind the getting all emotional, at times though it can make having a conversation at the same time a bit tricky.

Stephenie S

09-26-2010, 10:16 AM

I can't think of a single solitary thing.

Well, perhaps more upkeep? I enjoy the same loss of strength that others report. That's OK, there are tons of men around to do it for me. It's hard to just bang out the door some times without thinking anything about my appearance. I used to do that. Now when I want to go out I stop and check how I look before I go, and sometimes put on a bit more lipstick, or comb my hair, or change my paint spattered jeans. Is that really a negative?

People are SO much nicer to me now.

I am more emotional, but I like that. I'm a better person for it.

Eating. There's one thing I have noticed. I could get SO fat SO quickly.

So, pretty much I am completely happy about the results of hormone therapy.

(You will be so too, Ze.)

Stephie

Teri Jean

09-26-2010, 07:07 PM

I would have to say the loss of strength I once had. It required a shift in how I did my work. I do building repair for a university and it can be very physical.

Melissa A.

09-26-2010, 10:50 PM

I work in a freight railroad yard. I don't have to do much heavy lifting at all, but there is the climbing, the walking(in work boots, on large gravel), throwing switches that sometimes feel like they a hundred years old (wait, they ARE!), more walking, bending over to couple hoses a hundred times a night, riding the sides of filthy cars, oh. Did I mention the walking? It truly never ends. I am proveably not even half as strong as I used to be, and the fatigue bar is so much lower. At the end of a 12 hour shift, I am pooped, and my feet feel like someone's been hitting them with a hammer. But it keeps me in relatively decent shape, and it's small price to pay for being me. Besides, I am lucky enough to work with a bunch of great guys who will often help me out with something physically, like those rare occasions when I actually do have to carry something. Which I don't mind. Hey, I ain't so young anymore, either. But that just happens to kind of lead me to the other couple of things.....

The loss of male, or patriarchial privelege is a little more complicated. Especially since Male-to-Females had it, and gave it away. Most say, and especially said pre-transition that we want to be "treated like a woman". Then we are. No one told us that might mean being taken less seriously, often spoken down to by men, even if they don't mean it, and interrupted constantly. Then there's the sexualization and objectification by random strangers,(whether they know you are trans or not, interestingly) either for the purposes of making their dicks happy, or just plain old power. It's a culture thing, both phenomena, and after a year plus fulltime, I am still getting used to it. Or not. Many born women never do, so why the heck should I have to?

Of course, none of it would make me regret anything. You cope, and standup for yourself when ya have to. I realise that I'm not going to change a whole hysterically macho culture on my own. Meh. It's a little better than being miserable or dead.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

karen1562

09-26-2010, 11:12 PM

I seem to have a few more health issues than when I was a man. I started my HRT in Nov 09, and around February 2010, I started having stomach issues. It's slowly being narrowed down to being possibly IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), but still unclear. I've been told that affects more women than men, so perhaps that's just something that comes w/ the territory. I've also noticed that my skin will now break out in a rash from the adhesive on bandaids. I have to use paper tape when I get blood drawn now. Also, I seem to just have been hit with an allergy hammer. I never had problems with allergies for most of my life (I'm 31) and then around 27-28 I started noticing a slight difference and would get a little peppered with allergies about 2 times a year for about 2 weeks and then I'd be fine the rest of the time. I just thought it was because I was getting older. But since starting HRT, I've just been whacked over the head with allergies to something. I walk outside and literally within minutes, my throat is all puffed up, blocking my eustachian tubes to my ears, causing me to have unequal pressure in my ears, giving me this awful muffled ear syndrome. It sux. But whatever. Given all these things, I'm still happy I'm going through my transition and would not stop even if I have to live with all this the rest of my life. Thankfully, IBS is stress related they say, so I'm just starting to do some yoga at help, which I find very relaxing and helpful!

Regina

09-27-2010, 08:03 AM

1. Fatigue has been an issue, I blame some of it on the hot weather we had this past summer. I pay closer attention now to going to bed at a regular time.

2. Loss of strength: this has not been to bad because I have stayed active, however I have noticed an overall loss

3. Emotional lows: The last two weeks have been bad, I'm in a bad marriage that I was hoping to stick around for two more years to watch my son grow up, because I know this will only occur once in my life.

My wife who cannot become my "EX" fast enough takes great delight in chopping people down, last night she said to me "I don't know why you stay your not that good of a father" That hurt...I had to leave the house and go outside for awhile. Even 24 hrs later it makes me sad. Even with all the up's and down's
I am still committed to my new life.

Regina

Frances

09-27-2010, 09:39 AM

Nothing. It is as if my body and mind was starved for estrogen. Every change has been physically and psychologically beneficial, including loss of strength. Everything makes sense now.

Melody Moore

09-27-2010, 10:50 AM

There isn't anything I really don't like about my physical transition because I accepted everything that I would experience before starting HRT and just know it goes with the territory - However the few things that I notice the most is feeling more tired than before and needing a lot more sleep, but that can also be attributed to the fact I have recently moved AGAIN and am still having to do a lot of running around to collect all my stuff. Im sure my upper body strength is starting to suffer as well after noticing myself starting to struggle to lift things I have moved very easily in the past. I also notice I'm a lot more emotional and when the tears start flowing they're very hard to stop but like I said everything that is happening I expected so Im not in the least bit disappointed because I know I am a real woman now.

:doll:

Victoria Anne

09-27-2010, 11:11 AM

The only negatives I see are the loss of physical strength and the fact that as if I were not emotional enough I sure am now but there is no way I would ever concider going back .

Inna

09-27-2010, 12:17 PM

Yeah, I know I am not suppose to talk "I wish"! But all the aspects of transition are phenomenal except yourz trullyz face. It is like putting head of a chicken on the neck of a swan..........It Don't look right! Guess hormones do work wonders where they can but some things are just not to be conquered. FSS here we go but that has to wait.
But seriously my skin has become so thin and brittle than just a brush against something semi pointy and big scar emerges. I truly don't know how GG do live without being taped up with band aids all over. I guess that is why when they walk their arms and hands are pointed out like a bumpers just in case.

Angel.Marie76

09-28-2010, 03:25 PM

Something I don't like physically about my body? My GF calls it 'My Pooch' that I've gained. I'm a skinny little b~tch that all of a sudden (well, in 4 months of E) developed this little belly. Oh well, just have to keep it in check, least I have a deeper belly button now - piercing here I come!)

Mentally? The first waves of the emotional overload. Just not used to it. I don't HATE it, but I wish I could just be ready for it more often.

You know, though.. this totally just blew my mind -- the whole objectification thing. I've been SO tied up in the whole trans-'I bet they're looking at me because they can tell' that the other day I wonder if I was just attracting attention because I was a cute woman on a motorbike or if they really COULD tell... makes sense now though.. some of the looks I was getting didn't /seem/ bad, or whispery, including men looking at me AFTER their GF/wives walked by in front of them. ::face-palm:: Ooooooh crap. So, yeah, objectification = NOT so sure I like it.

Strength as I'm loosing it or more-so STAMINA I think I am a little unhappy about too. I used to be able to go on these nice long bicycle rides with my son, but now I find myself wiped in about half the time or less. I expected strength loss.. but this.. not so much.

Someone else mentioned this, and this too I wasn't expecting -- weaker fingernails. Never woulda thunk it. I've almost always had strong and rather thick nails, and was able to grow them long easily. Now? I'm lucky if I can get them out to 1/4 of an inch before they start to separate their layers.

I don't get the hot flashes as much as other people have said I might, but what I do get more in small bursts is dizziness. it comes and goes, but it's not horrible. I talked to my endo and PCP, and they say it's probably just a side effect of the E-shots, as they tend to be stronger a day or two after my injection. Ehh.. a couple of days of light vertigo-like symptoms is doable.. just have to remember to say off the bikes during that time.

Oh well, I'll deal with it all though. My choice = my life = my ultimate happiness, and believe me, I'm frikken happy, I assure you.

Kieron Andrew

09-28-2010, 03:34 PM

Someone else mentioned this, and this too I wasn't expecting -- weaker fingernails. Never woulda thunk it. I've almost always had strong and rather thick nails, and was able to grow them long easily. Now? I'm lucky if I can get them out to 1/4 of an inch before they start to separate their layers. Yup, now that i am on T, my nails grow so damn quick and easier than before!! and i hate long nails so it drives me nuts lol...

Angel.Marie76

09-28-2010, 03:45 PM

Yup, now that i am on T, my nails grow so damn quick and easier than before!! and i hate long nails so it drives me nuts lol...

B@stard, you suck. That's just a cruel joke of the binary, isn't it? Bah. ;-) I've had to keep coating my nails now with binding agents and industrial topcoats, and caring like crazy for them, and now the daintiness of things I have had to see. I find myself purposefully altering how I do things so I don't wreck my nails. It's gonna takes YEARS. Gah.

Kieron Andrew

09-28-2010, 03:47 PM

B@stard, you suck. That's just a cruel joke of the binary, isn't it? Bah. ;-) I've had to keep coating my nails now with binding agents and industrial topcoats, and caring like crazy for them, and now the daintiness of things I have had to see. I find myself purposefully altering how I do things so I don't wreck my nails. It's gonna takes YEARS. Gah.but girls are meant to pamper and look after their nails :p...btw b@stard is such a compliment to me, thanks :p

09-28-2010, 04:27 PM

Oh geez, my nails already grow really fast and strong and crap. :doh:

Hephaestus

09-28-2010, 04:36 PM

I'm kinda looking forward to the loss of strength, oddly enough ^_^;

Sure, I'll have to find and acquire some new labor saving techniques and equipment for certain hobbies (blade smithing comes to mind, as does sword fighting).... but I'm just so tired of my big arms and shoulders ruining my look when I try to look nice! >_<

It's much too hot for anything but short sleeves 7 months of the year here, and it really bothers me.

AnonyMouse

09-28-2010, 07:04 PM

Oh geez, my nails already grow really fast and strong and crap. :doh:

Mine, too. And I've been losing my hair.

Really, by the time I go on T the only things I'll need are body hair, muscles, and loads and loads of tattoos. :D

Angel.Marie76

09-29-2010, 04:30 PM

Mine, too. And I've been losing my hair.

Really, by the time I go on T the only things I'll need are body hair, muscles, and loads and loads of tattoos. :D

You can have some of my ink if you want it! We can just make an appointment with my local plastic surgeon and we'll do a 'face-off' style arm-skin transplant! Pleeeeeeeeeeeease? I'm seriously thinking about lasering off all my ink. I really don't like it anymore. :-( I guess you could say that if there's something I hate more than ANYTHING on my body right now it's my ink. I started a whole sleeve as a man, and now I just don't like the iconogy. I'd rather have it gone now. Yes, I admit it, I have tattoo regret. bah.

but girls are meant to pamper and look after their nails :p...btw b@stard is such a compliment to me, thanks :p

You're welcome on the compliment... i guess? ;-p~ And yes, I know... I KNOW. Just like everything else, I plan on having pedicures and manicures SO much more often now. I just never knew.

OH, and another thing.. FOOD cravings!! GAHH! Like, ever since I started on my Spiro, I've craved salt and vinegar like crazy... and salads. Once I started on E a month later... the rest of it kicked in. SALADS! Yeah, I liked them before, but this goes WAY beyond having a salad with dinner or as a side.. this is like TRAYS of salad at a time. Stuff like Salt and Vinegar chips? WTF? I HATED them forever, thought they were the vilest thing on the planet. Now... I crave them. *throws hands up* My partner thinks it's funny as h3ll, but I'm just dumbfounded. Pickles too.. seriously, like a jar a week if I didn't stop myself. When it first kicked in, it was 2-3 whole hearty garlic pickles a day... Ohh.. and rare-er meat. I was a well-done girl until I started all this.. now.. it's like I'm unconciously pushing myself towards just latching onto a cow's butt cause I want it so rare. LOL I'm forcing myself to cut back now cause my Endo noticed my blood pressure starting to creep up. I told her what I've been craving and eating and she LOL'ed and got the 'Welcome to the club sweetie, just remember, you can't always eat what you crave.' Ta h3ll I CANT! *rolls eyes* grrrr

What's kinda funny though, I don't crave chocolate at all, and I've stopped craving caffeine almost completely. Like a darn switch flipped on me or something. Go figure.

Melody Moore

09-29-2010, 07:01 PM

I'm seriously thinking about lasering off all my ink.
I got that same issue as well, I think I over-compensated trying to fit in as a guy :boo: now Im kinda feeling desperate and to the point Im thinking about breaking out the sander with some 40 grade sandpaper and doing the job myself. :eek:

SALADS! Yeah, I liked them before, but this goes WAY beyond having a salad with dinner or as a side.. this is like TRAYS of salad at a time. Stuff like Salt and Vinegar chips? WTF? I HATED them forever, thought they were the vilest thing on the planet.
Pretty much how I feel, I was a big meat eater, but my doctor told me to eat less meat if I really wanted to lose weight, so Salads have been a favourite of mine. But since starting HRT the vilest thing i didn't like before but crave for all the time now is Tuna, I love nothing better now that a good Tuna Sandwich with some chopped up onion, garlic & a bit of chilli, then topped off with some low fat mayonnaise. Since I started transitioning & starting HRT & changing my diet a bit over 2 months ago I have dropped from weighing 100kg (15st 10.5lb or 220.5lb) down to 88kgs (13st 12lb or 194lb) I will be very happy & look really nice if I can get rid of another 15-18kgs - so my goal is to get down to about 70kgs (11st or 154lb) and along with more exercise my new diet really seems to be working.

:doll:

Kieron Andrew

09-29-2010, 07:22 PM

OH, and another thing.. FOOD cravings!! GAHH! Like, ever since I started on my Spiro, I've craved salt and vinegar like crazy... and salads. Once I started on E a month later... the rest of it kicked in. SALADS! Yeah, I liked them before, but this goes WAY beyond having a salad with dinner or as a side.. this is like TRAYS of salad at a time. Stuff like Salt and Vinegar chips? WTF? I HATED them forever, thought they were the vilest thing on the planet. Now... I crave them. *throws hands up* My partner thinks it's funny as h3ll, but I'm just dumbfounded. Pickles too.. seriously, like a jar a week if I didn't stop myself. When it first kicked in, it was 2-3 whole hearty garlic pickles a day... Ohh.. and rare-er meat. I was a well-done girl until I started all this.. now.. it's like I'm unconciously pushing myself towards just latching onto a cow's butt cause I want it so rare. LOL I'm forcing myself to cut back now cause my Endo noticed my blood pressure starting to creep up. I told her what I've been craving and eating and she LOL'ed and got the 'Welcome to the club sweetie, just remember, you can't always eat what you crave.' Ta h3ll I CANT! *rolls eyes* grrrr

What's kinda funny though, I don't crave chocolate at all, and I've stopped craving caffeine almost completely. Like a darn switch flipped on me or something. Go figure.:rofl: i am laughing so damn hard here reading all this!!, like ur endo says, 'welcome to the world of womanhood' lol

Ms Jennifer

09-30-2010, 04:10 AM

Wow Ze Such a great thread.I have noticed the cuts from just bumping into something.The lack of the power I used to have and the brittle quick growing nails.I figured it was all from age.I expected the emotional side ,softer skin and bigger boobs,but not all the rest.I work in such a macho driven construction trade that it is getting harder to hide the changes.But with early retirement coming up I can go fulltime then and not care.Thanks to everyone for all the input.

morgan51

09-30-2010, 06:39 AM

Brittle nails, loss of strength, are the only negatives so far I had acrylics for 4 years and recently took them off to find real whimpy nails it was like totally opposite from where I was when i started transition.Overall I'm pleased with the changes and shifting profile. Hair hasn't changed all that much I wish it would become less everywhere but on top. I was balding when I started some has returned but not nearly enough.I get tired real quick. That may be my age as well. Overall no regrets body wise.

Angel.Marie76

09-30-2010, 08:37 AM

:rofl: i am laughing so damn hard here reading all this!!, like ur endo says, 'welcome to the world of womanhood' lol

To quote Dennis Leary 'Tah h3ll with the rare steak, Bring me a live COW G0DDAMN!T, I'll carve off what I want, and Ride the rest home... dadadum dadadum dadadum'. [As she repeats this phrase out loud, munching on a pickle]... mmmm pickle.

'If you have to get up in the middle of the night cause you gotta piss like a racehorse, and on the way back to bed you grab a pickle from the fridge... you might be a Tranny.' :-D

Yeah, having the bladder that feels the size of marble these days sucks at times. It's not all the time it seems, but there are days when it's like, oh... every hour to every other hour... feels like it's been shrinking. I fairly sure it's not possible, but more a side effect of the Spiro, but COME ON! For the first two months it just seemed non-stop, though it feels like it's evening out now. Again, the GF has no sympathy. I just get the 'seeee.... SEEEEEE! See what we mean??!?!'

Boob aches & semi-permanent SNE (sudden nipple erection) throughout the day.. fine when you have a lightly padded bra on, but right now, as I'm still in male wear at work, the 'girls are grown enough so that it's tricky to wear a bra sometimes cause even unlined bras create enough mass to be noticeable..

I may sound like I'm complaining a whole lot, but from what I understand of women, we're really good at complaining to each other about this and that.. 'Louis, Louis, Louis, still whining Louis...' makes me wonder if he would have made a hell of a sexy woman.. Oh, wait, Brad Pitt? No, never mind, he can stay sexy man aaalllll he likes.