another small step today. Out en femme 2nd time.. feels GREAT

[LitaKelley]

I just HAD to get out en femme again, so asked my wife if she'd go for a ride with me.. Since this is a bad week finance wise she asked "But where will we go with no $$" so, we decided to head to Wason Pond in Chester so my daughter can enjoy the playground and we could walk around.

So, unlike last time, no hoodie or sunglasses and I left my driveway with my wig on.. I just didn't care, lol..

Woohoo... I felt GREAT, but OMG I need gas... My wife went inside to pay since I'm not ready for interpersonal interaction due to voice and missing front teeth, but I did get out of the car to pump gas.. There was a carload of women at pump next to me.. I have no idea whatsoever if they saw me, or if they noticed, or if they read me.. Absolutely nothing happened, great.. I finished and left.. Not bad at all.. tons of cars driving by, nobody notices.. nothing happens and I feel wonderful and I like the pretty girl looking back at me in the rearview mirror, lol

We get there, and I feel so comfortable.. so happy, and I'm at peace with myself and I don't care if anyone shows up and sees me..

So, my daughter got to enjoy herself at the playground.. we had the whole park to ourselves until a family arrives.. a married couple and another man with several children.. My wife panics... "We gotta go" she says.... "don't worry about it" I said to her... "But the men might freak out" she says... "So what..I don't care if they see me.. you yourself said I look like a woman, so, let them see me, so I know if I'm easily read or not"..

Naturally my wife was nervous about me wanting to stay, so she walked to the other side of the park where my daughter was... I stayed at the picnic table for a few minutes.. the man and his wife walked by and said hi.. a moment later the other man walked by.. he did not say hi... but for the next several minutes I noticed that he keeps checking me out... I don't know if he was reading me, or if he thought I was a hot mama... he didn't say or do anything.... just kept looking over at me, like he was checking me out, so I'd just act like I didn't see him and turned away, lol

We left about 10m later.. On the way home I had to stop at the market to return DVD, but did chicken out after I parked the car because I realized my makeup may look different in those bright supermarket lights.

Once home, I told my wife how I feel.. I told her I feel good like this and wish to do it again, and then perhaps more often. I also told her that I really think I will be a happier person if I am presenting as female most of the time and she is ok with this. She did say she notices alot different about me today, such as no road rage, I drive slower and am overall more calm and relaxed.

So, we discussed some options and she's agreed to come with me en femme to go food shopping.. OMG.. I can't wait.. I am confident I can do this so long as I don't have to speak to anyone, or in front of anyone.. MAYBE.. I suppose it all depends on how well I do the makeup.. Perhaps nervous about trying this, but I really do want to.. I HAVE TO KNOW if people will "read" me or if I'd pass.

I don't really need to pass since I just feel so good dressed, but if I do or did, I'd feel soooo much better about it and that would make me really happy.

I can't wait til I have my teeth next week.. that will be a huge plus for my confidence.

OH.. and I did get a few nice photos today.. am I allowed to post them here, or do they have to go in photos section?

edit: Not clear about if photos would be allowed here, so I added them to existing thread at
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?139725-First-time-out-in-public-ouside-during-the-day.&p=2275535&viewfull=1#post2275535

[sissystephanie]

Way to go, Lita. You did the right thing by ignoring the other people at the playground. Unless you really look out of place, nobody will pay much attention! Of course, if you are pretty girl then they will. I have been a CD for most of 70 years. In that time, I have gone out in public many times totally enfemme. When my late wife was alive she used to do my wig and my makeup so I could easily pass. I have never been very good with either the wig or the makeup. Now that she is gone I don't do either one. I go out totally dressed enfemme, but looking exactly like the man that I am. The comments that I get are usually, "where did you get that great outfit?" And I do go everywhere dressed! Shopping, to the P.O., eating out, etc. Wearing feminine clothes is fun, so get out and do it more often!! BTW, good luck on your teeth!!

[Kathi Lake]

Lita, good for you and good for your wonderful wife! She is just looking out for your safety, which is why she suggested you go early.

On the feelings of passing, my question is why do you care? Are you happy? Are you having fun? Are you hurting anyone else? Are you fulfilled. Then get out there and don't worry what anyone else says. It sounds like your wife has your back.

:)

Kathi

[LitaKelley]

On the feelings of passing, my question is why do you care?


I care because if I do, I'd be so proud and happy with myself for accomplishing that. :) I know truthfully in so many ways that I do not or will not pass.. such as certain facial expressions, different types of lighting, sometimes movements or mannerisms, etc..... and I know there'll always be some that will know and some whom won't... Just for some reason, I feel like passing is just safer and since I am married with children, I need to be concerned for my families safety.

Alone, or out with friends, passing is not necessary at all, however, when out with my wife and/or child, passing provides some form of security and comfort that we're not at risk of bodily harm or maleficient interferance, more so to my wife whom is more concerned about the reactions of others.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. The more you do it you will get more comfortable and the better you will get at presenting and eventually just BEING the woman you want to project.