I did it.. I finally went out to a club.

[LitaKelley]

So, I'm getting rather discontent with just dressing at home and I do wish to transition to full time presenting myself as female, but I'm a work in progress and I need to become more comfortable in front of other people.

I NEEDED to get out of the house and get away.. not just out of the house and away, but en femme, so, I got dressed up and went to a LGBT club in Manchester, NH since there was no cover charge if arriving before 10pm and figured I'd watch the drag show...

But I don't drink.. so ordered a soda with a straw.. I felt so awkward and out of place, because everybody else was hanging out with other people and talking, dancing, hugging, drinking, etc and there I am, lonely crossdresser sitting at the bar sipping a soda through a straw..

I left the bar to go to the other room and watched people singing Karaoke.. again, pretty much bored.. I wanted to stay a little longer, but it being a Friday night and being about half hour from home, and it being a bar and it pouring out cats and dogs, I felt it's safer to leave early.

I don't think I could do this again.. too boring without a friend with me... but the main thing for me was to place my self in front of other human beings so I can overcome self consciousness and fears... Suppose I need to find friends to go with next time.

[Alberta_Pat]

I am sorry that you were disappointed Lita. Hopefully, there is someone from this board who can accompany you next time.

Come on New Hampshirites. Stand up and give this Lady a hand!

[Sara74]

That is exactly what keeps me from doing it. I admire your courage for actually going out in the first place. I can't even get that far. But I do agree...having someone there as support is the key. At least until you are comfortable and confident on your own. Baby steps sister! Baby steps! We will get there. :)

[yazooey]

I completely understand how you feel. I did the same thing a few months ago. I don't know if I would say I was bored because I felt like I was on high alert soaking in the thrill of being out in public. But, I agree that it would have been more enjoyable had I been with a group or another person to atleast have some conversation with. As Sara mentioned, "baby steps." You are definitely getting there girl. I am trying to catch up. Congratulations on your first outing to a bar.

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Lita, think about this positively. You went to a club en femme all by yourself. That takes guts girl! I have the desire to go to one too....but I can't do it alone.
you did something very courageous and inspiring.
Be proud of yourself. I am in awe....
Ashley

[Ria]

I've had the exact same experience a few times (club by myself) but the experience is so cool being dressed up that I don't get bored! It's just so great getting dolled up, driving accross town, going to bank machine, walking down a sidewalk... being in a night club dressed up. It's such a rush even in killer heels! I just love it.

Doing this with another CD sister... yes that would be way better but I haven't found a buddy yet =(

good on ya for getting out there!

One thing though, Vancouver is a great town but I do feel a bit exposed in the parkade alone when coming and going. I keep a can of bear spray very handy. You should also.

[Chickhe]

Done it once too. Exactly the same feeling... not in to drinking, didn't know anyone and felt a bit out of place... but in my case, I think I had a screw come loose and I decided to hit the dance floor where I interacted with a couple people. The drag show I saw was intertaining. It was an adventure...good experience, but not really my scene anymore. Would be fun in a group for sure.

[Alice Torn]

I have always been out alone, never been to a bar or club, though. It took guts to go in there!

[tricia_uktv]

Hon, it seemed to me that you went to a perfect place for meeting people. Why not do the karaoki. Look out for people like yourselves? If you can make one friend you will make money more. It seems like your not quite comfortable enough yet in your feminine skin. But it all takes time. Keep going and good luck.

[ArleneRaquel]

Very courageous, please try again.

[Jenna Stunned]

Hey, Goto http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?107483-Calling-all-New-England-ers and ask around there. I know there are girls here that often goto the 313. Just gotta find'em.

[linda allen]

At least you were out in public. That's a first step. And it's more than I've ever done.

[Stephenie S]

So, you went out to a club alone. Good for you. Did you learn anything?

Yes. Yes, you did. You were lonely. Also, you stuck out like a sore thumb. EVERYONE in that club looked at, and read, you at least once.

Here's why, sweetie. Women NEVER go out alone. There you were in that club trying to pretend that you were a women, and all you looked like was a guy. Why? Because you were by yourself. Girls just DON'T go out alone at night to a club.

Look, the important thing here is that you got out. Wonderful! But if you want to blend in and remain inconspicuous, you have to be with at least ONE other woman. Also (duh), if you do, you won't be lonely.

Stephie

[linda allen]

...... But if you want to blend in and remain inconspicuous, you have to be with at least ONE other woman. ....... Or a male. :battingeyelashes:

[sterling12]

OK Lita, you took that First Step. I am surprised that you where alone, that's very brave! I think your ready for The Next Step, you need to join A Support Group, or find The TG Social Network for your Area. I am sure that there is something available, you just need to do some "legwork".

Even if you can't make A Connection, I imagine you will go out again. It gets to be a Compulsion, and "I bet you can't stop with just One!" Next time, I think you will have less "nerves," you will know "The Turf" a little better, and you will start to interact with Others. Just sitting there, with a Diet Coke in your Hand can get lonely. Find A TG Friendly Place, and make connections with The Other Gurls.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[msginaadoll]

Congratulations Lita for getting out. You sound like me my first time. Felt alone and awkward. Sat by myself in a corner. What I had to do the next time was force myself to meet people. I went over and introduced myself to others. I think there are a lot of great people out there for you to meet, its just that sometimes u have to approach them first. I still go to clubs alone, however when I get there I know a bunch of wonderful gurls. It certainly is not easy to do, I am an incredibly shy person- but It can happen for anyone. As a whole the transgender community seems to be a friendly and supportive one. It can seem cliquey at first but sometimes u just have to shove the door open and yell hear I am!!

[LitaKelley]

Hey, Goto http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?107483-Calling-all-New-England-ers and ask around there. I know there are girls here that often goto the 313. Just gotta find'em.

That's where I went. :) Sat is drag night, should of gone tonight instead.. Maybe I can go again.

Today I need to do some food shopping. I'm thinking about driving to a supermarket out of town and going en femme.. I'm just afraid of what the bright fluorescent lights will do to my makeup, lol

[Cassie/Charlie]

Great job, I hope I can have your courage someday

[My Lady Marsea]

I like go out all days, all nights as I'm 24/7. I can tell you one thing though after three years, you'll still most likely be going out alone or wutever . Yes it would be like so totally great to go with other girls, but it's like pulling teeth outta chickens to find another who will get out of the closet and just do it. I do have my little circle of GG friends whom I go with food/clothing/drug store etc etc with and as well as my nail lady and hair tech for the time actually needed. Finding another TG or GG though for night time or outa town day trips is like darn near impossible. As far as going public and getting comfortable with yourself, join a PFLAG group or another GLBT thingie and just start going out as who you are, others there will welcome you with open arms. You'll feel comfortable within yourself, and get some social skills you'll need but be forewarned there are many more GLB than T and it's still hard to find another to do day to day (and night) stuff with. Congrats though on your first big step of going it alone in public girl.

[Noceedee]

Shopping en femme is definitely a rush and a joy for me. Ladies DO shop at clothing stores and grocery stores by themselves so I find I blend in much better this way. Being in the women's section or lingerie section at a department store I feel like a have a special pass to be in there when I am dressed. I am just another lady looking for a new bra, top, or skirt and no one seems to notice or care. I have not shopped with another CD yet but would love to find a CD friend to go out and do a little shopping some time.

[Sally24]

That's where I went. :) Sat is drag night, should of gone tonight instead..
I knew it had to be 313! I'm the moderator of that group and we're there the 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month. There were 17 girls there last night, you would have loved it! The Halloween Party on the 30th is an extra night this month so you have 2 more tries! Hope to see you there.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_manchester/

[LitaKelley]

I knew it had to be 313! I'm the moderator of that group and we're there the 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month. There were 17 girls there last night, you would have loved it! The Halloween Party on the 30th is an extra night this month so you have 2 more tries! Hope to see you there.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_manchester/

Cool.. Any others go there from this forum? I want to go on the 16th :) I can't make it for Halloween. I'll be in Salem, Ma for that whole week prior and up to Nov 1st.

I'm checking out your group right now, thank you.

[crossdrezzer1]

Ill be your friend,,, going shopping med week next week in fem,, might even get a hotel room to make the whole day out of it..

[RachelPortugal]

I think you were very brave to go to the club alone, even if it did not turn out to be a great time.

What is really great though, is that out of sharing your experience, you have received invites from others to join them clubbing or shopping. Isn't this a fantastic place?

[TiffanyTgirl]

Congratulations on going out to a bar. It is a very big step. You should be proud of yourself. Going out with someone would definitely be more fun. So good luck finding a friend in your area.

[AKAMichelle]

So find a friend or two. The more the merrier. Then you will have the time of your life.