Are you afraid of being caught? (and what if you were?)

[Danielle Gee]

Hello Ladies:

Do any of you who “under-dress”, shaves all over, paints your toenails or otherwise feminizes your body ever obsess about being caught?

Assuming anyone who does these things are out to their SO, what about your Kids? Do any of you participate in a sport or other activity that requires disrobing in a locker room?

Have you ever thought of what you’d do if you were in an accident, and had to make an unexpected trip to the Doctor or hospital?

For those of you who worry about this, I like to hear about your “contingency” plan. For those who have been caught, what happened next? And for those who don’t care or don’t worry about this, how did you get yourself to this level of confidence?

Personally, I’m aware of the repercussions of being outed. In this “backwater, red-neck” part of the country in which I reside, it could be serious! I’m as careful as I can be, and I trust luck to the rest. I’ve already decided that if my family Doctor sees me and asks, I just going to come clean to him.

I’m interested if any of the rest of you girls worries about these things?

Danielle

[erika_s]

I chose not to feminize anything.

[linda allen]

........

Have you ever thought of what you’d do if you were in an accident, and had to make an unexpected trip to the Doctor or hospital?

For those of you who worry about this, I like to hear about your “contingency” plan.

A friend is an emergency room nurse. She told us about a patient who came in with painted toenails. He told them he had been babysitting his young niece and she had painted them. He said he hadn't planned on being in an accident.

The worst I have to worry about are bra lines.

[StaceyJane]

My wife found a picture of me dressed but didn't say anything to me but did tell my daughters. I thought I was still in the closet for another year under my daughter left me a letter saying that she and her mom knew.
I then got the courage to talk to my wife about it and she did have a rough time with it at first but didn't say anything to me because she figured I would tell her when I was ready.
Today I am so much happier being out of the closet. i can't imagine going back in.

[linda allen]

My wife found a picture of me dressed but didn't say anything to me but did tell my daughters. Why would she do that?

[Steph.TS]

I worry, I actually want to feminize as much as possible without anyone actually noticing lol, a while ago I ended up going to the hospital after a bike accident, and a family member joined me, at first it didn't bother me, then it dawned on me, that I was wearing panties, if they wanted me in one of those hospital gowns I would be totally outed, I was contemplating all sorts or ways to get them off without anyone noticing, but they just had my shirt taken off as it was my upper body that was injured, all I can say is good thing I wasn't wearing a bralette or anything else embarrassing.

lately thought I've taken to wearing Levi's 512 jeans, they are women's jeans(have nice elasticity and feel great) but they look like men's jeans. I've been wearing them around my christian family all week long, and this weekend I'm going into town wearing them... I got a size 12 but I think I should have gotten size 10...

sad thing is I have no contingency if I get spotted I'm outed. I reply on people on this forum and researching on internet to see how far I can feminize without others thinking I'm gay, or whatever else enters their heads when they see a feminized man...

like you I live in a fairly conservative part of the country, everyone wants to be a cowboy kinda thing, I've let my fear control me alot telling me I can;t go in this store or that store because those are woman's clothing stores, I'm still nervous going into the women's clothing section of unisex stores. But I'll let you in on a secret, a while ago I wrote a thread call I'm afraid of customers, where I mentioned I wasn't afraid for the sales people but everyone else as they were totally free to judge me. well lots of people gave me advice, and back them I bought 2 pairs of jeans. on Wednesday I revisited that thread, and on Thursday I went to a local mall and I walked in to a Forever 21 store by telling myself no one seeing go in know what I'm doing I could be meeting my girlfriend who's shopping in there, and after I was in there I said pretty much the same thins except for all they know I could be buying for my girlfriend. basically people don't know you from a whole in the ground, and if you are scared go into a mall farther away to reduce the risk of people catching you.

I'm hoping to one day not live in fear but until that day, I'm going to try to expand my horizons.

[Danielle Gee]

My wife found a picture of me dressed but didn't say anything to me but did tell my daughters.ng back in.

Stacey: My youngest Daughter found a photo of me when she was 12 or 13 years old!!!! I was "out" to my wife at the tiime, so when my Daughter asked "Who's this woman?" My Sweetie thought fast and told her "That's your dads sister" Since my real sister had been killed years before, she bought the story. I did get a "strong" rebuke from my Sweetie about being more careful!!:eek:

Danielle

[StaceyJane]

Why would she do that?

I don't know but that's what she did. At first she was worried I was gay. Since I didn't know she knew I couldn't talk to her about this. Once everything came out we were able to talk.

[Karren H]

I always said I'd deal with that if and when it happened. Yet in my mine I thought I never would. Then my wife found some of my things and called me. And I dealt with it.. No lies no excuses. "I like to crossdress".

I think most of the people that know me suspect if not know. From their remarks.. Our Sr VP told me the other day "if I catch you wearing zebra high heels to work..." Lol

[kaitlin]

I have come to the point that if I'm hurt bad enough that I have to go right away to the hospital, then I'm not going to worry about what I'm wearing! I have spent a large part of my life in the medical field, you see alot and it gets to be no big deal. For me, my every day dress is painted toes, shaved legs, soon will be hose now that it's getting cooler, and panties! I guess I've done this for so long that it's just second nature!

[alyssaenglefield]

I'm with Katelin on that one - If you're injure severely enough to go to hospital, who cares what you wear.

I read a story in a real-life magazine some time ago of a woman who shared a shower with her SO. Things got a little steamy, she leaned on the glass, and fell right through (it was not safety glass). She ended up in Accident and Emergency wearing nothing but her birthday suit! Her SO was wearing a t-shirt and towel! The doctors didn't mind.

[NathalieX66]

I've kept my eyebrows fairly thin for a while, but now feel a little uneasy with the trimmed & bleached armhair, the pierced ears while in the conference room with my boss, my company president, and about 10 other people every morning. .....just please don't make me take my shoes & socks off so they see my red toenails.:heehee:

I'm glad I've found outlets. I wait for the day someone I know finds me on this board.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

In my very simplified self imposed philosphy on this is. "It's my body." It is no ones business if I shave, wear nail polish etc. I've had unexpected trips to the hospital where I'm sure doctors have noticed everything is shaved. Again none of their business on why, and I do not owe them or anyone else an explanation. I came to this attitude towards shaving when I was in a work/training situation where I could not shave for a few weeks due to sharing a room with other guys. I was miserable and felt sick having to see coarse hair all over my body. Never again will I go through feeling, that's what gives me my confidence to not care anymore.

[kimberly ann487]

I used to worry about being "outed" all the time. Well now that everyone important in my life knows about Kimberly, I actually feel better. Everything isn't coming up roses in my life, but the world didn't come to an end either. One day at a time.

[linnea]

I worried over these kinds of things for years--even decades--, but my worry was not constant, obsessive, or consistent. Sometimes, I said to myself, "I'll just deal with it if it happens." It never happened.
Then, about a year and a half ago, I began telling my family and finally my spouse. Since then I have been more bold about it all and less worried. I have almost no anxiety about having an accident and being discovered by medical staff. They have seen it all, and for those who have not seen it all, I am willing to help educate them.
It is troubling that any CD has to worry about such things, but it is the way of much of the world. Yet I think that things are changing in little increments.
I reached a stronger level of confidence as I became more accepting of myself to myself.

[PretzelGirl]

I look at it as I don't do anything I am not ready to be caught on. Now that does get run through the ole risk calculator in the mind, but this is my life, and within the limits of how I affect those that love me, I should be able to do what I want. Does that mean I don't expect repercussions for getting caught? Not at all. But I am not going to get worried about what might never happen.

How do I not worry? I think it is part the way each of us is wired and part self-acceptance. I am the kind of person that learned over the years to control my stress or it runs wild. The result is that I just don't get worked up. And I am quite happy (and probably lucky) that I have a good deal of self-acceptance. Every since I started dressing, it wasn't an issue I let run wild through my mind. This is me so why let it bother me?

[tricia_uktv]

I think it goes something like.

Accept who you are
Live with who you are by slowly changing things
Talk and learn about who you from others and people on forums like these
Realise that if people don't like it its their fault
Dress again and again, firstly in friendly places then in openly in public
Develop your confidence
Become proud of yourself
Develop your attitude
Ensure that everybody who needs to know who you are, knows

You are then totally out and not afraid about anything or anybody. It does take a lot of time and effort though.

There is no harm or shame in being transgendered,

Hugs

[Loni]

i pluck, preen, trim, paint, polish. not too worried if someone notices, but with in the past number of years only one has said anything, and it was about my nails, she asked if i had a manicure. yes clear coat on top of shear pink.
but in the town i live in i keep a very low profile. kinda redneck.
as for family. no kids, no wife. only my mom and I left, and she knows Loni.
friends...never stop by as i live out of the way (a number of miles), and with my work/life schedule one never knows when i might be home...or awake.
and most of even my "male" clothing comes from the womens dept. womens jeans just fit better not all baggy in the rear.

i love being who i am.
.

[suchacutie]

Let's step away from ourselves for a minute and look from the outside:

1) I don't have wild hair growing from my ears and nose.
2) I moisturize my skin and it's not all wrinkled or cracked or whatever.
3) I watch my weight and I enjoy looking good in either gender.
4) My eyebrows are shaped...meaning they aren't 3 inches long and looking like the lawnmower might be my best bet!
5) I don't expect to be showing off my panties to anyone except my wife, but if I'm in the hospital who cares what I came in with!
6) I wear woman's jeans, but they fit better and 10% of the male population agrees with me from what I've read recently.
7) My nails are neatly trimmed and covered with a matte finish. Frankly, they look good and it's very difficult to notice that they are anything but buffed.

How is all of this not enhancing both of my genders? Ok, I don't wear red nail polish to work, and usually no ear adornment, but then again I take off all my jewelry in the lab. Also, no one wears nail polish to the lab if you expect to not damage the polish (acetone does a real number on it :) ).

So, not only do I have to ask, "what is there to "catch"", but doesn't a lot of what we do make us more attractive in any gender?

tina

[Amanda22]

And for those who don’t care or don’t worry about this, how did you get yourself to this level of confidence?
Danielle

I can honestly say that I don't care who knows that I crossdress. That shift happened when I came out to my wonderful, understanding wife. Hers is the only opinion that matters to me. Anyone else can kiss my you-know-what if they think I'm deviant, messed up, or whatever. I consider myself fortunate to feel this way.

[Alaceann]

I had to go to the Dr's for a check uo with my panties&pantihose on with my toenails painted. When he said to take off my shoes & socks. when he saw my toes all he did was raise his eyebrows. when the nurse saw them she didn't even flinch. When I had go across the hall for blood work there she was. I'm sure she told the girls there about my nails but nothing was said.

[AllieSF]

i have slowly feminized my look over the past 3 1/2 years since I started all this wonderful "stuff". I have reached the point where my legs, inner arms, underarms are completely hair free and the rest of my arm hair is trimmed real short. I have trimmed and shaped brows that are about as far as I would like to go for the look that I like. I pierced my ears and my kids didn't like it and the rest of my friends and family more or less accept it without comments. I like to read my daughters In Style magazine and ask for her old copies when I visit her house. My finger nails are longish, "Dad, cut your nails" long, and always have some type of clear or very transparent pink polish on them. I tend to leave things out once in awhile that should not be left out (tops, skirts, etc.). I am single with my grown son living here. After all this I expect that my son and daughter, and probably their confidants (close friends), may have some idea that Dad has changed over the last few years, and maybe even suspect or actually know more. I am in that, if they find out mode, I will deal with it then and be as honest as I need to be. They, in my opinion, are on a no need to tell basis. What I do away from home does not impact them in any way. I am an adult, and old one, and I have that right to enjoy my life before it ends way too soon. I clearly understand the risks involved and am more than capable of dealing with them when and if I may need to do that.

[Cassie/Charlie]

I was caught once by my sister, it was particularly embarrassing, she didn't say much just asked me what I was doing and why I was wearing her make-up, then I think she just kind of forgot about it.

[Rachel Morley]

I have come to the point that if I'm hurt bad enough that I have to go right away to the hospital, then I'm not going to worry about what I'm wearing!


In my very simplified self imposed philosophy on this is. "It's my body." It is no ones business if I shave, wear nail polish etc.

These two quotes pretty much sum up how I feel about it all. I'm me, no one can tell me what I should and shouldn't do (except maybe my wife LOL :heehee:) .... I'm not breaking any laws and I'm not hurting anyone.

Over the past 2-3 years I've steadily increased and feminized my boy self to to the point that I do think I stand out as being "different". I have no body hair. My eyebrows are tweezed very thin, my nails are long for a guy (1/8" past my finger tips) and are shaped and and always painted in either shiny clear for work, or a subtle color on the weekends. My toenails are always painted in a bright color. I always wear a bra and panties and sometimes my girls tees are thin enough to show a suggestion of a bra strap. I have not got "caught" yet by anyone at work or the neighbors or whatever. My wife is supportive so there's no problem there. If and when it does happen, I'm going to be super nonchalant about it all. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. If I'm "pushed into a corner" I'll just shrug and say "yeah, I know its weird to some people, but I happen to like it" :)

[Kate17]

Ditto to most of the above. My wife asked me not to embarass her - meaning wear my girl stuff to the neighbors party. When the time comes, and it will, I will just deal with it. I am always in panties and have toe polish in adition to full shave and plucked eyebrows so I think I am already pushing the limit. No one has said anything so far - I do remove the toe polish when we go water skiing with our friends - again not to embarass her. What was funny once, a couple of the guys showed up with nail polish one day - they had some good excuses. Any way, the last question is what do you do when caught. Well I forgot to take off my earrings one day and a neighbor came over and said my- I did not know you wore earrings. I just said yep, aren't they pretty. She had no answer for that.

[Carly D]

What am I afraid of if I were caught?? The unknown more than anything else.. I figure there are the known elements of "are you gay?? are you weird?? molest children?? molest puppies??" yadda yadda yadda.. But the truth is telling was attractive to me a few years ago (ten years ago and then a couple years as well) but my fear of telling isn't the known or the unknown but rather the fact that this little secret I've been keeping for the better part of my life couldn't be undone.. To tell would mean it's out there.. Everyone knows and there is no going back.. No way of being the way it is now.. For better or worse this is the way I want it to be for now and indefinitely.. I have gone out dressed, and being out doesn't mean in public but rather in controlled situation such as a one person situation... I can honestly say maybe up to a hundred people have seen me dressed this way but didn't know it.. I was going about my normal day to day things just not in male clothing and it was night time as well.. Dimly lit areas..

[Cassi3]

I'm not really worried about the neighbors finding out, except for one or two. What I am afraid of is my dad finding out. He has no clue and as homophobic as he is, though he says he isn't, he would definitely ask me to leave. He equates CD'ing with being gay or having some serious mental issue.

[julia ann]

That is a question that had always bothered me. However, about two months ago my three boys found out about daddy, it was all good they seemed to understand. Since than I have thinned my eyebrows alot, thinned and lightened my arm hair and go out on a regular basis with a light coat of mascara and always clear polished nails with no fear. The wife already knew and now that the kids know there is no one else to hide from. If an accident were to happen it would be a little embarrasing but once I got past the kids anyone else will be easy.l

[bobbiexd]

Yes! The SO knows(has known for many years) and I believe 1 of my 2 daughters, but in this scenario and were I live(the other side of the backwater-redkneck town) embarrassing would be the least of the problems.

[Michaela42]

Well, yes and no. On one hand I think being 'outed' would allow me to further express my feminine side. I am under no illusions thought that not everyone would accept me; hell, most of them do not accept the 'me' that is here now.

As I have grown and matured I have pretty much cut anyone out of my life that was not absolutely necessary and who would not accept 'Makaila' in any way, but there are still a few that would not accept me that I have not been able to cut ties with yet. That time will come, I know, and hopefully everyone involved will be able to keep control of their emotions and think rationally. :daydreaming:

[Tess]

. If and when it does happen, I'm going to be super nonchalant about it all. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. If I'm "pushed into a corner" I'll just shrug and say "yeah, I know its weird to some people, but I happen to like it" :)

I like that and it is now my contingency plan if discovered. Most of you girls are far braver than I. The fear of being outed keeps my feminizing to a minimum. My wife doesn't know but I'm able to go a little further than you would suspect because my wife has medical issues which give her horrible vision and almost no sense of smell. Her medical condition is to complex to go into here but it allows me a certain level of freedom with feminizing baby steps. I wear panties most days, shave my underarms, keep my toe nails buffed and shinned to a high gloss, wear women's deodorant and sometimes perfume. And I'll probably continue to push slowly forward without going over board. As far as a situation that would put me in the ER, I'm in denial.

[jessica renee]

Mine is a unique situation. While I have been out shopping, running errands, and doing day-to-day tasks in girl mode, my friends and family do not know about Jessica. I don't really worry about an accident or something similar, because as previously stated, I figure that ER personnel have probably seen most everything. Also, if I'm hurt bad enough to need emergency care, I would hope what I was wearing would be the least of their worries.

As for my friends, family, and co-workers finding out, I actually do worry about that because I know that some of them would not be accepting. Granted, some would be, but I just don't want to test my ideas of which would and which wouldn't.

[BRANDYJ]

Hmmm? Being caught? It depends on who might catch me. I am out to my SO, so that's not an issue. I had to go to the hospital for surgury once and the 2 nurses commented on my shaved chest when they were hooking up the EKG. One asked why I shaved it. I simply said that my sweetheart likes it that way and that was the end of it. They did not ask about the shaved legs or pits though. I think in the future if a doctor or nurse asked about the shaved body, I'd simply say I prefer ti that way and let it go.

[chelle]

I wear panties every day except when I have a Dr appointment. I did have my panties on several times at the Dr, but they were rather bland and could be seen as male undies. Once however I have my better panties on and the Dr said I needed a shot in my hip so had to expose my panties and nothing was said. I keep my chest and underarms shaved and get a echo cardiogram done every year and heart Dr never said anything. I even taught his kids in school. I drove about 200 miles home tonight fully dressed and wondered what I'd do if I had a wreck. I often am dressed on long trips with wife. She has said "one day its going to happen"

[eluuzion]

Yep, I have wondered about the issue. Nope…have not been “caught”, yet…

My curiosity took a different but similar path on the issue in a past thread. It’s around here someplace. I had a hernia about a year ago, which of course I procrastinated seeing a surgeon about, just like I do with dental issues and dentist appointments, lol.

My question was…if some catastrophe presented itself when I was “dressed”, would I risk further injury by taking the time to “change clothes” before I called for help?

Well, lucky me, I got to find out the answer to that question. That minor “bump” in my groin turned into an emergency one night while watching TV. I ended up flat on my back on the bathroom floor, (in a little black dress and 5” pumps) holding my palm over my groin in an effort to keep my entrails from squishing out under my skin.

As I lay there living the nightmare every person living alone hopes to avoid, I got my answer. I would rather risk my health than commit “social suicide”, lol. So, I took a deep breath and began the mission of trying to change clothes and “clean up” before calling for “help”. I lived happily ever after, but it was interesting to learn how much I am willing to risk to maintain control over who knows what about my personal life…

Oh, and yes, the next day I did schedule hernia repair surgery … :battingeyelashes:

:love:

[Juanita O]

well the biggest fear I have is being caught out in public. I used to worry about getting caught in public because the job I retired form you need a security clearance. I know that I don't pass very well and that is what is holding me back.

[Sarah Doepner]

I was caught by my mother nearly 50 years ago and nothing really happened. Several years ago my wife came home while I was changing and although I wasn't formally caught, I outted myself to her. After a couple of weeks, some research and discussions she was comfortable with it. Just over 2 years ago I retired and, as far as I can tell, the Retirement system won't fire me or dock my pay because I'm a crossdresser.

That leaves friends and family. My friends will find out one of these days, I'll tell them, just to get it out of the way and I'm confident they will remain my friends. The rest of the family will be an issue because my wife doesn't want her very elderly parents to have to deal with it. Since they live next door, I am careful at home. Our kids will probably be okay with my crossdressing, but the grandchildren will be a big judgement call. We'll probably have to be out to their parents before anything is addressed there. However, they do approve of my Nurse costume on Halloween.

What will I say when I'm caught next time? I'll try to focus on how nothing is different about me from the last time that person saw me other than how I'm dressed. If I can do that and not panic, things should go well enough.

[Jilmac]

I used to worry about being caught (especially by my kids) when I had a hidden stash in the basement and dressed covertly. My wife knew but totally disapproved and was in deep denile. My wife passed away in 2007 which gave me the opportunity to dress as I wish any time. I have a new SO now who knows all about Jill and my kids are all on their own so I don't have to concern myself with being caught by them.

That being said, I now wear panties 24/7 (drab or dressed), keep my toenails painted and lags shaved, had my ears pierced, and keep my closet filled with all my pretty clothes. I have had physical exams, that wonderful (LOL) experience of a prostate exam, and various checks by my nurse/practitioner at my local VA medical center, and I don't really give a rats a** if somebody sees my panties, shaved legs or painted toenails.

The biggest reason for my change of attitude is simple; There's no harm being done to anybody, and it's nobody's business what I choose to wear. I always try to use discretion in respect to certain boundries between me and my SO, but being caught is no longer an issue for me.

[Emily Ann Brown]

When caught, I had the big talk and dumped it all on the table. Was January 2006...the hell started August 2006...I signed the separation agreement May 2007...the final divorce was March 2008. Any fear is it becoming an issue a work, but I have pierced ears and wear studs. The hair is mine. I have too long for guy nails. I survived the accident..had painted toenails and pantyhose on when the meds saw me. Oh well. Put me into the "don't give a flip anymore"catagory.

Em

[CuriousAdmirer]

I'm terrified to be caught but at the same time I think it'd be a lot less stress off my back with the truth out there.

[LoriFlores]

These two quotes pretty much sum up how I feel about it all. I'm me, no one can tell me what I should and shouldn't do (except maybe my wife LOL :heehee:) .... I'm not breaking any laws and I'm not hurting anyone.

Over the past 2-3 years I've steadily increased and feminized my boy self to to the point that I do think I stand out as being "different". I have no body hair. My eyebrows are tweezed very thin, my nails are long for a guy (1/8" past my finger tips) and are shaped and and always painted in either shiny clear for work, or a subtle color on the weekends. My toenails are always painted in a bright color. I always wear a bra and panties and sometimes my girls tees are thin enough to show a suggestion of a bra strap. I have not got "caught" yet by anyone at work or the neighbors or whatever. My wife is supportive so there's no problem there. If and when it does happen, I'm going to be super nonchalant about it all. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. If I'm "pushed into a corner" I'll just shrug and say "yeah, I know its weird to some people, but I happen to like it" :)

Rachel and I are in full agreement here. If I'm ever in an accident, I have bigger things to worry about than my bodies feminization. I've gotten to the point that this is me and I'm OK with it.

[paulaloha]

I must admit I am still afraid of being outed.

Though mostly it is to my friends, I think they might be OK with it, but I'm still too afraid to find out.

I think my parents would be cool with it as they are pretty open minded and understanding. But I still haven't really talked to them much about it. I know that at least my dad knows I dress a little bit. He came home early one day while I was dressed, I didn't hear him come in the house so he just walked into the kitchen while I was sitting there dressed in a skirt and tank top with a stuffed bra under it.

I never go out in public dressed, but sometimes I will drive somewhere if it's early in the morning or late at night, with a skirt on or something. I always keep it below the waist.
Though if I were in an accident or something I wouldn't really worry about it if I were seriously hurt. I know Paramedics, Doctors and Nurses get to see lots of things and I don't think that would be terrible if they found out. I'm sure they have seen worse in their line of work.

[Jorja]

Before I decided to transition and become a girl I always worried about being found out. The longer I stayed in the closet, the more mistakes I made until one day it happened. When accidently left my stash trunk unlocked and my then wife found it, I answered like this. No, these are not womens clothes,THEY ARE MINE, EVEN THE HEELS! We tried to deal with it but she just couldn't handle it. She filed for divorce 3 weeks later.

[Amy Lynn3]

I figure if it happens I'll deal with it then, like the other day. I had a sinus infection and went to my doctor, which is female. She said I must give you a shot, along with pills. I pulled up my shirt sleeve to take my shot and she said no....this must go in the butt. When my pants came down my white Shadowline panties were all that was showing. I started pulling those down and she helped get them down and gave me the shot and never blinked an eye.

[Sallee]

I think only us CD worry about getting caught I have known a few guys who where toe nail polish usually black so that is kind of macho. I have done it several times and have been questioned. My answer was that I was getting pedicure and I had to pay for the painting whether I got it or not. Don't now if it worked but nothing more was said. Most folks won't notice and if they do nothing will be said

[Asako]

Honestly, yes I was afraid of my parents seeing me. Today, my dad happened to do just that. We both kept our heads at the time but I think for a while I broke his mind with the way his body language came across! Me? I know my body language was a little akward but I acted as if nothing was amiss. ^.^ He didn't say anything when he dropped me off at work or when he picked me up. It's probably picked at him all night too. =/ So yea, my contingency is to act like nothing is wrong and honestly, nothing IS wrong.

[lingerieLiz]

Well once upon a time I was worried about getting caught. Then I was caught, caught again ... , and again. Nothing happened much after the first time when I was about 11. My dad gave me a terrible explanation about sex and had no clue about CDing or much else. I've worn panties most of my adult life and now wear a bra much of the time. My wife told me the other day that I have bigger boobs than a lot of women.

My military neighbors knew when I was in the service. Thin drapes. Had a girl where I shopped for clothes introduce me to her dad (sgt) by saying. "He buys all his clothes at our (dress) shop."

Had a doctor notice my panties during treatment. She snapped them to let me know she was aware. She was cute and the next time I came in for treatment she said wow we have on the same.

Have had neighbors walk in unexpectedly. My neighbors where I live now know I wear women's clothes. My wife once outed me to her gg friends about my choice of lingerie by accident. I'm sure they told their husbands. All are still friends. I go shopping with the gg's and buy things if I desire.

I have traveled a lot and have worn bras. Been wanded a few times and had a gg flight attendant put her hand on my back to balance and feel my bra band. She apologized, but recovered. I told her it was fine. Had one gal look down my shirt and see my bra. She gave me the biggest smile. Have gotten up on stage to claim a valuable door prize in a silk shirt with bra under it. None of the couple hundred mostly male audience said anything later except how lucky I was.

All this is to let you know that you will get through it. Some people may have a problem with it, but that is not your problem. It is theirs. I've always been friendly and easy going. I have had a few people who had issues with it over the years. No one has tried to verbally or physically do anything even though I'm not big. I usually don't go out enfem, but do wear women's clothes openly (no skirts or dresses, no one does here except for special occasions).

[t-girlxsophie]

I would suggest that doctors and other medical staff have seen all sorts of weird and wonderful things,so a guy with painted toenails aint gonna freak them out.Although the last time I was rushed to hospital I did have time to clean of my toenail polish

I do a lot to Feminize myself,but most of it is undercover,Although I play soccer,and my bare legs and arms are on show,but I've never had any cause for concern,Anything further i may want to pursue will be after discussion with my wife,before deciding whether to go forward with any changes

:hugs:Sophie xx

[Rachaelb64]

I got caught by my ex-wife, hence her being my ex.

I have gone thro a lot of heartache and struggle to accept myself and to tell those who are important to me, my GF, kids, sister and mum.

So if anyone else finds out, my answer to them is; 'And your problem with it is....?'

[GingerLeigh]

AAAAAGH! My heart would explode in fear and I'd probably c#$p my pants!

Well, I would at first...but...

Given a second thought, who really cares? There are far worse things being caught doing than crossdressing. Committing a major crime? Hurting someone intentionally? The planet will continue to turn, and life will go on. OK, so now someone knows you like women's clothes. Maybe that someone is one of your coworkers or significant other. So what? Is it something I want people to talk about behind my back? No, but at least they're not saying I'm a complete idiot, or saying I'm incompetent, criminally insane or abusive.
So I like silk, lace and pantyhose? Who doesn't? Wanna borrow a dress?


GingerLeigh

[Tommie Rae]

I am out to my wife, my neighbors, my doctors, my dentist, several friends, several boutique owners, makeup artists, and who knows who else. I do not go out en femme very much, but when I do I make it worth my while and I try to look good. I really do not care what anyone thinks about me, and when people ask me why, I tell them it is just a lot of fun. End of story.

[AKAMichelle]

I don't worry about anybody finding out except for my clients. Since I am so protective of that part, I don't see a point to have a contingency plan. If it happens then I deal with the fallout.

[Laura_Stephens]

Long story short....

Last February I was out of town. I was at a major conference related to the industry in which I work. On that particular day, I was the keynote speaker. There were around 400 people in attendence. I wore my usual 3 piece suit -- VERY corporate looking. Of course, underneath, I had on panties, hose, and a bra.

About 10 minutes before I was to speak, I started feeling VERY bad. 20 feet from away the stage where I was going to speak, I passed out and hit the floor. All 400 people saw me "hit the deck" - so I was told.

When I woke up, I was in an ambulance with an IV hanging out of my arm. At that point, I was alert enough to see that I was still fully dressed except someone had taken my jacket off and rolled up my sleeve in order to start the IV.

Got to the hospital and was taken into a little cubby in the ER. After I was stabilized, I was given a gown and a nurse said that I just had to take off my vest, tie, and shirt. She said I could leave my pants and socks on. My shoes were already off.

I needed help to accomplish this and as you probably already guessed, she saw the bra I was wearing. She acted like it was 100% normal and an everyday occurance. She asked me if any family members or anyone else I knew would be coming to the hospital. I said "No" since I was 1,000 miles from home. She said that if I wanted her to hide any of my "underthings" she would take care of everything. I thanked her, reached for her hand, and gently squeezed it.

About 10 hours later., I was released from the hospital and I called a cab to take me to my hotel. It was a close call, but no one other than the nicest nurse IN THE WORLD found out anything.

BTW, the reason I passed out was a dispensing error on the part of my local pharmacy. They gave my a medication that was different than that which my doc had presribed.

The moral of the story? ALWAYS check the meds you get from a pharmacy. They are human and make mistakes like anyone else -- AND -- the people who work in the ER are better people than most of us realize.

[joanieb]

I'm confident enough to not care what others think (I refuse to give others that much control over me).

My body is shaved, my eye brows are plucked, my toes are painted, my nails are manicured and usually painted with some light shade if I am in my male guise. I wear nothing but panties and often wear clothing that is female (you should see what the guys are wearing in Europe, let alone the man bags, the US is so reserved when it comes to male personas).

My fears. Non for myself. I have an attitude that is curtious kind and reverent and a life style that is more of a domestic then a bread winner so I have little to loose and could care less because I know I am a good person. My only fear is that in some way, my being who I am will disrupt my loving caring and supportive wives life. So it is for her, on her terms and with her blessing that I do only that which will not upset her tea cart.

My secret, complete and utter honesty with those that matter to me, and the desire to have what I believe should be gotten from that which I do in life. It's not easy but it;s the only way I can survive.

[joanieb]

I needed help to accomplish this and as you probably already guessed, she saw the bra I was wearing. She acted like it was 100% normal and an everyday occurance. She asked me if any family members or anyone else I knew would be coming to the hospital. I said "No" since I was 1,000 miles from home. She said that if I wanted her to hide any of my "underthings" she would take care of everything. I thanked her, reached for her hand, and gently squeezed it.


This is why I have such a possitive attitude about life. There are far more wonderful people in it, then there are those wish us harm. Thank you for shareing such a compassionate story Laura, I only hope that you are doing well and that others see this as an example of the wonderful people willing to go out of their ways for those of us who don't seem to fit the rule.

[Lorileah]

She told us about a patient who came in with painted toenails. He said he hadn't planned on being in an accident.



thats why they call them accidents otherwise they would be on purposes.

Must be that time of year again so here's the answer. No one cares in an emergency wat you are wearing, it is going to be cut off and they have bigger fish to fry than worrying about you toes, your bra, your lipstick. It isn't illegal, it isn't immoral. It isn't dangerous or a risk to your health. It is a made up line that someone decided that certain clothing in this society should belong to one sex over the other. There is no stone tablet that describes what a man should wear and what a woman should wear.

No I don't worry about getting "caught". If someone needs to know or finds out I own up and say "so what?" I have not met anyone with a good answer and if I get any grief at all it is the typical "You must be gay" to which I reply "and that matters to you how? You looking for a date?"

We are our own worst enemies on this. We make the fear and in our minds the fear comes true. I don't go out of my way to make my underwear or toes seen but hey if your lookin'...you must have a reason

[Elizabeth Martin]

Many of the posters here are right. I work in an ER and yes...we have seen it all and nothing fazes us. In a severe trauma case we don't even give the clothes a second thought. We see painted toenails and lacy panties and bras on men. Those that are conscious are sputtering to explain. We reassure them we are professional, have seen it and pass no judgment. We are professionals and do what needs to be done, regardless of race, color, creed and proclivity. Everyone bleeds the same.

So don't be ashamed or embarrassed. You're doing nothing wrong.

Elizabeth

[Sharon B.]

About the only ones I worry about is friends that don't know I enjoy dressing as a woman and a few male neighbors but I'm sure their wifes have told them that I dress as a woman as a few have seen me either in the backyard or leaving the house dressed as a woman.
I would like to start dressing more and to start going out more as a woman.

[Margot]

Be Prepared!! I am 100% shaved and ears are pierced. I do go out wearing bras sweaters and fem slacks and no one has said a word. I wear minimal makeup. So far so good. Like others I don't want to embarras my wife or myself for that matter.
I was at a pirate themed party last year and wore one of my frilly blouses as a top (no bra). One of the women remarked out loud after looking down my blouse that I had very nice cleavage. She did not say anything about my shaved chest. I remarked back that a lady shouldn't be peaking . We all laughed and that was the end of it. They also asked where I got the frilly blouse. I just said I'm a pirate, it's a tunic.

[Detroit Molly]

I'm out to my wife, a close girlfriend, my shrink, and you ladies. My wife is coming to grips with it, but is generally supportive and awesome. Honestly, I'm not afraid of my friends finding out, as they're all pretty laid-back and accepting of people of every stripe. My parents and sister are a thousand miles away, so it's not like my dad's going to show up while I'm flouncing around the house in a skirt (not that he'd probably care, nor would my mother for that matter after they got over the shock of it). I'm kind of feminized with serious body shaving and painted toes and such, but I'm a writer and stay-at-home dad, so I don't have an office or co-workers or boss to worry about. I don't know, I guess I'm not that worried about being found out, but if it happens I'd like it to be on my terms so I can control the message as it were.

[Tamii]

I'm about 85% shaved (like a normal girl) ears pierced, and i don't realy dress out of the house unless i'm going some where "Tamii specific" and no one close other than my gf of 3 years knows about me (and thinks I stopped when I met her, even tho i shave daily). I have ran the scenario in my head millions of times and it always ends the same way. Me prob. lying my way out with something like "I just started back this month/week" or "I just wanted to see if the feelings where still there".
I used to work a a cyber cafe when i was 18 and a co-worker found a pic of me on AdultFriendFinder (this was back when it was free and just starting) I remembertelling him it was all a j/k and photoshopped me and a friend photoshopped each other and made fake Trans profiles.....I don't think he beleived me tho.....lol but it never got brought up again.

[Babette]

[QUOTE]Do any of you who “under-dress”, shaves all over, paints your toenails or otherwise feminizes your body ever obsess about being caught?

All of the above applies to me except for obsessing over being caught. I've been doing it for years and nobody has ever said anything directly to me. I really don't think they care.


Assuming anyone who does these things are out to their SO, what about your Kids? Do any of you participate in a sport or other activity that requires disrobing in a locker room?

The only problem my wife has with any of it is deciding which color she will paint our toenails. She really likes to do that sort of thing. The kids are grown and I don't think they would appreciate knowing all there is too know. Therefore, I don't want to complicate their lives. As far as the locker room is concerned, yes, I disrobe in one every morning. Nobody has ever made any comments.

Have you ever thought of what you’d do if you were in an accident, and had to make an unexpected trip to the Doctor or hospital?
I see my doctor twice a year. We are good friends both personally and professionally. If I read him correctly, he could care less about my under garmets or lack of body hair. I'm sure he has seen crazier things with other people. My wife and I always joke with each other before leaving the house. She asks if I had on clean panties. "Don't embarrass yourself or me by not having clean panties if you have an accident," she says. If I'm in a bad accident, I don't think my panties would not survive being clean anyway.


For those of you who worry about this, I like to hear about your “contingency” plan. For those who have been caught, what happened next? And for those who don’t care or don’t worry about this, how did you get yourself to this level of confidence?

Well, I'm not sure how I got to this level of confidence. I suppose it was a gradual change. Twenty years ago, I would have been extremely concerned about this. Now, I don't care.

Personally, I’m aware of the repercussions of being outed. In this “backwater, red-neck” part of the country in which I reside, it could be serious! I’m as careful as I can be, and I trust luck to the rest. I’ve already decided that if my family Doctor sees me and asks, I just going to come clean to him.

Trust me Dani, I don't think there are too many places more "backwater and red necked" than where I live. Even with the aforementioned details of my personal appearance, I still don't go out fully dressed in my home town. There are some things that my instinct defines as beyond the limits of safety. Furthermore, I have to consider my wife's professional status within our community.

Long fingernails are the only thing I don't have. That's a black mark on my CD status, but I just don't like them.

Good post Dani!

Babette