Elizabeth Ann
10-02-2010, 12:53 PM
Relax. This is not a moral question. There is no right or wrong answer.
I have been thinking a lot lately about change. Sometimes it happens by brute force, but more often it is the result of things getting out of balance. Whether this little shift in balance results in change or not is a function of whether our equilibrium is stable or unstable. An equilibrium is when all forces are balanced. Nothing happens. Now give it a little push and see what results from this small shock to the system.
A stable equilibrium is like a pendulum. Give it a push and the swinging slowly settles back to the original equilibrium. An unstable equilibrium is like a domino set on end. Nothing happens until you give it a little push, and then it keeps going until it reaches a new equilibrium, flat on the table. Complex systems are the same. Business cycles are said to be markets swinging back into stable equilibrium. Atomic bombs are the ultimate unstable equilibrium. Our personal lives are the same. Some marriages or friendships survive the worst crises, while sometimes fierce feuds grow from a single slight.
From this forum, it seems that crossdressing can be stable or unstable. We get stressed, or we have periods when we can't dress, and then we engage in a little flurry of dressing to calm us down or get our fix, and then we are okay for a while. But some of us get a taste of something new, and want more. Escalation leads us far and forever away from the old equilibrium.
Is your crossdressing stable or unstable? Does it keep you centered, or push you over the edge into new worlds? Maybe it depends on the type of shock (push) you received. Financial, job, or personal stress? Crossdressing might be stabilizing. Being outed or telling your SO? Maybe destabilizing? Maybe it changes over time: a pink fog for a while and then it clears. I wonder if it is mostly stable for crossdressers, mostly unstable for transexuals.
And mostly I wonder what it means for our own behavior. Alcoholics recognize that drinking is a fundamentally unstable behavior for themselves, and simply "don't go there." I am NOT equating the two, but many of us on this forum have expressed a desire for crossdressing not to be so controlling in our lives. How do we do that? It seems much easier not to tip the domino than it is to try to set it back up.
Liz
I have been thinking a lot lately about change. Sometimes it happens by brute force, but more often it is the result of things getting out of balance. Whether this little shift in balance results in change or not is a function of whether our equilibrium is stable or unstable. An equilibrium is when all forces are balanced. Nothing happens. Now give it a little push and see what results from this small shock to the system.
A stable equilibrium is like a pendulum. Give it a push and the swinging slowly settles back to the original equilibrium. An unstable equilibrium is like a domino set on end. Nothing happens until you give it a little push, and then it keeps going until it reaches a new equilibrium, flat on the table. Complex systems are the same. Business cycles are said to be markets swinging back into stable equilibrium. Atomic bombs are the ultimate unstable equilibrium. Our personal lives are the same. Some marriages or friendships survive the worst crises, while sometimes fierce feuds grow from a single slight.
From this forum, it seems that crossdressing can be stable or unstable. We get stressed, or we have periods when we can't dress, and then we engage in a little flurry of dressing to calm us down or get our fix, and then we are okay for a while. But some of us get a taste of something new, and want more. Escalation leads us far and forever away from the old equilibrium.
Is your crossdressing stable or unstable? Does it keep you centered, or push you over the edge into new worlds? Maybe it depends on the type of shock (push) you received. Financial, job, or personal stress? Crossdressing might be stabilizing. Being outed or telling your SO? Maybe destabilizing? Maybe it changes over time: a pink fog for a while and then it clears. I wonder if it is mostly stable for crossdressers, mostly unstable for transexuals.
And mostly I wonder what it means for our own behavior. Alcoholics recognize that drinking is a fundamentally unstable behavior for themselves, and simply "don't go there." I am NOT equating the two, but many of us on this forum have expressed a desire for crossdressing not to be so controlling in our lives. How do we do that? It seems much easier not to tip the domino than it is to try to set it back up.
Liz