I think those who have come out at work are so brave

[StaceyJane]

Lately I've been thinking alot about how I could come out to my job that I'm planning on becoming a woman. I know I've posted before about how scared I am of that.
I know in my heart that I would be happier living my life as a woman. I've begun to spend a lot of time out as a woman and it just feels right for me.
I jut can't imagine having the courage to come out to my co worker. let me say that I have a job working as a civillian with the army and evryone I work with is either in the army or ex army. The thing is, I really like my job and I know they can't outright fire me but I just can imagine feeling comfortable after coming out.
I'm a private keep to myself kind of person and this pushes me way, way way past my comfort zone.
I really have to say that I really admire those of you who have transitioned on the job.

[Sara74]

I feel your pain Stacey. Although I have never stepped out of the house as Sara, I still am consumed by the thoughts of could I one day actually pull this off...and then what? What do I do for work? I have a "manly man" job working in a distribution center and I am one of the managers there. It is a good job and I have a foreseeable future there, but there is absolutely no way I could ever maintain that if I transition. So this question is forever haunting to me. I too am a very private person and just the thought of walking outside my door as Sara would make me feel like there are 30 cameras on me and I am live on a new NBC reality show. It's scary. So my kudos go out to all of you who had the guts to do this as well. It trully is an inspiration to keep moving forward, I just hope I can one day corral the courage that many of you have done. Nice thread Stacey! :)

[Melissa A.]

No one is born with guts. Both of you have more in common with those who have come out than you think.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Faith_G]

I wasn't brave at first, I was scared and shaking like a leaf the first few (more like the first 20) times I went out of the house. I had to force myself to go do things, I didn't just accidentally become comfortable being who I am in public. That takes time and experience. It's OK to be scared, just stop allowing your fears to control you and you will have found the true meaning of courage.

[Byanca]

I could not ever do something like that. I am far far to sensitive to others emotional reactions, and sub consciousness. Maybe to the the point of being paranoid and mentally disordered.

However. I would move, and start with blank pages.

If people know that one have used to be male(or have the junk) I find it hard to believe that they will ever be able to purge their minds from these memories and they will sneak in and affect how they feel.

I don't know why I'm so sensitive to these things. But it is really having a negative impact on my well being. I also don't want to think so negatively about other. But I do.

There are exceptions though, and these are like bright beacons in the darkness. But are so far between.

I have huge respect for those that can do this. It's what makes things better for all of us.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Like Faith, I too was scared to death my first trip out. I had butterflies like you can't believe. I was shaking like a leaf blowing in the wind. I could hardly hold the steering wheel. The closer I got to my destination, the worse it got. I parked my vehicle as close to the store as I could so I could make a mad dash in without anyone noticing me. But instead, I just sat there telling myself to start the engine and get the heck out of there.

But this was something I had to do. So I took several deep slow breaths and without giving myself another opportunity to back out, I jerked to car door open & quickly grabbed my purse and spammed the door shut.

I told myself, "this is it - either I am going to be the laughing stock of the world or I would at least semi-blend in. Well, I remember it as if it were yesterday, I shopped for about 2.5 hours and no one I had noticed even gave me a second look. I even had one elder lady come up to me and ask me a question about an item she wanted to buy. It was a life changing event for me.

Now, well I am me (Traci) 24/7 and give absolutely no thought about others or my appearance other than looking my best and presenting a classy lady image. Most people call me ma'am and there are some who I am sure aren't quite sure and don't call me anything.

As much as I hate to say this, but I think the fact that I have a decedent set of boobs with very pronounced cleavage really helps. I don't hide them and am known to always wear low or lower cut tank tops. But that is another story.

My real point was in the beginning, I was scared to death but I think that was a good thing to have gone through. It let me see just how committed I was and was not going to let fear stop me from being the woman I have always known I was.

[Veronica_Jean]

Stacy,

I'm sure you read some of my previous posts, but I am a contractor working on an Air Force Base with civilian, active duty military, and several other contractors. Most of the civilians and other contractors are retired military, many of them fighter pilots (some still flying too).

I have been full time since 21 June, and I have received nothing but respect from all of them. We even had a change of command and the new "bird" (full colonel or captain if Navy) wanted a brief on the work I had been doing. So, of course I gave it to him and he was impressed with what we had been doing, but nothing about me not sounding or looking like a woman or anything at all. We have had 2 and 3 stars tour through recently, and they are all very polite and don't blink an eye. As you can see, the civil service management staff has no issue in putting me out in front of some very important folks for the future of our division.

My point is that yes you too can do this. The only thing stopping you is you.

I am not pretty and I sound like an old hag that has had a few too many cigarettes, especially after an hour or so giving a brief. Yet no one seems to care one little bit.

I do understand your fear, as I spent almost a year preparing to transition. The first few times I found myself in the ladies with another woman, I was so scared I couldn't even pee. Now though, I am much calmer, happier, and I feel I have been accepted into the social circle of the women where I work too. I can happen... I'm proof.

Thanks for all your kind words, but I don't really feel all that brave.

Veronica

[Rianna Humble]

I think those who have come out at work are so brave

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I could come out to my job that I'm planning on becoming a woman. I know I've posted before about how scared I am of that.
I know in my heart that I would be happier living my life as a woman. I've begun to spend a lot of time out as a woman and it just feels right for me.
I jut can't imagine having the courage to come out to my co worker. let me say that I have a job working as a civilian with the army and everyone I work with is either in the army or ex army. The thing is, I really like my job and I know they can't outright fire me but I just can't imagine feeling comfortable after coming out.
I'm a private keep to myself kind of person and this pushes me way, way way past my comfort zone.
I really have to say that I really admire those of you who have transitioned on the job.

People keep telling me I'm brave, but the only definition of "brave" I've seen that I think would apply to me is "Someone who is scared sh*tless of what they are going to do, but does it anyway because they can see no alternative"

Others have told you that working as a civilian in the military does not have to be a barrier - I have no experience of this one way or the other.

What I can say is that colleagues who used to see me as a man have totally accepted who I am. Like others, I was worried about how other women would react to seeing me in the Ladies room, but that proved to be totally unfounded - everyone just accepts me for who I am despite my voice and we chat about the same things as any other women.

You know deep down what is right for you, please do not let fear of others prevent you from doing what is right.

[Teri Jean]

I found getting out was much easier than I would have thouht so when I finally decided to transition I felt confident. The day came for Teri to come to work and I sat in the parking lot fifty ft from my office and I wanted to puke. All the world seemed to be spinning and my legs wouldn't move. After fifteen minutes I finally put my mind straight and told myself"you have been all over the world, fought in a war zone twice and survived for this moment, now get your butt out of the truck and go to work". The first couple days were tough but then it got easier as it will for most but it requires backbone not b*lls. I have worked here for 27yrs and been a very public employee with in the union as well as the campus so if I can do this you can also. My work site is 15,000 students and 1200 faculty and staff, there are the days where you get a stare or laugh but then it is their problem and not yours. Wish you all the best.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I once read that being brave was only because one was too scared to run away. Its all about controlling your fear. I am still working on my fear. I hope someday to be able to go to work in a dress and not fear the remarks.