It's Time!

[Lucy_Bella]

This has just hit me, I know it's a long shot but it has to be done. The endless hours I have spent these past six months appeasing Lucy.. It has to stop! Thinking back I have done none of my favorite Men stuff ! (except work and that's my least favorite )..

It is seriously getting out of control, the amount of money I have spent to please her taste for one, should be a good enough reason to slow it down. I have alienated my family and friends , I know I need to find balance .. That's what I am saying..

So , I will stop with the shaving and take all of Lucy's stuff and put it in the attic so it's out of reach. She has got her own closet right now and I frequent it more than my Guy closet..I miss my chest hairs and to be able to go without a shirt with out fear of someone noticeing it's shaved would be a relief.

Looking back , I know I had fun, I did a hell of a lot of first times. Meet some great people as Lucy, but as a straight male I really miss women and no I have never been with another guy don't get me wrong on that quote,.. I am going to go fishing hang out with some old friends and shoot some pool ..Grow my Gote back and act like a total jerk every now and then to welcome back my masculine side.

Yes I know , Lucy ..So why are you posting all of this like none of us never went through any of that .. Well the answer is , this is a support forum and not only for those who enjoy dressing but for those who, at a certain stage in their life, are not ready for the self indulging of their femme side . I have done a complete 180 and I need to stop this in it's tracks.. I am not ready to continue to feed this compulsion
as I feel continuing to grow..

I need to slow it down as I know it will never go away . I have noticed the more I continue to feed it the bigger it gets and now my male counterpart is being left out,
I will keep coming here and I am sure I will continue to dress , I am just going to not make it as easy as it has been.

Some adivice is welcomed if you made it down this far, sorry for the long post.:D

[t-girlxsophie]

At least you are just slowing things down,keeping your Lucy things close by,and not purging,Have fun as a guy,i respect you for what you have decided,I could never do what you are doing but more power to you:)

:hugs:Sophie xx

[Inna]

Go fishin hon, we will be right here waiting on you when you get back. Enjoy all the guy things, and don't bathe and grow the fur all over. Think of it as psychological purging and I am sure you know, you will go shavin sooner or later..............it is the curse of the wicked gender fairy!
Love!

[Rianna Humble]

You have every bit as much right to post here as any other forum member. I am happy for you that you have come up with a plan to restore your equilibrium, and if you enjoy doing the man things then why not take some time to do them? You are right to only put the stuff to one side though, if you found it expensive this time, think how much worse it would be if you had to start again from scratch :eek:

So, thank you for posting, enjoy your man time and please come back to visit whether as Lucy or as your male self, you will always be welcome amongst us.

[Tina B.]

Lucy, have fun! It's football season (American style, that is), go drink beer and kill a few fish, but watch the waist line, don't want to make that girl in you mad.LOL
But next time, maybe a bit of balance so there is room for both sides of you in the same life, jumping back and forth can be frustrating, I know I've been there.
Tina B.

[Lucy_Bella]

Great support ladies, thanks .. I might even drink regular beer drop the lite for awhile...Hehehe

[Karren H]

Looks more like we need to work on balancing things rather than doing one over the other.

[Lucy_Bella]

Looks more like we need to work on balancing things rather than doing one over the other.

Karren, You seem to have found balance in doing just that, what is your secret?

[GaleWarning]

Karren, You seem to have found balance in doing just that, what is your secret?

Self-acceptance?

[Asako]

At least you didn't purge it all Lucy. It'll take you some time to find your balance but you'll know when you find it. =)

[Babeba]

pfft, none of this forum is a contest to see who can be the cross dresser to end all cross dressings. (I think.) Be yourself, my darling. That's the best you ever CAN be.

[Tomara]

Hi Lucy
I have to agree with Karren and Clayfish,
Just try to combine some of the things that Lucy likes with your masculine stuff , you can go fishing and drink beer with Lucy's lingerie under your guy clothes , you can grow a goatee and wear one of Lucy's nighties to bed and you can even find a female partner who will accept you , all of you.
As Clayfish stated self acceptance is key in finding a balance in your life too.
I wish you all the best on your journey.
Tomara

[Lucy_Bella]

Self-acceptance?
That's some good advice , I think I have accepted Lucy too much here latley tho..Now some good balance, would be to find me some hot Philly like Tamara :) , but she is already taken and would rather chew on a coal miners snot rag .. Just kidding Tamara * Super Admin * :)

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Achieving balance in life is very important. It's something I am working towards...and I have a long ways to go. I commend you for keeping your head on straight and maintaining focus.
Good for you Lucy.

[msniki48]

Lucy, Lucy.

Balance is important, just ask Mr Miaggee.... [ sorry about that] i recently did exactly what you are about to do. substituting one for the other only threw me into a funk. My therapist said do what you must, niki will be there when you need her, and you will need her again and again, now that you know she is there. i hope you find your " someplace in the middle' i'm still working on it, but i am a few steps closer.:daydreaming:

hugs

msniki48

Ps: you are right...karren does seem to have it down pat...or is it down karren.:heehee:

[AllieSF]

Go catch a lot of big fish, clean them, scale them and eat them along with a tall cold beer. You will be back when you are ready. Enjoy your male side, Lucy will always be there waiting for you and encouraging to come back for a while and take her out for some fun times. Balance as has been said before is needed. It is not easy to find for some, but it is there somewhere.

[Karren H]

What's wrong with us coal miners?? You can call it self acceptance but I call it prioritizing what's important in life.... Family. Work. Ice hockey.. :) Crossdressing is way down on the list... if there's time for it fine... If not. Fine also... I've incorporated sufficient non-male things into my daily life that allow me to express my femininty when ever I want... And I don't feel the need any more to lean one way or the other....

[sterling12]

And I thought we did a Good Job of talking you into going to That Club. I thought you were on "The Threshold" of bigger and better things for Lucy! Hope that "Episode" didn't push you into This Decision?

But, wait a Minute! Perhaps you are a bit frightened by Your Trip into "The Pink Cloud?" Initial Steps can be frightening, and it often seems like a dive into a freezing pool. Perhaps it is time to "retrench" and evaluate. So.... we will see you in about two weeks up to two years. (Experience has taught all of us that it's almost impossible to stay away from Lucy, and that's about The Usual Timeframe Tolerance.) Quite simply, she is an intrinsic part of you. Denying "self" tends to make us irritable, and crazy.

Anyway, very wise to "Store" your stuff in The Attic. Doing a Purge seems to make things worse, and most people don't do Remorse very well.

Go have fun with The Guys! Personally, I think with time and seasoning you can have Both Worlds. The Trick is to let both Halves of you have their time....it does get better!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[sissystephanie]

What's wrong with us coal miners?? You can call it self acceptance but I call it prioritizing what's important in life.... Family. Work. Ice hockey.. :) Crossdressing is way down on the list... if there's time for it fine... If not. Fine also... I've incorporated sufficient non-male things into my daily life that allow me to express my femininty when ever I want... And I don't feel the need any more to lean one way or the other....

Karren has expressed my thoughts very well, as she usually does!! Prioritizing is very important in everybody's life, and even more so if the person is a CD. And as Karren said, crossdressing should be way down the list. But not left completely out!! I have been crossdressing longer than many here have been alive, and I still do prioritze my life. Try it, because it does work!

[Butterfly Bill]

You don't have to go the whole hog. shaving and taking on a femme name all else that goes into trying to pass, to still enjoy women's clothes.

[AmiFL]

You make being Lucy look so easy, we should all have it so good.... Whether in a skirt or drab pants Lucy will always be there inside you. When I am on this site Ami comes out ever stronger even though I am never really dressed.

[Tara1967]

We're all with you Lucy. Yes take a break from it don't let it control you. Don't ever purge and throw anything away, just put things away and come back to it when you know that you are ready. I know first hand what it can lead to. But I don't want to highjack your thread, so I'll just say you're doing the right thing by just putting things away for a while. You can check out my lasy post on this issue. (love & respect)...................peace......Tara

[PretzelGirl]

Lucy, I am one of what appears the few that feel that there are those that can quit. But the thing is, I don't see the quit mentality in what you are doing. If that is what you are trying to do, then the best of luck to you. You certainly have my support.

But if you are just trying to get balanced, I would be a little careful about going too far to the other side. Think of it like a see-saw with a four year old on one side and an adult on the other. You aren't likely to have much fun because you aren't going to get anywhere. So if this a balance attempt, maybe you shouldn't put Lucy fully away. Catch up on the guy stuff and put a little bit of Lucy in there so she has her time. As you start to fill up on the guy stuff, then Lucy can gradually work her way back into her fair share of your time. Somewhere in there you will find the true balance that you are looking for between those two halves. And don't kid yourself, it is probably a moving target.

And it is definately a good move packing Lucy's stuff instead of throwing it away. Those purging threads helped someone!

:hugs:

[Lucy_Bella]

And it is definately a good move packing Lucy's stuff instead of throwing it away. Those purging threads helped someone!

:hugs: I agree I learned ,after a few purges , not a good thing to do even tho it felt so right at the time.. I havn't put the Lucy stuff away, yet , But I did make it through the night and day without her appearance . I know big deal but I really can't tell how much of a big deal it was for me..
Thanks for the great support everyone, yes it's silly doing this ,but I have my door open and the kids are wondering whats up? I really can't explain why this is so hard for me but I am thinking it has become an addiction..

[jazmine]

hmmm. seems like me but in the opposite way. It's been more than a half a year since Jasmine has been seen, EVEN to herself! I've been so wrapped up in my guyside,specially over the summer. For a couple weeks now, I've been starting to feel girlier and girlier, but haven't stopped my guyside activities enough to give her a couple hours. So yeah, i can understand completely. Things seem to be a cycle for me. Soon Jasmine will be at the wheel again. Then half a year or so later, My guyside will tell her to let him drive for a bit.

[Rianna Humble]

it's silly doing this ,but I have my door open and the kids are wondering whats up? I really can't explain why this is so hard for me but I am thinking it has become an addiction..

What you are doing isn't silly - it is necessary for your balance in life. Your cross-dressing probably seems like an addiction at the moment, because you have given it more time than in the past. Those of us who are transgender (and I include all cross-dressers in my definition of that) actually do have a need to express the feminine part of our nature. The degree to which you do that depends on where in your life you find balance.

It seems at the moment, you feel like the pendulum has swung too far to one side, there is nothing wrong with you trying to bring it back towards the middle.

[Kate Simmons]

The real challenge in all of this is to be yourself and be true to that "self" whoever that may be. It has to be determined mostly by you, however.:)

[Frédérique]

Yes I know , Lucy ..So why are you posting all of this like none of us never went through any of that .. Well the answer is , this is a support forum and not only for those who enjoy dressing but for those who, at a certain stage in their life, are not ready for the self indulging of their femme side . I have done a complete 180 and I need to stop this in it's tracks.. I am not ready to continue to feed this compulsion as I feel continuing to grow..
I need to slow it down as I know it will never go away . I have noticed the more I continue to feed it the bigger it gets and now my male counterpart is being left out,
I will keep coming here and I am sure I will continue to dress , I am just going to not make it as easy as it has been.

I wish I had a nickel for every Tom, Dick and MtF crossdresser who comes along, establishes a presence (not an easy task), keeping us informed of their every CD adventure, then suddenly pulls the rug out from under the fragile relationship they have constructed. By all means be a male if you must – I do that, but I don’t report on it HERE. Put the crossdressing away? Sure, you’re allowed to, but have you ever thought about the impact your words may convey? There are individuals here who consciously turn away from all things “male,” and seek a feminine oasis for themselves. You need to spoon out your restorative feminine medicine in logical doses, and not shoot for the Moon. What’s the hurry, anyway?

Yes, Lucy – why are you posting this? I’m guessing you assume that others will say “Been there, done that,” or “It’s OK...” and you can return to your neglected male life. Why make a female commitment, and then turn away so abruptly? I’ve NEVER done that. You don’t have a male “counterpart,” you are one and the same, male and female, living in the same body. I’m sure that you feel you can push the “female” out of sight and carry on as if nothing has happened, but she will soon return and demand a visible presence that you will have to deal with. You aren’t going to make it as easy as it’s been? Think again – “she” will dictate the terms, my dear...

Yes, Lucy, "it's time" -- time to stick around and cultivate the fields of femininity you planted...:naughty

[Lucy_Bella]

Wish I had a nickel for everytime someone said they wish they had a nickle :)

[Rianna Humble]

By all means be a male if you must – I do that, but I don’t report on it HERE. Put the crossdressing away? Sure, you’re allowed to, but have you ever thought about the impact your words may convey? There are individuals here who consciously turn away from all things “male,” and seek a feminine oasis for themselves.

I couldn't disagree with you more Frédérique. This site is not only here for the positive reinforcement of those of us who "seek a feminine oasis" whatever that may be. It is for all cross-dressers, their families and friends including those who feel as Lucy does that she may need to take a step back.

I am one of those who have consciously turned away from all things male in my life, but it would be selfish in the extreme for me to deny Lucy or anyone else who is feeling the way she does the right to express what she is going through.

If we are genuinely interested in supporting cross-dressers and other related people then that must include supporting them when they fear they may have gone too far.

I too hope that Lucy stays in touch with us, but I believe that she has as much right to find that place where she is at ease with herself as I or you do and if that place is not the same as mine, why should that bother me, you or anyone else?

[Fab Karen]

Hey look, that man has no chest hair, he's OBVIOUSLY he's a crossdresser!


To be a man you have to be a jerk? I guess there are tons of men who aren't really men then.
You might consider therapy to work out your issues.

[Kathryn Martin]

Some advice is welcomed if you made it down this far, sorry for the long post.:D

Our reality, Lucy, is that we are gender diverse. As you say yourself "it will never go away". You find yourself at a point where she has consumed so much of you that he is feeling crowded. What you need is to find a balance in which both she and he find their place. The balance that permits you to say to yourself that you like yourself. And for that you might need some professional help. Doing the yo-yo from male to female to male will only make your sense of self worse, finding a place where both have their rightful place will heal the imbalance and help you find a place of congruence. In this Frederique is right, both she and he is you, one person.

And don't forsake us, we need you too. But in the slow and steady cultivation of your feminine ways, in the walking the middle of the path not playing the extremes lies what you need and what you can give us all.

Be well

Kathryn

[Lucy_Bella]

I figured I would take some flak over this post, thats fine every comment is welcomed good or bad. As for the dressing ? Lasted almost 2 days..lol.. Got some long over due glue in for fake eyelashes and Lucy wanted to see how they looked. :) They looked great !! I think I have realized where my true issue is about me and myself... It's time..Plain and simple.. I had the day off and thats rare for me I have been for the past 7 months working just about every week and weekend 10-12 hours a day then squeezing Lucy in ..
Today had dinner at the kitchen table with the kids :) even did a little much needed handy work all that and Lucy got to come out..

Balance , Not Cding ...Life..