Why?

[Steph.TS]

I'm MTF, and if I put aside religious, family, and society issues I'd become a woman tomorrow if I could... I could go into the reasons for you but , I don't think this is the place. basically in reality religious, family and society issues do exist, and I find myself wanting to see if maybe I could try to simplify my life. I was wondering if you guys could fill me in as to what advantages you see in being a man, why you look forward to being a man, what you hope to get out of it... I'm hoping that 1 of 2 things will come from this, 1. I see some points that give me the desire to stay the man I am and make everyone around me happy, or 2. after seeing all the reasons, I find nothing that inspires me to be male, and I realize I should be a woman.

[GaleWarning]

The answer to your question is, I think, best realised through restating your question.

Is it possible to attain a level of personal acceptance, which will no longer compel me to wish to be either male or female, but simply to be ME?
I have been thinking along these lines for several days now, and am tending to believe that it might well be so.

You talk about trying to simplify your life, and this gives us some clue as to the direction my thinking is moving.
It seems clear from the vast majority of posts on this forum that it is unattainable through our own bodies, because the urge to crossdress (either way) is overwhelming.
It also seems clear that the vast majority of us struggle with our own mindset , which is why so many of us have issues with our SOs.

So I am wondering if the path to self-acceptance might not be a spiritual one (not necessarily in the sense of any formal religion).
I am currently trying to clarify my own thoughts in this regard, and would welcome any feedback.

[Michelle I]

Jen:

I dont think anyone can give you some points on why you should stay a man or stay a woman. I think you have to be happy with who you are, until you find that you will not find happiness.

[Cassi3]

The answer to your question is, I think, best realised through restating your question.

Is it possible to attain a level of personal acceptance, which will no longer compel me to wish to be either male or female, but simply to be ME?



OMG, Clayfish, my counselor asked me those exact words, last week when I was pondering Jen's question. Jen, from what I've read these last few days, a lot of us feel that way.

I'll put this out there and be completely honest: Since I was a child, I have always felt something wrong with me, I knew and felt it in my heart. I say wrong because that, I feel is how society sees it. I don't! I have realized during the past year, that I am happiest when I am me, Cassie. I have in all honesty wanted to be female, I have always felt that I didn't belong in this body. I'm almost certain that being female would simplify my life to the extent that I would not have the inner turmoil and conflict I have of being male trying to be female. Hope this makes sense and that it helps and doesn't confuse you, best advice I can give you is to speak with a counselor, it has helped me a great deal sorting out that very question you ponder!

[Areyan]

I'll put this out there and be completely honest: Since I was a child, I have always felt something wrong with me, I knew and felt it in my heart. I say wrong because that, I feel is how society sees it. I don't! I have realized during the past year, that I am happiest when I am me, Cassie. I have in all honesty wanted to be female, I have always felt that I didn't belong in this body. I'm almost certain that being female would simplify my life to the extent that I would not have the inner turmoil and conflict I have of being male trying to be female. Hope this makes sense and that it helps and doesn't confuse you, best advice I can give you is to speak with a counselor, it has helped me a great deal sorting out that very question you ponder!

my thoughts exactly, in reverse... i felt all my life that being male would have made sense to me and not have caused me the great anxiety it has my entire life trying to be the female body i was born into. i tried to ignore this for years and spent so much time in denial it took an incredible amount of stress in my life to even see it. i believe that i may find some relief from this with outward expression (crossdressing with earnest) in the future. i think you would find FTM cders/ts would feel similar about wanting to express who we feel we are inside a lot more. i would not dare try to convince anyone of their gender though, was merely putting in my 2 cents. :)

[Gerrijerry]

THat is a complecated question in this forum. It really depends if you are a CD or TS. since many CD's dream about being a woman but really do not want to be. What you need to do is figure out what you really want. Others can't answer that for you.
It is hard enough for most to just accept themselves. LIfe is as you say not just about you but does effect others around you that you care for. That also effects what we do with our choices. If you really want and need to be a woman full time then you will need to live as one for at least a year to verify that is what you really want. Think of it as a test to make sure what you think you want is really what you really need to be happy and complete.