My Best Friend

[Sparkles]

My Best Friend
I have to say it was very hard. I never had a problem with him dressing at home or going in the back yard. Then he started asking to go to the store dressed. I told him I didn't care, but I wouldn't go with him..

I can't tell you how many times over the years I have fallen apart, he's purged and then a week or 2 later I would buy him something because it hurt to see him look so miserable.

I have bipolardisorder, every time I go into manic side I want to take him shopping, go out to movies, dinner, bars, etc. But then the depression hits and I ca'nt stop crying everything is Carrie's fault. I was a happily married woman until she showed up!

Once I got myself straightened out I could see that his dressing had nothing to do with what I was going through. I will tell you that when I finally decided I had to either let him be Carrie, or let him go I chose to figure how to live with it. I actually had to grieve the loss of my husband to open my heart to Carrie.

I think probably the most hurtful thing I've ever said to him was "You are not my husband, I want my husband back"
I now know that nomatter how he's dressed Carrie and Frank are both my husband. His love for me does not change with his clothes. He just wants me to be a part of ALL his lives. I love him very much.

[Victoria Anne]

My heqart goes out to you , I just went full time this last 18Th and I see how my wife grieves and it pains me , I hope your pain will soon pass , all my best wishes

[Tracy X Cruz]

Be strong, be open and understanding and keep moving forward. Love is precious and it will see you through.

[AKAMichelle]

It is not her fault about your happiness. Bipolar causes so many different feelings within a very short period of time. That causes you not be in total control of your feelings. I hope that you can get some medicine to help with the swings so you can be yourself more of the time.

[Sparkles]

I feel like I need to clarify. I told my story to help others whose SO is going acceptance issues. Maybe it will give you an insight to how they are feeling. But please don't think I stayed in that place. First of all, I admitted myself to a hospital and got my medication correct. I Participated in outpatient therapy (group). That is where I realized I was blaming every bad time in our marriage (which we all have) on the third person in our marriage. My therapist was very helpful in opening my eyes to the fact that Carrie is the same person she has been throughout our entire marriage. She just chose to let me in on her other side so that she could have acceptance and not have to hide. But what I got out of it was a much closer relationship, love, compassion and marriage. There are three people in our marriage, but we all love each other. Now we've reeached the point that I can tease her and she doesn't get afraid. I can't imagine what her life must have been like growing up. But I can make a difference in the rest of her life. For those of you on the fence, don't be afraid! Frank was an asshole, very controlling, had to make every decision. Thought I was going behind his back if I tried to make a decision or talk to my daughter away from him. I wish I had known he was this way because he was trying so hard to be what he considered to be the man of the house. I love Carrie so much more that Frank. Now when he gets into man mode are starts that bullshit I call him on it! Put that asshole away and bring me back my princess!

[Megan70]

Tell me about it. I'm a bi-polar, have anxiety,suffer from intermitteant explosive disoder. have A/D.D., Seasonal affective disorder and the worst of any infliction a crossdresser on top of it.
BUt you know what? I do very well, staple on medication, no therapy in 12 years, have loving accepting wife, who goes out with "Megan ' and has for 40 years, and am being a productuve working member of society
Carre'( wife) you're a wonderful supportive wife, like mine who intially went through the same grieving and separation loss. But you've learned how to handle it because you both seem to love each other dearly.We as men and as 'women' should learn how to accept our wives for who they are as we expect them to accept us ( words just now from my wife who heard me read both yours and my posts and wanted me to add that. Very appropriate... The Golden Rule
God Bless.

Megan70