Baby steps

[tanyalynn51]

I kind of stunned myself yesterday. I have been only underdressing when I went out, even to my counselor. Then yesterday, I thought I needed to take some kind of step. I have a pink lip gloss that up until now I had only worn around the house, but I put it on before I left the house and got on the bus. I was sure everyone was looking at me the whole time. But, my counselor was the only one who seemed to notice. She said that my adventurous streak was coming out, that it could help me with my transitioning. Well, this morning, I took a bigger step. Usually I dont wear a jacket big enough to conceal a blouse and bra until later in the year, but it was cool this morning, so I put on my lined bra that gives me a 40C bust and a sweater jacket. You could tell something was there, if you really looked, but nobody did. I wasnt out to the store for long- 1/2 hour or so, but it worked to give me some courage to do it again. I guess I need to continue to be careful, but also to experiment, so I can gain some self- confidence too. In other words, baby steps.

[Melissa A.]

Any steps you take are signifigant. It seems like such a long time ago for me, but it really wasn't, relatively. And it takes some work at first to feel comfortable out in the world, no matter who you are. Once I was semi-comfortable, and began to get over whatever it is other's think, durring the year before I came out, and went full-time, I made a personal rule, that any errand-Grocery shopping, post office, even getting gas- if it didn't involve friends or family, and it necessitated walking out the front door, was to be done presenting female, no exceptions, and no matter how unsure(or lazy) I felt. Ironclad rule. I stuck to it, for the most part. There were a few stressful moments here and there. We've all sat in our car, petrified, wondering what the hell it is we were doing, but it was the best training I could do. By the time I went full-time, it was pretty seamless. Walking out the door became nothing more than walking out the door. It will for you, too. Every fear you overcome is important, no matter how you go about it. Best of luck, tanya.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Rianna Humble]

Good for you Tanya. Each of those steps forward took a lot of courage if you are anyhting like I was. Your counsellor is quite right that each of these steps will pave the way for your transition. I like your term "baby steps" because a baby takes those steps on the way to becoming a more complete person.

One of my favourite proverbs is an old Chinese saying "The journey of 1000 miles still begins with the first step", you have taken that step now :hugs:

[tanyalynn51]

Thanks for the encouragement. I do admit, as I went out again this afternoon, that it was a good feeling to make a statement, even to myself, that I wasnt going to be held back anymore. I still wore the jacket over my blouse, but I accidentally left the zipper down a little far, so when I got back from my mailbox, I realized the lacy top of the blouse was showing. I kinda wonder if there was something sub-concious at work there- I am a risk taker, as I said.

[Hope]

Go you!

It always startles me how much I worry about something until I do it, and how almost no one says anything about it, and how short a time period goes by before i have completely forgotten about my sense of worry and whatever it is has completely become a part of my regular repertoire.

Enjoy it, the baby steps are fun.

[Victoria Anne]

Tanya we all started with baby steps , what is important is that you are taking those steps , good for you .

[Cassi3]

Any steps you take that you are comfortable with are fantastic, especially if it makes you feel GREAT! Good for you :D From what I've been reading, a lot of us have done just that, small baby steps, myself included.

[Traci Elizabeth]

No one and I mean NO ONE ever moved forward without starting off with "baby steps!" Welcome to the beginning of your new life and happiness.

[Katesback]

I am not a big fan of baby steps. Why? Well for one transition is arguably one of the hardest things a person could ever take on. Because of the challenge I believe the best approach is to make a decision to transition or not. If one chooses to transition it should be a 100% effort. I cant tell you how many people I have met that have have done nothing over many years and tell me they are transitioning.

Part of the reason I am for 100% is because I believe it is far healthier to get transition over with and go back to life! That is why often you will find girls that go through the process and then disappear. They moved on with life. Sounds pretty healthy to me.

Just my 2 cents.

Katie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

In the end transition is something that you want to make your life better.. there is only one way to transition!!!! YOUR WAY!!!! and your best bet is to figure it out in a way where you have positive affirming experiences..even if the positive part is that nobody laughed at you.....going step by step is basic common sense...

cmon kate. i totally agree that in the end there is huge leap of faith neccessary...,..but taking that leap takes more than a "f*** it" attitude...it takes soul searching and internal understanding so you can deal with the pressures of transition..


being afraid to go out is normal and almost universal..you don't want to start a big process until this fear is overcome and doing it one step at a time seems very sensible.

[Melody Moore]

I am not a big fan of baby steps. Why? Well for one transition is arguably one of the hardest things a person could ever take on. Because of the challenge I believe the best approach is to make a decision to transition or not. If one chooses to transition it should be a 100% effort. I cant tell you how many people I have met that have have done nothing over many years and tell me they are transitioning.

Part of the reason I am for 100% is because I believe it is far healthier to get transition over with and go back to life! That is why often you will find girls that go through the process and then disappear. They moved on with life. Sounds pretty healthy to me.

Just my 2 cents.

Katie
I also agree with you Kate, but then each person needs to go at whatever pace suits them....

When I decided to transition I got dressed and just went full steam ahead. In fact my first meeting with my endrocrinologist was as a very confident well-dressed woman and the feedback I got straight away was 'Im amazed at how advanced you are for someone who is just coming out'. I told her I had been planning & getting ready to transition for the past 2 years and had been researching online how to feminise myself to pass without being noticed. But that didn't really work because I was noticed as soon as I stepped out of my car at the Dolls House (Sexual Health & Gender Clinic) here in Cairns I heard wolf whistles coming from a nearby construction site. Then suddenly I was confronted by one of the workers smiling at me & telling me I had to move my car because they had to turn a truck around. But I could also tell there was plenty of room to turn the truck around, so it was an excuse to get closer to talk to me & have a good perve. I was very flattered and felt good about myself LOL

I then had to go back 2 weeks later to see another endocrinologist who said pretty much the same thing about how advanced I was, she even asked me if I was having electrolysis, but I told her I always looked younger & naturally androgynous. She prescribed my HRT medications and I left after she congratulated me for tethering the tester-one & defeating the male ego. A couple of weeks later I applied to changed my name & I had also been back for one visit to see the Psychologist. Then my name change came back so I contacted them and they wrote out my gender identity certificate straight away. Once I picked it up, it was then straight to the Department of Transport to get my drivers licence changed over to my new name & my sex changed to Female. From there it was then off to Centrelink, then Medicare, then the last stop for the day was my bank. Everything except my birth certificate was changed over to my new identity & gender in one day. They wont change my birth certificate until I've had my SRS.

The reason I wanted everything done quickly was so I can start looking for work as a female. I wanted to transition before starting a new job, rather than trying to transition just after having started a new job - I figured there would be less questions & confusion this way. It's a bit hard for others to be critical & judgemental of you if they have absolutely nothing of my former male self to compare me by. So I agree its much healthier to get everything under-way as soon as possible so life can start to return to normal - So I have absolutely no regrets so far :)

[Rianna Humble]

No one and I mean NO ONE ever moved forward without starting off with "baby steps!" Welcome to the beginning of your new life and happiness.

:yt::iagree:


I am not a big fan of baby steps. Why? Well for one transition is arguably one of the hardest things a person could ever take on. Because of the challenge I believe the best approach is to make a decision to transition or not. If one chooses to transition it should be a 100% effort.

It's an interesting point of view, so does that mean you went from never having presented as a female to living 24/7 as one with absolutely nothing in between? You never even went out dressed one single time before transitioning?

Or did you actually take a few steps first such as trying a dress on at home, or going to the shops dressed?

Perhaps you are one of the few people who never experiences fear of consequences? If you are, then that's good for you, but it doesn't work like that for everybody.


I also agree with you Kate, but then each person needs to go at whatever pace suits them....

I would agree with Kate about the need to be 100% sure of the decision and go for it, but not about never taking baby steps before that decision.

OTOH, I agree with you that each person needs to go at the pace that is right for them. It's not "my way or no way", IMNSHO it's "Your way is the right way for you".


When I decided to transition I got dressed and just went full steam ahead.

That is similar to how I did it, but not everyone can do that without preparation, I know I didn't.

[Melody Moore]

That is similar to how I did it, but not everyone can do that without preparation, I know I didn't.
I prepared myself by buying clothes from thrift shops & make-up from ebay... Also searching for make up & feminisation tips online, studying female behaviour & deportment while also dressing up at home & taking photos & posting them on person.com to see what the reaction I got was like... about 99.9% of guys seen be as a female and that gave me lots of confidence before I ever stepped foot outside my door. When I did there was no stopping me and I dont have one single regret.

[sfwarbonnet]

I've found the further you go the further you want to go. I am now comfortable wearing panties, nylons, and a slip full time. Next is a bra; just hope I don't forget to take it off before my wife comes home... It was a big step for me. but I went out to get the mail wearing a filled B cup bra and a tee - my breasts must have been apparent, but nobody seemed to notice or care!