Being TS and responsibilities

[Teri Jean]

This last couple years has been a whirlwind of activity and self discovery and as of the 5th of this month I have lived and transitioned on the job for a year. Where did all the time go. :daydreaming: When this academic year started I was asked to help with a class as a guest speaker representing TG comunity. That was a first step and now in a stroke of luck or good fortune a student came up to me and asked if I would talk to his cousin about transitioning.

Last night after talking long distance for an hour and half I think she understands what she needs to do first and take each step slowly. The big thing was the difference in cultures as she is Mong and I am not familiar with their beliefs. The point I experianced after we said our good byes was a year ago or so I had those same type of questions and do to a sister here I was pointed in the right direction and now it is my turn to help someone else.

So as we go through our daily lives keep an eye and ear open to someone else you may be able to help even if it is just a call. Hugs Teri

[Gerrijerry]

you are the wonderful example of what we should all do. Help others.

[Daenna Paz]

The big thing was the difference in cultures as she is Mong and I am not familiar with their beliefs.

First, let me offer my congratulations ...

The (H)mong culture is clan-based, and quite patriarchal (at least the families I observed overseas) ... women were regarded to be several steps below the men.
A major leap to transition in such an environment; glad you are there to help ... ;^)

[Melody Moore]

Well done Teri Jean and its always good to see you doing what you can to help others like ourselves.

Just today I feel like I have helped a number of transsexuals... when I woke up this morning I went on person.com to check my messages and had a message from a guy who's profile said he was bisexual, I replied to him and then a conversation followed, as we talked he told me about his crossdressing since he was a child. He also told me about how he always felt more like a female than a male. He has a very supportive girlfriend who seems to be very accepting of his femininity & cross-dressing. He was also envious of the fact that I was on hormones, so then I asked him the question... 'Do you sometimes wonder if youre a transsexual?' his reply was 'All of the time'. So I gave him some information about transitioning & about who he could go and see if he want to explore his gender issues further. I also advised him to sign up here which I believe he was doing. So I feel I have pointed this lost soul in the right direction to getting help.

Also Im a member of ATSN, the Yahoo group for the Australian Transsexual Support Network and a trans-female there was going through a crisis with her neighbours who have been vilifying her over the past couple of days which has left her without confidence and feeling very shattered. We got in touch with each other through ATSN so I called her up and we talked, I also gave her legal information to help her deal with the matter. Since then she has contacted police and found a very helpful policeman who has given her a lot more information & some proper support to help her deal with her very hateful neighbour. She called me back his afternoon and talked for well over an hour & I have not long got off the phone with her. Her confidence is restored & she is more ready than ever to deal with her problematic neighbour.

I personally dont feel like I can do enough to help our sisters who are struggling & going through major issues & I dont mind doing what I can to help, because I know there are those who have really been their for me. I think its important to give back to the transgender community more than you take from it. Because by rallying our support to help our sisters it also makes ourselves so much stronger and ready to cope with the next hurdle we might face.

[Teri Jean]

Melody, it feels good t help others and we don't do it for attention but I was helped so it just feels right to help others. Congrats and wish you the best. Teri

[Faith_G]

I too feel a responsibility to help others as I was helped. Just paying it forward. :)

[Melody Moore]

Melody, it feels good t help others and we don't do it for attention but I was helped so it just feels right to help others. Congrats and wish you the best. Teri
So true Teri, I know Im indebted to a few girls who helped me in the beginning - my only gratitude comes from just knowing Ive done something positive to help someone & that Im really doing something productive with my life. If I didnt occupy myself in such a positive & giving way, then it wouldnt take long and I would slip back in to the dark abyss of depression. Getting involved in counselling others w are going through difficult times has been a coping for about 14 years now - 16 years ago after my only brother was killed in an unsolved murder was at my lowest point in my life, but I had over 2 years of cognitive psycho-therapy in the wake of that to learn new methods & adopt a different approach to dealing with some of life's most difficult issues & situations. Im on a few transgender/transsexual support networks now & I learn so much from that everyday, its really enriched my own life & emotoinonal intelligence, because no matter how bad your situation is, there is someone out there much worse off that you. My friends are telling me to either study Law or Psychology, so I am thinking about going to uni next year to do the Psychology because Law is just too stressful for me I think.

[Rianna Humble]

Well done Teri Jean and its always good to see you doing what you can to help others like ourselves.

Just today I feel like I have helped a number of transsexuals....


Melody, it feels good t help others and we don't do it for attention but I was helped so it just feels right to help others. Congrats and wish you the best. Teri


I too feel a responsibility to help others as I was helped. Just paying it forward. :)

I agree with all three of you that helping others just seems right and we don't do it for publicity. I was particularly helped by someone who doesn't post so much here lately and we have become good friends albeit separated by thousands of miles.

I feel a great sense of responsibility knowing that allowing my story to be put in the papers has encouraged a number of other people to make progress towards their own transition. I have befriended one of them in particular and am just happy to be there for her. I recently mentioned on fb that I was pruning my friend list, but was able to reassure her that she would not fall by the wayside.

[Jorja]

Not long after I joined this community , I posted a thread named Pay it Back or Pay it Forward. Here is a copy of that post.

Pay it back or Pay it forward
This being a transgendered forum, I know there are some of you here that have completely transitioned. There are many here at various stages of transition also. I also know there are many just starting your journey. I have a question. Do any of you do anything or do you have plans to pay back or pay forward the Transgendered Community?

For several years I wanted to do something do repay those who helped me along the way but I didn’t know how or what to do. I didn’t just want to send some money to GLBT and have the money spent on office supplies. I wanted to do something good for someone.

Some of you may know from earlier post, I own and operate a construction business. One day a TG friend of mine asked if I had any job openings. She had lost her job because she wanted to transition on the job. Of course, that is not the reason given why she was fired. I hired her. A few months later she had proven to be a huge asset to my business. I went to the unemployment office and put in a request for all TG/TS/TV/CD/Gay/Bi/ people they had. I went to every club, bar, support group etc…. I could find and let them know I was hiring. It wasn’t long before I had more applicants than I knew what to do with. I hired as many as I could. As time has moved forward, I now maintain 30 full time employees and hire the rest as I need them. All but two of my current employees are in one stage or another of transition. The two are gay and have no desire to transition. One thing lead to another and we discovered some of the girls couldn’t cook for themselves. Others had no idea how to do laundry. Many did not know how to apply makeup and the list went on. I decided to have cooking school one night, laundry night, makeup 101, and many other classes to help the girls. Over the past few years we have had a ball learning together. A few of the girls were high school dropouts. All have their GED and are in or have been to college.

One of the sad things about being different is others don’t always like it. We have a few young TG/TS whose parents have kicked them out of the house. I went to court and made the arrangements to provide for these girls. I am pleased to report that 3 of them will be graduating high school with honors in a couple of weeks and will be attending college in the fall.

So, I think I have found my way to pay it back or pay it forward which ever it is. When your time comes, I hope you will find a way to make difference.