If you want to stay sane don't go out

[Inna]

I just came back from a quick food shopping and a snack stop. I have a serious problem living in this area, cause Ladies here are seriously gorgeous. So feeling pretty good about my self I went into the grocery store and there had to be at least three super gorgeous, fit, slim, tall, sexy, delicious, long legs, measurements by design, did I mention gorgeous, ladies. In order for me to fit those measurements even when I would strip to the bone, the bone would be too thick. Oh well so I went to the Panera Bread an italian style sandwich shop for those not familiar, and as a curse following me there, there were another 5 or 6 of those gorgeous creatures sipping on coffees and soups. Man I want to feel like a woman, but Shania eat your heart out! Right now I feel like a bloke next to those lovely creatures I encountered today, Oh boy, I do feel supersized!

[7sisters]

Oh please, young girls look at each other all the time and are in weight loosing competitions all the time. Dont do that!

[Karren H]

Move to West Virginia!!! You'd be a queen!! More of a queen... Especially if you have a full set of teeth. And if by chance you might have your own 4wd truck!!! They might even overlook the fact that your not a real woman!! :D

[DonniDarkness]

Perspective.

im not going to pretend to know much about being out and about....But from what you have shared with us here through pictures, videos and blogs it would be safe to assume there are those who would be envious of you in the same ways you feel about your local peers.

And im also not going to pretend i have some insight to the female psyche, but from what i have learned from sharing with the women in my life; that those women may have seen something about you that made them envious, i personally feel like that is probably very close to the truth.

So Cheer up already your beautiful Miss Alexia

-Donni-

[KateSpade83]

Yeah everytime I see a beautiful woman I wish I was them. But I have gone out in drag many times and on a few occasions pretty women told me I was pretty or they said a fellow girly "Hi" to me!

[Inna]

MissDonni Perspective.
But from what you have shared with us here through pictures, videos and blogs it would be safe to assume there are those who would be envious of you in the same ways you feel about your local peers.OK, I can see that I have created the monster! I wanted to put my best foot forth and so I chose those best out of 1000's pisc to feel good about my self. But now the monster is ALIVE, she is "ALIVE" just like a bride of a Frankenstein! Oh well, so let it be, I will live here at least as that creature from my dreams, I must say it does make me feel better. Reality is overrated!

[TxKimberly]

I am right there with you. I think that very few of us can hold a candle to a reasonably fit woman that is making an effort. There are a few of us that might give them a run for their money, but VERY few.

[Christinedreamer]

Easy on West Virginia Karen. My mom's family is from WVA, have all their teeth and did quite well.

[Inna]

I am right there with you. I think that very few of us can hold a candle to a reasonably fit woman that is making an effort. There are a few of us that might give them a run for their money, but VERY few.

There are a few and here is one of those few:
http://lh6.ggpht.com/_vp1mtaeGfoY/TK_JQ6Wz0AI/AAAAAAAAAsk/gJ8txIp4z8c/BabianaFernandez.jpg

[TxKimberly]

There are a few and here is one of those few:
http://lh6.ggpht.com/_vp1mtaeGfoY/TK_JQ6Wz0AI/AAAAAAAAAsk/gJ8txIp4z8c/BabianaFernandez.jpg

Well sure silly, but there are also super models out there that probably give your average woman just about the same inferiority complex that we have when comparing ourselves to them. Still, your choices are clear - do what you can with what you have and try to be happy with it, or throw up your hands in despair because you can't compete with Raquel Welch. It sounds like good advice, but don't let me fool you - I've had the exact same feelings you just described . . .

[Inna]

I do understand, but I feel I have been cheated out of youth and beauty I could have expressed and lived. It is hard to forgive your self for not acting on ever present emotions, and to let life steal the best of youth away. I hear you though, and in time I will come to terms with this.................I hope!
By the way the girl in the pic transitioned in her twenties :-0

[Cassi3]

Alexia, IMHO, I think you're selling yourself short. First, I've seen your photos, you look beautiful. Two, I lived in Orlando for many years, I understand what you mean about the women there being gorgeous, but there are gorgeous women everywhere, but again, you're just as beautiful as they are.

[t-girlxsophie]

vanity is alive and well amongst crossdressers:heehee:

[Inna]

What would we do without vanity, I would probably join the monastery! Oh, those drab robes.

[yazooey]

c'mon girl, are you serious? You are gorgeous! Well, speaking of perspective I sometimes see a male and think, "hhhmm, he's a good looking guy. I wish I was wearing a suit and tie like that. Sometimes, that is. Not all the time but it does happen. LOL. We all strive to better ourselves and tend to compete with others around us. Okay, maybe it's just me. Sorry to include you all in my generalization.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Yeah, I have found that what is a plus for my male life is a minus for Tash.

I am 6 ft 2 and am very athletic....great as a guy, but as Tash I feel like Chewbacca amongst any number of Princess Leia's. Seriously though Alexia, if that is you in your avi, you are being a tad harsh on yourself......you are very presentable girl. :)

[docrobbysherry]

For what looks and figure u DO HAVE!:thumbsup: I certainly am!

Yes, it's NOT EASY to feel that way looking at some real fem beauties! I KNOW!
I was at "back to school" nite at my daughter's hi-school Monday nite. I expected a lot of sloppy looking women!:brolleyes:

BOY! Was I in for a surprise!:eek: Shapely, attractive women EVERYWHERE! And, they're in the 40's+, too! Plus, our weather got cool QUICKLY! So, many were dressed fashionably, too!:daydreaming:

MANY of us feel cheated by missing the chance to be young hotties. :sad:
However, I won't let my advanced age stop me from enjoying that experience. Even if I have to CHEAT a LOT!:heehee:

[sterling12]

They probably work for The Mouse, or they are Strippers, or they Cheerlead for The Majic.

Not logical to compare them to The rest of The Locals. I could find you a lot of women hanging out down at The Bell's Outlet who wear Polypants and Shapeless Tops. There's nothing wrong with that, but you could just as easily have compared yourself to them! Now....don't you feel better?

Peace and Love, Joanie

PS. Haven't been over there in a while, but I understand The Parliament House is in Receivership. If you really want to feel bad, compare yourself to The Impersonators in Their Drag Show. Those Gals would make all of us look like Doggies!

[7sisters]

Three cheers for you Doc for your spirit!

[AKAMichelle]

We all feel that way. We will never measure up but we can always enjoy the journey of trying. :D

[kitchenette]

Your desire for even more beauty is human. I'm a GG, I'm tall and thinnish. I think I'm beautiful but always wish for things I don't have... As others have pointed out, you are gorgeous! Life isn't a beauty pageant (Thank GOD!) and beauty does begin on the INSIDE. Beauty is love and kindness too. And that means love and kindness to yourself. I try to think about this when I get dressed every day.

But all of this reminds me of a story... A very wealthy man I knew slightly once told me " I'm the wealthiest man on earth." I blinked, smiled and said "SURE you are!" He said, "No, I believe I am the wealthiest. Because I have ENOUGH. I don;t need more. What more could I ask for?"

This is something we could all consider in our own lives. When will we stop an insatiable quest to be ever more rich, beautiful, etc? It's really wonderful when you can get to a place inside yourself when you say, "I'm happy with what I have." I think I am beginning to approach that place. It took 40 years, but at least I am there now. Or, nowISH.
XO

[Maxine_b]

Don't know if they had a sale on supermodels where you live, but i think you look pretty hot yourself. If you try an compare yourself to others you always find someone somewhere that looks better than you do. My advice...do your best to look your best and keep it moving. besides you can scope the girls out en femm and then go back in drab and ask for their phone numbers later...LoL.

[kristinacd55]

Alexia, there's alway gonna be someone uglier and someone who's prettier. I kind of equate it to running races. I'd see the front people zoooooming by and think HMMM I AM SOOOO SLOW! But then turn around and there's a whole gaggle of folks running behind me! You look pretty pretty to me btw..... :)

[Nicole Erin]

When trying to compare onesself with GG's or other TG's, you cannot really do that cause you know not the advantages they may have or had. They say you have to overcome your setbacks but that can only go so far. Age and genetics are just two things you cannot battle.
I have learned a lot in the past year about being TG, probably more than I had in 10 years prior.
Right now I am in a position where I can live as I want, as Erin, I realise some do not have that, not without ruining eveything else in their life.
However, as hard as I try to look MY best, I will never give a GG any competition, it sucks, I barely pass on my best days.

Now look at GG's - of course their genetics are in place and have been since the sperm met the egg.
With the truely passable TG's - most of them started really young and probably had financial support to do all those transition things, PLUS they probably were not heavily masculine to begin with.
Comes down to freedom, genetics, and finances. I have the freedom but not the genetics or finances.

It is disheartening when you see some TS who passes with little or no problems, I will admit.
However, we just cannot compare with GG's.

You think WE have it bad when we see beautiful GG's, imagine how the non-beautiful GG's (by society standard) feel? Imagine the level of hurt they feel when they see a size 4 and know that can never be them.

Look, with everything, you just have to make the best of what you have.

We DO have one big advantage though - if a TG is even semi-pretty and looks her best, GG's appreciate that. They may not envy but on the other hand, we are not subject to their jealousy and hatred that they reserve for their best looking sisters.

What kind of a life would it be to be ultra-beautiful just to have people jealous and not like you? Why do you think so many picture-perfect looking GG's seem nervous or shy?

[Inna]

Ladies, words of wisdom you do speak once again. I feel so much better and loved. I shouted out loud, cause my frustration got better of me. I guess I had a serious PMS episode, Estrogen here I come :-) But all in all what this proves to me that even though I probably will repeat my PMSing every so often I do have a family of loving girls who will carry me through the worst of times. I cherish your friendship and hope I can be a rock for you as well, love!

[Alice Torn]

Move to Rockford Illinois, where you and I could stand out as beauty queens here!

[Inna]

WOW Louise, I was just at your door step months ago where my moment of truth happened. Flied in from Florida cause it was cheaper to Rockford than Chicago and my sys lives in northern IL. To think I was so close yet so far away. Next time I'll give you heads up. For sure will do beauty queens run for their money or at least a slow stroll.

[Feather]

What happened to not comparing yourself to others :doh:

[tamarav]

Sanity is a relative thing anyway, so don't get too wound up over this issue. GGs deal with this same situation daily and seem to be much better at it than we will ever be. It is similar to pulling up next to a street rod and realizing that your motor cannot compare to the power the other guy has, so you idle off the line and watch him go.

GGs (and obviously us CDs) have our own pecking order list that we all go through all the time. We place ouyrselves in comparison to some other person and "rate" our acceptability or whatever compared to the "perfect" one. None of us ever seem to win simply because we are not secure with ourselves. Merely accept that there are others who will always look good, in your eyes, but to them they still do not look perfectly acceptable.

I have stunning women come into the salon asking for help to look "better". I have openly laughed at some as they make most any woman simply cringe at their overt beauty. We all want to look better, male or female. Or is it simply we all want to be accepted?

[Inna]

Tamara you said it. Acceptance is behind all our attempts at beauty. I suppose vanity is beauty for the sake of beauty, narcissism is egocentric need for beauty, what I am after is to be accepted as who I feel I am within. Our pursuit of girl looks is just that, to become one with body and soul. Being good looking in the process isn't as important than looking good, looking as natural woman. After all, if I didn't have such a need, I would just remain a guy and just feel feminine within, that would be sufficient. The lack of acknowledgment for being feminine drives this need to transition. It is rather amazing that after half live lived I am still childish and vain and engage in this endeavor, trip of a lifetime through calm and stormy waters.

[Alice Torn]

Tamarav has it right. Comparing ourselves to others, ALWAYS leaves us feeling short changed. As guys, too. All my life, i have lost loves to "the other guy". It has taken me 56 years, to learn to be content, yet bettering myself. I am not quite there yet, but getting there, I hope. I can understand the jealousy toward lovely GG's, though. It is no longer a mans' world. Physically beautiful gg's are valued far more than unattractive gg's, and guys, too. But, contentment, acceptance, and serenity, along with always improving ourselves is the goal.

[JohnH]

I who identify myself as simply a natal male who likes to wear skirts and dresses probably am the only person in the cul-de-sac who wears dresses on a regular basis (several times a week). When it was warm I wore skirts (never pants or shorts) on my early morning walks, and I have never seen any other adult wearing a skirt. In fact, sometimes I went for my walk wearing a dress. I even walked with one of the men in my church with my skirt and there were no issues.