(FTMs ONLY please) - FTMs and the lesbian community...

[Areyan]

hi all,

i'm posting this question for the FTMs to answer - MTFs please no replies here as i'm directing this question to the guys who have considered themselves part of the lesbian community before coming out (either pre or post-transition) or even after coming out.

FTMs who like women - how do you feel about identifying with the lesbian community, do you still do so and if you don't identify at all, what are your thoughts on dating either cis/transwomen?

for me, i'm still figuring this out as, before i even realised my true gender was more masculine i was of the belief that i must be a lesbian because of my attraction to females. i see having a gf as a real future possibility for me. i can't say for sure i'm a straight guy because i can be attracted to all types of people, including transfolks and i haven't decided on one path yet, based on my past experiences and my changing feelings.. however, some lesbian encounters i've had actually solidified my identity and made me feel separate from them even though i am still attracted to them...

i have joined a few lesbian sites/forums online but when i interact with the ladies there now i feel a bit like a fox in the hen-house, if you know what i mean... lol. anyone else experience this kind of thing?

being newly out to myself makes disclosure a need-to-know basis at present. and i'm not actually looking for a gf yet, but have become part of the lesbian community online due to seeking answers for my identity.

[mistunderstood]

When I came out I considered my-self a lesbian. Then when I realized I was a CD"er I realized I was TS. When I realized that I was TS I came to realized I was bi-sexual. It come in stages I guess for me. The more questions I asked my-self the more I realized that I was mixing gender and sexual identity up. I still do for that matter. I have to go with what feels right and forget the labels. Labels are for soup and I'm not soup. So I just let what needs to happen to happen.

[Areyan]

hey, thanks for your reply... i wondered if i was going through a progression of realisations with this because i too had this issue with my sexuality/gender crossing paths after coming out as a lesbian. although lesbianism felt right eventually it didn't feel true thanks to my body dysphoria.

lol, i even see myself looking at sexuality again and wondering if i'm not pansexual after all... but you are right. labels are for the most part unnecessary. nice to see someone else's perspective on this.

[AnonyMouse]

I am soup. I have a lot of ingredients that go together to make me who I am, and you really can't separate them because they've all cooked together (and besides, you'd make a huge mess). I'm like Hearty Beef and Chicken. Or something like that.

I was never hugely into girls, so I never considered myself a lesbian. The closest I can come on this subject is to share my confusion when I was about fifteen, wondering why the heck I wasn't (more) into the wimminz. I was so butch (on the inside, mainly) it just seemed weird to prefer dudes.

[Felix]

Hi Peeps well for me I did come out as Lesbian initially and lived for several years in the Lesbian community and was in a long term relationship with a genetic female who is lesbian. I was heavily in denial so this was ideal for me. Ofcourse she was very perceptive and after a few years she began to question my masculinity and eventually she confronted me with what I had been denying for years, the fact that I was really hiding from who I really was. I initially denied it but it wasn't long before this amongst other things broke our relationship up as after all I was a man and she was a lesbian. I re istablished myself as Felix on the LGBT scene once I had come out to my Doctor as Trans. I had already previous told this told a few really close friends in 2007. Over all the gay community was very accepting and I had very few problems. Everyone took me on board as Felix within the community and accepted me as a trans man.

As for where I stood in terms of sexuality well at the end of the day I had to accept that I was a hetrosexual man but the journey to acceptance was a mixed bag of never ending questions until I couldn't deny who I was in terms of both gender and sexuality.... A Hetrosexual Man.

I don't think ya should ever close down ya options this whole thing is a journey of self discovery which will blow ya mind apart most probably, it has mine and I'm still learning because life is just one big learning curve from begining to end :) xx Felix :)