a fight in the house with the wife about up comming wedding

[Gerrijerry]

I have been dressing full time now for a few months 24/7. My wife wanted this because she hated the lying and hiding etc. Also several other reasons including pratice for later. All my male clothing is gone so this would be a one time thing. We are retiring as soon as our house sells and when we move to our new home I will be living as a woman there forever. Now for the problem.
Next month there is a very large family wedding that we must attend. Most of my family know about me. Some don't care some accept some don't talk to me now. The Groom is my brothers son. My brother has no problem with me. The bride and groom knows me and has seen me. I told my wife that I should rent a male tux for the wedding because I didn't think it would be proper for me to show up in a formal gown. It is a formal wedding. My wife said there is no way I will go dressed as a male. Because in male clothes I look way to feminine now. My wife called the bride and groom and talked to them with out me knowing and was told that they agreed that I should dress in a gown but did say that her family didn't know. They did not intend to say anything. To be honest I find this harder to go to dressed feminine then when I came out at work, which turned out to be no big deal. I really don't know why this is so hard for me it just seems like it is to me.
So I am really asking should I purchase a gown or rent a tux for the wedding.

[GaleWarning]

Whatever will make you feel more comfortable!

[kayegirl]

Your brother knows and accepts, the bride and groom know and accept, your wife knows and more than accepts... Get the gown, but be careful not to outshine the bride.

[Marcia Blue]

I would give anything to be in your shoes.

I understand your thoughts, I am not sure why your wife is so insistent on you wearing a gown. Would you like to wear the gown if no one cared? Or are you just worried about those that do not accept you?

You stated the bride and groom are OK with you at the wedding dressed. Unless the non-approving family members are going to make a ruckus about it, I would go find a gown.

[Alaceann]

How many chances are you ever going to get out in a georgius gown and do some dancing? Just get a beutiful gown and enjoy it you lucky girl..

[TerryTerri]

My opinion is do to as the bride and groom wish. It is their day and if I were you I would not wish any of my actions to deter from that. So, I'd get ahold of them (although your wife says that is their desire, I'd confirm it for my own peace of mind) and abide by their desire.

[Melody Moore]

My opinion is do to as the bride and groom wish. It is their day and if I were you I would not wish any of my actions to deter from that. So, I'd get ahold of them (although your wife says that is their desire, I'd confirm it for my own peace of mind) and abide by their desire.

I would bear what Terry says here strongly in mind..... as well as I have to ask you are you a male or female now? If you have
overcome so many other difficult hurdles then why is this any different? - I would go to that wedding simply as my true self.

[Inna]

Funny how life tosses bricks under our feet no matter who and how we are :-) I do feel your indecisiveness though, depending on your passability outcome could be aether way. I know for me at this stage of transition I would go as male only because I look more natural in male mode than female and would cause no unnecessary interest. I would feel that stealing the spot light from bride and groom, for whatever reason would be inappropriate. But if I look 100% passable there would be no reason not to be there as me. Aether way I respect you for this inquiry, many of us would have jumped on this opportunity to be ourselves but to sacrifice a bit of your self for the right reason, especially with your wife 100% supporting real you, is grand. Love, Alexia

[SherriePall]

If the bride and groom have no problems with your dressing, then buy a gown (maybe something simple and not too over-the-top). You can't take anything away from the wedding if you are dressed conservatively and if most people there don't make a fuss over you. Plus, I take it that the bride's side knows nothing about you and, if it's like most weddings I have been to, her side and the groom's side will, for the most part, keep to themselves.
That said and you go dressed, have fun.

[MaryAnn40c]

You could always purchase a nice ladies suit.

[Fab Karen]

If you intend to live 24/7 then you shouldn't try to pass at the wedding as a guy. It's been discussed, they are ok with it, so that's that.

[Melody Moore]

Even if they did have issues with you going as a woman I wouldn't go if they didn't accept me as being my true self,
but in this case you have their full support & this is why I am so puzzled about why you are having such an issue about it.

[Gerrijerry]

thank you all for you advise. I went to the doctor yesterday and found out that my HRT was off and was giving me problems. Everything was adjusted correctly again based on the new blood tests and this morning I am starting to feel much better. The doctor asked to look at the last perscription that was filled. He says that they gave me a different drug and that my body did not accept well to the generic version. I never thought to ask since the pills looked about the same. Really also my fault I should have looked at the perscription label. I didn't even think about the fact that I was way to emotional about everything. I was crying, upset, and totally confused. I think if some one would have said up I would have said down. I love being and living as a woman and never wish to go back to where I was. My wife supported me through all this and I told her how sorry I was that it happened. All I can think of now is saying sorry for even bring it up here on the forum. After more then a year on HRT this is the first time that has ever happened. Of course I will be wearing a gown to the wedding and nothing over the top. Also everyone on HRT please read the labels and examin the pills better then I did. Again sorry.

[Amandha]

compromise...
keep in mind is their wedding/their time--and they respect you for who you are---so i say dress androgynous--neither male or female.....
wish you well
Amandha

[Pattie O]

Have fun and go dressed in a gown and avoid upstaging the wedding party.