Seeking clarity in determining the root cause or defining the unconscious.

[LitaKelley]

When I am fully dressed, I feel happier... but WHY.

Others have also asked me, WHY, and all I can come up with is "I just am"

I have also often thought when dressed that I feel better, but WHY.

I suppose and acknowledge that there are underlying conditions and reasons for WHY being dressed makes me feel better and happier, but have yet to figure it out.

Of course I love the clothing, the look, the feel of the clothing and everything else with CDing... but the emotional and psychological FEELINGS are something akin to an euphoric high, or perhaps even enlightenment and I find my self unable to understand the root cause behind the various feelings and emotions.

Unlike many, I did not have any life long or long term gender identity issues and have always identified my self as male, yet here I am now, a crossdresser and in recent weeks have wondered about and considered and hoped for transitioning to presenting as female 24/7, but WHY and more specifically... WHY NOW after all these years do I wish to be female instead of the person I always was before.

Granted I did wear makeup for a few years when I was younger, and did wear girls clothing in secret, alone at home on many occasions when I was younger, but then it stopped, but I did continue wearing panties the last 20yrs, and also worn lingerie and hose several times over the years, but until fully crossdressing and creating the illusion and outer appearance of my self as a female, the thought of being, or the desire to be a woman has never existed, at least not consciously.. so why now do I have these urges and desires.

Is it possible that the mere act of dressing and seeing ones own created illusion can bring out latent, unconscious or repressed transgendered feelings and thoughts?

I'm trying to wrap my head around all these things and it's becoming rather difficult answering questions from friends and family when they ask me WHY do I feel better and WHY do I feel happier... I just do and I don't know why.

[charlie]

Hello Lita!
How well written and concise can you get? I could have written your post. I too went many years without wearing complete outfits, wigs, makeup and heels. Then 2 years ago (I'm 60!) I went full bore. Now I dress and go out on the town as a woman! WHY? Why I am I not content to go out as the man I always have been? Why does dressing feel so good? I have no answers either, but do understand your post completely!

[Lucy_Bella]

Ewwww.,

I went through that recently, I am a true believer that when dressing or feeding the urge it does grow.. I tired to take a break starting last week with no quick results.Finally after all most a week the desires and urges slowed down.. It;s way to easy to drown yourself enfemme, very hard to come back. or it was for me.

If you think you are pregression too fast maybe take a break..

[LitaKelley]

If you think you are pregression too fast maybe take a break..

I tried taking breaks, but can never get past the 2nd day as I start feeling depressed, get moody and agitated, etc.. Even my wife has noticed this and once said "bring Lita out.. you're driving me crazy"

I've been dressed the last 3 days straight, minus about 3 hours, and my wife said it's as if I'm a completely different person because I'm calmer, more relaxed, very much nicer and more pleasant and definitely not moody and agitated which was something common for me before crossdressing. The past few days has been a wonderful experience for me, because now my wife is fully supportive of me going 24/7. :)

[Aprilrain]

I keep having to remind myself that WHY is an unanswerable question. HOW is far more practical. My wife thinks it is possibly an addiction. I am somewhat were your at right now. I to have had a strong desire to go full time and take hormones. My experience so far has been that when I try not to acknowledge CDing I may go awhile with out thinking about it but then it explodes back on the scene. Anyway if we are all transgendered to some degree than there is a feminine part of us that may have been long suffering and patient in the past but now she wants to come out. I do think living full time or transitioning to what ever degree is serious business though and needs to be discussed with a qualified therapist

[Satrana]

WHY NOW after all these years do I wish to be female instead of the person I always was before.


Well that is the easy part to explain. Humans seek out things which give us pleasure. The high CDs get from dressing is addictive and the desire to perfect the female image becomes an obsession. The more we do something, the more accustomed and normal it becomes to us which then makes us wish to engage in it even more since we no longer appreciate the social barriers that inhibited our behavior before.

Remember this - gender is an artificial social construct. Changing your gender should not be any different from changing your occupation. So you started off as a plumber but you got into cars in a big way and it took over your life and now you are a professional racing driver. Your occupation defines you as much as your gender does but no-one would ever question your desire to change jobs.

You do not need to be born transgendered to end up wanting to live 24/7 as a woman. You can reach this decision all by yourself through your pursuit of happiness. It only seems a weird idea because we all have incorrectly assumed that gender is naturally linked to the genetic sex but this is wrong. However CDs are one of the few groups of people who are in a position to understand this and take advantage of it even though it goes against everything we have been taught.

[Jorja]

The simple answer...... What is.....just is......and nothing more.

However, I do like Satrana's answer better.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno, I think sometimes we tend to over think the whole thing. My rule of thumb is to enjoy being yourself, whoever that happens to be.:)

[Byanca]

I would think it's PTSD that is finally letting go of it's evil grip.

[janice murray]

I can't offer any explanation.
I just love dressing as and being accepted as a woman.
It feels right.
I've always felt like this, and I know I always will.

[Maria in heels]

Lita...I think that it is because the "Lita" side of you is out, which floods your system with endorphins, and you feel happy and content. I too get this feeling, and realized this a few years ago...my wife will even "hint" at times if I don't dress for a few days..guess she sees it too!

[Mary Morgan]

Crossdressing somehow nourishes you/us just as food and shelter does. When we are in our comfort zone, we feel better, we are better, we are complete.

[Steph.TS]

I'm wearing a nightshirt, and panties, and I feel great, when I put n a dress, I feel more like a woman, and to me that feels so much more right then me fighting it all this time... when I look down to see myself dress in this clothing, I feel sexy, and beautiful. can I explain why? my theory is that I'm a woman, and from things from my childhood like me questioning gender at age 4 that lines up with experiences alot of transsexuals have, I'm fairly confident that I need to transition.

[suzy1]

Lita...I think that it is because the "Lita" side of you is out, which floods your system with endorphins, and you feel happy and content. I too get this feeling, and realized this a few years ago...my wife will even "hint" at times if I don't dress for a few days..guess she sees it too!

I think, for me, Maria has got as close as you can get to an explanation.
What an interesting post this is. I have spent a long time thinking about this. Then I give up and go on enjoying it.

Have fun, SUZY

[LitaKelley]

Lita...I think that it is because the "Lita" side of you is out, which floods your system with endorphins, and you feel happy and content. I too get this feeling, and realized this a few years ago...my wife will even "hint" at times if I don't dress for a few days..guess she sees it too!

I'm now on what will be my 4th day straight en femme and still feel happy and content... Will these endorphins always be there? I don't know if "normal" is the right word to use, but being dressed all day and night for the last few days, it feels normal. I was concerned about how me being dressed these past few days with only a few hours in drab may of affected my wife, so this morning while pouring my coffee I asked her "are you ok with me like this..should I change" and she said "no, I'm fine.. if you're happier like this, why change and be the miserable pr--- I'm used to"

Could these endorphins be the cause of one feeling depressed when not dressed? Sort of like some kind of withdrawal of a drug?

[melissacd]

Perhaps another question might be why do we question it? My feeling is that we question this because we feel that we are somehow doing something wrong, that we are broken, that we should just naturally fit in to what we have been socialized to be and yet when we try and be that it feels wrong. There is that sense within us that the pieces are just not fitting together right and when we allow ourselves to just be ourselves and gravitate towards who we really feel we are we suddenly have this sense of rightness about ourselves. This would be true if you just allowed yourself to do or be whatever it is that you feel you need to do or be without questioning the motivation. So perhaps we need to ask ourselves why can we not just allow ourselves to follow our inner guide who will lead us to whatever it is that is correct for us.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

If you are asking why for fun or increasing your self knowledge by all means do it...but if the question "haunts" you..run away!!! it will only haunt you more and more

altho i like alot of what you are saying satrana, you are skipping over the practical realities of life both physically (men and women exist seperately and procreate) and socially (the vast majority of people are blessed with an internal sense of gender that is the same as their genetic gender)..there is something inside of me that points me in a direction regarding my gender...for me it turned out to point in a direction totally opposite to everything i grew up with and from my physical body..

you can't reduce something so powerful as gender to something artificial...its a real thing...we just don't really know everything about it..

[janice murray]

Crossdressing somehow nourishes you/us just as food and shelter does. When we are in our comfort zone, we feel better, we are better, we are complete.

I cant add anything to that Mary.
That's what I was trying to say.

I am complete.

[Gina X]

I've given up trying to work any of it out, I just know if I only leave my bra off for an hour or so I get agitated and get a feeling of something missing (not just the bra) so I just let it wash over me I am much happier and a nicer person to be with, it just seems to cancel out the nastier masculine traits, I don't know why it just does.................

Lots of love Gina x

[LitaKelley]

If you are asking why for fun or increasing your self knowledge by all means do it...but if the question "haunts" you..run away!!! it will only haunt you more and more



It definitely don't "haunt" me but I do have difficulty getting others to understand when they ask me "why" when I tell them I'm happier, more content, feel better, etc.. I just am... it's rather difficult to put words to my feelings and explain to someone whom does not understand.

It's rather cumbersome trying to define and understand the various feelings and emotions, particularly when there's so many of them simultaneously.. So, how does one share these things with another person incapable of relating to what I'm even talking about. The people here understand, but so many out there have no idea whatsoever.

[Gina X]

I think Lita that if you could make them "out there" understand the world would be a lot better for all of us, in the meantime we will just have to progress one little step at a time, until we conquer the world !!

Love Gina x