Frédérique
10-13-2010, 05:28 PM
I had a good day yesterday. Well, part of it was good. I came out to my sister after many years of living in the closet. It’s wonderful to be out in the open! How ridiculous...:)
It all happened innocuously enough when my sister and I found ourselves awake, at the same time, in the middle of the day. This rarely happens, since we are both night owls. We decided to go to Wal-Mart in McPherson, KS to do some food shopping. Once there, we were over by the cat food area, getting some cat litter (which we call “poop sand”). Nearby was all the Halloween stuff, including some cute little spider earrings. My sister pointed them out to me, and I told her I didn’t have pierced ears, so I can’t wear them. I must have said this with just the right inflection, because she looked at me and asked me if I was being serious. I’ve intimated a desire to get my pierced ears ever since time began (it seems), but she thought I was only joking. It finally sunk in, so she said, “Of course you can get your ears pierced!” Exactly...
So, we’re walking through the women’s clothes, and my sister spies a nightgown she likes, an all-grey one. She holds it up for me to see, I say, “Nice!” and she puts it back on the rack. “Aren’t you going to get it?” I ask. “No, I don’t wear nightgowns any more,” my sister replied. I felt like saying, “Well, I do!” but I didn’t. I felt like I wanted to disclose something, but the time (and setting) didn’t seem quite right. We did our shopping and left the store, driving north out of McPherson. Soon, we were back out in the open prairie, heading for home. I mentioned to my sister that I felt like disclosing something to her, but I said I was waiting for the right moment. “I understand,” she said, followed by, “I have something to disclose to you as well.” I knew what it was, but I didn’t let on, keeping silent on this beautiful, sunny day. After a few more miles I said, “Well, I was thinking of telling you something, but you one-upped me!” She apologized, but I demurred.
I did tell her about this forum, calling it “a forum,” comparing it to the one I was on five years ago. Just before she moved in with me (in 2006) I joined the site, but, with someone to talk to 24/7, I didn’t become active until 2009. I think I just wanted an excuse to write stuff, talking about my favorite subject with people like me (by and large). I told her about my writing here, since she had an example she enjoyed from that other site I frequented. Accordingly, when we got home, I printed up a few recent off-topic threads I began (the OP’s), carefully removing any reference to crossdressing beforehand. I brought these downstairs, she read them, and at the bottom of the final page she turned the paper around, pointed to a sentence, and said, with a knowing smile, “The wonderful world of crossdressing?” I missed a reference! “Oh, well,” I said, “The cat’s out of the bag...”
She was supportive, as I knew she would be, and understanding, as I instinctively knew she had to be – we are cut from the same alternative cloth, but she has had a more normal life. We had a long discussion about things. She also disclosed what she had been meaning to tell me for quite some time, which was no surprise to me at all, and we discussed that as well. Afterwards, we were both able to breathe huge sighs of relief. I showed my sister some of my femme clothes, and she was impressed, in fact she’s even promised to make me a dress – she’s an expert self-taught seamstress, the ideal companion for a tranny like me. The event itself seemed anti-climactic, but the feeling of being “out” carried me along for hours...
Then I logged on here to see how my latest “dropped” thread was doing. I fuss over these things off-site, reading and re-reading them, trying to anticipate responses (which is why they can get quite long). Anyway, I was satisfied, so I submitted it yesterday morning. I never hang around to respond to replies as they come in, because I can’t – I have other things to do. I like to generate discussion, which I believe is the whole idea of this place, yet avoid arguments which go against the idea of any “support” one may obtain herein. This particular thread generated lots of discussion, along with (if I may say so) unwarranted abuse reflecting back at me. I’m glad I didn’t see this earlier, but the initial euphoria over coming out was tempered by this backlash. I’ll admit that I sometimes crawl out on a limb, only to saw the damn thing off behind me, but I don’t post things to attract abuse. Since nobody around here ever apologizes for anything (with a few notable exceptions), I will follow suit. I’ll chalk this one up to a big miscalculation on my part, and, if a certain authoritative person is reading this, thinking it’s another example of bullshit, I’m here to say it isn’t. BTW, I’d like to see a little more compassion, please...
I was walking around this afternoon, forming this thread in my mind, happy and sad at the same time. I kept thinking about Lisa GoLightly, one of my favorite transgendered people ever, who I met on a UK site over five years ago. Lisa would pour her heart out, getting some much-needed support, along with tons of undesired abuse. She would write about that, too, but I didn’t quite understand how this could happen – are we looking at the same person, or are we reading different words? What gives? Am I more receptive to a person who craves understanding, simply because I’m sensitive? Do I see “hurt” people, and only wish to help, while others seek, only to hurt? Is it any wonder that I spent nearly all of last evening wondering not IF I would leave, but HOW and WHEN? This is starting to sound like one of Lisa’s passionate outpourings, so I’ll just leave it at that...
The highs and lows of crossdressing, all in one day, brought on by myself. I'm dizzy...:c9: :brokenheart:
Thanks for reading. I love you all, and I mean that most sincerely...
It all happened innocuously enough when my sister and I found ourselves awake, at the same time, in the middle of the day. This rarely happens, since we are both night owls. We decided to go to Wal-Mart in McPherson, KS to do some food shopping. Once there, we were over by the cat food area, getting some cat litter (which we call “poop sand”). Nearby was all the Halloween stuff, including some cute little spider earrings. My sister pointed them out to me, and I told her I didn’t have pierced ears, so I can’t wear them. I must have said this with just the right inflection, because she looked at me and asked me if I was being serious. I’ve intimated a desire to get my pierced ears ever since time began (it seems), but she thought I was only joking. It finally sunk in, so she said, “Of course you can get your ears pierced!” Exactly...
So, we’re walking through the women’s clothes, and my sister spies a nightgown she likes, an all-grey one. She holds it up for me to see, I say, “Nice!” and she puts it back on the rack. “Aren’t you going to get it?” I ask. “No, I don’t wear nightgowns any more,” my sister replied. I felt like saying, “Well, I do!” but I didn’t. I felt like I wanted to disclose something, but the time (and setting) didn’t seem quite right. We did our shopping and left the store, driving north out of McPherson. Soon, we were back out in the open prairie, heading for home. I mentioned to my sister that I felt like disclosing something to her, but I said I was waiting for the right moment. “I understand,” she said, followed by, “I have something to disclose to you as well.” I knew what it was, but I didn’t let on, keeping silent on this beautiful, sunny day. After a few more miles I said, “Well, I was thinking of telling you something, but you one-upped me!” She apologized, but I demurred.
I did tell her about this forum, calling it “a forum,” comparing it to the one I was on five years ago. Just before she moved in with me (in 2006) I joined the site, but, with someone to talk to 24/7, I didn’t become active until 2009. I think I just wanted an excuse to write stuff, talking about my favorite subject with people like me (by and large). I told her about my writing here, since she had an example she enjoyed from that other site I frequented. Accordingly, when we got home, I printed up a few recent off-topic threads I began (the OP’s), carefully removing any reference to crossdressing beforehand. I brought these downstairs, she read them, and at the bottom of the final page she turned the paper around, pointed to a sentence, and said, with a knowing smile, “The wonderful world of crossdressing?” I missed a reference! “Oh, well,” I said, “The cat’s out of the bag...”
She was supportive, as I knew she would be, and understanding, as I instinctively knew she had to be – we are cut from the same alternative cloth, but she has had a more normal life. We had a long discussion about things. She also disclosed what she had been meaning to tell me for quite some time, which was no surprise to me at all, and we discussed that as well. Afterwards, we were both able to breathe huge sighs of relief. I showed my sister some of my femme clothes, and she was impressed, in fact she’s even promised to make me a dress – she’s an expert self-taught seamstress, the ideal companion for a tranny like me. The event itself seemed anti-climactic, but the feeling of being “out” carried me along for hours...
Then I logged on here to see how my latest “dropped” thread was doing. I fuss over these things off-site, reading and re-reading them, trying to anticipate responses (which is why they can get quite long). Anyway, I was satisfied, so I submitted it yesterday morning. I never hang around to respond to replies as they come in, because I can’t – I have other things to do. I like to generate discussion, which I believe is the whole idea of this place, yet avoid arguments which go against the idea of any “support” one may obtain herein. This particular thread generated lots of discussion, along with (if I may say so) unwarranted abuse reflecting back at me. I’m glad I didn’t see this earlier, but the initial euphoria over coming out was tempered by this backlash. I’ll admit that I sometimes crawl out on a limb, only to saw the damn thing off behind me, but I don’t post things to attract abuse. Since nobody around here ever apologizes for anything (with a few notable exceptions), I will follow suit. I’ll chalk this one up to a big miscalculation on my part, and, if a certain authoritative person is reading this, thinking it’s another example of bullshit, I’m here to say it isn’t. BTW, I’d like to see a little more compassion, please...
I was walking around this afternoon, forming this thread in my mind, happy and sad at the same time. I kept thinking about Lisa GoLightly, one of my favorite transgendered people ever, who I met on a UK site over five years ago. Lisa would pour her heart out, getting some much-needed support, along with tons of undesired abuse. She would write about that, too, but I didn’t quite understand how this could happen – are we looking at the same person, or are we reading different words? What gives? Am I more receptive to a person who craves understanding, simply because I’m sensitive? Do I see “hurt” people, and only wish to help, while others seek, only to hurt? Is it any wonder that I spent nearly all of last evening wondering not IF I would leave, but HOW and WHEN? This is starting to sound like one of Lisa’s passionate outpourings, so I’ll just leave it at that...
The highs and lows of crossdressing, all in one day, brought on by myself. I'm dizzy...:c9: :brokenheart:
Thanks for reading. I love you all, and I mean that most sincerely...