KlaireLarnia
10-13-2010, 05:41 PM
Quick point, there is no real point to this. I just kinda wanted to say it and voice it out to anyone who cares to listen:
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Yesterday my wife had to fly back to her home country. So I am alone with my daughter for the next 10 days (well 9 now). As my daughter is at school in the day this leaves me at home redecorating the bathroom as I have taken time off work to help look after her while my wife is away.
Nothing unusual there, but with my wife away and my daughter at school I have a chance to dress more while I am doing the bathroom and also a little more freely in the morning/evening. I will still adhere to the rule of my daughter not seeing me dressed in obviously female clothes.
When I got up I put on my jeans and also a loose female top - which was then covered with a zip up jumper when it was time to wake my daughter up and then put the washing outside to dry.
After dropping her to school, I got back home to start the bathroom. This time changing to a comfortable denim dress to work. The only time I was not in a denim dress was when the door bell rang and I covered up (quickly) with my jeans and jumper.
When it was time to pick my daughter up I changed out of the dress back into the top and jeans - again covering the top when I went to her school. While cooking dinner for us, I had the zip of my jumper at around half-way so you could see part of the patterned top underneath but not much. Not a mummer from my daughter - she didn't appear to really pay any attention.
Also today a shoulder bag I ordered off Ebay arrived and I am VERY happy with it as it is way better in real life than in the picture. This is one of 3 bags I am getting for use when I go away. Okay so where am I going with this?
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Well here: At the moment I am in a heaven and hell situation. On one hand I can dress more freely which is great and I love this. On the other hand I have to cover up/change at certain times when frankly I see no reason why I have to which is very frustrating. I feel happy and comfortable in womens clothes, it is natural and it no stranger than a girl in a shirt or a loose fitting top to me. I have already got my top sorted for tomorrow which I am looking forward to wearing. I will again be "DIY man in womens clothes" tomorrow as I work.
This week and next week I am okay, but when my wife gets back I am going to have to stop and go back to "male mode" only in the house. No spending 3 hours in the evening in a low cut top and long skirt as I am now. No sleeping in a nightdress as I will. No spending all day in... well whatever takes my fancy.
The world really pisses me off at times. I cannot do this "on Femme" lark. I am not female, I do not want to look or pass as female but I really do want to wear the same types of clothing and for that I sit in this heaven and hell place where I can, but only at certain times/situations. When I got ready to get my daughter I sat there and thought "Why do I have to change? What is wrong with this top?" and then covered it up and remembered that there was nothing wrong with the top - just a load wrong with society.
That said I am planning my next business trip more. I have one of the bags I want which will be worn in public, I also have a couple of purses to go in them. I have a couple of women's coats turning up this week to keep me warm. Now all I need is a part of 1-2 inch heeled shoes and I am sorted and ready to do. I will again be a man in women's clothes walking around in public and boy am I looking forward to it.
Klaire
(who is using the excuse she is tired and needs to sleep to excuse that jumble of words and thoughts up there).
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Yesterday my wife had to fly back to her home country. So I am alone with my daughter for the next 10 days (well 9 now). As my daughter is at school in the day this leaves me at home redecorating the bathroom as I have taken time off work to help look after her while my wife is away.
Nothing unusual there, but with my wife away and my daughter at school I have a chance to dress more while I am doing the bathroom and also a little more freely in the morning/evening. I will still adhere to the rule of my daughter not seeing me dressed in obviously female clothes.
When I got up I put on my jeans and also a loose female top - which was then covered with a zip up jumper when it was time to wake my daughter up and then put the washing outside to dry.
After dropping her to school, I got back home to start the bathroom. This time changing to a comfortable denim dress to work. The only time I was not in a denim dress was when the door bell rang and I covered up (quickly) with my jeans and jumper.
When it was time to pick my daughter up I changed out of the dress back into the top and jeans - again covering the top when I went to her school. While cooking dinner for us, I had the zip of my jumper at around half-way so you could see part of the patterned top underneath but not much. Not a mummer from my daughter - she didn't appear to really pay any attention.
Also today a shoulder bag I ordered off Ebay arrived and I am VERY happy with it as it is way better in real life than in the picture. This is one of 3 bags I am getting for use when I go away. Okay so where am I going with this?
---
Well here: At the moment I am in a heaven and hell situation. On one hand I can dress more freely which is great and I love this. On the other hand I have to cover up/change at certain times when frankly I see no reason why I have to which is very frustrating. I feel happy and comfortable in womens clothes, it is natural and it no stranger than a girl in a shirt or a loose fitting top to me. I have already got my top sorted for tomorrow which I am looking forward to wearing. I will again be "DIY man in womens clothes" tomorrow as I work.
This week and next week I am okay, but when my wife gets back I am going to have to stop and go back to "male mode" only in the house. No spending 3 hours in the evening in a low cut top and long skirt as I am now. No sleeping in a nightdress as I will. No spending all day in... well whatever takes my fancy.
The world really pisses me off at times. I cannot do this "on Femme" lark. I am not female, I do not want to look or pass as female but I really do want to wear the same types of clothing and for that I sit in this heaven and hell place where I can, but only at certain times/situations. When I got ready to get my daughter I sat there and thought "Why do I have to change? What is wrong with this top?" and then covered it up and remembered that there was nothing wrong with the top - just a load wrong with society.
That said I am planning my next business trip more. I have one of the bags I want which will be worn in public, I also have a couple of purses to go in them. I have a couple of women's coats turning up this week to keep me warm. Now all I need is a part of 1-2 inch heeled shoes and I am sorted and ready to do. I will again be a man in women's clothes walking around in public and boy am I looking forward to it.
Klaire
(who is using the excuse she is tired and needs to sleep to excuse that jumble of words and thoughts up there).