CAN YOU BE A TS if you are not planning to change your physique?

[Amandha]

So, in my youth I was passable (didn't we all), took hormones (still have small tits..) and I even was in therapy in preparation to become a female--never carried it out, nor I look the part at all now...
I am not gay, nor a CD nor a TV; yet I have had bi-experiences, dress as a woman and love WOMEN A LOT... not attracted to men sexually... but can be bi....

Yet, my main preference is women, but if I could transition I would be a woman that would like to have a male partner (not gay).

Yet, I love for my wife to be herself and through her I enjoy my feminine side (lucky her--she gets all she wants).

So, when I am open about my sexuality with someone I trust, I tell them I am a TS.
Would love to hear you tell me how right or wrong I am---since I already know I am very confused!! ha!!

[Rianna Humble]

Others may disagree with me, but in my not so humble opinion what you do or don't do does not change whether you are transsexual. If you know that you are a woman trapped inside a man's body then for me you are TS. My reading of your post is that your dysphoria just hasn't reached the stage where you cannot live with that fact.

You prefer women as partners, but say that if you transition you would be a woman that likes to have a male partner. I don't understand why you say that. Who you are attracted to does not depend upon your gender. I know, from reading here, that some women change their orientation after going through HRT, but as far as I can tell this is not a hard and fast rule.

[charlotte_sp]

So, when I am open about my sexuality with someone I trust, I tell them I am a TS.
Would love to hear you tell me how right or wrong I am---since I already know I am very confused!! ha!!

I think you are conflating gender identity and sexual orientation a bit. Being transsexual falls under gender identity, and like Rianna said, it does not necessarily affect your sexual orientation.

One thing that bothers me is your repeated insistence on not being gay. It's fine if you don't identify that way or are not attracted to men, but the way you keep rejecting it is pretty homophobic and can make gay members feel unwelcome. I think it would be helpful to ask yourself why you feel the need to mention it so often.

As to your specific question, usually people have specific criteria when they hear "transsexual", but there is not a strong consensus. In your case, I guess the first step is to understand what you mean by "BE A TS".

Do you want to live full-time as a female?

You do not need to change any part of your body to go forward with it. Please don't feel any pressure to do so. No matter what, you are welcome in the trans community.

Also, I'm not sure of your relationship with your wife, but obviously you do have a responsibility to involve her in your decisions.

Best of luck!

[Bree-asaurus]

Charlotte, I think you are reading way too much into her simply stating that she doesn't feel that she is gay.

Amanda, what you decide to show the world does not define who you are inside. If you're a transexual, you're a transexual. You can transition, or decide to present yourself to the world as your physical birth gender, or even repress your feelings and deny you are a transexual... but that doesn't change the fact that you ARE one (if you are indeed a transexual :) )

[Byanca]

Literary reading I interpret the word transsexual straight forward. That ones sexuality is transitioned. If transsexualism originated in the womb as is the most accepted and likely explanation, or just the gene/dna lottery. Then you have always been transsexual by a chain of events that borders or crosses the realm of absurdity, or just pure random luck(chance). Changing the physique will only be for your (and others) comfort, I don't see it as related to transsexualism. More like a work out? To be fit and comfortable in ones body. As we know is important.

[Faith_G]

Being TS is not something that you do. You have to do what works for you, whatever that might be.

[Nigella]

In response to the title, yes you can be TS if you don't plan to change your physique. Being TS is not all about the body shape, it is about how you feel as an individual, whether you identify as TS.

Reading into the post, well I think you, like a lot of others have confused gender identity with sexuality. You only have to look at one of the first questions we get asked when we start telling people who we are "Are you gay then?".

I have been happily married to my partner for the last 23 years and have never had any sexual feelings for Genetic Males. I still look at females and find them attractive in a sexual way. My preferences in this area has not changed since I identified myself as TS. There is no magical switch that changes how you feel in all aspects of your life. Experiences alone do that, somethings are just brought more into focus as you accept your gender identity.

I believe that confusion lies about gender and sexuality simply because you are identified by Sex and not Gender, you only have to look at most of the forms you need to fill in, very few, although that is now changing, as for your gender, they mostly ask for your sex.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

What you "are" and what you do about it are different things. Also, I think being gender conflicted is incredibly confusing and challenges our self worth....if you are asking the question, be prepared to answer it..do the work and figure yourself out.. or you will just ask it over and over again for the rest of your life!!

every time i see the "i'm not gay" statement, i rightly or wrongly have the same reaction as charlotte...i think for the OP exploring that concept is worth at least considering, if only to make sure that the understanding of sexuality doesnt cloud the realities of being ts..

i'm surprised you doubt yourself after already taking hormones...there are lots of good reasons to not transition but why on earth would you announce to someone you are TS if you have no plans to transition?

[Byanca]

you only have to look at most of the forms you need to fill in, very few, although that is now changing, as for your gender, they mostly ask for your sex.
Yes. I've seen it's asked often for gender now. But I have still to see it's asked for both sex and gender. I presume it's ask for sex if the form ask for gender, they just have not understood what it means. Very very few are interested in anything else then what is between the legs.