Shame and guilt.

[suzy1]

I feel so sorry for the girls that suffer shame and guilt over crossdressing.
I can understand why, but it must be a true downside to crossdressing for them.
If only some of the girls who suffer this way could see that there is no reason to feel this way.
We really are doing nothing wrong even though society thinks we are some times.
To hell with the closed minded morons out there I say.
I see it as a gift, to be enjoyed. A bonus in life.
How many others out there get the buzz we get from dressing up?

Enjoy who you are, SUZY

[PretzelGirl]

Amen Suzy. Life should be there to be enjoyed. For those that don't because of what we do, I feel bad and wish things would be better for them.

[Kiera79]

I use to feel that way but, now I am excited to venture out in my flats, heels, or nike air womans running shoes just because I am different and that makes me special. I am loved by my family and my CLOSE friends and to me that is better than all of the strangers opinions in the world.

[linnea]

I went through a lot of shame and guilt; eventually, worked my way past those feelings (in no small part due to my joining this forum) and with the help of a psychotherapist and family to whom I came out a little over a year ago, I feel the sense of joy and good fortune that you've stated, Suzy. I now think of being TG as an incredible gift. Thank you for commenting on this.

[kaitlin]

I truly do not feel any shame or guilt about my choice of life styles! Almost everyone I love and trust knows about me, my wife loves her Kaitlin time and encourges it almost everyday! My only "BIG" problem is not being able to be me outside of my home. I'm a pretty good size person, very able to take care of myself if needed, but around here that is just what I'd have to do, if I went out dressed as I should be! So to advoid fights and being shunned by the neighbors, Kaitlin almost never gets out!

[Jay Cee]

I'm starting to get past the shame and the guilt. It might take a while, but it is well worth it.

[juno]

I never had shame or guilt over crossdressing, or any other feminine interest. I have had other struggles in life, and stress over crossdressing seems so pointless. I never realized that crossdressing is such an obstacle for so many people. Enjoying your feminine side is a wonderful thing. Even here, parents are afraid to expose their children to CDing (although it is often done for the SO). Unfortunately, it seems that mixed-gender identities like crossdressing and intersex freak people out, because they have to confront the idea that gender is not a "black and white" issue. There is no clear division between heterosexuals and homosexuals. There is no "us versus them"; we are all just people. Those of us who have the courage and ability need to reach out not just to other CDers, but to everyone. There are still many people who associate gay men with child molesters. Most people probably have similar misconceptions of crossdressers. I think that fear of being labeled with those misconceptions is what gives gender-variant people the most fear. Let's work to get rid of the ignorance.

[NicoleScott]

Those of us who discovered our crossdressing desires way before the internet and contemporary lifestyle attitudes remember that we had no support system. We had to deal with knowing we were different but didn't know that it was OK to be that way. So we kept it all private; guilt and shame was fairly normal. While now I have a femme identity with no guilt and shame, it's still private and controlled in "real" life.
As a boy I was caught playing with lipstick. My dad held me down and applied it to my lips while verbally humiliating me in an attempt to cure me of this deviant behavior. Typical attitudes for the period. Of course, I cried and resisited as I was expected to do. But it didn't change any thing.
What DID change me (mostly, among other factors), from guilt and shame to self-acceptance was the internet, realizing that I was not alone, that there were so many crossdressers, many driven by the same things as me, that maybe I am normal after all, just a guy who likes to dress up occasionally, and what's wrong with that?

[AKAMichelle]

The shame and guilt are the prelude to our acceptance of ourselves. It takes a long time before we can deal with everything associated with cd'ing. But when we do then we can finally enjoy the blessing of cd'ing. I am so much happier on the side of cd'ing.

[Karren H]

The only time I feel shame and guilt is when I'm sent to the penalty box for crosschecking not for crossdressing.. "I go to box and feel shame"..... Slat Shot"). :)

[Steph.TS]

I still feel guilt and shame, I can talk myself into going into a store browsing, and buying what I want, but I can never bring myself to tell the SA that I'm buying for myself, I want to get fitted for curve ID jeans, and I'm afraid to ask, when I go into a fem clothing store and buy clothing if I'm asked who I'm buying for by the SA I just say my girlfriend, I wish I had the courage to admit it... I hear such great stories but at the center of it all I'm ashamed to say, 'this dress is for me'.

I would love to go into an women's clothing store and feel like I belong here, not walking around reassuring myself with a false story to tell anyone who asks, but the nice thing is once I buy whatever, and walk out I think to myself, how great it was and how I can't wait to do it again!

[NicoleScott]

The only time I feel shame and guilt is when I'm sent to the penalty box for crosschecking not for crossdressing.. "I go to box and feel shame"..... Slat Shot"). :)

Come on, Karren, you're not sorry. You're just sorry you got caught.

[docrobbysherry]

1. If dressing turns u on, THAT can be a BIG NO NO for SOME of us!:sad:

2. Money spent, (wasted?), on your fem self?

3. Time wasted on CDing. Instead of: spending time with friends, family, or cleaning your garage, house, office, yard, ( I could go on FOREVER here!) :brolleyes:

4. Moral dilemma:
If u were raised that guys dressing in girls clothes is cool, good for u! I WASN'T!:straightface:

Let me add I HATE GUILT! But, simply wishing it would go away isn't working for me!:doh:

[suzy1]

I understand and respect your viewpoint on this Sherry.
I think for me it’s a case of just not being influenced by religion, [no moral dilemmas there then] other people’s opinions or anything else.
In this life, if you are doing something that hurts no one, and gives you pleasure then why not?
Can doing something that gives one pleasure be time wasting? [Or money wasting]
Lastly, I agree, some of us here find that they can’t just “wish the guilt away”
But this is just my opinion. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.
Thanks for your reply Sherry

SUZY