The gender-bender...

[CJFMix]

(Originelly posted in "member introduction" section)

I'm happy to have found this site ,
first : I now have a chance to tell my story ,
sec : I now have a chance to reflect upon
the ideas/opinions/testimonies/stories , from other CD'ers .

__________________________________________________

A bit of history :
One evening , at 9 yrs old , while I was preparing to bath , when
I saw my mom's stockings laying around . I got hit by curiosity ,
wondering what it felt like to wear them !!!
I remember , the stockings were too big for the size of my legs ,
but , I knew , that it was not to be the last time doing this !!!

Then , whenever my folks went shopping for a couple hours ,
I went looking thru my mom's drawers , trying on all of her
stockings & pantyhoses .

At 15 , I've start wearing bras & skirts .
At 17 , I mooved out my parents house , and start going out ,
as CD'er , in public .

Then , progressively , to be fulltime CD from 26 to 31 yrs old .
I've been everywhere I wanted ; shopping , bars & restaurants ,
movies , friends places , buses & subways ,
even Greyhound buses , etc...

[CJFMix]

One month after reading many posts on this forum ,
I feel like a minority among you all .

Because , the generality behind crossdressing is :
passing as a woman .
This is where I'm different from the generality .

Yes , I wear skirts & pantyhoses (bras 40% of the time) ,
because of my medium long hair , I never wore a wig ,
I never wore heels , and seldom wore make-up and/or dresses .
But , I never intended to pass a woman .
More like a boy who dresses in skirts .
(As for a very few members I've seen here) .

My fear is : not beeing able to blend among you ,
because of prejudice towards me/us (gender-benders) .

Explanation :
Generality says : CD'ers try to keep low profile by trying to pass .
Well , for me , even if I dress sobre/casual/conservative ,
it's hard to keep low profile !!!

[Lauren_T]

There're more of us here flying the Boy George flag (so to speak :p ) than you might think... :thumbsup:

Some are a bit on the quiet side is all.

The best thing I can say is, we gender-variant types fall into the category of pre-op or non-op transsexuals... It's not a great fit either, since many TS only want to be one-or-the-other...

Personally, I think we're a minority within a minority! :D

[CJFMix]

I can hear some of you might say :
It's guys like you that put a bad reputation
on crossdressers ???

If I try answering this , I would say :

-That the way I dress is nothing shocking/provocative ,
but morelike sober/casual/conservative .

-That I do not mean to pose any harm/offense/disrespect
towards people in my outings in public .

-That after reading on the subject for many years ,
just like many of you knows ; that crossdressing
can be expressed in a wide range of manners .
(Hey , I could keep going on and on , but , lastly..)

-That the Queen of anthropology , Margaret Mead
showed in her studies , that men as been crossdressing
for as long as ten thousand years ago , and that they do it
mainly to distinguish themselves and differentiate
from others of the same sex .

-Finally , my philosophy of life is "live and let live" .

So , here it is !!!
I think I'm done for now !!!

I wish some comments !!!

[Priscilla1018]

Hello,

Welcome to our family.I hope you find what your looking for here and I don't care if your a minority,we are all family here.Enjoy. :wave:

[Wendy me]

good gawd hang ups on lables and things only one thing matters are you happy ??? if yes that all that matters ...find that and you are ok............welcome ........

[Kimberly]

-Finally , my philosophy of life is "live and let live" .
As is mine... so you'll receive no prejudice from me at all. Well done for having the courage to wear what you want to wear out in public. Even though it might not be a huge deal for you, people will still have the same opinions of you as they often do of the "generality" of CDers you talk about. They will still label you as a crossdresser, even if you may technically see yourself as merely wearing what you wanted to wear.

It's interesting to read your post, in this sea of trying to pass - I agree - and am often one to think there is too much pressure put on it sometimes. I will one day dress completely en femme, but I will not try to pass, as most phrase it here. I will merely try and look my best - whether I believe I look female or not is irellivant... the dressing is what I strive to do, and dressing to MY satisfaction is the ultimate goal.

I wish you all the best of luck in the world :)

xx

[Daphne Renee]

well I dont think it really matters if you are trying to pass or not.
I try not to judge people As long as your happy and no one gets hurt who really cares? I know there are labels but they arent important.
I hope you feel welcome here. I havent been on this board long at all. However everyone has made me feel welcome..

[Lauren_T]

I can hear some of you might say :
It's guys like you that put a bad reputation
on crossdressers ???

-That I do not mean to pose any harm/offense/disrespect
towards people in my outings in public .


No need to apologize, is there now? CDs do no one harm, despite what Hollywood sometimes imagines us as. After all, we are the wave of the future... A time will eventually come when civilized people will take it as a given that gender is a continuous spectrum, not either/or, and that everyone has their own particular point (or range) along it.

[Natalie x]

I can hear some of you might say :
It's guys like you that put a bad reputation
on crossdressers ???


CJF, I hope no-one here will ever say anything like that. We are all minorities here, each of us in our own little sub-group. What unites us, apart from the shared action of crossdressing, is that we are rejected by a large part of society, and we know that we have to stick together for strength and support. No, no-one here is likely to pick on you for your way of dressing, you are one of us.

[gender_blender]

Did someone say my name? Just kidding.

Sometimes, when I feel less feminine than to go full female mode (and more feminine than to go androgynous), I wear what I consider a compromise of gender: a skirt and a tshirt (no bra), to play the gender roulette game, though with my own feminine features people usually still see a girl.


Charlie

[Billijo49504]

I don't know where you were reading to find prejudice here. All I've found on this site is compassion, understanding and encouragement to be who you want to be. I don't ever remember seeing any flames here, just a bunch of warm snuggles. But welcome anyway and be who you wantto be, as long as you are happy with yourself. That's the important thing. :)

[Deborah]

Labels labels....who care's. You have alot in common with everyone else here so don't worry about it hon. :D

[paulacd]

My philosophy is that as long as I don't hurt or embarass anybody else, what I do to myself is my decision.

I wear what I want, when I want. Not eveyrbody is understanding of this, but I can't tell you how happy I am to be a part of this group where we can all offer support to each other and encourage other like-minded people to be themselves.

Life is too short not to spend it doing what YOU want to do.

There will always be other people who hate or fear you for what you are, but there will also be a huge amount of help and support for you out there - sometimes in the most unlikely of places.

Be what you are and do what you like, but don't break any laws!!!!!

Thanks to everybody in this forum who made me realise I wasn't alone and made my gf realise she wasn't with a 'wierdo'!!!