I feel like a box

[Aprilrain]

When I'm not dressed I feel like the box that April comes in. The more I do to look feminine the more incongruent I look to myself in drab. The shaved legs look out of place coming out of my shorts but look great with a skirt. Now i want laser on my face and well whole body really but face is a neccesity. Will i look even more out of place to myself in drab with no shadow? Anyway last night a friend who doesn't know about the CDing kept asking me if I had done something to myself to change my look. He asked me if I had makeup on I was terrified that I hadn't gotten all the mascara off but remembered that I had been thorough. I had the burning eyes to prove it. My eyebrows are pretty thin I think that is what he saw but he just couldn't place it he even asked me if I had gotten a face lift! In the end he settled on moisturizer. I have been uesing moisturizer more regularly. I guess it has rejuvenated my skin a little. The only time I feel completely ok in drab now is when I am getting exercise other wise I feel kinda selfcontious. The only time I really feel selfcontious en femme now is when people talk to me otherwise I just feel like me only girllier.

What is your experience with these types of feelings if any.