I've been more open about my crossdressing lately, I hope I'm doing the right thing

[Jill]

My life has changed a lot over the last year and a half or so. I've been able to venture out a bit while dressed. I've made some new good friends and gotten a lot of help with my makeup. For some time now I've felt tired of the lying and the hiding and the covert operations. Most importantly I've accepted myself as a CDer and pushed out the guilt and shame I've felt over the years. As a result, I have wanted to be more accepted by others and have been more open about what I do.

I told a friend recently, the first male friend I have ever told. I always knew he would be fine with it and when I told him his response was, "Ok, so?"

I had a long talk with my sister about it last night. She learned about my crossdressing years ago, we had a talk about it at the time and not a word has been spoken about it since. I contacted her to ask her to make me sash for a dress I have in attempt to see if we could be open about it. It was awkward to talk about at first but in the end it was a really good conversation and she said that she appreciated me being open and honest about it and agreed that the guilt and shame was bad. She said that she would like to go to a tri-ess meeting with me to gain a better understanding of what this is all about.

I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing. I want certain people in my life to know but I don't want it to come completely out. Am I doing the right thing or am I playing with fire?

[Elizabeth Ann]

You have no idea how much I wish I could answer that question.
Liz

[TiffanyTgirl]

I am glad for you. Living with all the guilt and emotion that come with cd'ing can be a little unbearable at times. I am very happy for you

[Inna]

We play with fire no matter what undertaking, there will be varying opinions as usual and with subject such as this, strong words might be stated. However, it is the truth and as the visa commercial best describes it: Donna Karan dress: $298.00, Jimmy Choos heels $259.99, showing up dressed: oh my what the ?!, Being your self: PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

[stellatoo]

Hi Jill, I'm doing the same! Gradually telling family & friends about Stella. I told another bloke I've known for nearly 10 years and his response was "Ok, tho' I might take the p*^s out of you!" Well since he already does that-we do different martial arts; his being the more manly and mine softer & more technical-I'm not really bothered about more joking. I don't want to hide who I am anymore and whilst I wont tell everyone, if it gets out I'll deal with it as and when.
Good luck with all you're doing

[tricia_uktv]

You are doing fine. Work out how you are safe to come out to first and take your time. The harder ones can comer later though I suspect you will still be surprised. Brill :)

[kayegirl]

Jill. Seems You Me and Stella, are in the same place, I've told a good many folk over the past few months and for the most the reaction has been heartwarming, only one bad comment, (so far). Somebody else said it on this forum first, and to whoever it was, sorry for pinching your line, but it's true "Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter"

[Nicki S]

"Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter"That is a great quote!

[vikki smith]

I have to agree with everyone on here so far especially the quote. Good luck and keep your head up. If it helps any I love you for you.

[Fab Karen]

You've already mentioned feeling better by doing so. You can ask us, and you can ask a therapist, but yes you're on the right track.

[gagina]

you have good taste in pantyhose, youre legs look great I agree about forever in pantyhose

[Christy_M]

This is your journey and only you can tell if you are making the right choice. There are plenty here you may tell you to jump at all cost but you should consider the total impact as you develop more comfort with your feminine side. There are plenty here who will support you along the way. I have found that finding them is not too difficult. Measured steps are needed regardless of the pace you take in coming out. I personally wish the best for you and hope you find your own solace in your journey.

Hugs,
Christy

[joan47]

I have come out to aout 6 people at work, all female, I work at restaurant and I am the lead host. They probably have spread the word to the almost all girl server staff, plus I have done other things to become more feminine, I wear an ankle braclet, have long arylic nails, very thin waxed eyebrows that I keep dark by hightlighted them with hair color, pierced ears, and wear very feminine smelling perfume.

I also came out at my 45th high school reunion, I went en-femme, my ex girl friend e-mailed all class mates prior to let them know and all comments were very positive. All my family knows.

[AKAMichelle]

You are certainly not doing the wrong thing. Sounds like your sister is wanted to find out to accept you for who you are.

[Sarah Doepner]

It sounds right to me, but what do I know? I haven't volunteered this information to anyone other than my wife, so you are in territory I haven't explored yet. That being said, it seems as though you have been choosing wisely and not rushing into the telling without thinking first. As for taking your sister to your Tri-Ess meeting, put out the invitation, that's what the group is all about.

[PretzelGirl]

you have good taste in pantyhose, youre legs look great I agree about forever in pantyhose

True story: The first Tri-Ess meeting that Jill and I both ended up at, she was there first. When I walked in there were three new people sitting together talking (the other two also being from this forum). I looked across the faces to see if I recognized them, then looked down at Jill's legs and promptly stated who she was.

Jill, having been down that road with family members and a few friends and with you seeing some of the results, here is my thought. It is a complete gamble on when to tell anyone. It is a complete gamble to even actually tell anyone. Some can stick with not telling anyone,but for the rest of us, we need to let reason reign as we make that decision. So to me, I want to think out who I am going to tell and when. And when I tell them, I want to make sure they have someone else to talk to about it. This way they don't need to bottle up our secret. That release can be important.

After that, you are leaving it up to their discretion. You have previously thought it out and made the decision, so go with it. The one thing I told myself was that as long as I was not trying to come completely out, then I would only tell one person at a time (or in the case of my daughter, her and her husband) and then let some time pass to ensure all was well. This way I don't get on a "roll" of comfort and start telling too many people without having thought it through.

But if she is your sister, I think all will be fine. I would love to be able to meet her in a future meeting. Just prep her on our inside joke. :D