"Women dress up for other women".

[docrobbysherry]

That's what a woman said at a mixed function I was at last week. Someone mentioned women in very hi-heels. A guy said, "They wear those for men!"
Then, a woman responded with my TITLE LINE above!:eek:

Whether or NOT that's tru, I wondered who CDs dress up for? Those of u that DO dress up, that is!?:)

As a closet CD, I dress up for MYSELF! Then, I may post my pics in the vain hope that OTHER'S mite like them. But, whether they DO or DON'T, I assemble my looks to suit MYSELF!:brolleyes:

Those of u that dress up, WHY do u do it? For yourself? For other CDs? For men or GGs?
Curious minds want to KNOW!:straightface:

[Gerrijerry]

My style of clothes is to blend in so in saying that it would be to blend in with other women. Therefore yes I dress for the approval of other women.

[ReineD]

Whether or NOT that's tru,

Just for the record, it isn't. Not for most of us.



I wondered who CDs dress up for? Those of u that DO dress up, that is!? :)

And now, back to our regular programming. I can't wait to read the responses! :)

[Sophie_C]

For what I understand, it's somewhat misunderstood. Most women dress up in their personal style to simple look good, fashionable and appropriate for the occasion. I don't believe any 'approval' is involved in any of it, other than to herself. I think the mix-up happens in the fact that those factors have nothing to do with the fact that her man might find her hotter in heels all the time than ballet flats or moccasins, which she'd find 'cute and fun.' So, it's not that they dress up for 'each other', it's that they never dress up 'for men.' If a woman is wearing heels it's because she likes how they look, not because her boyfriend / husband likes how she looks in heels. At least, that's for every single woman I have ever met, outside of rare 'treats' on special occasions like anniversaries.

On the other hand, I know plenty of guys dolled up in outfits their girlfriend / wife put together (dressing up entirely FOR women), but they all really needed in help in the fashion department... lol....

[Kathi Lake]

I certainly don't dress up for me. I mean, ewwww. :)

I dress up for me - plain and simple (hey! Just like me! :)).

Kathi

[Michelle1056]

Personally, I buy clothing that I like. But I do like to dress for others. Yet, I'm closet...lol I find a anonymous person to take pictures of me and try to wow them (generally, I find men - not women :( ). It's a lot of fun and I LOVE seeing the pics because it's seeing myself from a different perspective than I'm used to! It's great!

Michelle

[Sandra]

As a GG I dress for myself. :)

[Blaire]

Coutner question for ya Doc! If you dress strictly for yourself, and yourself only, why do you post pics in the name of vanity?

Your clothing is your expression of self. In several cases, such as a job interview, they become a projection of self. People wear what they do to be seen, knowing full well that anyone that sees them will form their first opinions, however vague and non-committed, on what they see.

I've been to a couple of formals where two gals were wearing what was close enough to the same dress... line of sight between the two was a dangerous place to be. I will never know why that was - and still is in some circles, but I suspect Alpha Queen type stuff. I've also had a girlfriend that would only wear a dress to a formal event once - not even for two in different countries (let alone different ball rooms in the same city!) - she called it a fashion faux pas... I called it snobby... but that's the image projection she was after with her peers (ie, the "other women" to dress for).

No answer is one size fits all. You can't take my old gf's opinion and say that "women" in general are like her, but you can't discount it either.

[carhill2mn]

The basic answer is that I do it for myself. That being said, I truely enjoy receiving compliments from others. In today's society one is more likely to recieve a compliment from a woman than a man. Men certainly notice a nicely dressed woman but would rarely say so to someone whom they do not know personally.

[tricia_uktv]

I think it depends what type of crossdresser you are. My friend, Tina, definately dresses fior men and admits it. On the other hand I dress for women. You can't beat getting complimentary remarks from ggs about your outfit, make-up or accessories.

[Christie ann]

When a guy I dress for comfort and function
As a CD I dress for comfort, function and cute

[Inna]

Since I am still living as a guy when I dress is to achieve balance and reaffirmation that I look as I feel. When out I dress to present my self in good light and appropriate for occasion. Yes, I do want to be looked at as pretty and fashionable gal, to whoever is looking.

[eluuzion]

I do it because it makes it much easier for my partner to steal the guy's wallets when they are distracted...:D:tongueout Jus' kid'n, I am not a thief...I am a serial killer...hehehee

Internet disneyland reply:
I dress for myself, not for others. I am not dressing to impress anyone, and certainly not to attract guys...I am straight!!

Real world reply:
I dress for success, no wait, for excess...wait, I mean sexcess...wait.
Oh, ok...I dress because it makes me feel sexy and turns me on and it is just fun to push the envelope. I also dress for CDs, GGs, guys, gays, lesbians, transeverybodies, and anybody else that is interested. It is just a rush...and I am an explorer. There I said it, and I'm not takin' it back...:D

I believe women dress according to the competitive games they share with each other in fashion...but the primary goal is the provocative fuse it lights for men.

that's what I think...during the few times I actually do think...:heehee:

[Loni]

i dress up for my self, but i try to be good looking and in fashion.
my intent is to be able to blend in and not be noticed..but i do try to dress nice.
like for school tonight i am just wearing a purple skirt and a black shell top with a (not a shawl it has short sleeves) cover it might get chilly tonight. and i try to cover my wide shoulders.
not sure if heels or sandals, but not flats.

.

[NicoleScott]

[QUOTE=Blaire;2297455]Coutner question for ya Doc! If you dress strictly for yourself, and yourself only, why do you post pics in the name of vanity? /QUOTE]

Doc, I wouldn't presume to speak for you, but I'd like a stab at this.

Blaire, are you implying that we dress up only to post pics of ourselves? Taking pictures is done for many reasons (shall I list?), and posting them is an afterthought.

I dressed up before I took pics, and I took pics long before the internet. Yes, I like to share my pics, especially with other cd's. Nothing wrong with a little feedback, and getting a little recognition for my efforts. I have many more pics than I have posted. Before archiving my pics digitally, I maintained a scrapbook.
I also like to see pics of other cd's. And don't question their motives for posting them.

Hey, I just got a new car! Of course, I only bought it so I could take pictures of it to post online.

[ReineD]

You can't take my old gf's opinion and say that "women" in general are like her, but you can't discount it either.

Blaire, I suppose there are divas among every group of people! But in this economy, there aren't many who can afford to wear different evening gowns, even when the galas are in different countries! Frankly, I'd even go so far as to say that the average woman doesn't attend all that many galas. :D

Getting back to Sherry's question, maybe it needs a bit of tweaking:

Who are two women dressing for?

144814144813

The question isn't so much about individual women's personalities. I think you'll get more accurate answers if you ask what are her motives when a woman wears particular items of clothing. Unless the sexy sweater dress woman is a lesbian, if anyone thinks she dresses for other women, or even purely for herself, you have a lot to learn about women. She is definitely dressing for men (edited to add: or for the man in her life). But I would say that the plaid dress woman is dressing for herself.

Now granted, the CDs who post pics in lingerie or who go out wearing outfits that have a similar sexiness score as the sweater dress may be dressing for themselves, for the pleasure of knowing they are achieving the sexy woman look. But, I guarantee you that it is the men they encounter who will appreciate their look more than the women. It boggles my mind that some CDs don't, or say they don't realize this. :)

[Amy Hepker]

I dress in Clothes I like that I think look good on me.Skirts and dresses are nice, but cannot be worn everyday. I like to blend in not stick out. I want to look like a Female and act like a female and try to be accepted as a female. Males? EWWWWWWW!!! I would never dress for any male, I would love to dress in Ladies clothes to turn the Ladies on, but most females want Men to be Men not a man in a dress. I have made many Female friends while dressed was accepted by most females out there the ones you want to watch for are the Teeny boppers in a herd, always avoid them. Singly most female will accept you and will talk with you. These are my observations.

[charlie]

Hello Sherry!
I dress mainly for myself and that is bent so my clothes choices are acceptable to those around me when I go out. When I did not venture out of the house, I could wear outlandish styles with the shortest skirts and sexy lingerie that could show. Now I dress to blend and still satisfy myself.

[Kelly Greene]

in very general terms I believe that women "GG's" dress in a manor that helps them feel good about the way they feel about the way they look.
For my self I try to look pretty so that I can feel good about the way I feel about the way I look.
even when it comes to being practical in terms of dress I try to choose colors that I like because it helps me feel good abut the way I feel about the way I look.

[KarenS]

Whether or NOT that's tru, I wondered who CDs dress up for? Those of u that DO dress up, that is!?:)

Curious minds want to KNOW!:straightface:


I dress up to keep from getting arrested.
I dress in female clothing because it makes me feel better and I like it!

[erica12b]

i have had some thought on this , if im dressing i want to dress as proper as i can but i want to dress in what i would like to see a girl in to, so am i dressing for my self (yes) and no , i dont go out and yet i want to dress proper ,
wont anything fem work (no) it needs to match be and look right , but no one will ever see it , so who am i dressing for ? i just dont know if falls in to the same as why am i dressing , ( for me) or a need to express a inner fem side , when i half to, i half too , but why , if cought the end result could be extrordenaraly bad yet i still do it and feel great , then the guilts then the i dont cares , still the for why's the why and how comes all come back to- for me , i need to and i want to feel that way ok clear as mud ok

[Blaire]

Blaire, are you implying that we dress up only to post pics of ourselves? Taking pictures is done for many reasons (shall I list?), and posting them is an afterthought.

I don't remember saying "only." Change the first sentence to "Blaire, are you saying that when we dress up, we will at times take pictures of ourselves to show off?" Answer no... I'm far enough away that the lightning won't get me. Words like only, all, most, and always are not usually good to use when talking about motives other than your own.


Hey, I just got a new car! Of course, I only bought it so I could take pictures of it to post online.

Another "only". One buys a car for transport from A to B. Do tell me though, what's the difference in the odds of you posting the car picture if it was a Pinto vs a Ferrarri?

The whole point is if you truly do something strictly for yourself, there is no need to share it - your own satisfaction is the only necessary goal. As soon as you share it, there's at least a part of you that's saying Look at Me, Look what I have, Look _______. It's no longer strictly for yourself, it's seeking feedback, and very few of us human types go out of our way to seek negative feedback.

The obvious exception is a case like those showing half made up faces looking for help. I trust we know we're not talking about things such as this.


Who are two women dressing for?

The first is dressed as she is for enticement. I'm also sure her choice was twofold. One, because she feels sexy and attractive in it. Two, because of the effect it's sure to have on whoever she's looking at - for a variety of possible motives. At any rate, to say that you can find examples of how "women don't dress for other women", doesn't invalidate the existence of those that do. Wander the malls on a Friday afternoon in these parts, you'll see plenty of it. Imagine the picture without the come-hither look. Would that change anything in your interpretation?

Change the scene to a club. The dress is suitable for that environment, and she's with her SO. Why's she wearing that in particular? To be the hottest gal on the dance floor? For her ego? For his? To warn off other gals that she's got him covered? You can run the whole range of possible choices, and none of them are invalid, and all of which we've possibly experienced.


But I would say that the plaid dress woman is dressing for herself.

The only thing I can see is that she's wearing it because her modelling gig said she had to :) Would she look good going to a coffee meet with fellow PTA types? If she was in the mood for this dress, would she still wear it to the board meeting? You cannot say that you have never thought about your clothing choice for the day from the point of view of someone else - and leaving out the special case of your SO, count them up, what's the M/F ratio?

Lets say you've dressed, and have gone out, done your thing, and returned home. In each of these three scenarios:
- Nobody noticed you
- You were noticed by a guy that told you he liked what you were wearing
- You were noticed by a girl that told you she liked what you were wearing

Which one makes you feel better about the outfit that you were wearing? Certainly it's one of the bottom two, and I think the compliment about your CLOTHES would mean more to you coming from someone that probably knows more about clothes, so I'll guess that you'd be happiest should option 3 have been realized. If this is true, and given that we are creatures that seek acceptance and approval, are you sure can you be absolutely 100% certain that it wasn't a goal?

I hope you don't think that I'm trying to tell you, or anyone else, what you (or they) think, just trying to spark a little introspection, and realisation that life has no black or white in it, but always a little of both in a varying, and always fluctuating, mix.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Speaking as a TV, I first and foremost dress the way I do for myself and my own pleasure. To a lesser extent, I dress to "impress" ("impress" isn't quite the right word but it is the closest word I can think of) women and other TVs. I'd like to be known as a classy dresser and having an appropriately classy image, but primarily I just wear what I wear for myself.

I would love to dress up to please my significant other, but since I don't have a girlfriend much less one who would actually enjoy my dressing, alas, for me this is moot.

[dominique]

I dress for myself. But saying that I like to dress to show other people I'm a woman for that period of time.

[Satrana]

Unless the sexy sweater dress woman is a lesbian, if anyone thinks she dresses for other women, or even purely for herself, you have a lot to learn about women. She is definitely dressing for men

I don't agree Reine. I think what you are saying is true for most women where you live but it is not true for other areas. In many parts of the world women enjoy expressing femininity and sexiness daily in their presentation. Where I live strappy tops, 12 inch skirts and tube dresses are normal everyday wear. Femininity is actively enjoyed and celebrated.

Secondly I agree with Blaire's point that some women enjoy exuding femininity/sexuality just for themselves. It makes them feel good. They enjoy the attention, they enjoy the competition and oneupmanship. There are women who would wear the backless sweater dress to go shopping in the mall. They are not dressing for men, they just enjoy the look and lifestyle. Now granted the look was designed to attract men's attention but that does not mean this is the only reason why a woman would want to wear such a dress.

I also agree with Blaire that the "women dressing for other women" is being interpreted too strictly. Women dress to please themselves and only rarely on special occasions will they dress for a man. However women's dress code is referenced by what other women wear so there are elements of peer approval, fitting in and sometimes competition and copying. So women are picking their daily outfits partially based on how other women dress and are in turn pleased when other women compliment their appearance.

So in a loose sense women are dressing for other women. And the same is true of men. Men don't dress for women except on special occasions so their dress sense follows male trends. Men need to fit in within their work group and social setting so will copy what others are wearing. The main difference with men is that clothes are usually used as uniforms and not as expressions of individuality or sexuality. It is not designed to make you feel good about yourself.

[sometimes_miss]

The first part of my answer is, when crossdressing, I dress so that I feel my outfit is appropriate for who I am. Now, not that I'm delusional or anything, but personality/developmental wise, I'm kind of stuck self identifying as a young teen girl. So most of what I wear are things that represent that feeling. I don't go out crossdressed, and pretty much never look in the mirror, so take that for what it's worth.
Now, on who other people dress for. Women will deny they ever dress 'for' other women. Yet, no men give a rat's ass about designer names on clothes. Yet, a whole lot of women go to great lengths to buy designer name clothes and let other people know about it, either by displaying the designer's logo or making sure they mention it casually in discussion. I think that a lot of women DO dress in ways to make a statement, whether that statement is about sexual desirability, class, wealth, fashion knowledge and being up to date on what's currently in style, or in some cases, to show off jewelry that other people (usually men) have paid a lot of money for her to wear, to demonstrate her desirability to that man or men, perhaps to let everyone else know how much she is valued by the opposite sex. If there are any questions about whether people dress for others, perhaps compare what they wear in their own house when no one else is home or coming over, to how they appear when in public. I think in 99% of the cases, you'll find two completely different appearances. So the idea that women only dress for themselves is nonsense; when they know they'll be seen by other people, they always make an effort to look better than, say, when they're staying at home late at night alone, doing the laundry, which is when they are truly only dressing for themselves.

[Emma England]

I think both gg's and cd's dress for themselves.

[jenni_xx]

The question isn't so much about individual women's personalities. I think you'll get more accurate answers if you ask what are her motives when a woman wears particular items of clothing. Unless the sexy sweater dress woman is a lesbian, if anyone thinks she dresses for other women, or even purely for herself, you have a lot to learn about women. She is definitely dressing for men (edited to add: or for the man in her life). But I would say that the plaid dress woman is dressing for herself.

I'd like to tweak this even further. Could it not be argued that the woman in the sexy sweater dress she is ultimately dressing for herself? After all, isn't it (for want of a better word) an appeal to others (men) for ultimately her own benefit in that receiving positive responses from men would result in making her feel great about herself?

[linda allen]

Well, I'm "in the closet" so I dress for myself.

Photos I take are just for me, I wouldn't dare post them.

[Sara Jessica]

Real world observations. Women in their packs (cliques at work, my wife & her friends) will often comment within minutes, sometimes seconds, as to what the others are wearing. It could be an overall "what a cute outfit" to "I'm just loving those shoes".

It would be an over-generalization to say that all women dress for other women but I do get the premise based on the observations I've conveyed above. I'm certain many do, although the deeper motivations certainly vary.

I dress for myself in that I have been a keen observer of style as long as I can remember. So in trying to be in style and present as such, I am also dressing for others by default. I appreciate it when I'm on the receiving end of comments such as those I describe in the first paragraph, whether from women or others in the TG community. It tells me I'm doing something right, hopefully from a style standpoint.


Yet, no men give a rat's ass about designer names on clothes.

Many do, how else would you explain the popularity of brands such as Tommy Bahama, Ed Hardy, etc. Men's departments are full of "names" just as women's are. It's just that as a percentage, I'd guess that more women care than men. Still, plenty of men do care.

[Chari]

I too dress to satisfy me, for comfort, and to be noticed!

[MiamiMarie]

GG here.

We women mainly dress for ourselves unless we are specifically trying to entice men or trying to feel special among stylish or powerful women, but honestly, that is very rarely the case. Especially if you're not single going to night clubs or attending a formal tea or something.

[ReineD]

I'd like to tweak this even further. Could it not be argued that the woman in the sexy sweater dress she is ultimately dressing for herself? After all, isn't it (for want of a better word) an appeal to others (men) for ultimately her own benefit in that receiving positive responses from men would result in making her feel great about herself?

That's precisely my point. The woman in the sexy sweater dress feels better about herself when she receives positive responses from men (not women). She probably doesn't dress this way if she's spending an evening alone at home. And as Miamimarie pointed out, she likely doesn't dress like this when she's out grocery shopping, or if she attends a baby shower.

My other point is women who don't dress this way, don't seek men's (or her man's) positive, specifically sexual responses. Maybe they've been married for a long time, or they know their husbands are attracted to them for other reasons than their booties (for lack of a better term), or their focus is on their kids or their careers, for example. These are the women who do dress for themselves, whether it is in blue jeans or basic office attire.

I want to add there is nothing wrong with a woman dressing up in a sexy manner, wanting to please her man (or looking for a man if she's single). I try to appeal to my SO when I dress like this, or when I wear a pair of tight leggings (that shows off certain parts of my body :)) and heels with a sexy sweater.

Just let's not say that women who dress sexily don't have a man, (or men) in mind when they wear outfits like this. Because frankly, women don't look at other womens' behinds the same way that men do. :)

[Samantha_Smile]

I dress for me. To feel good about myself becuase I atleast think I look pretty.
Wheter I do or not is anyones guess and that's why I post pictures.

I have a rule that I only post pictures when I get an item or items that give me a drastically different appearance- clothes, wig, makeup trick.
And because I, like many, stay indoors en femme, I like to hear that I look pretty from other TGs (the ultimate compliments ofcourse come from GGs; lets face it were emulating them after all)

Ofcourse the fact that I dress to look good to me does beg the question
"Am I dressing to look good to me (the owner of a male brain), or to men in general"?
Well the answer is yes, but only in a world where marmite appeals to all men in general. :D

The point is were all different; some will dress to impress women, some to impress men. The ultimate goal is to impress both :daydreaming:

[docrobbysherry]

Of course, many of u DID get what I meant!
But, I never mind when the discussion is INTERESTING! Which I think it IS!:thumbsup:


That's what a woman said at a mixed function I was at last week. Someone mentioned women in very hi-heels. A guy said, "They wear those for men!"
Then, a woman responded with my TITLE LINE above!:eek:

Whether or NOT that's tru, I wondered who CDs dress up for? Those of u that DO dress up, that is!?:)

As a closet CD, I dress up for MYSELF! Then, I may post my pics in the vain hope that OTHER'S mite like them. But, whether they DO or DON'T, I assemble my looks to suit MYSELF!:brolleyes:

Those of u that dress up, WHY do u do it? For yourself? For other CDs? For men or GGs?
Curious minds want to KNOW!:straightface:

I was trying to ask about those of u that "DRESS UP" especially FANCY! EXTRA NICE! Not regular everyday dressing. That's why I used the "very hi-heels" analogy.:)
It's NOT about u dressing to "blend" or for your "comfort". It's about dressing to STAND OUT on purpose!

If, and when U dress up like that, WHO IS IT FOR?:battingeyelashes:

[Satrana]

That's precisely my point. The woman in the sexy sweater dress feels better about herself when she receives positive responses from men (not women). Why would she not be receiving compliments from women too? Everytime my wife wears something sexy and revealing all the women she meets makes her outfit a big topic of conversation not just a polite openner. And she wears sexy clothes whether I am with her or not so its not for my benefit and usually she only goes out with female friends.

Are we not forgetting that most women are eager to attend any event that gives them the opportunity to dress up and have fun doing so. Cocktail dresses for example are often very sexy and revealing and yet many women attending a cocktail party do so without their partners. They are not seeking male attention and most will not get it either. Many men will not compliment a women on her outfit either because this is not something they are interested in talking about, or are committed or they do not want to be accused of sexist remarks. Mostly it is men on the game that will compliment.

If women only wore sexy clothes with men in mind then happily married women going out without their partner would never dress up. Go to any bar/club/event and you would see that is not correct.

I believe many women enjoy feeling good by wearing sexy clothes. They enjoy knowing that they are presenting a sexy image and are considered sexy by everyone (men and women) they meet. It is not different than getting a new hairstyle and feeling good because it makes you look more sexy.

I think this topic also touches upon a person's level of self confidence and upbringing. Women are often taught when young to avoid looking sexy because bad things will happen to them if they do.

[JennaR]

Tell me this: If women only dress for themselves why is the fashion industry a multi billion dollar industry. The fact remains that 99% of guy's don't know or care if it's a designer dress, purse, shoe, all we really care about is if it catches our eye:devil:so, the only people that even realize what your wearing is other women (ok there are plenty of men who can but thats's not the normal)??????

[ReineD]

Are we not forgetting that most women are eager to attend any event that gives them the opportunity to dress up and have fun doing so. Cocktail dresses for example are often very sexy and revealing and yet many women attending a cocktail party do so without their partners. They are not seeking male attention and most will not get it either.

Satrana, why do you think that a woman will choose a low cut dress revealing cleavage, or a dress with a slit that is strategically placed, or one whose fabric will show her derriere to its fullest advantage? :) There are attractive and stylish clothing that do not do these things.

Yes, there are married women who go to restaurants and cocktail parties who are not looking for men. It doesn't mean they don't know precisely who notices them when they wear particular outfits, and more importantly, who appreciates the outfit in a particular way. Some outfits send clear signals, while others do not.

We can debate this forever, and it is difficult without comparing pictures of specific outfits, but I hope that people reading this thread will understand the difference between what you and I are both describing.

As to women who notice these sexy outfits, do you know what I think when I notice, or what it is that makes me notice? "Wow, I wish I looked like that too!", not "Wow, I'd like to know what she's like, or what she's wearing underneath." :D

[Sarah Doepner]

Doc,

I dress for the guy who is hiding behind the girl clothes when I get dressed. Huh??? I am a male and the clothing I pick out to dress in are chosen first to appeal to that me as a guy. Regardless of the situation, blending or standing out, the first choice must be one that the guy under the wig thought would be nice on his evil twin sister. Once I'm dressed I begin the process of improving the look so it will be acceptable to a woman. When all is said and done, I have no desire to intentionally attract a man's attention but I would like to draw a woman's approval.

Does that kind of approach what you are looking for?

[kristinacd55]

That's definitely true in some cases....not all but many do.

[SusieB]

I dress to feel comfortable and feminine and to look feminine. But then I am in the closet and am absolutely certain that NO one and I mean NO one would look at me in a dress and consider me feminine. So I dress for myself. But, if I had the opportunity to dress in the company of others, I think my focus would be on looking attractive (not attracting). In these circumstances I believe I would feel better if the people in my company were comfortable because I was dressed appropriately. I suppose it all comes down to what you want from the particular occasion for which you are dressing.

But then what do I know.

[Christy_M]

I think people dress for their own self esteem. whether it is GG, CD or GM. I want to feel good about my look. The clothes I wear give me a boost to my self esteem. Wen I dress in male clothes for work, I feel good about my presentation becasue I want people to see me as confident and capable of doing the job I am assigned. When I wear a dress and heels, I want to feel good about presenting as a woman. I want others to see me as confident in who I am. I guess this means I dress for me but the ultimate goal is to shape people's perceptions of me to fit my own needs of acceptance.

[WifeofWrenchette]

As a GG, I dress for myself, in basically whatever is the most comfortable.

[lingerieLiz]

I have talked about this with women on occasion. Usually after a day of shopping. Someone in the group will always say that women dress for women. After a couple of drinks it is decided there are too many reasons why women dress the way they do to categorize. Women do dress for women especially when attending a primarily women’s function where all will be dressed up. Other than that we could create a whole new discussion board just to resolve the issue.


I dress like most women because it is ingrained. I just identify with the clothes. I don’t know why or care anymore. In my youth I had a very nice wardrobe of very cute outfits. From there I have migrated through various fashion phases as fashions and age dictated. Today I enjoy wearing comfortable clothes most of the time. I also enjoy wearing pretty outfits on special occasions. My general attire fits in with what women around me wear. As I have gotten older comfortable has taken over most of the time as it has for most women. That doesn’t mean I don’t wear fashionable clothes.

[Satrana]

It doesn't mean they don't know precisely who notices them when they wear particular outfits, and more importantly, who appreciates the outfit in a particular way. Yes I know women are aware that certain designs were developed to catch a man's eye but where you and I disagree is whether a women can wear such an outfit and enjoy its sexiness without needing or wanting to please men.

If a woman wears such a sexy dress and only attends a dinner with her girlfriends and ignores everyone else then how can you claim she is dressing up with men in mind? Even yesterday while in the mall I saw a woman with a very similar top with the big scooped back and I thought of this thread. If you love clothes enough then you would wear what you liked irregardless.

Many women love dressing up but have to wait for an event that gives them permission to do so without being condemned. Western culture inhibits women from dressing up whenever they should wish but not all women follow the rules and not all cultures have such an inhibition.



As to women who notice these sexy outfits, do you know what I think when I notice, or what it is that makes me notice? "Wow, I wish I looked like that too!", not "Wow, I'd like to know what she's like, or what she's wearing underneath." :D You think some women don't want to get both reactions? They want to be considered sexy by both men (desire) and women (jealousy). They enjoy the power trip.

And Jenna has a great point. Why would a woman drop hundreds of dollars on designer dress, designer handbag, designer shoes if men (excepting gays and CDs) don't have a clue what these items are. It is the look of the outfit not the name that interests men. So women buy designer labels solely to show off to other women.

A good analogy would be a guy who buys a flashy sports car. Does that mean every time he drives it he does so because he wants female adoration. Or can he enjoy the sports car as a thing of beauty which he enjoys to drive irregardless of who may see him in it?

[Kaz]

My daughter is in her last year at University doing fashion design. She tries to design clothes that look and feel great - different, but just fabulous.

When I dress en femme it is for me primarily. I went through a pahse when I wanted to go out and blend, and then I dressed to fit in (i.e. mirror what other are wearing).

When I am not trying to blend in (your point maybe Doc) I dress to look and feel good, and experiment with what it looks like and how I feel.

I do not feel this way on "drab" mode. I have been dressing strictly utilitarian. However, I have recently noticed some interesting menswear and have been attracted to dressing interestingly in male mode. Is this for me or to express my masculinity? I think it is because I just like the look!

When we had the albums, I liked to get feedback on what I was doing, because I was seeking reassurance about going out and blending. Now that's gone, I do it for me and don't much care about going out and all that. So Doc, maybe the big oufits will be the next thing! :)

[Shananigans]

That's precisely my point. The woman in the sexy sweater dress feels better about herself when she receives positive responses from men (not women).

Hmm...idk...she got a positive response from me. Lesbians/bis dress sexy too... I think it's safer to say that women may be dressing sexy just to evoke sexual thoughts in general.

When I am dressing sexy...I do it for sex appeal in general. Sex appeal for myself (when I feel sexy, I usually feel more in the mood), for other women (to make them want me, or want to look like me), and for men (to wish they had me).

[TammyPA]

I use to say"I dress for confort not for speed", now that I have lost 30+ lbs I am changing that a little. Another 20 to go.

[Pythos]

Who do I dress for?

Me. :)

But I also dress in some kind of effort to attract a woman that likes men, but is not afraid of being attracted to the feminine image. Yes, odd, I know. I guess the kind of woman I would attract is a bisexual woman. Or at least a very open and secure woman that knows what she likes, and does not care what others think.

It helps that all the clothing I wear I find comfortable, yes even the corset :) If I didn't, I simply would not wear them.

The sports car analogy is perfect. I had and loved my mustang because it was an awesome machine. There was no sex appeal to that monster, it was fit for one thing. Being loud and going fast. I had no intention of attracting women with what some guys would call a "chick magnet". Nope, I just loved how the beast looked and acted. *sigh* I miss it.

I love my catsuits because of how they look and feel. I think they make me look pretty good if I do say so myself. They exude confidence just by the mere act of getting into it. Do I wear them to attract men, or women? Nope. Thought it is fun to hear a GUY say, "I wish I had your build to wear something like that" Yes I have gotten that very line from a very straight male friend of mine. When it come to women, I hope I inspire them to have the mindset "if he can wear that, then so can I!!" LOL. That would be too cool, if they did it with taste.

[Jenniferx1]

[QUOTE=Blaire;2297455]Coutner question for ya Doc! If you dress strictly for yourself, and yourself only, why do you post pics in the name of vanity? /QUOTE]

Doc, I wouldn't presume to speak for you, but I'd like a stab at this.

Blaire, are you implying that we dress up only to post pics of ourselves? Taking pictures is done for many reasons (shall I list?), and posting them is an afterthought.




I dressed up before I took pics, and I took pics long before the internet. Yes, I like to share my pics, especially with other cd's. Nothing wrong with a little feedback, and getting a little recognition for my efforts. I have many more pics than I have posted. Before archiving my pics digitally, I maintained a scrapbook.
I also like to see pics of other cd's. And don't question their motives for posting them.

Hey, I just got a new car! Of course, I only bought it so I could take pictures of it to post online.

Totally agree with you Nicole, I like to get feedback from other Cd`s regardless of positivity. I dress to try and impress my GG. Perhaps my vanity is poor, I feel there is no bigger compliment than a positive response from a woman.

Just an opinion!!! :brolleyes:

[ReineD]

Yes I know women are aware that certain designs were developed to catch a man's eye ...
If a woman wears such a sexy dress and only attends a dinner with her girlfriends and ignores everyone else then how can you claim she is dressing up with men in mind?

It is an ego boost, as you say, but if she wears an outfit like that, she will want to appeal primarily to the guys, even if she has no intention of hooking up with anyone. She knows that women (unless they are lesbian or bi) will not react to the dress the same way a guy will. I also don't think she'd dress the same way should she go to strictly a women's affair and goes straight home afterwards.



You think some women don't want to get both reactions? They want to be considered sexy by both men (desire) and women (jealousy). They enjoy the power trip.

Precisely. :) But although the sexy dresser will know that she does get reactions from both, when there are men present, it is the sexual response (desire) from men that she's after. If there are no men in the room, most women there will not experience the same type of jealousy. There's no need to establish the same sexiness pecking order when the men are not present who will experience the desire (including the less sexy woman's date or partner who will notice the sexy dresser). Some women might still feel envious though, but about other things ... body weight, youth, or the price of the outfit, etc, but a woman can be envious without seeing boob, leg, and a$$.



And Jenna has a great point. Why would a woman drop hundreds of dollars on designer dress, designer handbag, designer shoes if men (excepting gays and CDs) don't have a clue what these items are. It is the look of the outfit not the name that interests men. So women buy designer labels solely to show off to other women.


I've worn designer outfits and I do think that generally the cut is nicer, the fabrics flow better, they do enhance the body and contribute to an overall sexier look (independent of the style), so even if a guy has no clue how much the outfit costs, he will appreciate the overall look (and will even appreciate it more if the outfit shows boobs, leg, or a$$).


Hmm...idk...she got a positive response from me. Lesbians/bis dress sexy too... I think it's safer to say that women may be dressing sexy just to evoke sexual thoughts in general.

Yeah, but you're bi! :) I think I mentioned in the original post with pics that unless the sexy sweater dress is a lesbian (I forgot to mention bi), she is dressing to appeal to men. I'm strictly hetero (except for my SO), and there's just no way I would have the same thoughts about that woman as a guy would. :)

----------------------------

To everyone: by making the points I've made, I'm suggesting that if the CDers who do dress suggestively or sexily (show boob, leg, or a$$), or however you want to put it (more than just blend) are not aware of their appeal to men, then they should. It is the men who will react to these outfits a certain way (if the CDer does go out this way, or posts the pics) ... not the women. :) And as I said earlier, it does boggle my mind that some CDers don't realize this.

[Shananigans]

Yeah, but you're bi! :) I think I mentioned in the original post with pics that unless the sexy sweater dress is a lesbian (I forgot to mention bi), she is dressing to appeal to men. I'm strictly hetero (except for my SO), and there's just no way I would have the same thoughts about that woman as a guy would. :)

----------------------------

To everyone: by making the points I've made, I'm suggesting that if the CDers who do dress suggestively or sexily (show boob, leg, or a$$), or however you want to put it (more than just blend) are not aware of their appeal to men, then they should. It is the men who will react to these outfits a certain way (if the CDer does go out this way, or posts the pics) ... not the women. :) And as I said earlier, it does boggle my mind that some CDers don't realize this.

Yeah, but a large part of the female population is either L or B. But, I mean, even straight girls do it...think about the magazines that are targeted to women. Pick up an issue of Cosmopolitan...look at the ads and count how many scantily clad women are in there. In that case, they are dressed scantily to get a woman to buy a product...but, the fact is that they are using the sex appeal to get the attention of the reader. And, you can't tell me that you've never been going to a party and you want to be the hottest girl in the room. Isn't that dressing for other women to some aspect...if only a competitive aspect?

I agree completely with your last statement. Dressing sexily is going to gain attention from EVERYONE. When a girl walks into a party wearing next to nothing and looking like a ho...what do all the other girls do? Get in a group and talk sh*t about her. But, I wonder...do CDs dress this way to seek this attention from men on some subconscious level? What's more feminine than passing so well as a woman that another man wants you? Not saying that this CD is bi or gay...just saying that we do things for attention that are pretty weird and we may not know the exact root of WHY we are doing what we are doing.

[ReineD]

But, I mean, even straight girls do it...think about the magazines that are targeted to women. Pick up an issue of Cosmopolitan...look at the ads and count how many scantily clad women are in there. In that case, they are dressed scantily to get a woman to buy a product...but, the fact is that they are using the sex appeal to get the attention of the reader.

That's because a woman recognizes when another woman is hot enough to appeal to the guys, and the mags' selling point is to show the women how to do this! :)



And, you can't tell me that you've never been going to a party and you want to be the hottest girl in the room. Isn't that dressing for other women to some aspect...if only a competitive aspect?

When I dress to make a man melt, it is to appeal to my SO (well, his guy side). I've worn short dresses clubbing that hug my derriere and emphasize my boobs, with thigh high boots, but I don't dress this way when I go out alone or with girl friends. I even went alone to this club a few years ago to see the drag show, and there was no way I was going to dress like that. If I were single though, I would.

I think the competitive aspect with other women does exist ... it's the pecking order I described earlier, but what's there to compete over when there are no guys in the room? It's hard to have this conversation without having specific outfits to look at and compare, but I do honestly believe that outfits emphasizing boobs, leg, & a$$ (sorry if this is so repetitive) are designed for men and not other women, unless of course the wearer is lesbian or bi, appealing to other lesbians and bis.

Would a woman wear sexy lingerie for another woman if she is hetero? No.

Edit
Getting back to my main point, are the CDers who post pics of themselves in lingerie or ultra sexy outfits on Flickr, or have suggestive poses in bed, appealing to hetero women? I don't think so. Who will notice the lingerie and the poses? The men (and other CDs). Are the CDers aware there will be more that just CDs who also appreciate the art of CDing, who will oggle the pics? I don't know, it's up to them to say.

When Docrobbysherry asks whether CDs are dressing for men or women, I assume she meant the sexier outfits, not every day wear, or even the more conservative evening wear:


I was trying to ask about those of u that "DRESS UP" especially FANCY! EXTRA NICE! Not regular everyday dressing. That's why I used the "very hi-heels" analogy.:)
It's NOT about u dressing to "blend" or for your "comfort". It's about dressing to STAND OUT on purpose!

[Jennie1975]

When I plan on going out, I try to dress like a gg my age would dress. In the same breath I dress how the guy in me likes to see women my age dressed. Granted I tend to play up my "breast" and my assets. *wink* yet I don't want to be the center of attention for the fact that I would be caught so to speak. That being said I dress for both of me! Lol

[tamarav]

I have heard this statement many times over the years in my outings. It appears that women dress to impress each other since all men can really see is an apparent female and just go from there.

Women notice each other, sort of like checking out the competition at every turn. Men enjoy seeing women in virtually any clothing, "they" seem to have rampant imaginations...

[Pythos]

So here is a question.

Why don't women like to see guys in clothing that shows their bodies. Why do some go all catty about a guy that has the guts to wear tight "bum hugging " pants, or even a tight skirt. Even though my experience has been relatively good, I have read women's comments on other guy's that have tried this.

Google and read the reactions to skirts for men, or leggings for men. There are some truly ignorant and sexist statements that are made. What brings this about?

On a slightly different note. Following the idea that women dress sexy purely to attract men, and then stop doing such once they have attracted one and gotten hitched, then with that, men that wear fancy suits to show power, should start dressing like bums once they have acquired a wife. LOL

[docrobbysherry]

When Docrobbysherry asks whether CDs are dressing for men or women, I assume she meant the sexier outfits, not every day wear, or even the more conservative evening wear:

Yes, I did! However, please ignore what I said there! At this point the thread is going in a different direction! :brolleyes:

Which is FINE with me! Because there r so many interesting, and valid perspectives to the, "Why do they dress that way?", question?:)

[ReineD]

Why don't women like to see guys in clothing that shows their bodies. Why do some go all catty about a guy that has the guts to wear tight "bum hugging " pants, or even a tight skirt. Even though my experience has been relatively good, I have read women's comments on other guy's that have tried this.

Women do like to see raw power in a guy, but with a masculine flavor. Women kinda notice how firm all those football players' a$$es are, for example. :) And if you've seen the iconic Marlboro Man images, the clothes reveal a powerful build underneath: wide shoulders, trim abs, strong legs. Have you ever seen the ads for the male strip shows targeted for women? The guys have powerful builds, are shirtless and wear very tight pants. They look masculine. Uniforms seem to be popular. And leather. :D Look through these sites:

http://www.hwmen.com/
http://www.manhattanmen.com/
http://www.labarehollywood.com/

[Pythos]

PPPPPPPPppppppth to those masculine uniforms. LOL

The cowboy look. Geez that is such a dated and homo erotic look.

As far as the football players, that is another story. They are essentially wearing modified Leggings on the field. :)

So why is it usually guys are in shapeless and baggy clothing. And you say a masculine edge. What makes it masculine though. That is the key is it not?

[ReineD]

So why is it usually guys are in shapeless and baggy clothing.

*sigh* I know. I don't get why they want to hide all their assets either. You know .... there's a reverse situation here. CDs bemoan the women who walk around wearing shapeless Ts, sweat tops, and sweat pants with sneakers. I also wish that more men would pay attention to their looks, and move beyond the baseball cap, huge shapeless T-shirts, and baggy jeans that would show their butt cracks if they weren't wearing boxers. :p



And you say a masculine edge. What makes it masculine though. That is the key is it not?

I think the build has a lot to do with it. These guys have muscular arms and wide chests. It's apparent that they work out. Notice how the male strippers all have shaved chests though? But even if the pants are tight, they are styled more like jeans than leggings and remember, they dress like this for the show. I don't see a lot of guys walking around town dressed like this.

I think what turns off the more gender conservative women is when a guy wear something that other guys might find 'sissy' looking, or effeminate.

[Barbara Dugan]

I did overlook this thread before, very interesting ...but on my particular case I dress the way I do to attract men. It always puzzled me because I think what image or particular way of dressing will be of interest to a guy but I really never been attracted to girls.

[Shananigans]

The cowboy look. Geez that is such a dated and homo erotic look.

Whaaaaaat? I'm going to have to get after you on this one.

Nothing looks better than a guy in some a$$ hugging Levis. So, that shoots that theory that women don't like "bum hugging" pants down all together. Because, I certainly love it and so do most of the GG's I know.

Oh, to everyone...I live in Alabama, if you couldn't tell.

Cough.

[Pythos]

Reine,

I think the reason why is very simple.

Men who where clothing that shows their shapes are also derided in some manner. They get called gay (in my case with my leggings which do show my leg build, my mom calls them fairy pants). or mentally unstable, or fashion victims. You have fashionistas putting guys down for wearing skinny jeans. Just type into google "men in leggings" or "men in skinny jeans", or similar. The insults and ignorance is astounding. Many of these statements are from women.

It is easier for guys to wear shapeless and baggy clothing, so they don't have to worry about their physique....like women need to.

It is mostly one sided and sexist. One thing that has helped me keep my weight down is my catsuits. Honestly. There is little worse than an overweight beer gutted dude in a catsuit :)

As far as those gender conservative women are concerned, get over it. Women wear stuff that should only be worn by men, and they don't get such vitrol from men, in general. All they do is support the "women are weaker and worth less than men" when they go along with the homophobic guys calling the guys in the "sissy" stuff, Gay.

My stuff is not sissy, but to homophobes it is exactly that mearly because it is what women wear.

[Satrana]

I've worn designer outfits and I do think that generally the cut is nicer, the fabrics flow better, they do enhance the body and contribute to an overall sexier look While this may be true, women primarily buy designer labels for the label itself. It is about the exclusivity and bragging rights. That's why designer labels get away with gigantic profit margins. Having involvement in garment production I can tell you that the better materials and styling only add a few dollars onto the production cost. The other day my wife found a bag she really liked and wanted to but it but as she examined it more closely she realized that the designer label was only embossed into the leather and was largely invisible. She lamented there was no point in buying it and put it back.


And as I said earlier, it does boggle my mind that some CDers don't realize this. That's because you are coming at this from the GG angle. Let me give you the GM angle. When men look at women they undress them in their mind. Women do not need to wear sexy clothes, so long as they are tight the body shape is still revealed and the man uses his imagination to fill in the rest. All a revealing dress does so give men direct visual feedback without needing to engage the imagination. Now the last thing a heterosexual man is going to do is undress another man. Due to the inherent homophobia in male culture, most men would actually get annoyed if their undressing program in their head gets tripped by a sexy outfit but then realize that is a man and so the program is brought to a screeching halt.

So male CDs can wear sexy clothes knowing that other heterosexual men are not going to be turned on by the clothes. When CDs are in emulation mode, they are really in a fantasy world where they imagine themselves to be GGs. So the power trip they are seeking to capture is the feelings of men desiring women not men desiring a man in a dress. That's why passing is important to most CDs. They are trying to capture the dynamics that surround GGs but know deep down that their male body will inevitably intervene.

[Pythos]

Satrana,

Speak for yourself. I do not undress women with my mind. Oh my God what an over statement.

There are times that yea, I may, but not women that are complete strangers.

At Folsom Fair my lady friend was wearing on of my catsuits, and I have to admit, I was following her curves as she walked in front of me. I was curious what she had chosen to wear under it, since this was her first time in one. Was I mentally undresseing her? OH YES. LOL. But that is because I have feelings for her, and we are friends. There were many beautiful women at that fair all in quite revealing oufits, and I did not mentally undress them. Their outfits ranged from enticing to blea. LOL.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I dress up for me and how i want. I love long dresses and skirts and i dont care if they are not the trend or not. i've had women (gg's) come up to me and say "thats a beautiful dress". its a big apraisal in my opinion.

[Satrana]

There are times that yea, I may, but not women that are complete strangers.

Yes I should have clarified that it is women which men are interested in that will be undressed. So your individual take on sexuality will determine which women you consider desirable and will be undressed in your mind. Unless you are a sex addict then most women you meet will not be mentally undressed.

[sometimes_miss]

I wrote: Yet, no men give a rat's ass about designer names on clothes.

Then:

Many do, how else would you explain the popularity of brands such as Tommy Bahama, Ed Hardy, etc. Men's departments are full of "names" just as women's are. It's just that as a percentage, I'd guess that more women care than men. Still, plenty of men do care.
I've never heard a man mention who's suit he's wearing, shoe brand, or anything else for that matter in my 50 years on earth. The closest you get are guys who wear Rolex's and wear them to be seen. Yet I know three doctors who own and wear Patek Phillipe watches, who never mention it. You will also see men's clothing with the labels made to be removed after purchase (this doesn't include the various logo things like Polo, etc, where the logo is permanantly in the garment). I stand by my initial comment, and when a guy goes into a store for clothes, he's looking for (sorry, but thanks to Bobby Slayton on this one) clothes that make him look cool. Doesn't matter what brand it is, as long as it looks the way we want, and of course, fits. You don't usually see men wearing uncomfortable clothing or shoes that are going to make our feet ache at the end of a night. And, I defy you to pick out each name brand of men's penny loafers out of a set of 10 and name who made them (Unless, of course, you're into feet or a shoe salesman). But women all know who makes what shoes, how expensive each pair is, who owns which ones, and want each other to know it, too (Same with handbags). Men don't care if you bought your shoes for $5 at the BOGO sale at payless, as long as they make your legs and butt look good (again, unless the guy is into feet). What percentage of guys can look at a pair of women's shoes and be able to tell you who made them? <1%, I'll betcha. Same with women's clothing; but the WOMEN know! So, who are those women wearing those expensive shoes and clothes for? And don't tell me it's because the $1000 Manolo whatevers are so much more comfortable than the Kmart shoes (there are comfortable and uncomfortable shoes of all prices), I've seen plenty of rich women taking their shoes off under the tables at social events just like the women who wear cheap footwear.