I somewhat confused

[Tara1967]

After reading a thread a few months back and came across a couple of lines I became confused. But there was a debate going on about do CD's think of being with men when dress. Well there were many posters that said that when they are in guy mode they are attracted to women, then said when they were dressed, that they were also a straight female. Then would that mean that while dressed, they are attracted to males, just like a straight female??

[Rianna Humble]

As far as I can tell, your interpretation is exactly right. Some people are hetero in either gender presentation.

I'm not one of them. So far,my transition has not changed my orientation so when pretending to be a male, I was regarded as hetero even though I could never envisage myself in the husband/boyfriend role in a sexual relationship. Now I am classed as homosexual, which was probably always true to the extent that we look at who I am inside not what my birth defect makes me appear to be.

[Kate Simmons]

Evidently Hon.:)

[LitaKelley]

I'm attracted to women regardless of whether I'm in drab or dressed. If I were to transition, I suppose I'd be considered a lesbian

[Kathi Lake]

I'm straight however I present - I like women. Even when I am dressed as one, I am not one. That's one reason I dress a little "prudish" - I don't want to attract the "non-fairer" sex.

:)

Kathi

[tricia_uktv]

I am what I am in either sex. Does it matter? Have to admit I'm also confused though

[AKAMichelle]

Some people believe that, but not me. I think the only way that happens is if the person is bi-sexual or gay in the first place. Some gays try to deny their sexuality as much as we do the fact that we are cd'ers.

[Barbara Dugan]

I think the issue is extremely complex , to the grade that none of the answers are absolutely right or wrong. I have the same thinking of Michelle when I am defining myself..now my therapist think different .. because most of my life I never had attraction to women or men nor even on the hormonal teen years and always questioned my gender identity since child but tried to conform to what society expected from me.
Since I was internally on gender limbo so next thing was to be in orientation as well so I was asexual most of my life... only when I could express a feminine side I could unlock my sexual orientation.
Now I have no problem having sex with the right guy and I think my emotions are evolved to have a more emotional connections with guys and for the first time in my life I feel like I am capable of loving a be loved something I never felt before.

[prene]

I agree with Barbara.
Very complex.
When I am dressed I . . . have looked at guys.

Sometimes I dress for them also.
I want to see if I can get a rise?

[Beth Wilde]

I'm attracted to men in either role, never really been attracted to women, though I do like other TV/CDs!

[Rachel Mari]

I'm only attracked to women. I have thought it might be nice to be escorted by a man, as a friend, but no interest otherwise.

[kimdl93]

I have the same sexual orientation, regardless of how I'm dressed. Oddly, my few experiences with men occurred when I was in male mode.

[joannemarie barker]

I'm pretty honest In that I fancy both men and women in either mode :)

[Emily Ann Brown]

What does it matter? Learn to love yourself, and be honest with those you are with.

Em

[Rhonda Jean]

I'm not trying to speak for any of those who indicated they might be attracted to men, but here's how I read that.

While I have no doubt that there are those who are exactly that way, (kind of a "I only smoke when I drink" thing), I suspect that for most it's just an admission of a harmless titalating fantasy, not something inextricably wired into their psyche.

Hey! Gives me an idea for a new thread!

[Lynn Marie]

I'm pretty partial to the fairer sex no matter what mode I'm in. It makes me laugh that I'm actually considered more attractive to certain women dressed than in drab! How nutty.

[ginafaye]

just my wife,but i can look at other women ,it seems i look just as much as what they are wearing anymore as there looks

[AndreaS]

Well, for some, being with a man while dressed kind of "completes" the whole female experience. So when you're dressed and acting as a woman, being with a man and fulfilling your womanly duties is a way of experiencing the entirety of being a woman. I know I'm not into other men when not dressed, but when I'm fully presenting myself in feminine form, it can be a rewarding experience to be viewed as a desirable female by someone of the male gender.

[Kathi Lake]

. . . and fulfilling your womanly duties . . . Womanly duties?! Is there a smiley character for stunned?!

Kathi

[MichelleL]

I have always thought that my actual self is a lesbian in a man's body.

[eluuzion]

Hmmmm, a couple thoughts popped into my mind after reading your "question". The first was my typical amazement at the creative abilities of the human mind. We are capable of redefining, modifying, enhancing, denying, twisting, diluting, excusing, forgiving, defending, distorting, dismissing, rationalizing, minimizing, explaining, masking and molding damn near any behavior or actions we want to engage in...in such a manner that we can justify our behavior to ourselves and others that it is "OK" to do it.

Let's take smoking..

I quit smoking a couple years ago. Now the only time I smoke is when I want a cigarette...:heehee:

Self denial and self-deception...tools in every human's toolbox...

"Who's On First" video clip...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfmvkO5x6Ng

:love:

[docrobbysherry]

MANY CDs fantasize about being with a man when dressed. Because they FEEL like a woman and that's what women DO! :battingeyelashes:
( Been there, done that!)

However, few will actually try having sex with a man because they're NOT attracted to men! Some, probably DO TRY IT, then figure out it's NOT they're thing!:eek:

I think if they continue to enjoy sex with men and women, they must be attracted to both and r probably bi!

[Lynn Marie]

Hmmmm, a couple thoughts popped into my mind after reading your "question". The first was my typical amazement at the creative abilities of the human mind. We are capable of redefining, modifying, enhancing, denying, twisting, diluting, excusing, forgiving, defending, distorting, dismissing, rationalizing, minimizing, explaining, masking and molding damn near any behavior or actions we want to engage in...in such a manner that we can justify our behavior to ourselves and others that it is "OK" to do it.

Let's take smoking..

I quit smoking a couple years ago. Now the only time I smoke is when I want a cigarette...:heehee:

Self denial and self-deception...tools in every human's toolbox...

"Who's On First" video clip...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfmvkO5x6Ng

:love:

Wow, now that was funny. There's just no end to your imagination is there.

[Heather Daniels]

Womanly duties?! Is there a smiley character for stunned?!

Kathi

Wow...great minds think alike. I was thinking the very same thing.

[Nicola2876]

I'm attracted to men and women but don't want to have gay sex with a man much in the same way I'm not that interested in being the man in a male and female relationship. Ideally, if I were to be with a man then it would be as a woman.

[rosuto]

If your attracted to the same sex, then that would make you gay or bi. If you just have sexual fantasies of being with the same sex, then thats just an idea. You don't have to be attracted to someone to have sex with them. And saying that thinking about men is what women do is like saying lesbians aren't really women. Remember, gender has nothing to do with a person's sexuality.

[Tara1967]

If your attracted to the same sex, then that would make you gay or bi. If you just have sexual fantasies of being with the same sex, then thats just an idea. You don't have to be attracted to someone to have sex with them. And saying that thinking about men is what women do is like saying lesbians aren't really women. Remember, gender has nothing to do with a person's sexuality.
I know what gay is and bi is. My confusion was just as what I put at the top of the page. My original question was "IF" you're a cd, are you attracted to men when in cd mode? I have read where some say they are a straight man when in man mode, but then say they are a straight woman when in girl mode. My confusion was when they are dressed and say they are a straight female, then at that time are they attracted to men, just like a straight woman. I didn't need a lecture here about what is bi or gay, but does the mind tranform also when we are dressed. Just when some would say that dressed they are a straight female?

[PuniPuni]

Hmmm, I think I'm like that. When I'm in my feminine mode, what I want more than anything is some big strong guy to cuddle with. But when I'm in masculine mode, I want some dainty little thing to snuggle up to.

The equal ground is where I am now. I'd like to date some strong independent type who is also caring and considerate... and likes to cuddle. <3

[rosuto]

I know what gay is and bi is. My confusion was just as what I put at the top of the page. My original question was "IF" you're a cd, are you attracted to men when in cd mode? I have read where some say they are a straight man when in man mode, but then say they are a straight woman when in girl mode. My confusion was when they are dressed and say they are a straight female, then at that time are they attracted to men, just like a straight woman. I didn't need a lecture here about what is bi or gay, but does the mind tranform also when we are dressed. Just when some would say that dressed they are a straight female?

Let me try being a little less straight forward in answering your question. When people crossdress, they usually become more aware of certain things that they usually don't pay attention to. This heighten state of awareness might lead to some CDs noticing things that they usually don't pick up when in guy mode, i.e attraction to other men. The attraction to men is always is always there, whether or not the person decides to act on this attraction is up to them.

Now if this is still way off from what you are trying to get at, then please change your orginal question so it contains the "IF" that you are talking about.

[Samantha43]

I'm attracted to genetic females only. When I'm dressed and presenting as a female, I'm still a guy in a skirt and heels. My desires don't change.

I quit trying to figure it all out years ago.

[KellyK]

I am bi, so it doesnt matter which frame of mind or dress I am in, I like both!

[Nancie64]

I do know that when in female mode, I am still only attracted to the females around me. I like the femine feeling when dressed, but I look at other women to check out their clothes, make up, hair, and whatever. Sometimes it helps me to be more on the female side. I like the skirts and heels just like Samantha43. I will wear jeans when I happen to get the chance to go out in public but will put on the skirts if I can.

[Vickie_CDTV]

As I understand it, some feel more open or comfortable with the idea of being with a male if they are dressed; I guess it makes the idea "less gay" for a man who otherwise wants to be identified as straight, as a friend once said.

Personally, I like what I like whether I am dressed or not (GGs), and being dressed is an extension of my male sexuality.

[Aprilrain]

My understanding is that genetic males sexual preference is set i.e. gay, bi, hetero but men can and do have sex with almost anything! because of or in spite of their stated personal preference (prison). Since most of us on this site are transgendered (I use the word inclusively) it would make sense that some of us are perhaps more female in that sense than the average male and therefore more fluid in are sexual preference. I personally am attracted to females (I watch them all day long) but have always thought of my self as a heterosexual woman in any sexual encounter real or fantasy. I have always been jealous of the women I have been with. I wanted to be them! (no not because I think I am all that). So obviously I've spent the better part of my life trying to figure out if I am gay. I have recently decided that I can be what ever the hell I want to be (I know it took awhile) and to hell with society's classifications. You can call me what you want. Anyway if you think your confused try being one of those cross-dressers! FREAKS!

[cdxxtv4u]

I only feel comfortable being with a man when I am dressed,the thought of being with a man as a man is distasteful, even though I totally enjoy it when dressed. Am I gay in deniel??

[sallyjones]

i think that if you are gay or bi that it dosent matter if you with a man if your straight that you wouldnt be with a man. i think its ok, but some dont.

[ReineD]

I know what gay is and bi is. My confusion was just as what I put at the top of the page. My original question was "IF" you're a cd, are you attracted to men when in cd mode? I have read where some say they are a straight man when in man mode, but then say they are a straight woman when in girl mode. My confusion was when they are dressed and say they are a straight female, then at that time are they attracted to men, just like a straight woman. I didn't need a lecture here about what is bi or gay, but does the mind tranform also when we are dressed. Just when some would say that dressed they are a straight female?

Don't get confused with the straight vs. bi or gay, either when dressed or not dressed. You'll get into semantics.

Your question is whether CDs who are into women when in guy mode, become attracted to men when dressed. The answer is yes, for many, according to this thread:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?122184-Crossing-dressing-and-dating-guys

600 replies, 50,000 views.

[Tara1967]

Let me try being a little less straight forward in answering your question. When people crossdress, they usually become more aware of certain things that they usually don't pay attention to. This heighten state of awareness might lead to some CDs noticing things that they usually don't pick up when in guy mode, i.e attraction to other men. The attraction to men is always is always there, whether or not the person decides to act on this attraction is up to them.

Now if this is still way off from what you are trying to get at, then please change your orginal question so it contains the "IF" that you are talking about.

You my friend are a coward hiding behind a screen. You obviously do not read my original post and comprehend what I was asking, then you expalin to me what gay and bi is. Like 2 and 3 makes 4. The question is more complex than you comprehend, then you give me elementry explanations.

[Danni Bear]

Tara,
Iknow how hard it is to see some post when they don't know what is being asked.

My own personal take on your post can be in either way. I myself am a TS post-op. Iwas a cd for almost 30 years before transitioning. During the time I crossdressed I didn't desire men only my wife. after transition I still only desire my wife who is now my husband. Does that make me gay or straight. It doesn't really matter in the long run. We all pursue life in our own manner. Sexual desires are not gender based totally. A man can thru or after transition change who they desire. The gender does not totally control who you desire. Many cd's do fantasize about men when dressed, it is a natural thought to have. wonderig about how you would react to a man is part of trying to be a woman. The same can be said of our F2m cd'ers and TS brothers. To say that because they were born female and to like women makes them lesbian is an insult to them and to ourselves. Make no mistake, sexual desire in everyone is different than the gender roles that society tries to put upon every one of us. .We are all different in that what one desires at any given time can and usually is different than at other times.

Danni

[ReineD]

The attraction to men is always is always there, whether or not the person decides to act on this attraction is up to them.



You obviously do not read my original post and comprehend what I was asking, then you expalin to me what gay and bi is.

Tara, I didn't read Rosuto's post as being condescending. I take it that Rosuto's point isn't so much about whether we should call CDs gay or bi when they are attracted to men while dressed. She is simply saying that if there is such an attraction, it is always there, even in guy mode, except that it isn't acted upon.

This would be the topic for a whole 'nuther thread. I'm guessing there'd be much debate about this. I think Rosuto's statement would be true for the CDs who do acknowledge they are gay or bi.

Straight CDs' attraction to men when they're dressed is more as a foil to make them feel more feminine, and the magic would soon wear off once they found themselves naked with this person. I also think that some CDs do enjoy sex with men, but only when dressed, and if they think they're straight then they're in denial about being bi. :2c:

[Tamara Croft]

Before you all ask where Tara has gone and why this thread is closed, I will explain. I haven't been here for a while, only to do admin stuff, yet Tara felt the need to slam me to pieces for no reason, using nasty name calling etc etc, so she is now banned and this thread is done.

Let me make this clear, you can all argue till you are blue in the face, but you do NOT resort to name calling, especially ones that are stared out on the board, there is simply no need for it and I am personally not having it.