How do you explain it?

[Starr]

If your SO or some one close to you asks why you enjoy wearing women’s clothes? How would you answer that?

[Karren H]

Well my typical answer is I'm driven to crossdress.... When my wife asked me I told her I liked to crossdress which isn't really the same. Having to and liking to are sometimes mutually exclusive...

[Valerie1973]

Well, we never have a quick and witty answer. I tried to answer that one with, "What the @#*! does it matter!" That did not go over too well, however, we just try to answer in our best lady like manner.

[Chickhe]

That is the impossible one to answer, all I can say is it is something I need to explore and I might as well have fun with it.

[suchacutie]

My answer is specific: I have a feminine side and I want to know who she is. She is part of me and if I don't give her the space to become herself I am denying or at least ignoring an important part of me. How can I possibly do that?

[MaryAnn40c]

My simple answer is "because I can". I feel that I had the body and stronge will to do so. I never worried about what other think or said.

[Angiemead12]

because It feels normal for me. :)

[Stephenie S]

Come on, now. You are searching for something too elusive.

You think you SHOULD be able to answer so you agonize over the question.

But really, there IS no logical, rational answer other than, " Because I like to."

Really now, why do you hunt? Why do you like hot rods? Why do you like opera? Or whatever. There is NO reason other than you like to do it. And you owe no one any further explanation.

Don't worry. Relax over this.

S

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Because they feel good and they look good on me.

[Rachel Morley]

If I was you I would say something along the lines of:

"My gender (the sex of my brain) is more aligned with what is considered "typically female". It's difficult for me to fit the standard mold of a "regular man" in society. I find relief from these feelings when I present myself as "female" or dress in feminine clothes. When I do this, I'm showing on the outside what I feel on the inside.

It’s kind of like having a gender vacation. It's not a hobby, it effects me emotionally way too much to be a hobby, it's real and it's an integral part of who I am as a person. I know I can't be truly happy without incorporating it into my life in some way, shape, or form."

[nvlady]

For the same reason my eyes are blue.
I was born that way.

[Inna]

Gender specific clothing reinforces objective representation of ever present feminine marker within sexual brain imprint and through imagery provides unequivocal and unambiguous vessel to achievement of balance.

[NikiMichelle]

I say "because it is who I am".

[Nick2Nikki]

Because I feel like it. That's it.

[thechic]

Now days i just tell them the truth, im a woman with a male exterior

[Patty B.]

Because it is who I am, driven to yes. Are you right handed or left handed, and why are you like that?

[Melody Phillips]

I told her it was something deep inside me that makes me feel good and It is something I was meant to do.

[tricia_uktv]

I think my sig explains it

[dominique]

Well I told my wife that it was something inside me that I couldn't hide and wanted to express myself as a woman.

[Jeanna]

Because I Love it.

[Amanda Styles]

I think my response would be, I enjoy wearing them for the same reason you do, they feel good, and make me feel good while wearing them.

[Kate Simmons]

I would probably say choice, although if we could "legally" do it, I doubt it would be as exciting.:)

[Jessica Who]

I basically say that I have a very strong feminine side and I am very "in touch" with it :)

[Petra.Briar]

Because I enjoy getting in touch with my feminine side....plus it feels great!

[Jamie48]

I don't know. My wife says it is my fem side. She is right I am drawn to it & always have been.

[deebra]

Because I love and am attracted to the look of a very curvy, sexy, pretty young woman. So much that I want to be that woman, the closest I can come is with her(female) clothing and makeup. I love the cut and soft fabrics of womens clothing and underwear. I like to look in the mirrow as I dress and see how sexy, curvy and femine I am becoming and I love to walk in heels, straight skirt, the jiggle and weight of my D breast forms. I could go on forever, being a good looking, well built man just doesn't even compare or come close.

[Emma England]

Because women's fashions are much nicer.

Question to women: why are you wearing pants? This sometimes gets me a confused look on their faces.

[TiffanyTgirl]

I have explained it as a physical, emotional and mental satisfaction. It is stimulating and satisfying on many levels.

[Starr]

Well most of these answer are one liners.. and I am sure none of you have used or would use one liners to explain it to you SO. I know why I do, but I was looking for a deeper explaination as to why the rest of you do. My thought was that other crossdressers who are trying to tell their SO's about themselves would be able to use this thread to help them explain themselves by letting the SO see the thread and all the different feelings crossdressers have about dressing.

[Tina B.]

Mine is I don't know why, but I'm driven to it, and if I don't I'm not a very nice person to be around, I'm depressed, and hostile. So it's better if I do.
Tina B.

[Gina X]

I don't know. My wife says it is my fem side. She is right I am drawn to it & always have been.
My wife used to say that about me.........

Love Gina x

[Taylor186]

I've heard it quoted that if someone really knows why they crossdress, then they are not a crossdresser (in the clinical sense).

[Nicole Bishop]

It is very simple for me ....Men got ripped off shoes shirts and pants stop .............BORING!!! Women got all the choices fabrics textures cuts options accessories etc Oh and makeup ??Why as a guy Is it wrong for me to wear eye liner and Mascarra? My eyelashes women would kill for so why is it wrong to bring them out?? Plus I love the shoes !!! I rest my case your honor.

[sissystephanie]

I crossdress because I really like the fit, feel , and look of feminine clothes! I told my late wife I was a CD before we married and she asked me why I dressed enfemme. I told her exactly what I said in my opening. She just laughed, and said that was a very good answer. It is also very true! I have no desire to be a woman or a sex symbol. I just like to wear feminine clothes!!

[Aimee20]

If one were to sum up all the answers so far in this thread, they would have a pretty good idea of who a crossdresser is and why they do it. For me its pretty simple. Just like a GG, I have a need to feel girly; not just in getting dressed up in fabulous clothes and going out but to lounge around the house in female mode just being comfortable in my own skin.

[Tasha McIntyre]

My wife has asked me a few times in the past, and each time I reply that I don't really know why, but I do know that I have to. I try to explain it like Melody so beautifully puts it.......


I told her it was something deep inside me that makes me feel good and It is something I was meant to do.

I wish I had a more comprehensive psychological answer for her, as she is disgusted by even the thought of Tasha, and flatly refuses to talk about it these days :sad:

I am who I am!

[Emily Ann Brown]

I have a VERY feminine head...and I feel best when I am a girl.

Em

[BiancaEstrella]

If your SO or some one close to you asks why you enjoy wearing women’s clothes? How would you answer that?

"I like the variety of looks, styles, and colors available, and don't mind the fact that some may consider it weird. If I can find it in my size, I'm just as entitled to it as anyone else, right? My liking of women's clothing is a part of who I am."

[ginafaye]

its just a part of me i really cant explain, and girl c stuff just looks and feels better

[Holly]

Sometimes the short answers are the most honest and accurate. To the question "why" I would simply respond "because." I would answer the same to the question of why I like pastrami or roses or basketball or... I think you get the idea. It's simply a preference I enjoy and find satisfaction in.

[kayegirl]

I told my new GF that it was something deep inside that makes me feel so good and calm, and to ask any questions that she wanted. Also, if she ever believed that she understood, then to explain it to me, cos I don,t understand myself.

[Susie2]

I just love the way it feels!

[TammyPA]

I tell people.........."it's how I'm wired".

[eluuzion]

I would simply tell them that there is a logical explanation for what initially appears to be some type of mental disorder. Let me explain...

Often times in a fit of delusionary fortitude someone will come up with the same tired old gastronomy(at least this is my experience). He/She will say: My parsimonious indebtitude falls flat in the face of grappling logicamacations! My edjumacation has prepared me for indignantly spewn “self-made” lacanian lepromobilities posing as theoretic propositions. Let me explain: Let’s say you divide the (so called) square root of 5 x 100 with regard to the inherent calculations of the mathematical equivalent to cosmic arguments. OK you have observed a total fallacy right? Am I correct or not? Precisely my point! It is the same argument made on behalf of spaceships traveling to Mars for the benefit of regaltutraded cockamonious fratitude! I won’t burden any of you with the erroneous consumption that makes it self plain as day in any defumpratory explanation.

There, all better...now, what's for dinner?

:love:

[MichelleL]

I told my new GF that it was something deep inside that makes me feel so good and calm, and to ask any questions that she wanted. Also, if she ever believed that she understood, then to explain it to me, cos I don,t understand myself.

This is the best one I have seen here. Although several other posts hit home as well.

[NicoleScott]

I love shrimp, and I hate beets, But I can't tell you why.
The question "why do we enjoy wearing women's clothes" really is the $64,000 question (young folks don't know where this expression came from).
It's what people (psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, etc etc AND us cd's) have been trying to figure for a long time.
For me, it's because certain things excite me. But I can't tell you why they excite me.

[KellyK]

If there were man clothes that consisted of sexy corsets, silky panties, silky thigh highs, sexy boots or heels, then I would be wearing them... but thats not going to happen in the 20 yrs so I will be happy with the ones designed for a woman, but fits well on this man's body!

[Asako]

The answer for me is that it's what feels right to me...but then again, from examining my feelings I've come to realize that I'm probably much closer to being a transsexual than I am a crossdresser. As for explaining WHY one might feel the urge...it's like asking why someone is right or left handed when it comes to writing or any thing else. Iirc, even psychologists and therapists don't know the full reason why we're "wired" the way we are. Either way, I highly doubt we can be "re-wired". ;p

[jacky83]

I don't know why.
Ditto

[Aprilrain]

Come on, now. You are searching for something too elusive.

You think you SHOULD be able to answer so you agonize over the question.

But really, there IS no logical, rational answer other than, " Because I like to."

Really now, why do you hunt? Why do you like hot rods? Why do you like opera? Or whatever. There is NO reason other than you like to do it. And you owe no one any further explanation.

Don't worry. Relax over this.

S
ditto

[Christy_M]

Why do I enjoy women's clothes? for the same reason I enjoy fried chicken...the body tells me
I need to eat so why not eat something that makes me feel good. My body tells me I need to express my feminine side so why not wear clothes that make me feel good. I certainly don't feel as good in a denim skirt and cotton panties as I do in a pretty skirt and nylons.

[Catina]

My answer is specific: I have a feminine side and I want to know who she is. She is part of me and if I don't give her the space to become herself I am denying or at least ignoring an important part of me. How can I possibly do that?

=========
Hi Suchacutie,
Really liked your answer. I am total agreement with you. Cheers, Catina :battingeyelashes:

[sterling12]

I'll give Rachel Credit for The Most Plausible Explanation. However, it's probably a little too esoteric for People with Dubious Thought Patterns. When we are asked, people in my Group say: "We don't have an Answer about Why We do This!" "We simply don't know, nor does anyone else." "Lots of Theories....lots of BS!"

We then like to break into Song! A Rousing Rendition of Monty Python's: "The Lumberjack Song!" That usually puts a Stop to all those Stupid Questions.

I was told in Nursing School, "If you ask A Why Question, you invite a negative or monosyllabic response." I wish they would ask: "HOW do you do this?" I could give them Volumes on That Subject.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Cassidy]

Years ago I bought a t-shirt at a Harley Davidson dealer that had the obvious logos plastered all over the back of it. Across the front the words '...If I have to explain you won't understand...' That about sums it up for me.

[Rachel Mari]

[QUOTE=Tasha McIntyre;2299125]My wife has asked me a few times in the past, and each time I reply that I don't really know why, but I do know that I have to.

I totally said the same thing to my wife when she asked me. I also added that it's a part of me.

[Tina B.]

Eluulion, could you repeat that with out looking, oh, and this time in english?
Tina B.

[sherib]

My wife just asked me last night, I told her I don't know why, I just have to. I just have too.

[JustineFallow]

Because I love and am attracted to the look of a very curvy, sexy, pretty young woman. So much that I want to be that woman, the closest I can come is with her(female) clothing and makeup. I love the cut and soft fabrics of womens clothing and underwear. I like to look in the mirrow as I dress and see how sexy, curvy and femine I am becoming and I love to walk in heels, straight skirt, the jiggle and weight of my D breast forms. I could go on forever, being a good looking, well built man just doesn't even compare or come close.

This would be the answer I'd probably give, too; imitation's the sincerest form of flattery, and all that.

A possible follow-up question: "Why don't you just draw them, then?" If she asked that, I'd answer truthfully that I can't even draw a stick figure right. But eventually the only answer you can give to all the 'why's' is "why not?", no?

[JenniferR771]

I usually say we who cd are born this way. No one knows why. Starts at puberty and continues lifelong. It gets a little more intense and bolder as we go along. Perhaps because we need a more intense experience for a bigger "thrill" in our mature years. Perhaps we no longer fear what people may think about us.

[vivianann]

I crossdress because I do have a strong feminine side to my personality, plus I do like to wear dresses, I also identify as a female, I also crossdress to emulate women. We all have different reasons why we dress as women, many different reasons do not apply to all, because there is so many niche's in the spectrum of the tg community. I am transgendered, I love to dress as a woman, I do NOT want a sex change. When I dress as a woman I am free to be my self

[Jamie001]

Rachel,

I completely understand because that is exactly how I feel. I am not a regular man and will never be one. The girl inside of me needs to express herself in order for me to be at peace with myself. She is part of my emotional well-being much more that my male side.


If I was you I would say something along the lines of:

"My gender (the sex of my brain) is more aligned with what is considered "typically female". It's difficult for me to fit the standard mold of a "regular man" in society. I find relief from these feelings when I present myself as "female" or dress in feminine clothes. When I do this, I'm showing on the outside what I feel on the inside.

It’s kind of like having a gender vacation. It's not a hobby, it effects me emotionally way too much to be a hobby, it's real and it's an integral part of who I am as a person. I know I can't be truly happy without incorporating it into my life in some way, shape, or form."

[Laura-uk]

Gotta say I've struggled with this 1 but so many posts here give me the inspiration Ive been in need of! Thank u friends :)

[ruroken]

well for me it started because i was incapable of loving myself (i was never shown). So instead having to deal with the inability to love myself i gave my younger self the presence of my mother, shunning the responsibility i had to my younger self to love him.

To be honest i was expecting you guys to have the ability to explain it, rather im met with one-liners and most of them on the note "because i like it"...

[Stacye Rose]

Because it's fun and I enjoy it. Next question?

[Tina B.]

To be honest i was expecting you guys to have the ability to explain it, rather im met with one-liners and most of them on the note "because i like it"...

ruroken, So far Medical science have not been able to explain it, so I doubt that you will ever get more than options on it here. And some of the one liners say as much or more than the longer post. But we all know there are no easy answers. Welcome to the search!
Tina B.

[JohnH]

I just like the look and feel of wearing skirts, dresses, and heels. My wife wears none of those items except for nightgowns [if they can be counted as dresses], and cannot understand why anybody would want to wear those items. So apparently I have a feminine side that she does not have as far as clothing. She also has much shorter hair than I do. So we like to do things a little backwards.

As you can see I always think of myself as a man (however, with a feminine side) no matter what I am wearing. That is why I retained my masculine name for this forum.

Kind regards,

John

[Emma England]

I agree Tina B.

The question to ask is this - you like wearing womens clothes because......?

[minalost]

Hmmm. I might answer: If you have to ask the question you wouldn't understand the answer. It's a little flipant, but basically true. Partly because it is almost impossible to explain in terms other than "I'm compelled" or "because I like it" or "it's fun..."