What am I angry about...?

[Kimberly]

I read an article today, in the Independant newspaper, (UK), about the recent Mercury music prize winner "Antony and the Johnsons"... Antony being the main artist, who is a guy who above all sings about transition, and his constant wishing that he was female. He also crossdresses to an extent: he wears make-up and dresses in quite androngynous clothing, and his voice... well, it's amazing and something in between male and female.

I know you think this post is leaning toward an attack on the article or at Antony himself... but it's really not. I loved the article, and how the Independant covered the story, (not making a big deal out of his gender,) and so I read with interest... though for some reason it put me in a bad mood for the rest of the afternoon and it will probably go well into the evening. The article made me think about my dressing, what it means to me, and what I haven't done yet... and more importantly: Why the hell can he do these things, but I can't bring myself to do them in my situation!??!

I haven't dressed much, compared to you girls... and I haven't done much make-up before, though I have had friends do it for me a couple of times... I think maybe I'm frustrated that I can't dress as openly as I want to, or wear make-up as much. Somehow, the Goth guy at school, who I'm friends with, can wear eye-liner and eye make-up, but if I did it because I wanted to, I bet that my gender, sexuality and general sanity would be called into question! Today a girl told my my hair band (I have moderatly long hair) was "contravertial." She then added that she had nothing against it, but that it was just that: "contravertial." .... WHAT IS SO CONTRAVERTIAL ABOUT ONE ITEM OF CLOTHING - NOT EVEN CLOTHING; ACCESSORY!! Gah...

I just don't know where this is all coming from. I think I'm calling into question all the things about my dressing, like 'why?' and 'what exactly it achieves.' But one thing is sure, if this frustration carries on, I'll end up going out in drag one night and just letting go...

Hello world, I'm Kimberly!!!

... please help :(

[Tristen Cox]

Kim questions are normal. Just don't beat yourself up about it too much. If something makes you happy and doesn't land you in jail then what harm is it doing? As long as it harms no one do as you will. That's my motto and I'm sticking to it.

[Kimberly]

Good, how much can I go through in one day!!

... sorry for this to be a vent thread... but today I was much more happy about things. Talking with my mates who know about this side of me, I was coming round to the idea of being more open about my CDing. I was talking to a close friend about how frustrated about not being to dress how I wanted to freely. She just said, "Why don't you?"

Good point, I thought... Why don't I just dress?? I was coming round to the idea so much, I was contemplating it. But just now I got a slap in the face, and know why I don't. Some guys, (attached to a girl I was talking to about theatre stuff,) took the p*ss out of one word I said. ... I'm a little bit camp, and apparently the word "rubbish" uttered from my lips is funny......... hmm. They were laughing at me because of ONE word. grr... Imagine how much they'd be laughing at me if I was in a skirt, heels and was in full make-up.

People like them should be shot... no, not shot... Educated.

I apologise again, for the tone of this thread.... and we've all heard it before. "Society is so evil" blah blah blah...

[Lauren_T]

Good, how much can I go through in one day!!

... sorry for this to be a vent thread... but today I was much more happy about things. Talking with my mates who know about this side of me, I was coming round to the idea of being more open about my CDing. I was talking to a close friend about how frustrated about not being to dress how I wanted to freely. She just said, "Why don't you?"

Good point, I thought... Why don't I just dress?? I was coming round to the idea so much, I was contemplating it. But just now I got a slap in the face, and know why I don't. Some guys, (attached to a girl I was talking to about theatre stuff,) took the p*ss out of one word I said. ... I'm a little bit camp, and apparently the word "rubbish" uttered from my lips is funny......... hmm. They were laughing at me because of ONE word. grr... Imagine how much they'd be laughing at me if I was in a skirt, heels and was in full make-up.

People like them should be shot... no, not shot... Educated.

I apologise again, for the tone of this thread.... and we've all heard it before. "Society is so evil" blah blah blah...

Kimberly, I am a firm believer in compromise.

They should be shot, then educated. :p

It's not everyone who's guilty... in other circles, were you in the company of more refined people, they would be laughing with you, not at you.

Just seek out people more of that stripe, s'what I'm saying. :thumbsup:



Also, as an aside, I had noted here some time back that the UK, despite the pockets of ignorance available everywhere, is considerably more accepting of gender variance than the Bible-thumping, insecure conformist yahoos we have on this side 'o the pond...

That your Antony there wins a prize and receives media coverage that doesn't slyly impugn his 'manliness' - which would happen here right after Tamara & Tristen's flying pigs land at Bush Airport (some cretins here still rabbet on about Boy George, believe it or not) - that he/she would be covered, and fairly, in the UK, goes far to bolster my case...

[Emily Ann Brown]

Kimberly,

If you don't get trashed for one thing it will be another. At 16 I was sooooo small, at 17 I grew a foot and was sooooooo skinny.....and wore glasses until my 20s......I was soooooo smart in school.....when I flunked one class because of a problem with the teacher I was sooooooo stupid. I am 54 and still don't fit in with most of my neighbors, coworkers and "friends". My kids pick because I offer advice (wisdom born of my own stupidity).

Learn to go your own path and forget what the crowd says or does. Most of my detractors wish they were as happy as I am, or they would be too busy being happy to run me down.

Emily Ann

[Kimberly]

It's not everyone who's guilty...
No, it's not everyone.

I have a fantastic group of friends - these guys that laughed today I knew from college, but didn't really ever talk to...

If I came out to my friends, I bet it would be a conversation point for about 10 minutes, and from then on no-one would bat an eyelid.... even if I dressed in drag!! They're a great bunch. (All girls, but I'm a crossdresser. An "honourary girl," as someone once put it.) I could probably count on their trust and acceptance, but I don't think the time is quite right to be completely open about things. A few of them know about me, but not all - and no one has spoken out of turn about it, at all. :) which is a huge relief...

I'm just annoyed at the general treatment of anyone who displays different characteristics than this "norm" that everyone has muddled together. Ah well... as is life.

We're all amazing people, we just have to live with one another. ;)

[Amelia Moxon]

... I can relate to you Kimberly I'm 21 and I was dealing with my transgender issues at school and college, only a few people ever knew about it because i knew i could trust them. It’s good that they support you just ignore the chav's and the looser jocks who poke fun they get bored eventually.
One day I'll be the first TG Prime Minister, and they will be shot if I get into power, thrust me. :D

People will always ridicule those who as far as their concerned don't follow the norm, because they're mindless Ignorant bigots who don't know how else to react, ignorance is often the best policy towards people like that.

Hugs
Michelle xxx

[Missy_Aust]

I can really feel for you in this situation. I work in a male dominated field. (3 ladies out of 60-odd employees). The only thing you can really do is to work out whether or not you can be comfortable with the jokes and snide remarks to be yourself. For me, I have started breaking them in slowly. Went to work with one nail (my inch long pinky) painted black. Now, I generally have all nails painted. That is not to say that it is for everyone, as I wouldn't tell them that I dress, but it is slowly setting them up for it. Being known to be a goth helps, as they know I wear make up (great for when I dont get it all off before work) and it allows for me to be a little eccentric

[Missy_Aust]

I dont know what the goth scene is like in the U.K., but I found the Melbourne scene a great place to come out of the closet.

[Kimberly]

... I can relate to you Kimberly I'm 21 and I was dealing with my transgender issues at school and college, only a few people ever knew about it because i knew i could trust them. It’s good that they support you just ignore the chav's and the looser jocks who poke fun they get bored eventually.
One day I'll be the first TG Prime Minister, and they will be shot if I get into power, thrust me. :D

People will always ridicule those who as far as their concerned don't follow the norm, because they're mindless Ignorant bigots who don't know how else to react, ignorance is often the best policy towards people like that.
That's exactly what I'm saying... and it is the jocks that are saying all that... not much changes, eh?

And, Missy Aust: The goth scene is huge in the UK. During the summer, I was staying about 15mins from Camden Town... Goth central of London and probably the UK. :) It was cool to see a random older guy in a leather jacket, heavy black knee length goth boots, and a mini skirt. ;) hehe.... yeah, even I looked twice at that one. :D

... Things will work out. Good to know there are others who share my frustration. xx