Time for Rolaids!

[Stephanie Miller]

The idea for this thread came to mind when answering another thread. I was explaining why I was nervous going out. I never use to be, so why now? I use to go to monthly Tri Ess meetings, went to dinner with other CD’s. I enjoyed Outreaches to colleges, schools, and work places. And of course shopping :yahoo:. Sure I had little jitters now and then. But nothing like the antacid causing feelings one gets when they go out in public for the first time.
Then a couple of years ago my youngest daughter and her husband moved in with us when the relocated in order to help out with the family business. ( Son-in-Law does not know about Stephanie, and we feel it is best if he didn’t right now). They lived with us for less than a year while they looked for a house to buy. I had to step down from Tri-Ess chapter president and declined Outreaches etc. In essence – Stephanie was gone for the year. Since that time I have had very little reason to go out. So now it seems EVERY time I go out I’m getting the “new girl nervousness”. I fight it and press on – only because I know it’s me, and my feeling. Not because of the public is waiting on the street corner to take photos and ridicule me.
I guess I just wanted to put this down so the new members that are afraid to go out – stop being afraid and press on. These feeling happen to us all. Sometimes they come and sometimes they go.
O.K., I’m ready for mine to go again. I enjoy being Stephanie.

Now with that said……. Maybe I should ask for the response from other “experienced” gals. Maybe I am the only one that gets those feeling and I’m leading newbies astray? :eek:

[LeannL]

Stephanie,
You are right. Frequency brings ease. So the only cure is to get out more! May I suggest that if you do any travelling, you try going "pretty"? If you travel by plane, the time you spend in the airport will bring back te confidence as literally thousands of people will pass you by and not notice you. Your confidence will build and you pulse rate will drop.
Leann

[sissystephanie]

Leanni is certainly correct. Frequency does bring ease. When my dear wife was alive she always did my makeup and fixed my wig so that I could easily "pass!" Then a few she ago cancer took her! I am terrible with makeup and the wig. So what was I to do? After a few months of indecision, I decided to bite the bullet and go out dressed enfemme but looking like the man that I am! You know what? Most people don't care what you are wearing unless you are trying to attract attention. I have been going out dressed enfemme, but looking male, for over 5 years now and have never had a problem. I do get compliments on my outfits, from both men and women. I have also been asked where I bought a particular skirt or top by GG's, and am always glad to tell them if I can!! As I said, as long as you are not making a spectacle of yourself, the vast majority of people will not pay any attention to you! BTW,I go everywhere dressed enfemme but looking male!!

[PretzelGirl]

I tend to find that even with small gaps (common for me), that I will get nervous leading up to going out. Right now I am getting out enough that the nervousness melts away for the most part once out. There are still situational nervous feelings. Those tend to be more of a "this is not a good situation to put yourself in" type of feelings. So I agree, the mind is a terrible thing sometimes, but just push those thoughts back.

[Steph.TS]

Stephanie, I'm both afraid and bearded, I'm learning how to do make up and preparing myself to prefect the look. I'll have to remove my beard, have make up perfect, get breast forms or go on hormones, and a few other things to make me look and feel more feminine, once I'm at that point (it'll take a while) I'll be able to handle going out. in other words I have time to build myself up to it, I'm seriously thinking about wearing fem jeans to work this week. I'm wearing nail polish (matte though it still looks a bit shiny) I'm being more adventurous in private, and moving gently to being more comfortable in public...

this weekend I walked in a mall crowded with people while I was wearing shiny clear nail polish!

[renee k]

Getting out frequently takes the nervousness away for me. After basicly taking the summer off. I spent last weekend totally as Renee. Now I'm back in the swing of things. The only time I get a little jittery is leaving or coming back into my subdivision, hoping none of the neighbors see me. But even with that, I'm at the point of not caring anymore, "I just don't give a S##T anymore what they think." Once I'm out in public I'm fine.

Renee