Battle of the sexes within.

[Alice Torn]

Well, we have all heard about the "battle of the sexes". Sadly, it ought not been a battle, as they were made, to complete one another, not compete one another! As an old 56 yo single man, with no SO, but some platonic friendships, but, countless rejections by GG's, I dressup, to be the tall, attractive lady, I have often been rejected by, but, always sought. (I have had platonic friendships with many women I am not attracted to.) My male side knows all the lonliness, and grief and sorrow of rejection, solitude. The lady i present as, is attractive and leggy, and if I really was that lady, I would have male attention raining on me! But, my male side, is in conflict, as he knows the dry desert of rejection, not being sought after, or wanted, or needed. My male side sometimes, resents all the attention, and being highly sought after, that attractive GG's "suffer". All relatively attractive GG's, can have a long list of male admirers waiting to date them!! Just the opposite for the male self.He has to beg for what crumbs of female lovefall from the table! So, the rare times i go out dressed, I have to suck it up as a male, and smile, and seem positive as a lady. Though, I am integrating the two, and cherish the time dressed in public, there is still the male sadness. I empathize with obese and other women, who are not given much attention and love. I guess the advantage of being a guy, is more privacy, being not in demand. The attractive GG's seldom have privacy, and quiet, with all the attentio, and lonely guys after their friendship!

[RachelPortugal]

Whilst you may empathize with those obese and other women, who are not given much attention or love. I empathize with the women that the media portrays as attractive or ideal because they have to put up with the attentions of a lot of shallow guys who are only interested in the outer beauty that is visible. Those "obese and other women" do find partners and are probably rewarded with truer and warmer affection. Surely, appreciating someone for their character rather than their looks is far more important.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I completely understand your frustration as a man, and I feel the same way, although I would say it is even worse for us. There are men who are attracted to large GGs (and it isn't that uncommon, though not many men who like big women will admit it.) Most women can find attention if they really want it (even if it is not the best of attention!!) just by virtue of the fact they are female and there is no shortage of terribly lonely and desparate men out there.

I think of it this way. How many GG are attracted to crossdressers, versus cisgender men who are attracted to large GGs? Maybe 1 to 10,000? Needless to say, I am not hopeful.

[eluuzion]

I do not know the personal challenges others have, so I can only speak for myself.

I have found that my quality of life is directly related to the attitude and perspective I maintain when living it.

In other words, I believe I am always moving in the direction of whatever thoughts I choose to let reside in my mind. There are always opportunities even in what appears to be the most negative circumstances. I attract what I am focused upon at any given time...like a magnet.

I also remind myself that "nobody is worthless". There is always a need for a person to be used as the example of the "loser", "worst case scenario" or the opposite of the "ideal" person in a conversation...hehehe

For example...a "jock" says to a friend..."Hey, look at how great I am...compared to that loser over there!" (me).

See, nobody is worthless...you can always be the "bad example". :D

"Doubt what you will, but never doubt yourself"

BTW, nobody in the bar is "ugly" at closing time...:heehee:

[Alice Torn]

Very good input, everyone. I appreciate it. Happiness is an inside job, and no other person can make us happy. Contribute, and affect us, yes.

[AKAMichelle]

Keep your head up Louise. Love will find you when you least expect it

[sometimes_miss]

BTW, nobody in the bar is "ugly" at closing time...:heehee:
Ah, yes. But in the morning it's a whole 'nuther story!:laughing:

[Alice Torn]

What I should ask, are any of you dealing with the "battle of the sexes or genders within"? Does your male side seem to know sadness more, than your female side. They sang, "girls just wanna have fun." Though gg' suffer in different ways, it seems men make it a done deal, when considering taking their lives, a lot more than gg.s do. Sometimes, I have trouble being smiley and giggly, and happy like a gg, when out dressed. The sad male comes out, even when trying to present as a happy lady. I suppose a drink would help!

[AKAMichelle]

My life is very different between the 2 sexes. The male side gets to work and deal with clients and has few male friends. But Michelle is much happier, busier and has a lot more friends. I guess I am lucky that the loneliness hasn't hit me yet.

[ruroken]

What I should ask, are any of you dealing with the "battle of the sexes or genders within"? Does your male side seem to know sadness more, than your female side. They sang, "girls just wanna have fun." Though gg' suffer in different ways, it seems men make it a done deal, when considering taking their lives, a lot more than gg.s do. Sometimes, I have trouble being smiley and giggly, and happy like a gg, when out dressed. The sad male comes out, even when trying to present as a happy lady. I suppose a drink would help!

man i can totally relate to that. I went through that (im early twenties). crossing didn't take the pain away it just muted it for me-for a little while. and i realized that it didn't give me what i actually wanted, which was love. So i decided to let go and build my "self." Create, express and gain some confidence. Im doing much better and the pain is still there but it is not nearly as dark and heavy as it was when i felt it when i crossed.

[Alice Torn]

SO, to be real, crossing is fun, but, it cannot bring lasting happiness or confidence. It should then, not be expected to bring deep happiness, but a temporary thrill, fun, experience of our other side. We need to become happy, and confident, in whatever side we present as. Cool!

[ruroken]

SO, to be real, crossing is fun, but, it cannot bring lasting happiness or confidence. It should then, not be expected to bring deep happiness, but a temporary thrill, fun, experience of our other side. We need to become happy, and confident, in whatever side we present as. Cool!

haha i think you got it.

I look at it like a drug but a drug that doesnt do you harm. Or people who are sex addicts and chase the moment of sex but feel down when they are not. In the end (for some) its a synthetic to be happy somthing that lasts a moment, but because we haved a hard time being happy as our "self" we tend to chase this moment of happiness because its so much better then what we normaly experience and easier to get without any of the work. And your female side doesn't need clothes to express her self. Clothes are the vehicle. You have to understand what she is actually trying to tell you in terms of being happy.

[Joanne f]

I think that you have hit on a real problem for some the in between or split life style one minute thinking like a male the next minute thinking like a female , i have often wondered "what am i male or female?" what is it like to be one or the other , it is like having a connection with both yet not being ether , to be honest i now feel like a completely different species to everyone else so if i had to find a new relationship i would find it very difficult indeed, i wish you luck in what you are looking for.