Being up front with at least part of the public

[LeannL]

Through several posts of late, I have been advocating being up front with our CD/TG/TSism at times when we interact with certain parts of the public. The times that I am suggesting where it is most useful is when the person is going to figure it out anyway. I have recently went to a new eye doctor, got my male hair cut when I really wanted to stay in Leann mode, checked into a number of hotels that asked for IDs, and flown a few times. Most of the time, when I had them the ID or insurance card or before I took off my wig, I just told than that I was transgendered. When it was appropriate, for example, the eye doctor or the hair salon, I asked them if this would be a problem. In almost all cases, they have come right back to me and said something equivalent to “no, why should it?”

I think this works because if you come to them looking like a women (our ultimate goal) and you hand them a male ID, then they get a brain freeze trying to process what they just encountered. If you tell them up front, the brain can quickly process the situation and get back to its normal job of working with you in a cordial manner.

Doing this also has the advantage of showing the world that we are out there and that we are otherwise normal people who just want to live a normal life and if we are polite we can only make the world a better place for ourselves.

So if you have had similar experiences, what have they been like?


Have you extended it to other members of the public who won’t automatically know you are TGed?

Leann

[Alice Torn]

The time last June, in Montana, when I locked myself out of my motel room on the third floor! Panic hit for a few minutes, but, I knew i would have to go down to the front desk all dressed up, to get another key. It was a long walk, and elevator ride, and a lot of kids, and their parents around. I walked quickly up to the three ladies at the desk, and nervously told them i locked myself out, and did they have a key. The lady who i talked to, was the one who checked me in, and was nice. I said something about being dressed for a costume thing. Quite a few people saw me, and upstairs, a few men noticed, and watched. I felt really great when i got into my room!

[Danni Bear]

Leann,

I can't say that everbody should be up front about being CD. It is who we are, though many have valid reasons to not shout that out to the world.
Those of us who have gone out or are out 24/7 have a responsibility to our sisters to portray ourselves in a positive manner. Some have the mistaken idea that because they are out that they present the TG community in a favorable light. It isn't always the loudest and most strident voice that makes a difference. People just seeing us out and doing everyday things speaks volumes to them. Sincerity goes a long way toward understanding and acceptance of us. The small things and actions done without thinking as a matter of course shows what and who we are. People who although we have a different take on clothes or lifestyle are no different than any other person.

Danni

[AKAMichelle]

I agree with you. I have done the same thing many times lately.