Pink Fog (TRANSSEXUALS ONLY REPLY PLEASE)

[Sandra]

In the MtF threads about pink fog crop up every so often.

Nigella never had this, her's was more of a "pink mist" it happened once and was short lived.

What has been your experience of this? Did it hit hard or was it just a mist or did it never happen?

I do wonder if it is a cd thing as can't remember seeing many TS's talk about it.

[Jorja]

What is Pink Fog?

I am sure we all get a little carried away at times and think and feel things without using our pretty little heads for something besides a hat rack. Really for me, I have always been well aware of decisions I have made concerning buying clothing, making medical decisions and that kind of thing. As if it were a "normal" part of life. As for a Pink Fog, I can't say I ever had something like that.

[pamela_a]

I guess that depends on your definition of pink fog. Since transitioning I know I've spent a lot of time and money shopping for clothes and shoes but then that was to complete the wardrobe I now need (I work in an office). OK, I may have gone a little overboard but I do have a nice, full walk in closet in my bedroom now. Except for building my wardrobe and accessories life has seemed pretty normal...considering.

[subaru_forster]

I've read the definition of "pink fog" as to mean engrossing your feminine side at the expense of your male life. I never thought to apply it to someone who is trying to move away from her male life completely.

One amusing thing I've read about the difference between a CD and a TG: a CD goes home from work and can't wait to put high heels on. A TG goes home from work and can't wait to take her high heels off.

I see more of a curve to climb in discovering yourself, and lots of things that are exciting for a CD becomes mundane to TG (as it is with a GG). For me this curve was (is?) pretty steep, but the steepness can vary.

[SuzanneBender]

I agree with Subaru on the definition. The issue is a rush to action once we own this part of ourselves. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense so let me try to explain.

Many of us spend years sometimes the greater part of our lives denying and trying to slay the person that lives inside. When we finally accept who we are we feel the need to rush into it. We look at physically matching the outside with the chewy ooohy goohey goodness on the inside as the pinnacle of the mountain. And like many adventurers at that moment we are willing to sacrifice all to get to that summit.

When we are in the pink fog we forget that we have a life. We may not have built that life around who we really are but its a real life and sometimes a vibrant life none the less. We have those that love and depend upon us. We have careers and we have found things in our male life we enjoy. For a TS the pink fog is forgetting the fact that we risk all that has come before as we look to and travel to that summit.

For some that risk is worth it for others its not, but being in the pink fog and not realizing the risk is a dangerous place to be.





We forget the fact that once you make it to the summit you always have to think whats next.

[Kathryn Martin]

I believe that the pink fog is highly overrated as a phenomenon. I experienced a little of it initially when I was in the process of acquiring my wardrobe. But really, if anything it's more like looking at the world in a new way rather than being in a fog.

The real danger lies in not assessing the risks properly. It is a balancing act, a weighing of all the circumstances that is required. Making mistakes there is easy but it has no relationship to pink fog.

[Melody Moore]

I don't believe that pink fog is highly overrated as a phenomenon at all - it is very common and depending on pre-existing psychological conditions it can affect others differently. If you are well grounded before transitioning, then I really think 'Pink fog' really wont be such a problem but if your head is up in the clouds, then you should really be prepared to fall.

There is definitely a sense of euphoria that overcomes us when we start taking hormones and transitioning. Transsexuals in my local support group have also talked at lengths about this because there will be the really low times that will come at some point further down the track & transitioning is not all butterflies & roses like some people imagine it to be. This is why I really think its important to understand the pink fog or euphoria & know how to negotiate it, stay grounded, in touch with reality & the world around us.

While its a good thing to not let others affects us in our transitioning, we have to also think very carefully & wisely about the situations we put ourselves into. To give you an example of what I'm talking about - I've noticed that one of my transsexual friends doesn't care at all how passable she is or what happens as a matter of consequence of how she appears to others. I now refuse to go anywhere in public with her because she 'outs' us every time I went anywhere with her & I felt very vulnerable & at risk while I was out in public with her. She goes to very dangerous places such as bars full of homophobic/transphobic males without really considering the risks she faces going to those types of places. She has even told me once that she gets threatened often but doesn't care & this still it doesn't stop her from going to these places. She will brazenly say to those who threaten her "Hit me if you must". I think this it very a stupid & dangerous attitude myself and is just asking for trouble. The girl I'm talking about has lots of psychological issues & has recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Mood Disorder. Personally I don't think my friend should be transitioning when she is so unstable to start with, but that isn't up to me to decide unfortunately. This is a news article about the same person I am talking about here (http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2010/07/09/117341_local-news.html).

Being a female takes a lot more work than simply putting on a dress and a little bit of make up and Subaru pointed it out, there is a steep curve to negotiate, and we must take this at a pace that we really feel safe & comfortable with while not putting our own lives & the lives of other we are suppose to care about at risk. I think being fully aware of the hazards & dangers that could face & just be waiting down the road is the safest way to negotiate our way through the pink fog.

Also as Suzanne points out we also have to consider what is going to happen after we have reached the summit because I have read a number of stories about post-op girls who go into depression once they have SRS & the pink fog starts to clear. Knowing well in advance about some the issues we will face helps to keep us safe. 'Pink Fog' is another reason why I am now so strongly opposed to anyone who considers self-administering hormones and is not under the proper care of doctors & psychologist and not involved with proper support groups or networks - without this support they have no way of knowing about the obstacles that lay in wait along their paths.

[Bree-asaurus]

To me, "pink fog" always sounded like getting lost in the stereotypical girly behavior. I almost always saw the term being used by CDs and not transexuals, so I assumed it was more of a... fetish or pretending... type of thing.

After reading some of the other descriptions in this thread, I see now that there is more than one definition and it doesn't just apply to CDs. However, I don't think I've ever experienced it. I'm not much of a risk taker, so I never got caught up in transitioning to the point of ignoring the consequences or "what happens next."

[Byanca]

I understand the pink fog is like 16 year old teenage girls discovering their sexuality clothes, fashion, make up and boys(or girls). The difference to a CD is that reality don't come crashing down on their heads.

It's like love. Doesn't last.

[Melody Moore]

Byanca

That is exactly how the girl I just mentioned in my previous post behaves.. just like a 16 year old girl - she overdoes her femininity and behaves like a teenager who actually throws tantrums - she now faces serious charges for ploughing her car into a crowd of people who came out of the bar to see what all the commotion she was causing at the time was all about - and the one girl who got hurt in this incident was one of her best friends. So now her reality is crashing down on her head and she could still end up in jail still over this incident.

'Pink Fog' is a real issue for some transsexuals with serious psychological problems and as I just proved it can have very dangerous consequences.

[Sandra]

Thank you for the replies :)



After reading some of the other descriptions in this thread, I see now that there is more than one definition and it doesn't just apply to CDs.

Yes I see this as well now Bree after reading the replies. I guess it just affects different people in different ways.

[Stephanie Anne]

You know, I never really knew what this saying was all about. I guess it can be a problem. Like Pamela, I tend to shop a lot but it is to either complete an outfit or accessorize. The other day I was obsessed with getting a perfect pair of boots. I ended up settling for a comfortable pair that just happened to be cute.

I think when I was younger (20ish), I did tend to get excited about dressing but never really went around in a fog so to speak. I think I was more of a victim of a "blue fog" where I tried to bury myself in masculine behavior to cure myself of something that needed not be hidden and "cured".

[Traci Elizabeth]

Pink Fog sounds like "mystic humbo jumbo" to me. If someone is passing through this "phantom" fog, turn on your Fog Headlights to guide you through. Now if "pink fog" is meant to be a blanket term for immature or irrational behavior then let the "high-heel" fit. Otherwise, don't we have bigger fish to fry? I know I do.

[Gerrijerry]

personally I think we all go thru it (pink fog) because there is a time when you are not sure you are TS and you feel a need that you just don't understand and try to fill it. be it with clothes or other ways. Once you realize and start to accept that you are a TS and not CD (sorry the only way I can think of saying it) The clothes just are only important as part of the larger picture of who you are and not exciting as it was before. So To me once you embrace the TS idea post or pre. Being dressed as a woman is no more exciting then being dressed as a male. Unless it is a special outfit wedding, formal party etc. no big deal. As others have said the fog is just gone and all we then want to do is complete the transformation and move on with a normal life. However as with any woman I would think that we all want to be seen and respected as a woman not a male dressed as a woman. So to me passing as some call it becomes a bigger issue so that you can just blend in and go on with your life. Please just my own feelings.

[SuzanneBender]

I think when I was younger (20ish), I did tend to get excited about dressing but never really went around in a fog so to speak. I think I was more of a victim of a "blue fog" where I tried to bury myself in masculine behavior to cure myself of something that needed not be hidden and "cured". Stephanie that's a cool new term that I am going to start using. Who knows you may have just spawned all kinds of new threads.


Pink Fog sounds like "mystic humbo jumbo" to me. If someone is passing through this "phantom" fog, turn on your Fog Headlights to guide you through. Traci pink fog is euphoria plain and simple. It happens to anyone experiencing something that they have waited a long time to realize. So it's not mumbo jumbo. Actually I think that's a dish at a restaurant in New Orleans that uses those bigger fish we have to fry.
You are correct. Moving past the euphoria is the key to a healthy mindset and successful life. Unfortunately we all know examples of trans sisters and brothers that never found the headlights. The Harry Benjamin Standards are due in part to the pink fog. We just like to use less clinical terms to describe pre transistion euphoria which leads to significant post transistion regret.

[Byanca]

'Pink Fog' is a real issue for some transsexuals with serious psychological problems and as I just proved it can have very dangerous consequences.
Well, I presume it's common. A girly thing. The problem is that it's considered shallow. Much like the 16 year old that is blessed with lovely looks, and plays all her cards on this. Some day, sooner then later beauty fades, and then she got nothing, except an obsessiveness to regain the lost beauty, digging herself even further down.

I think the pink fog can be wonderful, like a magical fairytale. But like any drug one should not overdose and let it take full control.

Transgendered people are (a lot)more at risk imo then cisgendered people, since the fall can be so much higher, and generally more fantasy prone. Even if the pink fog is real(as in they really are beautiful in the eyes of others, not just them selves), it seems wise to drink of the elixir moderately. But a bit of irrationality can be healthy, as in if you think yourself is beautiful, others will to, even if one is not. Some of these faiths and believes can be lifesavers. So I don't think it's fair to invalidate the phenomena fully. But maybe try to not base to many important decisions on this.

As for the TS, transition with an unrealistic fantasy of beauty and male slaves trailing behind with their mouths open is probably not going to work out as imagined. Even if it's a lovely picture.

[Inna]

Well, Pink-color usually associated with femininity, Fog-a condition with an obscured bearing or visibility of direction. If my understanding of this idea is correct then I have been a victim of pink fog underlying my psyche all my life and only recently am emerging to see the clear direction my life is to take. If I am to understand it though as temporary immersion into a feminine Bermuda triangle and desire to be overly feminine without logical boundaries then I have experienced such every so often when I would deny my feminine side for too long and all that energy would then burst out unexpectedly and overwhelmingly into an open. Now as I am experiencing life with HRT and somewhat out to my closest family with feeling of tremendous acceptance such fog has cleared in totality and I can experience life being me with clear goals for the near future. This is my take on this phenomena.

[Jennifer in CO]

remember Indiana Jones?...he's reaching for the grail with all his might and mental energy...slipping precariously towards the edge of the abyss when thru his "mist" he finally hears his dads words..."Let it go Indiana, let it go". Call it "tunnel vision" or pink fog or racers have a term called "red mist"...its all the same thing. You get so focused on one thing that you loose site of...everything... reality, purpose, safety, etc. Once I had transitioned and had everyone knowledge and acceptance I went like an out of control train (gee they have a new movie about that as well...) towards femininity. Within 6-8 months of transitioning there was nothing about me (visually) that even hinted I was ever male, and I don't mean just clothes. Actions, attitude, everything I quickly switched to a feminine role. In all likely hood had my wife not had a Bi streak in her at the time she'd of left me for sure. I did have several people tell me later that I embraced the "feminine lifestyle" a bit quick for a guy "forced" to just because he was growing boobs because of a medical study. I like Alexia's calling it a "feminine Bermuda triangle". Only it wasn't temporary. I jumped in and chose to get lost in it. After about a year I realized what I'd done and saw no way back at that time so I chose to continue on as a woman and make the best of it. When my wife asked me go transition back ...that was hell...of my own creating. Had I not been the train I might could have stopped at an androgynous state and made my way back when it was all over and done easier. As it was, a chance to relocate make the switch back much simpler. Not easier, just simpler.

Jenn

[Melody Moore]

This has turned into a very interesting thread I must say and its very interesting to see what Stephanie said about Blue Fog here...


I think I was more of a victim of a "blue fog" where I tried to bury myself in masculine behaviour to cure myself of something that needed not be hidden and "cured".
Like Stephanie I too got lost in Blue Fog from about the age from about the age of 16 to also hide & build up was a suit of armour & 'cure' for what was hidden a way within. I learnt martial arts first to learn to protect myself - then at the age of 18 I went as far as getting tattoos & joining the army to really learn how to fight. When my recruiter asked me what corps I wanted to join, I told him "Im joining the Army to learn to be a real soldier, so I want to go into infantry". I eventually left the Army 4 years later a full-on adrenalin junkie and get involved in the most riskiest & dangerous of activities to prove to myself and others that I was one of 'toughest guys' around. I really loved a good fight but I knew that wasn't the right thing to do, so I took up greater challenges like Rock-climbing and loved nothing better than to rappel 'face first' down 300ft cliff-faces. I also loved Skydiving, and SCUBA diving with the most dangerous marine life including sharks, I raced motorbikes in motocross, road racing and eventually high performance bikes in drag racing - anything that was dangerous I enjoyed because it made me appear tougher than most. It worked to some degree, but that girl I tried to bury within from about the age of 16 years old never went away. So I think that 'Blue Fog' can sometimes also be an issue for anyone who is trying to hide the fact they are transsexual before they finally accept their real gender identity. So Suzanne is right in that its a cool new term and one that could be very interesting to discuss.


I think the pink fog can be wonderful, like a magical fairytale. But like any drug one should not overdose and let it take full control.

Transgendered people are (a lot)more at risk imo then cisgendered people, since the fall can be so much higher, and generally more fantasy prone. Even if the pink fog is real(as in they really are beautiful in the eyes of others, not just them selves), it seems wise to drink of the elixir moderately. But a bit of irrationality can be healthy, as in if you think yourself is beautiful, others will to, even if one is not. Some of these faiths and believes can be lifesavers. So I don't think it's fair to invalidate the phenomena fully. But maybe try to not base to many important decisions on this.
I agree in that the Blue Fog or Pink Fog (euphoria) can be very healthy because I believe it gives us a certain amount of courage & strength to face up to things we need to deal with, but like you say, its unhealthy to over-indulge yourself in it. Im just thankful now that Im still alive and it's finally balancing itself all out because there was many times could have killed myself when I got well & truly lost in the Blue Fog in the "Bemuda Triangle" of Masculinity.

[noeleena]

Hi.
The Pink Fog , to me is like when i was about 8-9 when at school i went out side & could not see any thing no fences or building s that i knew were there when i came to school that morning i thought i was blind ,

well it was fog = sea mist that came in & oh dear, i was told i needed glass s . hence my having to wear them . hated it no one told me it was FOG let alone sea mist .
i was not blind & i have very long sight . yea well my fog days at school.

For me i knew who i was , a little about what i was . & of cause now being able to express who i am ,

No pink fog for this kid or ever was.

I see it i hear about it , just never went through it .

...noeleena...

[Jennifer Marie P.]

What pink fog I never look back and since my transition I bought a complete wardrobe and my hormones and teraphy were great.

[Sandra]

Thank you all for the replies...very interesting. :)

[Rianna Humble]

I think that since I finally admitted to myself that I have always known that I am a woman, not a man I have had a sense of well-being rather than "pink fog" euphoria. Whilst I was still unsure of how much of myself I was willing to accept, I do believe that I had an episode of pink fog where the desire to just get on with becoming a woman was so great that I was in danger of losing sight of the potential effects on my work, my loved ones and former colleagues. Thankfully, there were those on this site who cared enough to pull me back from the brink and make me take stock.

As for getting carried away with "an unrealistic fantasy of beauty and male slaves trailing behind with their mouths open", I think that in my case, the danger of that for me can be weighed by what I said to my GP when I first sought her help:

"I would rather die an ugly woman than live another day as a man".