Wife and I getting divorced

[DeeDee1974]

It's been a crazy couple of months. I've gone from closet Cd, to Cd with a supportive spouse who never wanted to see me dressed, to living full time with a supportive spouse who seemed to be trying hard to make it work. Within that time frame my wife sought counsel from a male friend who became more than a friend. I don't blame her. In fact I am happy for her.

Now that I know who I am. I can say I always felt like a woman inside, a woman who wanted to be with men. And in the past couple of months have had an intimate relationship with a man I have been talking to online for several years.

My wife and I will remain friends. We still live together for the time being and talk everyday. It is nice to see her happy again.

I hope to get the go ahead to start hormones soon.

[7sisters]

You and your wife have a lot of courage. I wish all your plans go well.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Wow! That is an unusual arrangement. But whatever works for you is all that matters. I hope the path you have chosen proves to be the right one for you with the test of time.

[DeeDee1974]

Wow! That is an unusual arrangement. But whatever works for you is all that matters. I hope the path you have chosen proves to be the right one for you with the test of time.

Not permanent. She is the sole bread winner, so we're working on a fair financial settlement. She is very concerned about me and my ability to find employment. She want to buy me a condo so that I always have a roof over my head. Until she finds a place she considers safe for me she wants us to live together. Basically she is being more than fair financially.

[tommi]

That is awesome that you get along so well hopefully it stays that way for the two of you.

[DeeDee1974]

That is awesome that you get along so well hopefully it stays that way for the two of you.

Thanks. My posts probably over simplified the emotions we have ensured. Let's just say it's never easy to tell the woman you've been with that you prefer men. But she has such a good outlook that she was able to joke and say "yeah me too".

My wife and I really tried to make it work. We cried a lot while making our decision. She said in the end it was akward to see me getting ready in the mirror doing my hair just wearing a bra and panties like she would. Then to see me put on a skirt and blouse. And my female voice and mannerism were too much. See just got turned off sexually.

[Louise C]

It's funny how we over simplify things at times, maybe it's so we're not reminded of how much pain is actually caused to those around us and to ourselves.
It's refreshing to see how your wife took the news, but still managed to compromise with you. Congratulations and good luck in the future........

[Melody Moore]

Within that time frame my wife sought counsel from a male friend who became more than a friend. I don't blame her.
This is just the typical sort of thing that happens when a partner turns to a male & so-called friend for counsel... its only too obvious this guy had his own selfish agenda he wanted to push here - this guy is not really considering what your wife really needs right now which is proper support. This is why a partner in your situation really needs to have proper counselling with a trained professional who doesn't have their own agenda theyre pushing.

I hope that one day that your wife has enough common sense to realise what this selfish so-called friend is really all about. Hopefully she will realise she has been vulnerable & is on the rebound - relationships formed like this very rarely work.So it will be very interesting to see what happens to her new relationship once the honeymoon is over. Because from what I can see here you have already shown that you love your wife more than this scum bag does by being prepared to set her free & that you want her to be really happy - you have also shown her you have lots of integrity by how upfront, open & totally honest you really are to live your life and be your true self.

I commend you for your great attitude & the type of person you are and living your life for yourself and not for other people - so well done!

[DeeDee1974]

This is just the typical sort of thing that happens when a partner turns to a male & so-called friend for counsel... its only too obvious this guy had his own selfish agenda he wanted to push here - this guy is not really considering what your wife really needs right now which is proper support. This is why a partner in your situation really needs to have proper counselling with a trained professional who doesn't have their own agenda theyre pushing.

I hope that one day that your wife has enough common sense to realise what this selfish so-called friend is really all about. Hopefully she will realise she has been vulnerable & is on the rebound - relationships formed like this very rarely work.So it will be very interesting to see what happens to her new relationship once the Ghoneymoon is over. Because from what I can see here you have already shown that you love your wife more than this scum bag does by being prepared to set her free & that you want her to be really happy - you have also shown her you have lots of integrity by how upfront, open & totally honest you really are to live your life and be your true self.

I commend you for your great attitude & the type of person you are and living your life for yourself and not for other people - sot well done!

thanks for your kind words Melody. I feel no I'll will towards my wife's friend. She needed what she got from him. Trust me. I was also having am affair with a man the past couple of months.

Our ability to cope the way we have the past week shows me that we will be best friends the rest of our lives.

[shesadvl]

I feel no I'll will towards my wife's friend. She needed what she got from him. Trust me. I was also having am affair with a man the past couple of months.

Our ability to cope the way we have the past week shows me that we will be best friends the rest of our lives.

well done & all the best DeeDee.... shows what good communications, honesty,.. all things up front can bring is all about , also what can come from it ...
I wish you both nothing but the best in which ever paths you both walk.......for You DeeDee on the path you are walking to fulfill becoming the woman you want to be....all the best
:battingeyelashes:

[Nicole Erin]

Sometimes divorces can be peaceful.
It works out in the end, everyone gets their freedom back

[Aprilrain]

Hey Deedee. I too went from closet CD not long ago to having an accepting wife who doesn't want to see it, to her being more open to little things like doing my make up and trying on clothes together. I actually have no doubt that eventually she would have been OK with me being fully dressed in front of her (not all the time). There is only one problem, I have always known that I was A heterosexual woman but when your a genetic male what the hell do you do with that. Stuff it deep down in side I guess so I too am likely to get a divorce soon as I finally told my wife. Her response was "well when are you going to accept that you are not a woman unless you get a sex change". After a strained silence I told her that is what I was thinking. Perhaps it is naive of me to think that my wife and I could be friends after such a life altering change but it is what I hope.

[Melody Moore]

I backed out of my relationship with my girlfriend because we were having issues at the time and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get out, give her the time and space, let me deal with what I had to, then get back in touch with her to see if we could just be friends - but what has transpired is beyond anything I could have ever imagined or hoped for. Not only are we the best of friends now we are also lovers again. She was also straight before, but has fully accepted me now as being female so she is starting to explore her sexual boundaries in a lesbian relationship with me. She also does know I am bisexual and attracted to some men, however I haven't met a guy that I would want to be with yet.

Trusting men has always been a huge issue for me. When I lived as a guy I refused to go anywhere near another male in any sort of a gay relationship - the idea totally repulsed me. As a female now, I'm open to the idea of a normal heterosexual relationship but all the men I am attracted to most of all are not interested or already taken. My trust issues with males is because I have been sexually & violently abused by males who were family members and a so-called best friend as a child & teenager.

I'm a real fussy bitch when it comes to males I wont consider being with any guy who is not intelligent & respectful towards women. I wont go with any guy who doesn't have a job & isn't financially stable or has mental health issues, drinks excessively or uses drugs, I'm not turned on by fat & overweight men, especially those beer guts they turn me right off because they remind me too much of my father. I hate kissing sandpaper and broom sticks, so if they are unshaven and have facial hair such as a beard or moustache In not at al interested. Guys with full beards or wear sunglasses all the time are also often hiding from something. Attitude is important I cant stand men who have huge ego and are full of themselves - I especially hate womanisers, players & cheaters. I'm turned on most of all by down-to-earth guys who always respectful & honest towards their partners & know how to hold a decent intelligent conversation that doesn't revolve around sex. So I guess that rules most men out :(

[arbon]

Hi DeeDee it all sounds very positive and that you are OK with all of this. It is a really great relationship the two of you seem to have and hope you are able to stay close friends.

My wife and I are making a go at it but realize how difficult it will be, but I think we will always be able to stay friends. She is my greatest supporter, but she is not a lesbian ( I don't even know what the hell I am but she at least is sure of that!)

Good luck to you and I am glad you are ok with where things are at in your life.

[Rianna Humble]

I wont consider being with any guy who is not intelligent & respectful towards women. I wont go with any guy who doesn't have a job & isn't financially stable or has mental health issues, drinks excessively or uses drugs, I'm not turned on by fat & overweight men, especially those beer guts they turn me right off because they remind me too much of my father. I hate kissing sandpaper and broom sticks, so if they are unshaven and have facial hair such as a beard or moustache In not at al interested. Guys with full beards or wear sunglasses all the time are also often hiding from something. Attitude is important I cant stand men who have huge ego and are full of themselves - I especially hate womanisers, players & cheaters.

But apart from that you like all men equally? :heehee:

[Louise C]

I agree, Melody. Most of the men over here are dirty, horrible smelly things. Yeuck..........:D

[Melody Moore]

But apart from that you like all men equally? :heehee:
Did I say anything like that Rianna? I give anyone a fair chance, but like I said, I haven't met any SINGLE males
I am comfortable with or feel attracted to - usually if they are single its for a reason - nobody else wants them.

[Rianna Humble]

Melody, the HeeHee smiley was supposed to give away the fact that I was joking

[DeeDee1974]

I agree, Melody. Most of the men over here are dirty, horrible smelly things. Yeuck..........:D

Either dirty and smelly turns me on or we have very different guys here. LOL. Honestly I think there are a lot of beautiful people in every gender.

It was a very scary when I was younger to think of giving myself fully to a man. So I was with women because it felt safe. Then I met a wonderful man who treated me like a lady and giving myself to him has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I'm so glad I kept an open mind.

[Melody Moore]

Then I met a wonderful man who treated me like a lady and giving myself to him has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I'm so glad I kept an open mind.
You are very lucky indeed and this is why I still keep an open mind.