Regrets namely you name.

[SuzanneBender]

There are lots of post across the forums here concerning names. I have found everything from why did you pick yours to how do you change it, but I have not found one concerning a tinge of regret or doubt that I have about my femme name.

I was born a natal boy. My parents were not kind enough to give me one of those great androgynous names that work well for ladies or men in our situation. So as I express my femininity I obviously need a name that fits my external appearance. Well for you hard core gender transgressors I guess I don't really, but I feel more comfy with one that fits. For my own reasons I chose Suzanne. Hint-thank you James Taylor.

I like my name. I really do. However, there is a bit of regret. Names are supposed to be chosen for us. They are selected by those that love us and in most cases celebrate someone that has come before us or expresses a hope that our loved ones have for our futures.

I guess having a loved one pick your name is one of those experiences that people like us miss out on. Do you see it as a shortfall or am I making to much ado about nothing? Did you select your name or did someone else? Just curious.

[minalost]

Hmmm. In my opinion too many people today get stuck with weird names by well meaning Moms and Dads. "Oh. let's make sure our little boy/girl is unique and stands out in a crowd by naming him/her (fill in the blank with the wierdest name you can think of...) Or they do it my making in a normal SOUNDING name and then just miss-spelling it. "Hi my name is Fred, no that's P-h-r-e-d!" Shudder! I picked my own Fem name and am very happy that I did.
Just my .02!

[GaleWarning]

I am reminded of a Tom Lehrer song which mentions a gent named Phenry.
The P, you see, is silent.

I am happy with my birth name. It describes me to a T.

My on-line name is only there for the sake of anonymity.
And yes, it is deliberately androgynous.

[AKAMichelle]

I do regret the name I chose but I will have to live with it for now. I chose the name from the name my wife and I picked out for a daughter that we never had.

Heather Michelle

[NV Susan]

I did use the name Kimberly but a few years ago a GG friend told me I was to old for that name, it would not have been used when I was born. I changed it to Susan, and I've been Susan ever since!!! :)

[Jorja]

I went with Jorja because my father said that would have been my name had I been born a girl. It is much better than the one they gave me, Gregory yuck!!!!!

[Karren H]

I actually like my birth name. Not a lot of people have it and since Karren is made from that name... I figure my parents chose 5/6's of my femme name which is pretty good!! Lol.

[Lorileah]

No regrets here because it was the name my inner self had long before I started using it. I thought I should have been named Lori and that was my "play" name when I was a kid and needed a girl name. I even loved the letter "L" when I started cursive writing interlining the LL. Then it was like karma later when I was about 12 years old and found my baby book in a box of old stuff. Back then mothers kept baby books especially when they were having the first child. A few pages in after all the fluff and hype was the fill in question "If the child is a boy what will you name him?" and the blank was filled with my male name (my mother said in honor of a young man who was killed in action that she knew. And below that was (yes once again the female is below the male) the question "If the child is a girl what will name her?" and my mother wrote Lori Lee. So somewhere that name had been planted in my mind. I changed the spelling because as we all know when you reach your teens you HATE the name your parents gave you. I have discussed this with my mother and she does not remember writing that down but she says she always wanted to be Linda.

Susan I don't know what age you are but I have a cousin who is my age (54) who is named Kimberly so I don't see how you could not have been born with that name. What did your friend think you should be Mergatroid?

Suzanne and Michelle, you can always change. If you feel something fits better, I would change it now. Easier to do it early. Long before it is etched in granite

In my line of work names "morph" all the time. Rarely does the dog or cat, especially, keep the given name. I will refer you to Old Possum's book of Practical Cats where the chapter on naming cats reads "each cat has three names: one common, one fancy, and one that only the cat knows" Being of the feline purrrsuasion we should have three names also

[NathalieX66]

Mine reflects my identity , ethnicity, and my family tree, which much of it comes from Quebec.
I've seen Chloe and Zoe on that tree too, but I felt that choosing them was too cutesy and trendy. I'd rather name a daughter those names. My aunt Priscilla passed away recently , and I think that name is too flowery.

[dilane]

I actually like my birth name. Not a lot of people have it and since Karren is made from that name... I figure my parents chose 5/6's of my femme name which is pretty good!! Lol.

Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!

[dilane]

My wife picked my name. I had originally selected "Lisa" when I was a teenager. (It really doesn't suit me).

I'd come home from a business trip in Atlanta, and I was imitating the receptionist who had a big southern "drawl", and my wife heard me say the name and said, "That's it: Diane! It suits you."

[Rianna Humble]

I guess having a loved one pick your name is one of those experiences that people like us miss out on. Do you see it as a shortfall or am I making to much ado about nothing? Did you select your name or did someone else? Just curious.

I wil answer these points in reverse order. I chose my first and last name but canvassed opinion from my very best friends for my midle name. I wanted for practical reasons to keep the same initials as my old name, but didn't want a cliche like Renee. As I was thinking it through, the name Rianna came to mind and seemed to fit me like a glove. I wanted my new last name to resemble my old one but still be distinct and Humble goes well with Rianna (even though I often explain to people that it is not a description:heehee:).

When I gave an interview to the paper, I said (and still believe) that I am lucky to have had the chance to choose my own name, so I don't think I've missed out on an experience, rather I have had an opportunity not given to most people.

Besides, some parents can be very cruel when they name their offspring. A few examples:

1 When I was in credit collections, I had to call a customer (didn't know at the time whether they were male or female) for whom I did not have a complete first name only an initial, so I had to ask if I could speak to A Prat.

2 A similar example was the customer whose last name was Sole and for whome I only had the obvious initial.

3 My erstwhile sister went to school with unalike twins Portland Edwina Augusta Green and her twin brother Philip Edward August. Imagine having to go through school with a name like Portland, or have the alternative of just being known by your initals PEA Green.

4 The people who sold me my house, father and son named Richard but affectionately called "Big Dick" and "Little Dick" :eek:

Personally, I would hate to have to live my whole life with one of those names.

[SuzanneBender]

Suzanne and Michelle, you can always change. If you feel something fits better, I would change it now. Easier to do it early. Long before it is etched in granite

Being of the feline purrrsuasion we should have three names also Don't get me wrong. I love my name. It fits like a glove. I just wished it could have been given by my parents. However, given the stuffy boy names they hung me with (all family names that are a couple of generations past) I probably am much better off. In all likelihood I would have been a Grace, Emma or other old lady name.

Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts! Raren. What a cool name for a hockey player.


I wanted for practical reasons to keep the same initials as my old name.
Besides, some parents can be very cruel when they name their offspring. I like that idea and have been thinking about the something similar if I ever arrive at the point in this journey where I am making an official name change. I would obviously like to keep my last name and was thinking about hyphenating it with my male first name that just happens to also be a last name. Sounds silly but I thought it would help when it comes to records and such.

Some parents can be cruel with names. I have no idea what goes through their minds. My wife and I spent hours working on names that honor our children.

[anna kate]

I chose a name that was taken from my given name. After my niece "discovered" me, she asked me if I had a fem name, I replied with yes and told her... She said that nobody gets to name themselves and she would think on it, and let me know. She chose my new name from two of my female ancestors. So, its been Anna Kate ever since. I actually like it.

[SuzanneBender]

Anne Kate that is too cool! You have a given name by someone who loves you and its a family name to boot.

[sandra-leigh]

After I changed (unofficial) names last year for family reasons, I found that the new one just doesn't quite "stick" for me. I've been looking around for a good permanent name... and I've been encountering all kinds of restrictions on names that I cannot take. Cannot start with the same initial as my grandmother, mother, sister; can't take this name or that name because my mother has a friend-she-doesn't-really-like of the same name... and so on. Sigh.

[Fab Karen]

His parents named him Archibald Leach. He changed his name & is known to history as a sauve popular guy: Cary Grant.

[Rachel Mari]

I picked my name because I have always really liked the name Rachel.

I pretty well suck at naming anything (cats, dogs, kids) and our cats were named by my wife or kids. When my son was born, it took 5 days to us to come up with a name for him and it fit him. I didn't think of his name but I really like it. On the other hand, as soon as my daughter was born I knew she was a Audrey and it fits her to a tee. The one rare occasion that I succeeded in a name.

I sometime wish that my wife had been in on my fem name and maybe she will be later. More on that later, after couseling. It would mean more to me to have it picked by someone I love very much as they would see in me that name.

So, I may change my name someday, or not. We'll see.

[sometimes_miss]

Real name, sure; because I had to grow up with it, and remember lots of kids making fun of me, and often my name was in that process. But I think it was mostly because my whole childhood sucked. My real name isn't that bad. Regret my fake female name? Why? It's fake. I can change it anytime I want. In fact, you can change your real name as well if you really want to.

[eluuzion]

I think the logic behind my online name is pretty straight-forward. It fits me and my perception of life in general. I do not feel the need to have a first & last name and I will certainly not have a “Miss” in front of it anytime soon, unless I decide to become a Vegas showgirl, lol.

As for my real first name…Back in my more adventurous years, when I associated with people you probably think only exist in the movies, my “friends” started calling me by my initials. I just adopted that “name” and today, most of my friends probably could not tell you what my actual name is. I do not even relate to my real first name anymore.

I always vary the spelling of my first name on applications, etc. Every place I submit my name is different. That way when I start receiving “junk” mail, I know exactly who sold my name, by the spelling of my name. Then I write that company and tell them why I am cancelling all of my business with them.

When I was in sales, I knew a guy named Richard Head. For real! He was a riot as a person and one of the best salesmen I ever met. He got a ton of mileage out of his name, and always got appointments with buyers that nobody else could break into.

I have no regrets about anything I have done in the past...

:love:

[Danni Bear]

Name , no regrets as it is a contraction of my name which is the fem version of my male name. so all I've ever actually been is Danni although the spelling was not always the same.

Danni

[Sara Jessica]

I totally see your point Suzanne and as your thread has illustrated, very few of us seem to have had the opportunity to have our names given to us. Consider such circumstances where we might be given a name...


Parents disclosing "if you had been born a girl, your name would have been..." (oh, but I was, you just didn't see it that way).
Named by a SO, friend, relative, etc.
Named by that SO whose introduction to "this thing of ours..." (© Veronica ;) ) is by way of her discovery of you wearing her stuff. Then again, that name may not be all that feminine, might not want to use that one!!!


But as you said Suzanne, our names sometimes fit like a glove. I cannot imagine being anyone but Sara, a name I chose for myself so long ago. I cannot imagine you being anyone but Suzanne, a name which conveys your personality, feminine, warm, and just enough sassy in there to reflect your wonderful personality. Yet Suzanne is classy as well to convey grace as we inevitably grow older. Does the name do all of this on it's own? Not at all. Your personality has made you own it.

Gosh, I hope you weren't thinking of changing it!!! ;)

[Dian077]

Actually mine was picked for me by my parents, lol. My mom wanted another girl really bad, and really thought I was going to be a girl. They had chose the name Dian and did not even pick a boy name :). When I was born they had to think of something so they came up with my name now.
I had always remembered that story. So Dian always felt like a natural fit for me.

[Karren H]

Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!

Sooo close. Lol.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzanne

I neve really had a feminine name till I became a member of the forum
that's when Blue Orchid came into being. Blue is my fvorite color
and orchids are my favorite flowers.

There's no way in hell that my wife would ever give me a feminine name.

My given male name is one that if you walked into a room and called it
probably four or five guys would stand up.

Orchid

[Sarah Doepner]

I found that my parents would have named their second child Marie if She had been born rather than Me. I took it as my middle name and am happy with that. Sarah dropped out of the sky and landed in my mouth one day as I was attempting to modify my voice to be a little more feminine. I had been practicing with accents to see if a southern belle, British or Irish lilt would help me sound a little less like a guy in a skirt. All of a sudden I was Sarah and it's stayed with me, a gift from the universe I guess, so who am I to refuse this kind of present? Charles is my given middle name, so it seemed to fit with the rest in a comfortable fashion. All names given, in one way or another, so I'm happy with them, particularly when I can use them!

[Rachel Morley]

My screen name on this forum before I started going out in public was Angel Darling, but when I started meeting people in real life at TG events my wife suggested I use something less "cutesy" (her words not mine) ... Rachel was chosen by her. I like my femme name and I like that a loved one chose it for me, but looking back, I too wish I had been christened with a gender neutral name that could have been a girl's one or a boy's one .... but then again, perhaps if that had of been the case, I may have had "masculine memories" and history about myself and that name and may not have been able to adapt to being girly and still be called by it. Starting over with a fresh "all girl" name is like being reborn (kinda) ... and that feels good.

[Frédérique]

I guess having a loved one pick your name is one of those experiences that people like us miss out on. Do you see it as a shortfall or am I making to much ado about nothing? Did you select your name or did someone else? Just curious.

I selected my name, but it was purely a requirement for reasons of posting here. As such, I never gave it much thought. I could be any one of several different names, but I chose one with a strong visual attachment. I haven’t regretted my choice, simply because “Freddy” is a cute nickname…
:battingeyelashes:

[Trystan]

heres an odd name La-a pronounced Ladasha go figure

[t-girlxsophie]

Who better to choose our name,but ourselves I tried a few names out but when I decided on Sophie,it just seemed right for me,and when I hear "Sophie" being called out by someone (not to me)I can't help but smile,my wife added a middle name for me which was a nice idea (she chose well)
As for my guy name,well It just aint cool,seems to be a lot of iffy ppl with the name too.

:hugs:Sophie

[Paula G]

I chose Paula because it was a play on my male name. I have considered changing it to Melissa, but Paula is now such a part of me that it would not feel right changing it at this time.

We are lucky in that we can select our names as opposed to having it selected for us, as long as we can choose one that best fits who we are. My folks would have named me Deborah or Rachel if I were born a female. I don't see me as either of them, though.

[Michelle James]

Regrets? If you mean does a chill run up my spine when someone utters my name. Then yes. When we picked Michelle for me we didn't think the fact that our quasi daughter in law having the same name would be an issue. Well it is for me. When someone calls me that, i involuntarily look for her. Thinking of changing it to Michaela with Micky or Kay or Kayla or Ella for a nickname.

I know my mother had girl names picked out but no one in the family seems to remember what they were.

[Nicole Erin]

I love my name. Nicole would have been my birth name, Erin is something I kind of pulled out of my ass.
I go by Erin.

Also, at birth, you have no choice in the matter of your name but when you change it or pick an alias, you DO have a choice. Just dont change legally until you are sure of one you like.

[noeleena]

Hi,
For me it was not a problem nore my 2 nd name because my first is both male & female noel, no-el, to noeleena,
edward to edwina. my other 2 names is different . manfred , Von Reutchthos. last name remains the same . Loch-head.

...noeleena...

[Angie G]

There are some girl names that really Suck out there. You got to pick yours so it's one you really like. And this is bad how.I picked Angie it holds a special meaning for me and I love it.:hugs:
Angie

[PretzelGirl]

I would have been Stephanie if born a girl according to my parents. It just didn't seem to fit me. I didn't want anything that sounded girly, cutesy, or elegant. None of those seemed to fit me. I feel more middle of the road, outgoing, and friendly (not that Stephanie isn't these, but I didn't feel it). Sue seemed to fit to me. I haven't needed a last name yet, so I haven't put too much thought into that. One thought was if I use my real last name, then I can have a debit card with two initials and the last name and I can use it anytime. That helps on mail also. The other thought was to honor a last name from my ancestry. Still haven't decided since I am not pressed on it. Maybe a naming contest? :p

[Gina X]

I chose Gina based on a television character that I liked, it is one decision that I have never regrettd I've really liked the name ever since..............

Lots of love Gina x

[suchacutie]

Within the first 48 hours of being dressed for the first time my wife and I set a lot of ground rules and made a lot of decisions that have stood the test of time. One of them was that my femme self needed and name and a separate e-mail address. We both understood that we both needed to be happy with the name, so we agreed that I would give her a list of names that I would be ok with. If she found a name on that list she was ok with then me had it, if not we'd discuss it again. I suspected that she wanted my femme self to be named Tina because of the similarity of our legs (yes, that's what she thinks!) and I was ok with Tina so I put it on the list. Sure enough, Tina it is, and the picking of my name was, thus, a collaborative effort.

:)

[Ruth]

Ruth is not the name I would have picked if I had sat down and tried to think of one. But it didn't work out that way. I don't understand how I knew but I knew that Ruth was my femme name. I can't change it any easier than I could change my birth name.
So it may not be my favorite but at least I have got no doubts about it.

[Barbara Dugan]

I always liked the name Barbara since I was a kid...but my parents named me after my dad now talk about some guilt trying to get rid of it:sad:

[Jilmac]

I selected my own femme name, and kept it quite simple as well. All I did was replace the first letter of my common male name with a J to come up with Jill.

[Carla4Guage]

So many have mentioned that "If you had been a girl your name would have been ....." I wonder how many of us ever asked our parents or somehow found out what that name was. I know in my case my fem name is both the female version of my male name & the name I would have been given had I been a girl. It was my fathers name and I always hoped he would have been proud of me either way (I think he would) but unfortunately I never got to know him.

[audreyinalbany]

I picked Audrey because it has a kind of 'old-fashioned' ring to it and it was the name of a woman I admired from a distance years ago. When I first got serious about dressing, I went by "Suzanne," but that was the name of a woman I was emotionally involved with when I was in my twenties and I just kind of felt adopting her name would be a little weird in a Freudian sort of way...

[Kathi Lake]

Wow, I'm pretty late to the thread (war games again. Sigh).

I chose the name Kathi myself. Why? It kind of fits me - it's not that pretentious, but instead more of a girl-next-door kinda thing. The unique spelling is more for the "cute" quotient than anything. I just liked the way it looked. The name of the girl I first kissed (well, the one I remember, anyway) was named Kathie. I liked that, but it just didn't look right with the 'e' at the end.

As for Lake, it seemed to me to be a name that oozed elegance, charm, sophistication, class - and all those other things that certainly weren't me. :)

Put it together and you have me. Kathi Lake. Not the name I'd have been born with if I were a girl (as they were thinking I was). Not a name that someone chose for me. Not a name that was given to me. Still, it's a name that certainly speaks to who and what I am. I like it!

:)

Kathi

[Faith_G]

My first name I chose. I always thought it was a pretty name, and it speaks to who I am as a believer in Jesus as well as my belief in my true identity. Two of my sisters have "Grace" and "Joy" as their middle names so "Faith" fits in very nicely. My middle name is Sara. My Mom was going to name me Sarah had things turned out differently. I like it better without the "h". I kept my last name the same. And I have no regrets. :)

[RachelPortugal]

I actually like my birth name. Not a lot of people have it and since Karren is made from that name... I figure my parents chose 5/6's of my femme name which is pretty good!! Lol.



Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!

Some simple algebra can solve it and possibly make your head hurt even more!

Karren x 5/6 = arren

Let D = 1/6

1/6 + 5/6 = 1

D + arren = Darren.

That is one possible solution.


I chose my own femme name because it has same first syllable as my male so if I start to give my name I can change it mid-word. My wife is the one who is not keen on the name. I did think of lots of other names but they were either ex girlfriends' or screen/music idols' names, which I felt would not go down to well with my wife.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Self picked name which I like far more than my chosen male one. My last name chosen as a tribute to a distant GG ancestor who had the same name, the first name was partially taken from one of my favorite actresses. I chose my name long before joining this forum and just like my male name it will never change.

[latinacdtx26]

my name is Jamie...to most other cds around would say your really lucky but ....for other latinos.....its not pronounced that way soooo cant win them all i guess....

people say its unisex...theres jamie fox and kennedy etc.....my mom was never shy about saying she wanted a girl lol

[minalost]

I actually like my birth name. Not a lot of people have it and since Karren is made from that name... I figure my parents chose 5/6's of my femme name which is pretty good!! Lol.


Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!


Sooo close. Lol.

Is it Darin or Darrin?
:hugs:

[BiancaEstrella]

Dani is a contraction of my male name. Growing up, nobody ever called me Danny (homonym) and I wouldn't have liked it anyway. Now, my innermost circle gets away with it because I know how they mean it.

[Pythos]

You know, it is funny. I read in the earlier posts people ripping into parents that wanted to give their children unique names. The view seemed to be that this was an abhorrent behavior. What about naming your kid after yourself, is that not kinda messed up too?

As far as the unique names, hasn't anyone ever realized that ALL names at one time were "weird" and "odd". That is all names, from John to Zed.

When I hear or read talk like what I read here, I just wonder why people limit themselves so much.

My friend's name is Adriane. Her name when translated to its actual language is something along the line of Dark pool, or something, yet Adriane is a common name in the Western World.

In my case my name is time a child in my family received the name I have. I am named after my father, and consequently had to go through school with the suffix JR. at the end of my name. This was yet another thing that was an object of derision for the bullies to pic on.

I would like to change my name to Pythos, but I know how odd that would be with how old I am. The paperwork with the FAA would be a nightmare as well.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Don't worry Karren. I will never tell. You know too many family secrets! WINK

I had no problem with a name. It was on my tongue in a flash. No changing it. When in elementary school...I used my middle name because I didn't like mine. Named after my father. I love him, just wanted my own name.

I have a picture of a tombstone with EAB on it. The young girl died early, about the time I was "born". I take it as a sign.

Em

[Eve II]

I chose my name from what was once man now becomes a woman.

[tamarav]

That is one thing I have never regretted, my name. I chose it and I have nurtured it for over 40 years and I now feel pretty comfortable with it. That, and everyone I work with calls me Tami or Tamara..

[Charleen]

Changed mine a while back. I used to be Lily around here. Now, when anyone yells "Charley", I look around no matter how I'm dressed. Makes my life simpler.
BTW, Karren, I know but I ain't tellin'!

[Annaliese2010]

...a name that fits my external appearance... For my own reasons I chose Suzanne. Hint-thank you James Taylor. I like my name. I really do. However, there is a bit of regret. Names are supposed to be chosen for us... I guess having a loved one pick your name is one of those experiences that people like us miss out on...am I making to much ado about nothingUm...yeah. Suzanne's a pretty name. And ooh lala it's French!

Suzanne takes you down
To a place by the river
You can hear the boats go by
Spend the night forever

You know she's half crazy
but that's why you wanna be there
She feeds you tea and oranges
That came all the way from China

And just when you want to tell her
That you have no love to give her
She gets you on her wavelength
And she lets the river answer
That you've always been her lover

You wanna travel with her
Wanna travel blind
But you think maybe you'll trust her
She's touched your perfect body with her mind (J. Taylor)

;)

145771

[Karen564]

No, I cant say that I have any regrets about my name Karen, I was the one that picked it & I did so because I admired my God parents daughter so much when I was little, I loved being around her & wished I could be just like her because she was so beautiful & feminine..hell, I used to wish I was her!!!

But before I went ahead & did my legal name change, I had 1st asked my Mom if her & my dad had a girls name picked out before I was born to be ready either way, but she said no, they did not & did not even come up with my male name until the day after I was delivered.... So that was a bit of a disappointment hearing that because I would of been perfectly willing to give up my persona name of Karen that I used since the age of 8 in order to take on a girl name that my parents would of given me if there was one..(it would of been so cool to have what would of been my original birth name as a girl)

So,,,, Karen it stayed and is is my Legal name plus my new middle name to (since Karen bruce just wouldn't sound right...lol) but kept my last name (which btw is not really 564...lol).. At school, many call me by my middle name (which is not bruce...lol)

The only one that has a problem with my new legal name is my sister, because her daughter is also named Karen, who is also not happy with me, even though our middle & last names are totally different...my sister & niece told me that had they known when my name change court date was, that they would of filed an objection to it...but I really doubt the judge would of denied my request because of their reasoning...
Anyway, my name created a rift with them...But hey, it's their problem really, not mine because it's so stupid when you boil it down for what it is......I was like I'm sorry, but your not the boss of me....lol

[DonnaLynn77]

I actually like my birth name. Not a lot of people have it and since Karren is made from that name... I figure my parents chose 5/6's of my femme name which is pretty good!! Lol.


Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!


Sooo close. Lol.

Ooh, ooh I know!! Well, you have mentioned it on this forum before, Karren. :D

[Karen564]

Ooh, ooh I know!! Well, you have mentioned it on this forum before, Karren. :D

I never saw her mention it before, but my guess would have be .............. Darren

Am I close ???