lost it

[Vera]

hi ..whats wrong with me... all of a sudden i don't want to wear female clothes or shave... i feel numb all over... maybe its the guilt... i am a man who enjoys being a man but untill last week all i had was the urge to dress up and couldn't shave enough.. now it feels like its the furthest thing from my mind...i'm 54... maybe i'm losing my nerve to do this.. maybe its the idea of being found out by family,co-workers or getting in an accident that scares me.. anyway i've regressed to totally drab

[Phoebe Reece]

Maybe this is your masculine side wanting to express itself. This is just a normal part of finding that balance point between the masculine and feminine that will work for you. Don't worry about it and get on with your life. When the urge to dress enfemme returns, you'll know it. And, it will return...

[Sophie Haworth]

I would now enjoy life in male mode, get the most out of what you do when in male mode and just wait for her to return, no need to force her back, she will not be far away. I have not dressed since April when I went out dressed and really enjoyed passing, I felt I acheived something that day and it seemed to be enough and I am still pretty much in male mode, but Sophie is not too far away, and all her clothes etc are still in the wardrobe waiting for her to come back and take over the house.

Enjoy both aspects of who we are.

[MsEva]

No telling, as I really don't know you, but for me, things have changed with age. It used to be my dressing was foreplay for me..now it is just me. BUT, I understand guilt...all too well and that stress can take a lot out of you! :(

[urban gypsy]

I've gone through times when joanna was put away. but believe me she always returns and usually stronger and more confident.

[DonnaT]

One of the girls in another forum finall started again after 4 months of not having the urge. So it will probably come back, as it usually does, but if not, just be yourself and enjoy.

[gennee]

Vem:

There will be times where you won't feel like dressing femme. It's good to step back and see where you are. I haven't felt like dressing femme the past couple of days but I know I'm a Cd. It's good to find that balance which will make your life fulfilling and rewarding.

Gennee :)

[Rachel Morley]

Ah...the yin and yang of life! Well, I guess this just means that (at the moment) the scale of your masculine/feminine self is currently tipping a little more towards the masculine side than usual.

Don't panic! As long as you don't hate yourself for being more "guyish" and being in drab, that's fine. Relax and enjoy the kaleidoscope that is gender expression.

[ronna]

You will get over it, Vem.

This is how weird it is for me:
I never wanted to "get in touch with my feminine side," it never occurred to me that I had a feminine side! Then I started wearing women's clothing, and became consumed by it. Then I started to wonder if I had a masculine side at all, or maybe I was just going through a phase that would bring me back to my masculine side. But no, it has just gone away and every moment of my life, I am thinking about what I will wear the next time and when I will be able to dress up again. I have since decided that I must not have a masculine side at all and resigned to the fact that I am truly a Girlie Guy who is pretending to be masculine most of the time. And you thought you were confused!

[sportschick]

Not to worry. Everybody's different I expect. The urge to dress only hits me 2 or 3 times a year,I've gone 3 years before without dressing, haven't done it since April either and don't miss it at all. But 25 years has taught me it'll be back when it's back. When it is, I'll enjoy it, 100% girlie outing. Meanwhile, guy mode is a lot simpler..and cheaper. Enjoy it, it's all good.

[JocelynG]

Vem,
Alot of us has been in that boat before. Just let nature take its course and you'll get those feelings again

[Sweet Jeanette]

It'll come back! ----Don't worry. Im 57. ----Sometimes, --- the mind needs to take a hiatus! -------No Biggie! :cool:

[Jen_TGCD]

Okay... you want to talk about confusing???

I really haven't dressed fully for months now. Maybe it's just the long, hot and humid summer. Yet... I'm still shopping online and get these packages with dresses, lingerie and jewelry... and then don't wear them!!! :eek: Maybe I'm really not a CD afterall... I'm just a shop-a-holic!!! :o

However, when I do start dressing again (and I know I will)... I'm going to look gorgeous!!! :thumbsup:


Vem...

I think I know what you are going through. I call it a "Reality Crisis" ...when you look at your life and wonder, What the hell am I doing???

You spend way too much money on feminine clothing that, more than likely, no one will ever see but you... You spend way too much of your free time in femme mode... in front of the mirror trying to get your eyeliner on straight or sitting in the bathtub trying to shave your legs without drawing blood... You spend more time thinking about the consequences of getting caught than enjoying the freedom of expressing your femininity.

All that spending... and enjoying it less ? ? ?

Well, it's probably a good thing to back away from this CD thing, once in a while, to make sure that you are in balance with your "real" life. Your confidence will return when you know that you have taken care of all the other things that are important in your life... that you have probably not given enough attention to recently. Angel mentioned the Yin and Yang... it's the symbol of the balance of opposites. Let the guy express himself, too! And, I'll bet... the gal will soon be happy and content, again! :)

[susiej]

Vem,

Nothing's "wrong" with you at all -- where is it written that we have to be totally constant over time? Heaven knows GG's aren't!

What you describe has happened to me a lot over the years. Some time ago, I was diagnosed as having a low testosterone level (hmm, I suppose I could have guessed that one for myself). I signed up for a series of injections to raise it (*giggle* -- that's the level I'm talking about raising :)). During the time I was taking the shots, I didn't feel the need to dress as much. What a surprise.

So -- my point is that in some of us, the interest in things fem may be linked to hormone levels, which I'm sure fluctuate. A month or so ago, when I joined this forum, I was in super-fem mode, dressing nearly 24x7. This week, I'm back to being (mostly) a fella again.

IMHO we're lucky to be able to experience both sides of this incredible spectrum. We get to enjoy it both ways :).

Hugs,
Susie

[Vera]

thanks for your help..