whats my problem now

[t-girlxsophie]

Sitting in a hotel room with my wife,having a few days away for our anniversary.this is my Sophie day just finished getting dressed and am having tough time making a decision.my wife said she would love to1e stay in the room together and if i wanted to go somewhere dressed with her she would love that too.so why am i so reluctant about making that step-ive been out many times so it wouldnt be the first time.just worried about the reaction of hotel staff or other guests i guess.I have said on here before about the need for me to start going to more mainstream places as Sophie.so whats my problem this time.thought I was braver than this.Theres nothing i want more than to take my lady out somewhere nice-any advice would be so helpful.thank you

:hugs:Sophie

[audreyinalbany]

your wife is willing to go out with you? So go!!! What could be better than an afternoon together?

[Sarah Doepner]

Sophie,

I've always found the most difficult part of getting out is that first step out the door and I've frozen there with my hand on the door handle too many times to count. I regret most of them. Take that step out and remember the folks you run into are strangers that you will probably never see again. It may be that you will feel more like it once it gets a little dark outside.

If you still feel like returning to the room once the door is open, just enjoy the afternoon with your wonderful and supportive bride.

[Holly]

So, grab the phone book, sit down together and decide on a nice place to go... then get out and have a great time!!

[Shelly Preston]

Sophie

We all get times when our confidence takes a small dip

Holly is right chooose somewhere nice to go then just go for it especially as you have been out together before

[Inna]

Sophie, interestingly enough I think you are onto something of great importance. I have read on several occasions of this fear of acceptance and self criticism. I too have experienced such and I believe there is a fundamental ideology underlying this thought process. I suspect that such fear comes from within when an individual is crossdresing in a transsexual realm, that is, she wants to be perceived as a woman not just for fun, thrill or experiment but want to be felt and accepted as a female in its entirety. For the person only interested in how the clothes feels on the body or of fetishistic tendency such fear would be greatly diminished because then being accepted as a woman becomes secondary and fulfillment of an exercise becomes its sole objective.

[DianeDeBris]

So, grab the phone book, sit down together and decide on a nice place to go... then get out and have a great time!!

Once again Holly cuts right to the heart of the question and comes through with sensible, useful advice!!

[Jorja]

So, grab the phone book, sit down together and decide on a nice place to go... then get out and have a great time!!

Or, I could quickly build a CD out the door pusher and overnight it to you. :D

[sterling12]

We have A Gal in My Support Group where The Wife goes along just about everywhere. I think you will have a similar scenario. The Wife runs "interference" so to speak. Spends her time scoping everyone's face and looking for confrontation. It would take a very brave Waiter, or Sales Associate to mess with that set/angry expression on her face! I imagine your wife will be just about as protective....so, no sweat.....do it!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[RachelPortugal]

Hi Sophie,

Firstly, happy anniversary.

Your wife has given you a choice, stay in or go out. In life it is all too simple to choose the easiest options. Now, had your wife just said let's go out, then your fears may well have been lifted by her enthusiasm and you would have been out the door in a trice.


We have A Gal in My Support Group where The Wife goes along just about everywhere. I think you will have a similar scenario. The Wife runs "interference" so to speak. Spends her time scoping everyone's face and looking for confrontation. It would take a very brave Waiter, or Sales Associate to mess with that set/angry expression on her face! I imagine your wife will be just about as protective....so, no sweat.....do it!

Peace and Love, Joanie

A confident and accepting partner by your side makes it all the easier.

Only yesterday, my wife and I were discussing a forthcoming trip and Rachael's inclusion in the plans. At present, she does not feel up to going out with Rachael as she pick up on all the glances and stares and also the sympathetic looks that she receives from other people. She did add that we should pack for all three of us, just in case she gets a burst of confidence on the journey.

[TiffanyTgirl]

I think the first time is the hardest. My first outing was solo. You have a supprotive mate so I can't see why not. If you just aren't that comfortable, baby steps. Go for a drive at night.

[JennaR]

I would go, but feel uneasy about it. If I went out as Jenna in a place away from home, or even close I doubt anyone would even recognize me. Maybe, in some supper up-close situation but if we went out together........different story anyone can put two and two together. We’ve actually run into people we know (not dressed up) in places like Puerto Vallarta, like, staying at the same hotel, what up. I guess I'm saying it's all about association. I was thinking about doing something like Lake Tahoe where we could be together but maybe in another row or something. Then if I here Oh hi how are you? I'm sliding away for a bit. Actually that sounds dangerous and exciting to me. Anyway, is there a place where you are that you could be together but not soooo together?

[Fab Karen]

Hotel staff doesn't care ( unless you're doing things like screaming at the top of your lungs, or trashing the place ( like rock stars on drugs in the old days ) ) .
Don't think. The mind loves to sit and create fear ( even in people who aren't CD's ) thoughts that aren't real. Put yourself together to look your best, and remember always: many of GG's out there are not like models. Go out the door and just focus on where you're going, what you're doing ( shopping, going to eat, etc. ), you're just another member of society doing normal life stuff.

[t-girlxsophie]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies,I have finally had the chance to sit and reflect on the past cpl of days,sorry in advance for the long post.After writing my OP,my wife and I sat and discussed what to do,We decided I should go down to see the hotel Management,I spoke to the manageress telling her I was a Crossdresser,and I didn't want to offend anyone,but would it be OK if I came down dressed,She told me that would be fine,but what she said next threw me totally,she said I hope I wouldn't be upset if they laughed!! then added that it could have been a problem if children were staying at the hotel,well of course that was a bit strange,but only later did i discover It was a misunderstanding,she had picked me up wrong,The Rocky Horror Show was In town and all week they had guests appear in Basques suspenders and fishnets (and little else LOL)she thought thats what I meant.she apologised and said she was pleasantly surprised when she saw me,she said she wouldn't have even known which was nice of her,but I digress

By this time it was early evening so we decided just to go to Gay bar for a cpl of drinks,the taxi ride went fine,and we had a nice night,a baby step but it went well,Next morning my wife asked me if it I fancied Going shopping as Sophie,well It took me seconds to say yes,perhaps the previous evenings trip out had given my confidence a boost,nevertheless I showered and then,carefully applied my makeup and put my wig on,selected my outfit (cream lace sweater,check skirt and sensible 2" heels,woolen coat)lifted my handbag and brolly,It was typically Raining Scottish day,Umbrella now theres an added disguise if I got nervous,well of course the rain went off (bang went that idea:heehee:)

My wife held my hand tight,perhaps sensing my nerves and I grew more and more confident as I quickly realised no one was even looking at us strangely,We went into a few shops looking for nice clothes,picking up xmas presents etc,mingling with the other shoppers,still no reaction.And then something happened I wuld Never have thought I would ever hear,in one store a SA came up to us and said "hello Ladies,LADIES!!! plural,weeeell I had such a big smile on my face,of course she then tried to sell us something,but it still counts-Doesnt It :),had slightly less positive reaction in another store,there was 3 SAs which quickly was reduced to 1 girl,then suddenly from the storeroom door,appeared another hithertoo hidden employee (a guy) who Im sure wanted a glimpse of the Tranny,he then promtly dissapeared again,Now that wasnt too obvious now was it,Honestly my Wife and I found It too Funny:heehee: that in itself a sign of my growing confidence.

Then we decided to go for a spot of Lunch,so we went to Pizza Hut and took our seats,again no reaction,I couldnt believe here I was in the middle of a busy restaurant with familys,workies etc seated all around,Dressed,my fears proving ever more unfounded,the young Lady serving us (A young American girl actually) was ever so nice,Honestly I left there On a cloud,ever so happy that we had done this

As Joanie said,my wife ran Interference (hope ive got that in the right context),On the way to get a taxi back to our hotel,there was Negativity from young kids on a bus,but my wife kept talking to me keeping any knowledge of their Insults from me,Without her strength and her Understanding Im sure I wouldnt have made this Step,I owe her everything.:love:

The days events just showed me what can be done If we put our minds to it.That night I even went out alone to get us some food my confidence at that point was sky high.I know I dont Pass but strangely,by doing my best to look and feel good,and blend in with others I felt some sort of acceptance as a Woman,I hope that doesnt sound silly.

Nearly finished-Honest,this has been by far Sophie's best ever experience:daydreaming:,and I promise no more Posts from me bemoaning the fact Im scared to go out:heehee:,I really think if you have a desire to get out you should take that step,even if it is a baby step,IM ever so glad I did just that

GREAT BIG :hugs: Sophie

[Holly]

Yea, Sophie :cheer:. Thanks for once again pointing out that the fears we have in our minds are almost always greater than the reality once we make that first step out the door. Congtatulartions to you for overcoming. And congratulations to your loving, compassionate, thoughful wife. She's a very special lady (but then, you already know that).

[mklinden2010]

is enough.

[sterling12]

Yes, congratulations! The Bottom Line is that you overcame most of your fears, got out there and interacted with Society. It will get easier, and don't be hesitant about quickly initiating your next "Safari." It gets easier for Fears to build back up, and if we allow time and our minds to dwell on negatives. Ya' Done Good! I think this is The Beginning of another Sister finally breaking free! Man, I love to hear and read about those kinds of stories.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[carolyn todd]

well done sophie and three no five gold stars for your wife,for being with you.
don't let it worry you,being out and about people may stare at you they may have never seen a cd
they will get use to it after a while and not bother about it or any other cd who comes in to the shop

WELL DONE SOPHIE

carolyn xx

[erickka]

I know where you are coming from, Sophie. The fact that you have a supportive wife is a real plus. Just go out that door and ENJOY LIFE! Most people couldn't give a lesses $#!+ about those who are around them... they're all caught up in their own little worlds. You look pretty good, and I really doubt that you would draw too much attention, especially two ladies out together. Just my thoughts here sweetie!

[Jorja]

Another one bites the dust or Welcome to the world Sophie! Congratulations on taking that all important first step out the door. Thanks to Mrs. Sophie too, your such a gem!

Now dust off thoes credit cards and get out there girls!!! :D

[Sarah Doepner]

Not a problem, just a challenge and you did well! Good for you Sophie!

[AKAMichelle]

It is scary to take that big step to go wherever you want whenever you want to go. Sounds like you made it so now you are ready to have the fun that only Sophie can enjoy.